CH29
Rick woke up in the middle of the night. As he blinked his eyes, he found Kate's hazel eyes looking back at him. He also noticed that they were wrapped up in each other. "Hi," he said, getting a "Hi," back from Kate.
"Meow." I'm so sorry.
They both realized Alexis was laying on top of them or maybe more in-between the small crack that existed between them.
"Meow." I'm really sorry.
Kate looked at Rick not understanding why Alexis was sorry. "Alexis talked me into telling you everything before we got married. No more secrets," he explained quietly.
"Meow." I'm sorry.
She pulled Alexis in closer and kissed her fur. "What happened isn't your fault Alexis." She kissed her fur again.
"We'll talk in the morning?" he suggested and she nodded, pulling him even closer with their faces close together and shut her eyes.
Jim came into the room and handed the room key to his wife. "Any change?" Jim asked before checking for himself.
"They're still wrapped up in each other though the cat looks to have moved a little," Johanna mentioned and gave Jim a quick kiss. "Go get some sleep Jo. I'll watch them til morning," he told her and escorted her to the door.
"Like that's going to happen." Johanna had her doubts and by the way Jim was yawning, he hadn't gotten much, if any, sleep either. "Try anyway, we can't help them if we're the ones sleeping," he pointed out. "I married the right man," she told him and kissed him before leaving for their room.
Jim took a peek into the bedroom. His wife was right. They were closer to each other than ever and the cat looked to be in the crack between them.
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Rick blinked his eyes open and could feel someone breathing on his face. He focused and found Kate's eyes were open and watching him. "Staring at me while I'm sleeping I take it," he questioned. Her hand rose to stroke his face. "You looked peaceful and it helped a little."
"I'm sorry Kate, really. I can't give you back your 5 lost years and I can't give you back the baby. I can't even tell you when the baby would have been born or if it was a boy or a girl. If it would have had your eyes, hair, legs. The baby may have just as easily looked a lot like he did. However there is one more problem to consider," he paused to see if she was sharp enough to figure it out herself.
"I might have had a miscarriage because of the drugs I was being given."
"That or worse," he said and saw her questioning face. "The drugs were damaging you internally. Bad drugs have, in the past, resulted in diseases or deformities. Your baby, because of those drugs, could have had something even worse than Batten disease."
"He would have killed both of us, wouldn't he?" she asked softly. "He already was Kate and forcing an abortion on you tells you what he thought about you giving him a child."
"He'd have killed it even if it was perfect," she realized. She and her baby were doomed from the start. "Thank you for saving me. You gave me my life back and I want it…with you." She moved her head forward to kiss him.
"Meow." I'm still sorry.
"You didn't capture me Alexis. You didn't sell me, you didn't drug me, and you didn't try to kill me after you tired of me. All you've done since you saw me was to love me, and I love you for it." Kate moved her hand from Rick's face to pet Alexis.
"I'm sorry I wasn't your mother Alexis. I would never have left you, even if I did have the genetic marker," she swore to both Alexis and Rick. Alexis rubbed the side of her face against Kate's face.
"Purrr. Purrr." I love you too. And I'm keeping you.
"You're perfectly healthy now Kate. You can have all the children you want," he pointed out. She looked at him in astonishment. Did Rick just say her wanted to have children with her? It brought a fresh wave of tears to her eyes as she stroked his face and reached out to kiss the tip of his nose.
She had a future when she didn't even know it had been stolen from her. "Are there others out there like me?" she wondered. "Exactly like you? I doubt it. Are there women who have been taken and sold? Either for sex or some other reason? Most likely, I'm sorry to say. Why?" He looked at her like he knew what she was thinking but asked the question anyway.
"Can we search for them? Between missions to save our planet, naturally," she asked. He opened his mouth and quickly closed it. He wasn't sure if it was within their rules and regulations. They weren't sent here specifically for that purpose, however he couldn't think of anything that would prevent it, so long as they completed their missions.
"We can try it until we are shut down. So long as we don't have a mission, which we presently do, I don't see why not," he agreed, as he continued to think about it and what B5 would have to say.
"Thank you!" It gave Kate another reason to love the man she was going to marry. She started to get up till she realized that she was actually naked under the sheets. Looking at Rick, all she saw was skin. "Um babe? How did we end up in bed together?" The last thing she remembered was breaking down in her mother's arms.
The sudden clearing of a throat got them both to look at the doorway. "That would be your mother and I," Jim announced. Hearing hushed voices talking got him up off of his sofa to take a look. "How are you two feeling? Any better?" He didn't move from the doorway.
"I think we're… Wait - YOU KNEW?" Kate turned her head, ready to rain down her wrath on Rick.
"Don't blame Rick too much Katie. Once your mother wants answers, she doesn't stop until she gets them," Jim cautioned her. "Your mother is…" Rick wasn't sure he had a word for Kate's mother. Certainly not just one anyway.
Kate wasn't sure how she felt about her mother knowing she had been raped over and over,ending up pregnant, and subsequently losing the baby.
"Um Dad, can you give us a minute so we can get dressed?" She wasn't showing her dad everything. He might have seen naked when she was little, but that was then, this was now.
"Right. I'll a...go inform your mother that you two are awake," Jim offered and disappeared.
They hadn't even had time to put anything on their feet when Johanna came charging in, not caring who was still showing what, and took Kate in her arms, holding her tight. "Everything will be fine Katie." Johanna didn't let go of her. "Give us a minute please, Rick?"
He found his socks and shoes then closed the bedroom door behind him. "Mom it was…" She was interrupted by Johanna. "Just listen Katie. We didn't tell you because you had no need to know this…" Only to be interrupted by Kate, who couldn't remain silent. "I had a need to know mom. It was my body, my life. I lost a baby." She was still hurting over that. Her head told her that Rick was right, but she still lost a baby.
"And your father and I lost two." Johanna quickly told Kate, who shut up and looked at her mother, surprised. "There's a reason you're an only child Katie. We found out that I was pregnant and we started making plans. I wasn't even out of my first trimester yet when I had searing pain. Your father got me to the hospital, but I had a miscarriage shortly after we got there. We were devastated and our marriage was tested," Johanna explained.
"But you had me," Kate countered.
"We tried again 2 years later after we were in a good place again, but that pregnancy wasn't you either, Katie." Johanna thought she had gotten over all of this too, but talking about deep pain was difficult. "Mom?" Was her mother telling her what she thought? Kate could feel her own tears starting. "It ended in yet another miscarriage at roughly the same time. The pain was terrible. Your father and I decided that children just weren't going to happen for us, so we gave up trying. Then suddenly I was pregnant again and it scared us both to death. I didn't work for almost 8 months. Never left home except for doctor's appointments, practically never left the bed. I did what the doctor told me to do, ate what I was told to. It was hard but we ended up with you. You're our little miracle Katie. We couldn't love you more if we tried."
Kate was wiping away her tears right along with Johanna wiping away her own. "I didn't know, you never told me," she said. Or she didn't remember being told. "You had no reason to know. It didn't affect your life. We had you and we were happy to have you," Johanna said quietly.
"And then I disappeared for 5 years." Kate suddenly couldn't imagine their pain based on the information Johanna had just shared. "Your father and I didn't argue or blame the other, but your disappearance was the closest we've ever come to losing our marriage. I quit my job and nothing your father could do could console me over losing you."
"We came up with all kinds of reasons why you were gone. You hated us and ran away. You met a boyfriend and ran off with him. You met a boyfriend and he took you prisoner. You went with some of your new friends, went swimming and drowned, then they got rid of your body because they were scared. We came up with so many theories, but that's all we had were theories." Johanna sat still on the bed and wiped away her tears.
Kate sat on the bed next to her and wrapped an arm around her. "I'm sorry Katie, I never knew I was transferring my stubborn streak to you. It's my fault that you know about what happened to you. I never realized it would lead to this." Johanna was positive this was all her fault. If she hadn't unknowingly taught Kate to be so stubborn, she wouldn't have forced Rick to talk.
"You didn't steal me mom. You didn't buy me and do what he did to me. He had the baby aborted so he could keep doing what he was doing. Rick and I have talked a little. We both think that even if he hadn't aborted the baby, I would have probably had a miscarriage because of the drugs I was being given to keep me docile. And that even if I had the baby he would have taken it from me."
"I'm not sorry about how you and dad raised me Mom. Granted, I still have gaps in my memory, but I'm not sorry that I am who I am. I'm happy Mom, really happy, and I have a life. A life that looks pretty good." Kate knew she had been repaired and could have children. She was done with school since she had finished high school and had 6 years in college. She smiled as she thought about what had happened in her life. Well, lately anyway. Johanna caught that smile and it raised still more questions in her mind, but she thought better of asking Kate about what that smile meant. She just decided to rejoice that her daughter was feeling better and was back.
"You two up to doing anything today? We don't have to do anything at all if you don't want to," Johanna said hesitantly. "I think we'll be fine mom. Give us a chance to shower and we can talk." Kate was definitely feeling better. Plus doing something might help keep her mind off of it all.
"Meow. Meow." Can I come? And I'm still sorry.
Kate picked up Alexis off the bed, moved her to her lap, and kissed her fur. "I never really thought of you as being a cat person Katie. Not that you ever actually asked for a pet, not even fish. Still I thought you would get a… " Johanna suddenly found Kate's hand over her mouth, silencing her. "You can't say that word Mom. Never, ever say that word," she informed her as Kate used her other hand to point at Alexis. "Seriously?" Johanna had never heard of such a thing. "If you don't want to end up in the emergency room Mom, never say that word."
"Meow?" What word?
Kate glared at Alexis for trying to bait her into saying the word. The next thing Kate knew, Alexis intentionally extended her claws and penetrated Kate's jeans just a little. "Alexis!" She lifted Alexis up out of her lap and felt Alexis hang onto her jeans for a moment. "Be nice or I'll cook your next fish first," she mildly threatened her.
"Meow." You wouldn't!
"Alright Katie, what's with you and the cat?" Johanna couldn't hold back any longer. "What about Alexis?" she countered trying to look innocent, which to Johanna was an instant sign of guilt. "I've watched you and Rick talking to that cat like she understands every word you two say. And more often than not, she answers back. So give Katie." Johanna stared at Kate.
She shrugged her shoulders and made a face. "Rick and I talk to Alexis. Doesn't everyone talk to their… ?" She didn't want to call Alexis a pet. She could only guess what Alexis would do being called that. Maybe even worse than hearing the word "dog."
Fortunately for Kate, Rick and Jim arrived after giving them some time alone. Rick knocked on the door. "All clear?" he asked after opening it without looking in. "You can come in babe." She thanked the gods for the save. She'd thank Rick personally later.
Kate, however, didn't miss the "You've been saved this time Katie. But I have a long memory and I never give up." look that Johanna was giving her.
"How are you doing?" Rick walked over to Kate and kissed her head, noticing that Alexis was in her lap. "I'm fine, you?" She knew he was hurting along with her and didn't miss the "I'm not the one who had a baby taken from me" look that he gave her. Kate caved under that look. "We can talk later. Right now what I need is a shower and I'm starving."
Johanna and Jim left to go to their room so they could do the same, since they had been up half the night watching over them.
She soon found herself with her arms wrapped around him while in the shower. "I'm sorry babe. I pushed and I shouldn't have." She buried her head against his chest. "Alexis was right. It was your history and you had a right to know. …I was just trying to protect you by not telling you," he told her. "So that you could carry the burden alone?" She looked up at him.
"I know the pain of loss already Kate. I also know how to deal with it." Rick left off the word "better" but she heard it anyway. "And it wasn't me that lost anything this time. You had lost a lot already. Maybe someday I would have told you." He wasn't sure about that though.
"Do you actually feel better now that you know?" he questioned, looking down into her eyes.She buried her face back against his chest. No, she didn't feel better for knowing about the baby that she had lost. Maybe she deserved to know, but she could do without the pain of knowing.
And having her mother try and help by adding her own pain onto hers… She didn't yet know if that had helped or not. To know that she might not have been an only child, but maybe if one or another of her potential siblings had actually been born, would she even be there at all? And if she was the third child of a family, would she be still be herself with her current personality?
Kate kissed Rick's chest. "I love you babe," she stated with confidence. "Still interested in getting married?" he questioned. She kissed his chest again. "Hell yes! Now wash me so we can go eat breakfast. I'm starving."
The four of them soon found themselves downstairs looking at the restaurant list again. "Looks like the Purple Parrot is our only breakfast option," Kate pointed out.
Rick - PARROT BREAKFAST, Two eggs, two strips of bacon, two sausage links, biscuit and country gravy.
Kate - BREAKFAST SANDWICH, Scrambled eggs, sausage, Canadian bacon with American cheese on grilled sourdough bread.
Jim - HAM STEAK & EGGS, Grilled bone-in ham steak & two eggs.
Johanna - FRENCH TOAST SANDWICH, Our famous French toast, two eggs, two bacon strips or two sausage links.
Nothing was open that they could get a fresh fish from in the hotel so Rick went back upstairs to feed Alexis her canned salmon sprinkled with some dry cat food. "Sorry Alexis, nothing is open and we don't have anything better at home. You're on your own today til later, so try and avoid the housekeeping staff. We don't want to get thrown out. Unless you would rather spend it at home? You could use the pool," he offered her an incentive.
Jim and Johanna had decided on something to do. "Where's Alexis?" Kate whispered as Rick joined them while they tried to flag down a taxi. "She's playing in the pool," he responded quietly which confused her for a moment. Their hotel didn't have a pool. Then her light bulb lit up. "Home!" She finally caught up.
