Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece.
"One Piece." – Speaking
'One Piece.' – Thinking
One Piece. – Flashbacks
One Piece. – Devil Fruits and Techniques
Deadly Drinking Pirate
Enter Luffy, The New Government Dog, Without A Leash!
Previously on Deadly Drunken Pirate,
"Hello Mugiwara." This time, the voice from the other end sounded like that of a high official; a lot of authority, a demand for respect and ready to talk important business. "You said in your response letters, sent to the Marines, that you wanted to speak with us about your new position." Then the whole world started to crash once the man on the receiver end spoke, "To discuss with us, the Gorosei (Five Great Elders), about you becoming the one to replace Crocodile as a Shichibuki."
This time, nobody spoke. Shanks and Shirohige (Whitebeard) will give them heart attacks. This time, Luffy is practically talking to the rulers of the whole world. "Yes, I do." Luffy muttered those few words that broke the ice. "I've made up my decision but it will not come free. I have a handful of conditions that I wish to be met if I were to replace Crocodile." Luffy said in practically one breath. And silence soon followed afterwards.
"We're listening, Mugiwara." The man on the other side finally answered, not wanting to sound more obedient to a pirate than he already did. One will wonder if they know that the entire Straw Hats were also listening in. But Luffy will never go far as to point that out to the Gorosei.
"First, as a Shichibuki, I want not only protection to my crew but to my territory." Luffy spoke, "Before entering the Grand Line, I have been marking several islands in the East Blue and I did the same here in Alabastra. You want me to deal with other pirates, which is just dandy. But if Marines will try to harm anyone in my territory, I will retaliate. Acceptable?"
There was another long silence, waiting for the response on the other end. "…Very well. Anything else?" The Straw Hats really feel like they were all on a thin wire and just dodged a bullet that would have caused them to fall.
"Plenty." Luffy answered. "Second, you demand half of the loot that he obtain from other pirate ships. And I find them acceptable." Luffy brought and everyone turned to Nami who suddenly looked like she was going to boil over. "But while we will do that in the event we raid pirate ships, we are more like treasure hunters. And any treasure we find, we keep. We alone decide on how to use any gold, jewels or treasure discovered. Trust me, we are not career thieves, we rather uncover our funds."
"…As long as you act according to our standards, then you are free to use your money as you wish." The other man answered. "Anything else?"
"Third, as a Shichibuki, I am expected to obey your summons should there will be a conflict and you need me on the battlefield. While I am fine with that, see to it that will be the only reason to summon me." Luffy listed off another one. Not waiting for an immediate answer, he went on. "If you try to ask that I stop my journey for any other reason than to fight your wars, I will never answer. Only during times of war, acceptable?"
"Acceptable Mugiwara. Go on." The Straw Hats couldn't tell if the voice was either too patient for one's own good or just pretending to be patient. Thankfully, the suspense won't last any longer when Luffy took in a deep breath before speaking one more time.
"Finally, I suggest that you find other candidates for the Shichibuki. After all, I am not going to be one your dogs for long." That broke the ice and everyone almost thought that their captain sighed their death warrants. Nobody, marines or even pirates will speak so vulgar of the Gorosei! "And on that note, never accept those who have backstabbed their fellow sailors in the back. Like a certain…Marshall D. Teach." Luffy spoke that name with some much venom, you think that it was leaking out of his mouth. "He doesn't care about balance in your system, he wants you to go to war with his former captain, Shirohige."
"…We are aware of such a man, a pirate that sailed underneath Shirohige for a total of two decades, Mugiwara. He is a veteran pirate and might be a good candidate for your place as a Shichibuki." The voice answered, without a clear acceptance nor a denial. "And should we do decide to replace you with Teach, what will you do?"
"…" Luffy was silent, with a frown that seemed to make the air as heavy as lead. "If you do then I will go after Teach myself, and dispose of him." Once more, the atmosphere was engulfed in a painful silence, hopefully for the last time.
"Very well Mugiwara, as long as you follow our standards then we will remember your conditions. Don't get too comfortable, we will be searching." The member of the Gorosei spoke before the Den-Den Mushi fell asleep, proving that the connection has been cut. Luffy was left with this as his answer and an entire crew that he will have to answer to, for the endless questions and comments that are sure to go off like fireworks.
XXXXX
Meanwhile,
"WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT IS THIS!?" The south beachline of Alabasta, where Marine ships were docked, shook at the volume of that scream of disbelief and displeasure. And it came from a certain ship amongst the rest,
"Hina is annoyed, Smoker. Keep that voice down." A woman tried to speak calmly but that wasn't appreciated by her companion,
"DON'T YOU TELL ME TO BE QUIET! THEY HAVE GONE TOO FAR!" Smoker was like a rabid beast, on a sugar rush. "And you should be angry too, Hina! Now we can never go after Mugiwara, he is now one of the government dogs!"
Hina is a tall and slim woman with straight, waist-length pink hair that she wears in a middle part. She has dark brown eyes and wears red lipstick. Hina wore a burgundy-purple two-piece suit over a white blouse, as well as dark brown shoes and a pair of dark gloves. "Yes, Hina is not happy but Hina is not acting a baby throwing a temper tantrum."
Smoker turned and it was clear that his fellow marine was spot on, so the Marine Captain took out his duel cigars and took into a deep breath of clean air rather than smoke. "Fine, but I still can't believe that the World Government will make Mugiwara the one to replace that scum Crocodile. AND THEY WANT TO PROMOTE ME FOR ALL THIS CRAP!" Before Hina could make a comment, "I never sigh up for this bullshit! I should quit, right now!"
"Now that is going too far, Hina says! Not after all the hell you went through just to become a Captain!" Now the roles have switched and Smoker was the one calm while Hina was screaming her lungs dry.
"I agree." Both captains froze and turned to whoever just spoke; and their answer was a big shock. There, on the railings of the Marine ship, out in the open and in board daylight,
"MUIGWARA!" Smoker yelled out worse than before. And Hina didn't say a word this time, nor could she blame him for acting such. Why would a pirate, even a Shichibuki, ever be doing among the marines? Especially the one that hates him more than most. "Are you here to laugh that you are untouchable, being a dog of the government!?"
"Smoker, I did join the Shichibuki but I am nobody's dog. And the Gorosei were smart enough to accept it, being desperate old bone bags, they really are." Luffy spoke and once again, shook the marine captains to their core. "But I am here because, predictable, you were about to do your stupidest mistake in your whole life."
"Yeah? Did you really think that you can keep me in the navy, just so you could get away from me!?" Smoker got his voice back again. Then Luffy got a scowl and a frown, which got Smoker to feel like a child facing the displeased parent.
"We're getting off topic because I don't want any of this bullshit you are accusing me of. Stop this act and be the good man of the marines I know you are, Smoker." Luffy sounded upset, not like a spoiled child but of a stoic lord; no wonder the marine captains felt they were inches from being put to death. "I am going to find Roger's shoes and try them out. And you are to do the same with a certain old man who cornered the Pirate King more than anyone else. That is the man you are."
"And what are you going to do to stop me!? Blackmail me? You got nothing on-!" Smoker shouted off until he felt someone's hand on his shoulder. And a voice whispering into his ear, "…How. The. Hell." The proud marine captain started to get pale and with eyes wide with panic, "DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT!?"
"I have my ways. And I can think of what will happen when your superiors hear about this, juicy little secret." That man was Luffy and he already got Hina speechless with his split-blinker speed used to catch both marines off guard. "Now then, you can go ahead and quit. Or, you can change your mind and I keep my lips sealed. You are a good man, who knows what is worse than death, I am sure."
And, with that said, Luffy vanished without a sound; very like when he first appeared. There was just Smoker and Hina, still standing stiff as statues in that cabin. Then the ice was broken,
"Hina, I am going to get ready for a serious phone call about my promotion." Smoker said with a calm sigh, "But tell the crew that I am stuck with them for a while longer." Hina didn't make a sound, just crack a smirk before leaving for her own crew.
XXXXX
A week later,
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING ON OUR SHIP!?"
"Wahaha~!" The Straw Hats had quite the shock for when they finally returned to the King's Gourd. It was watched over by none other than the drama king/queen, Mr. 2 Bon Kurei himself. "I made sure nobodies and pesky so-sos wouldn't get this beautiful vessel. And I had fun with it, like always!"
"Whatever." Luffy grumbled while he got himself and his crew onboard. "Now why are you looking after our ship? I was under the impression you still were with Baroque Works. Especially after they promised to turn you guys in."
"I gave them the slip! Just to see you all again!" Mr. 2 let himself go again, "We are friends are we!?" Luffy felt that his eyebrow got itchy for some reason,
"Well, I can see that you are pulling our leg. And if we are friends, then take this." Mr. 2 turned to Luffy and took a small piece of paper, that had the captain's name and his pirate flag on it. "This will both keep you from getting arrested, and find us should you be in a real emergency. I trust that you won't try to use it excessively."
Despite the serious and heavy atmosphere, it seemed that Mr. 2 will never get out of his bad mood. "Understood perfectly! And now I will take my leave, as friends forever!" Mr. 2 jumped off the ship with the spin of the ballet dancer that he was. And the Straw Hats watched the swam-themed ship finally leave their sights.
"Now everyone…" Luffy spoke to break the silence. "It's time to search for the next adventure! Get ready for the seas and find our next course!" And the crew cheered and ran off around the ship while the captain heads to the helm. But, they had one last surprise that day.
"There you are, you little brat!
End of Chapter 29.
*Hey guys! Sorry about the serious delays, I just love my new game! I got myself a copy of the game that has taken the world by storm and made it into the list of the best video games ever made: Legend of Zelda, Breath of the Wild!
I have heard of open-world video games like Skyrim or World of Warcraft but both of those are PC games that you play on your computer. Breath of the Wild does it on the silver screen and it does it so well that I was practically addicted to it! So right now, I am working to break out this addiction and maybe make a couple more updates before June ends. Wish me luck! *
