Secrets Are Walls That Keep Us Alone
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Sirius Black was the hero of Gryffindor.
They mobbed him when he stepped off his broom. They screamed his name. They didn't seem to think he did drugs or anything of the sort now. They loved him.
James had caught the snitch, and they loved him too. But Sirius had put on a real show today, and they all knew it.
By the time Sirius and James extracted themselves from their fellow Gryffindors, the rest of the team was already in the locker room.
They changed, discussing the party that was sure to happen now, what with Gryffindor having a good chance at the cup this year.
Sirius really had no interest in the party. He had played the game, made the saves. He did it for James, because it was important to him. Now, all he wanted was to do his last detention and go to bed.
"You have to go to the party, Sirius," James said. "It won't be the same without you there."
"I've got detention though," Sirius said.
"The party will go all night, you know that. You can come late."
Sirius shrugged. "I'm really tired though."
"You can sleep in tomorrow."
"I guess…"
"Please?" James turned pleading eyes to his friend.
"Oh, all right."
"Maybe you should get our arm looked at first, though," James said, eyeing the nasty bruise already forming on Sirius' forearm.
"Episkey!" Sirius said, pointing his wand. The bruise disappeared.
"Nice," James complimented. "Must be all the adrenaline from winning."
Sirius scowled playfully. "I happen to be good at healing spells, unlike you."
"I can do them just fine!"
"You nearly maimed Peter."
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"Did not!"
"This is stupid."
James glared at him, then laughed. "You're right."
"On both counts."
As they left the locker room, James was already beginning to rehash every detail of the game, looking for future strategies. Sirius nodded a lot and said "mhmm" in the right places, without really listening to a word.
"Black!" The call shot across the entrance hall, loud and sudden. He turned to see McGonagall standing at the door to the Great Hall.
"Yes, professor?" he said as he walked over.
"I have considered, and…" she began. Sirius felt dread sink into his stomach, while hope pulled his heart up into his throat, a rather sickening combination. "In light of your good behavior these past few weeks, and of course, your performance in the match today, I would be willing to forget your last detention."
"Really?" Sirius asked, surprised.
"Thanks Professor McGonagall! You're the greatest!" James said, then grabbed Sirius' arm and pulled him away.
"Are you mental? Don't question someone offering to let you miss a detention!" James berated him. Sirius didn't say anything. "We really ought to get you some coffee or something before the party."
The common room was full to bursting by the time they arrived, and hands reached out to pull James and Sirius into the room, lifting them up high while everyone cheered.
"Behold!" a seventh year yelled. "Our spectacular Seeker and our fantastic Keeper!"
They were released then, though everyone gathered around. Someone pushed a drink into Sirius' hands, and he noticed James had one as well.
"Sirius!" James yelled over the noise.
"Yeah?" Sirius bellowed back.
"Know what time it is?"
"Time to get this party started!" Sirius played along, despite his exhaustion.
Music was started, loud, the bass beating in his chest, the rhythm moving through him. Everyone began dancing, a whole throng of people swaying to the same beat. Sirius danced for a few minutes, but quickly extricated himself.
He flopped into a chair and rubbed his eyes. "Bloody hell," he mumbled.
"What's wrong with you?" He looked up just as Lily sat down next to him.
"I'm tired," Sirius whined.
"So go to bed."
"Can't," he said, looking out at the crowd. "Promised James I'd come to the party."
"You aren't much use at a party when you're too tired to do anything."
"I just need something to give me a little boost…" Sirius trailed off as a seventh year walked up.
"Did I hear you say you need a little pick me up?"
Sirius nodded and the guy sat down.
"Here's the deal. Take this, and you'll be able to party all night if you want to," the guy said, holding out a little white pill. "And seeing as you're the hero of the match, call it complimentary."
"What is it?" Sirius asked. He wasn't sure it mattered too much, though. He wanted to be able to have fun tonight.
"Nothing dangerous, if that's what you're worried about," the guy said.
"That's a bad idea, Sirius," Lily warned in a low voice. But really, how bad could it be?
"Just this once can't hurt," Sirius said dismissively, taking the little pill, swallowing it quickly before she could object.
"Wise man," the seventh year said, getting up to walk away.
"I can't believe you did that," Lily said. "Just take his word that it won't hurt you, that's good enough for you?"
"I've been hurt before," Sirius said, and her expression transitioned quickly from scolding to surprise to pity. He hated pity. "Just this once, Lily. For James. It'll be fine."
Before she could say anything, he got up and moved back into the middle of the crowd of people, already feeling energy coursing through him.
He asked a girl to dance, and they danced for a few songs. The world felt a little fuzzy at the edges, a little unreal. The music washed over him like a strong tide, pulling at him, telling him to forget everything and just dance. It was warm amid all the other people dancing, but the discomfort was distant, not at all worrying.
He didn't know the name of the girl he was dancing with, who was running her hands through his hair, across his shoulders, down his chest. He didn't care that he didn't know her name.
He still didn't know her name when he found himself making out with her, cheers and catcalls raining down on him as her hair grabbed at his hands, ensnaring him to her.
He moved on a few minutes later, dancing with a different girl. The first one tossed her blond, now-mussed hair and stalked off. She probably knew his name.
James came up to him, laughing, saying something. Mouth moving, no sound, loud music, loud, loud, ringing in his ears, spinning around him. James frowned.
Sirius shook his head hard. Someone bumped into him from behind, he pitched forward, falling, sinking, lost.
