We had been home from tour for a month now, and things were going very smoothly. In fact, never in my life had things been so perfect. The only thing that was wrong was I missed having Peyton in the same house as me, but we talked everyday over the phone. She told me about Justin, Halvo, John, her dad. But since we talked every day, not a lot of things could bring me down.
Garrett and I hadn't seen anyone since tour was over, so today we were going to meet Jared and John Gomez at a nearby café.
I was waiting for Garrett on the couch; I had already showered, done my makeup and everything, but there was just one problem. Garrett wasn't even awake yet.
"Good lord," I mumbled, standing up and walking into our room. Sure enough he was still sprawled out all over the bed, sleeping like a baby. I quietly tip-toed over, making sure I didn't wake him by walking. I got up right to his ear…
"WAKE UP!" I yelled.
"WHATWUHAUHT!" he yelped as he jumped and fell off the bed.
"Oh….my god….are you…okay?" I asked in between breaths. I was laughing so hard I almost peed myself. I held out my hand to him, he took it, and I helped him get up.
"That wasn't funny," he murmured, making a frowning face at me. I kissed the top of his nose.
"Well, at least you're up now. We're meeting up with Jared and John at one, you know."
"I'm aware. What time is it now?"
"Twelve thirty."
"Oh, well shit!" He rushed passed me and headed towards the bathroom. I just laughed and took my seat back on the couch.
"JMCM!" I yelled, tackling the man. He gave me one of the biggest hugs I've ever received.
"Julie! It's not fair that Garrett gets to live with you and I don't," he said, pulling back.
"We have room in our bed for one more…isn't that right, Gare?" I asked, looking back.
"You can't leave me out, though!" Gomez joined.
"You can be like the dog that sleeps at the end of the bed," Jared joked.
"Or, or, Julia and I can have alone time," Garrett said.
"Nah, you need some JMCM in your life," Jared stated, flexing. Boys.
After talking for awhile, we all went in and sat down. It was really refreshing seeing good friends after a few days.
"So," Jared started, "when's the wedding?"
I let out a small laugh. "Well, John and I didn't want to rush into anything, but we're thinking about just going to Vegas tomorrow and doing it then."
"We weren't going to tell anyone, though, so, shhhh," Gomez said, winking.
"Har de har. But really, Garrett, are you going to marry her?" Jared asked again.
"I don't know, Jared. Are you ever going to marry Tessa?" he shot back.
"Touche…"
"Why get married when everyone knows we're in love?" I chimed in, hugging on to Garrett's arm.
"You already act like you're married, though," John said. "You live together, you're madly in love and not afraid to show it. The only thing you don't do is, you know, it." How did he know that we haven't even had sex yet? I'm sure I turned as read as a tomato when he said that.
"We want our first time together to be romantic. Not just a, 'Oh hey, I'm in the mood, let's do it right here' type of thing," Garrett defended.
"Marriage just seems like a waste of money," I stated. "We know we're in love. We don't need a certificate to prove it."
"I never looked at it that way," Jared said.
"Yeah, it's like-" I stopped and put my hand over my mouth.
"What? What is it?" Garrett asked, rubbing my back.
I shot up, ran to the bathroom, and puked in the toilet. Garrett rushed in behind me, even though it was a gendered bathroom, and held my hair back.
"This is becoming a problem," he said as I pulled back. I stood up, walked over to the sink, and rinsed my mouth out.
"I don't know what's wrong with me," I murmured.
"We're taking you to a doctor. Right now."
Jared and John understood that I was sick, so we parted ways and Garrett took me to a walk-in clinic. We didn't have to wait that long before we were called back into the doctor's office. I went in there by myself as Garrett stayed in the lobby and filled out some paper work for me.
"So, what is the problem?" he asked me.
"I've been having random puking spells," I replied. "I don't even feel sick, and then they just come."
"Any other problems?"
"Some small headaches now and then, but those always happen."
He wrote down some things on his clipboard, and then stood up. "If you'll come with me, I'd like to take some blood from you."
I followed him into a certain room, and then he took blood from my arm. I didn't ask what he thought was wrong, or why he was taking blood, I just went along with it. After he got the blood, he sent me back to the room I was in, and Garrett was waiting in there. I sat down beside him, and he grabbed my hand.
"Do you know what's wrong, yet?" he asked.
"No. The doctor just took some blood from me. That's all," I answered.
We sat there in silence for a few minutes when finally the doctor returned to the room.
"I've gotten the results back from your test, Julia," he said, sitting down in his doctor chair across from us. "It's what I thought it was."
"Well, what? What's wrong with me?" I asked. He handed me the paper that was in his hand.
I read over that sentence at least one hundred times. So did Garrett. I threw the paper down and fell to the floor in tears. How could this happen to me?
The car ride back home was very silent. Garrett and I didn't say one word to each other. He just rubbed my knee as I sat in the passenger seat, still crying. I was out of tears, but I couldn't stop crying.
"We'll get through this," Garrett said softly. "Everything will be okay."
"I don't know what I'm going to do, Garrett…"
"Just remember you're not alone. You have me, Jared, Peyton…all the guys…we're here for you."
We arrived home, and I headed straight for our bed. I lied down and pulled the covers over me. I didn't feel like moving, at all.
Garrett lay down beside me. "Is there anything you need?"
"To die," I replied.
"Don't say that, please…I told you. Everything will be okay. Trust me." He kissed my cheek and stood up. "I'm going to be in the kitchen making some dinner. If you need me, just yell for me. I love you."
As he exited the room, I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket. There was one person that needed to know about this right now.
I browsed through my contacts until I found who I was looking for. When the name was highlighted, I just stared at the screen. I finally pressed the green button.
Riiiiing
"Pick up, please…" I said to myself.
Riiiiing
"Come on, please…"
Riii-
"Julia? Hello?"
I didn't have the balls to say hello back. I just hung up and put my phone beside me.
A few minutes passed, and there was no call back. I was kind of relieved, because I knew if that phone rang, I would have to answer.
"I'll never be your beast of burden
So let's go home and draw thecurtains
Music on the radio
Come on baby make sweet love to me"
That dreaded song played over and over and over. I didn't want to pick up the phone. I knew it needed to be done, though.
"Hello?" I answered shakily.
"Hey...what's going on?"
"There's something I have to tell you…"
"What is it?"
"But, just know, this is your damn fault, and I don't want anything to do with you after I tell you this. You just have the right to know, okay?"
"Julia, what the hell is going on?"
I didn't know if I could say it. I didn't want to say it.
"Julia!"
"Cameron….I'm pregnant." I hung up the phone, turned it off, curled up into a ball, and cried.
"We can either watch…The Lion King or Aladdin," Garrett said as he was looking through his movie collection. "Those are my two favourite Disney movies."
"Aladdin," I answered quietly, snuggling under the blanket. We were on the couch watching movies together after I had the breakdown when calling Cameron. The only other people who knew besides Cameron and Garrett were Peyton and her dad. Everyone else could wait.
"Do you need anything else while I'm up? Water, or..."
"I'll take some water," I replied.
As soon as he walked into the kitchen, my phone vibrated. I pulled it out and I had a text from Peyton.
Have you decided what you're going to do when it gets here?
I texted her back.
I haven't even thought about it. I'm only 21, Pey. I'm not ready for this…
Garrett reentered the living room and sat down beside me, handing me a glass of water.
"Thanks, dear," I said, taking a sip of it.
"No problem," he replied, leaning back and putting his arm around my shoulder. Then I received another text from Peyton.
You could always give it to a family who physically can't have children.
I stared at that text for the longest time. She had a very large point. There was no way I was ready for a child to come into my life. I haven't even thought about children yet.
I closed my phone and looked over at Garrett.
"What is it?" he asked me.
"Can we talk about something important?"
"Of course. What about?"
I pointed to my stomach.
"Oh…well, what about her? Or him? I hope it's a boy, though," he stated.
"Why?"
"Well, I guess since I'm a male, it's kind of a want for your child to be a boy, you know? I'm really excited for this child, Julia!" he exclaimed, pulling me in for a tight hug. That's not what I wanted to hear.
"That's what I…wanted to talk to you about," I mumbled.
"About the baby?"
"About keeping it."
"There's no way I'm letting you get an abortion, Julia. Don't even think about it," he stated, putting his hand on my stomach.
"No, no, I would never do that…"
"Well, what is it?"
"I…" I cleared my throat. "I want to give the baby away. I mean, to a family who can't have children on their own…"
He took his hand off my stomach and crossed his arms. He gave me a look that I didn't want to see. "Are you serious?"
"Yes Garrett…why wouldn't I be?"
"Why on earth is this even in your mind?"
"Garrett, you are 20 and I am 21. You travel all the time. I couldn't bear being here all by myself all the time with his kid, this kid that was created by a guy I don't even love and I don't want anything to do with, anymore. I'm not ready for a child."
He shook his head. "We are though, Julia, and it should mean something to you that I'm here supporting you one hundred percent. I could leave and let you deal with this with Cameron, but I'm not. I'm sitting here beside you, ready to take on the position as this child's father. I love you more than anything, and I can tell you I already love the life that is growing in your stomach as if I made it myself." He was getting teary-eyed, and so was I.
"Garrett, I can't have this child. This baby needs parents that can be there for it twenty-four hours a day, and that's going to be hard when you're in a major band, touring all the damn time."
Our voices were getting louder. "Julia, this can work! If you would just trust me, we can both raise this baby!"
"Garrett, it won't work out unless you quit The Maine and stay home, and I am NOT letting you do that! We can make two people happy by giving them this baby, but you can't see that because you're being so selfish right now!"
He stood up, as did I. We were screaming at each other, now. "Julia Bell, you're the one who is being fucking selfish! You're thinking about how YOU can't handle this, or how YOU aren't ready. YOU, YOU, YOU. I told you that we could make this work! I told you to TRUST me, Julia! If you're not going to keep this baby…OUR baby, then I'm leaving."
"Garrett….I …..can't….-"
Garrett sighed and shook his head. He then turned and headed for the front door.
"You might want to pack your things up. I'll call Peyton and tell her to come pick you up."
I fell to my knees, sobbing so much I could barely hear myself think.
"Garrett…don't...leave me...please...You can't…do this…"
He opened the front door, and right before he walked out, he quietly said, "Bye, Julia."
And with that, he was gone.
