Four hours earlier
Maura's hands curled tightly around her red Keep Calm and Buy Shoes mug that Jane had given her several months prior. There had naturally been a cheeky grin and sarcastic remark delivered with the mug, but Maura had simply smiled broadly and thanked Jane graciously. After all, it really was the perfect gift for the medical examiner. Unfortunately neither the memory nor the cooling contents of the mug brought Maura any comfort. She sat at her desk rigidly, eyeing Agent Blake carefully as the federal investigator made herself comfortable on the couch.
Agent Geneva Blake was tired and if it wasn't for the fact she was sitting in the office of the Chief Medical Examiner for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, with the corpses of two colleagues tucked away in the cooler awaiting autopsy, she may have even admitted to feeling dead tired. As it was the entire cluster fuck of an investigation now came down to the computer geeks to find some sort of lead they were missing, because without one, Detective Rizzoli was going to join the ever mounting death toll. Blake believed they still had time, but how much time depended entirely on the mental state of the missing detective.
"We'll find her." Blake surprised not only Maura, but herself with the confidence her voice exuded.
She wanted to feel confident and have faith that things would end well, but she couldn't help but wonder if Jane had run out of lives. The horrors she had endured before coming out the other side, the numerous times she should have died... well Maura couldn't help but wonder. Still she focused on the incredible will of Jane Rizzoli to survive, she was by definition a survivor, the close calls testament to just that. It was an internal battle that raged constantly within the medical examiner and she would be the first to admit that the change in her relationship with Jane only made her fears more prevalent. More than ever Maura could not afford to lose Jane Rizzoli from her life and as such her fear was almost debilitating.
Maura's shoulders dropped minutely, and she inhaled and exhaled steady breaths in an attempt to calm her nerves. "I just wish there was more that I could do."
"There is. We're gonna discuss Ryan so I can get a better handle on him, so that when we do have a location I can resolve this peacefully."
Maura sunk further down into her chair, it was unladylike and not at all the professional manner with which she liked to present herself, but the situation warranted it. There was no peaceful resolution coming. "That's not going to happen, Agent Blake. I will offer what ever insight I can into Ryan, but this situation will not end peacefully. He is not just going to let Jane go and he is unlikely to allow himself to be taken alive. He could well take Jane with him if he feels threatened."
Blake sighed, because deep down she knew Doctor Isles was spot on. Her biggest concern with the entire situation once they found his location was his propensity to use explosive devices. She already had the bomb squad on standby for the moment they had a location, but knew they were going to be walking in blind and that left Detective Rizzoli in a precarious position. She leaned forward, her forearms resting on her knees while she looked Maura head on. "She's not dying on my watch, Doctor Isles. There's been enough death and I for one refuse to accept anything less than success."
"I'll hold you to your word, Agent Blake."
"You do that." The incessant pounding in her head caused the agent to rub at her temple tentatively before flopping back unceremoniously on the couch. "This case will be the death of me…" as soon as the words had slipped out of her mouth she realised the absolute poor taste, "Crap I'm sorry, that's really just… yeah." Blake threw her hands up and then let them drop, her exaggerated gesticulation drawing a slight smile from Maura.
"Indeed an unfortunate wording that I genuinely hope is not prophetic in any manner."
"I haven't had near enough sleep in the past forty eight hours, but nonetheless… and honestly Doctor Isles, at this point I think you should just call me Geneva. We're in this together, and I'm rather tired of the formality."
There was surely some irony in the request given Blake had used Maura's formal title and this only amused Maura. A moment of respite from the swirling dark thoughts that clouded her mind. "Then you must also call me Maura, Geneva."
"Touché."
Silence thickened the air between them as both women fell back into their own worlds for a short time. Blake couldn't help but watch Maura as she was lost to her thoughts. The emotions that passed over the medical examiner's face told the true story of the fear that was being held back and it made the agent ache a little for her. She coughed into her hand to bring Maura out of her thoughts before speaking. "This situation is crappy and it does us no good to focus on what we can't change right now. So tell me about her, Maura. Tell me about Detective Jane Rizzoli and don't tell me what I can read in her jacket… tell me about the real Jane Rizzoli."
Maura frowned, "I really don't see…"
"You need to stop thinking about what might happen, it's dragging you under and Rizzoli needs you. So yes, this is relevant. Tell me about who she is to you." Blake needed Maura to keep it together, not that she could really blame the woman for the cracks appearing in her professional façade. She had experienced almost as much trauma as Detective Rizzoli and as such it was only natural she would reach a point where it was overwhelming, but Blake needed to keep her in the game.
It was an interesting concept for Maura to try and put into words the impact of Jane in her life. She tilted her head in assessment of Agent Blake before finally nodding in agreement and moving from her position behind her desk to one of the more comfortable arm chairs beside the couch.
An unbidden smile curled at her lips as her brain was inundated with memory after memory of the brazen detective. "Honestly, Jane is absolutely beyond any doubt the most infuriating person I have ever encountered."
Agent Blake laughed heartily at the unexpected nature of the response; it was the exact break in seriousness that they both needed. "She's certainly a whirlwind of combustible attitude."
"She's an incredibly intelligent woman but she likes to pretend otherwise when it suits her. She would deliberately refer to my African Spurred Tortoise as a turtle knowing full well I could not let it slip and would have to correct her. She gets great enjoyment out of eliciting the same reaction time and again, as if my quirky tendencies were not rudimentary." Maura shook her head softly at the thought, mirth in her eyes and the smile only growing larger. "Irrefutably infuriating and yet all I can honestly do is roll my eyes and shake my head at myself for falling for the line time and time again."
"Sounds like she just didn't know a better way of telling you how much she cared."
"Jane has never been one for telling, she's definitely a take action kind of woman. Although honestly when it came to her feelings for me the rate of realisation before she took action was simply glacial. I'm not the most adept in social situations. I consider myself to be quite awkward in part due to my literal nature, but even a blind man could see Jane's attraction… and she calls herself a detective." Maura chuckled a little at her own joke before sobering up as she wished Jane had been there to hear it. "Without Jane I would still be known as Queen of the Dead or Doctor Death, which thankfully is no longer the case."
Blake winced a little at the nicknames, "People can be such jerks."
"Yes they can." Maura acknowledged, her gaze dropping to her hands folded neatly in her lap. Her thoughts drifted further and she let out a small sigh, "Jane is very uncompromising, as you may have noticed… Geneva." A slight pause as her brain interjected the friendlier term before the automatic formal term Agent Blake escaped her lips.
"And yet I find that she will be quite compromising when I ask nicely." A teasing grin lit up her face, "Of course she doesn't realise that I know that I have her wrapped around my finger."
Blake could see the sadness still lingering under the surface and she also knew enough of the doctor to know that what she really needed in this moment was a friend. She smiled sadly and said, "I can see that it hasn't been easy for you this week, but you have hung in there like a champ. She's lucky to have you Maura; you do know that, right?"
"No it has not been easy," Maura decided to leave the second question alone, as she honestly couldn't be sure that her presence was as wonderful for Jane as others might suggest. She was still highly regimented and that meant she had sometimes unfair expectations of the detective, she really didn't think she was that easy to be around at times.
Blake decided to let that part of the conversation go, instead opting to share a little of her own history in the hopes of building a stronger connection. "My mother is in the advanced stages of Alzheimer's, and it absolutely kills me when she doesn't recognise us. She was a university professor, simply brilliant mind and now it's nothing more than the rarest glimpse in that moment of lucidity and awareness that she has. It's clearly not the same thing that you've been experiencing with Rizzoli, but I can begin to understand how it must feel."
"Yes… I never could understand the idea of an emotional feeling being described as heart crushing or soul destroying really, until that very moment she looked at me and I was nothing more than a complete stranger. I'm not sure that feeling is ever going to leave me and I have the good fortune of knowing that she is making progress. I cannot begin to comprehend the level of heartache your mother's condition must bring you and I am truly sorry that it is something you both must endure."
Blake waved away the sympathy, "It is what it is. I just wanted you to know that I do get it." Really when she thought about it Geneva Blake understood a lot more than the effects of the amnesia on Maura, she also understood that permanent fear that comes with caring for a cop. Worse than that she understood the reality of that person not coming home and in many ways it is what spurred her on in her determination to bring Jane home safely. Sure she was angry for her own lost agents, but on some level they knew the score. She wanted to resolve this not so much to save a fellow law enforcer, but to save her loved one.
She chewed anxiously on her thumb nail, an unfortunate habit she developed in childhood and never grew out of. She wanted to connect with the woman sitting beside her, but she knew it was a topic that could spiral everything back into the negative. "I know you're worried about Jane, but I have faith that she'll be alive when we find her. I know that moment as you said is going to be the greatest risk for her safety, but Maura I'm going to do everything I can to ensure that she comes outta this alive."
Maura studied the agent closely and nodded softly when she felt satisfied with the legitimacy of that statement. After all it was one thing to say you would do everything you possibly could and another to actually carry through. There was something about the look in Blake's eyes that conveyed the seriousness of the agent. "I believe you. I just honestly hope it will be enough."
"It's just… I understand what you're going through right now, especially knowing that there's nothing we can do about it until we receive a place to look. My father was a cop in Detroit, and growing up he was in quite a few scrapes. It was one of the hardest things to deal with…"
Maura closed her eyes and swallowed down her emotions. She knew exactly that feeling, "Not knowing if he would come home each night. Yes, I do believe you understand my fears, especially now."
"Yeah," Blake said, her mind drifting back to one of the worst nights of her life. "One night he didn't come home," she swallowed thickly, "And so I mean it when I tell you I'll do any damn thing I can to keep Jane safe. I'm giving that word because I know what it's like when they don't come home and I don't want you to feel that Maura, not on my watch."
Maura had to wipe the tears that spilled away roughly. She didn't feel comfortable with the show of emotion, but she recognised that Agent Blake was sharing a small part of herself in an effort to assuage her fears. "Thank you Geneva. I know we cannot truly predict the future, but it does comfort me to know that someone out there wants to bring Jane home as much as I do. I am terribly sorry for the loss you endured as a child. It really does feel as though life has been unkind to your family."
Agent Blake sat up straighter and leaned forward towards Maura. Ignoring the kind words directed her way she looked past the conversation and into hazel eyes that spoke of a person fighting desperately to hold on to their faith. "We're going to bring her home so that she can infuriate you for years to come."
And that was that. One way or another, Blake knew she wouldn't rest until this wrong was righted. The world needed Maura Isles, and Maura Isles needed Jane Rizzoli.
A/N: So I wanted to delve into Maura's feelings a little bit, but... then it sort of turned into character development for an OC as well, but hey... I think it just adds to what is coming. Anyways I hope you all enjoy this particular update and as usual thank you to all those who read and review, fave and follow. This has become by far my most well received fiction and I guess my goal is 400 reviews before the story is done... which I guess if I have 4 or 5 more chapters should be easy... but I am not sure how many are to come.
