Inspired Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.) by Katy Perry

Last Friday Night

Matthew clutched his pounding forehead and sat up with a moan. What happened? Where was he?

The couch he was sitting on was swathed in colourful coats and jackets. His wrist was decorated with dozens of keys wound together into a perverted bracelet. His trousers were missing.

What the fuck?

Someone shifted underneath the coats around his ankles. He emerged from the cocoon with a sigh and sprawled over his legs.

"Some party, huh?"

Matthew blinked. The stranger was pale with a crimson stare. His hair was haphazard and sticking up in all directions. There were streamers and sparkles tangled throughout his tresses.

And it seemed that he was also missing his pants... Matthew swallowed in trepidation. Uh oh.

"Uhm…"

"I mean, really. It was fine until the clown showed up." He started untangling the streamers from his hair with a frown. "Then it just got weird."

"Do I, uh… Do I know you?" Matthew croaked. His voice was rough and deeper than usual.

The stranger pressed his palm over his heart with an exaggerated gasp of surprise.

"Now, Matthew. I thought that last night meant something to you."

"Oh, I, uhm… Oh dear. I…" Matthew raised his hands to cover his blushing cheeks and the keys around his wrist jangled. The stranger knew his name but he could not remember his. How terribly impolite of him! "Excuse me. I, uh, I don't remember… Uh. Your name."

The stranger waved it off with a little smile. He did not seem upset.

"Don't worry about it, kid." He wiggled further up Matthew, wrapping his arms around his waist and resting against his stomach. "You've already more than made up for it… My name is Gilbert."

"Oh dear!"

"Mmm."

Gilbert was covered in a smattering of hickeys and Matthew had to wonder how many of them were his fault.

He turned his face towards the ceiling and tried to calm his instinct to run screaming out of the house. There was a lace brassiere caught in the fan and it kept spinning around and around and around.

"Oh dear, oh dear… I am in so much trouble when I get home. My brother is going to kill me!"

Gilbert stopped nuzzling his stomach and looked up at him. He raised a pointed eyebrow.

"Alfred?"

"How do you know…?"

Gilbert gestured behind Matthew with a chuckle. Matthew turned to see his brother kissing another blonde in the corner. It seemed like Matthew was the last thought on his mind.

"… Oh."

"Mmhmm."

Matthew massaged his temples. He tried to remember what series of events might have led to this ridiculous situation but it was for naught.

"So what the hell happened last night?"

"Well," Gilbert scratched his chin, "We danced on the tables and drank, like, a lot. We went streaking through the park on a dare. Then we went swimming. Naked. That was not a dare though…"

"No..." Matthew gawked at him.

"Uh huh. I kissed you, or maybe you kissed me first, I can't remember… Eh. It doesn't really matter."

Matthew squeaked in embarrassment and tried to escape from underneath Gilbert but he refused to let go.

"And then we came back here. Oh! And Lars came too."

He stopped struggling for a second.

"Lars?"

Someone else shifted under the jackets and raised his hand at the sound of his own name. He crawled up Gilbert with an indolent smile and settled on his shoulder. There was bruise blooming across his cheekbone.

"Hey. Some party, huh?"

"Oh. My. God." His heart was beating too fast against his ribcage but neither Gilbert nor Lars seemed concerned. He could still hear his brother and his date in the corner, kissing and worse.

It was some sort of strange dream. It had to be. It was just too bizarre…

And then a clown walked in and it became even stranger.

"'ave you seen m' keys?" He asked. His face paint was smudged in some places and missing altogether in others. His wig was crooked.

"That depends," Gilbert drawled, "have you seen my pants?"

The clown laughed.

"No, but I'll trade you my keys for a balloon animal."

Gilbert did not even need to think about it.

"Deal. I want a yellow bird." Gilbert snatched his wrist and held it up in the air. "Oh, and Matthew has your keys."

"Ah," the clown found a balloon in a pouch on his belt and blew it up. He twisted it into the shape of a bird and handed it to Gilbert before bending over to find his keys on his wrist. "Thank you."

The clown untied his keys and ruffled Matthew's curls before stomping out. He had lost one of his oversized shoes. Matthew just blinked.

"I don't… I don't understand."

"Don't worry about it," Gilbert said again and patted him on the leg. "Here. I'll even let you borrow my balloon animal. It'll make you feel better."

He handed the yellow balloon to Matthew.

"I…"

"I want a balloon animal too," Lars complained.

"Fuck you," Gilbert snorted.

Lars mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like 'you already did' but Matthew decided to ignore the comment in favour of clutching the balloon like a lifeline.

It had to be a dream. He was curled up with two men in a strange house, his brother was stripping in the corner, and he was almost positive that an iguana had just wandered past the doorframe.

He tightened his grasp on the balloon animal.

"Some party, huh…?" Matthew whispered. There was nothing else to say, really. Gilbert and Lars stopped arguing long enough to beam at him.

"That's the spirit, kid. And just wait until next Friday night!"

"Uh… Next Friday…?"

"Mmhmm."

"… Oh dear."


Author's Notes:

Alright, this bewilderment makes perfect sense if you have ever woken up in a pile of jackets at some stranger's house. If you have not… Well, go out and live a little, eh?

Poor Matthew… I think he'll wander around in a daze for a couple of days after this. Oh, and yes, I think that Matthew would be the person at the party who makes sure that no one drinks and drives by stealing their car keys. It's a rather important job. Don't drink and drive and please party responsibly!

A huge 'thank you' to everyone who has been reviewing this parade of random one shots. Each review brightens my day and makes me smile like an idiot. Seriously. Your reviews are what encourage me to continue writing. And a special 'thank you' to the guest anonymoustache for their kind words. I cannot respond via PM but your review made me so very happy.