I had to write something down
And I found myself alone
And then I let go of everything
Into another dimension
"Dimension" by Wolfmother
Rey is cleaning paintbrushes for Luke in the studio supply room when she hears voices. Her ears prick and she turns off the running water, craning her head a little toward the open door.
She eyes the other dirty brushes, and she really should continue cleaning them instead of eavesdropping, but—
Rey is too curious for her own good. It's a Monday in the middle of July; all the other students have gone home. But not Rey, because she drove herself here. Her sixteenth birthday was three months ago and yet the fact that she can drive herself around without another adult needing to be in the passenger's seat still sends a little thrill up her spine. Sometimes, when no one is around to judge her, she takes her license out of her wallet and admires it. The picture isn't even that bad!
And yet, when she pokes her head around the corner and into the hall, attempting stealth, Luke's expectant face pointed right toward her makes her feel like a little kid.
Standing right behind Luke is Han. Rey straightens as both men regard her, Luke with amusement and Han with curiosity.
"Wow!" Ben's dad looks about the same as he did the last time she saw him, which was a few years ago. "Look who went and grew up on me. Guess I can't call you 'kid' anymore, huh?"
Rey returns Han's smile, pleased that someone in the Solo family has noticed that she is practically an adult now, thanks. "I drive now and everything," she says cockily, wiping her wet hands on a paint stained apron.
"Did Luke teach you?" Han turns and regards Rey's teacher with a raised eyebrow. "Terrible idea. He drives like a goddamn granny."
Luke looks genuinely affronted, but Rey cuts him off before he can really get worked up. "Actually, Ben taught me. And, Maz, a little."
Han stares at her in shock. "Ben? As in my son, Ben?"
Rey nods.
And Han laughs, but Rey catches something sad flicker in his gaze before he hides it away. "Well, remind me to never let your behind the wheel of any of my cars, especially the Falcon."
Half an hour later Rey finds herself sipping coffee with Han and Luke in the kitchen-office. Ben's father regals her with tales of how he and Leia met ("She was protesting with some other college kids outside of the university and I was just trying to score some weed—what? Don't be ridiculous Luke, I'm just telling the kid what happened.") and how he and Luke had become friends ("You tend to bond with the people you're arrested with—I'm not making light out of being arrested. Christ, Luke, you're so stuffy.")
Rey's eyes have gone wide and she peers at Luke with newfound respect. "You've been arrested? How?!"
Han is grinning, clearly about to launch into the story, when Luke says loudly, "That's a tale for another time. It's nearly midnight, Rey. I'm shocked Maz hasn't called and demanded to speak to you."
Rey frowns. "If she does, tell her she would always be up to date with me if she'd let me have a cellphone."
Han is nodding in support, but Luke shakes his head. "That's not my place, Rey." He yawns, and she gets the point.
Rey huffs and scoots her chair back, letting it screech across the floor. "Fine. You're no fun."
"Hasn't been for over thirty years," Han quips, and both men stand in order to walk her outside.
The night air is blessedly cool, the humidity having warn off for the day. It'll be horrible again tomorrow, however, and Rey is already dreading how much she's going to sweat.
As Rey pulls out the keys to Maz's car Han places a hand on her shoulder. She turns, smiling and expecting for him to hug her, but is instead taken aback by his somber expression.
"You still see Ben all the time, don't you." He doesn't ask, because he already knows the answer. Rey nods, suddenly feeling a little wary. She adores Han; some part of her has always envied Ben having a father like him. But if he says anything disparaging about his son in front her she might just deck him. Or, at the very least, she'll get into Maz's car and rudely slam the door in his face.
Han squeezes her shoulder once and then lets his hand fall away. "When you see him next, tell him to give his old man a call, will ya? I haven't spoken to my son in nearly a year and would like to tell him that I…" He trails off, and Rey sees Ben so potently in the way his father runs a hand through his gray hair, in the way he can't seem to get his words out.
"Anyway," Han continues, "just tell him that I miss him and that he really should call. Preferably before I'm dead."
"Yeah," Rey agrees, suddenly feeling quite small and not so grown up. "Will do."
A few days later Rey is perched on the countertop of the bathroom she shares with Rose and two other girls, face alarmingly close to the mirror, black eyeliner in hand. She hadn't really bothered much with makeup until a few months ago. But then Rose had convinced her to wear some eyeliner for the last day of school, and Rey had liked the adult, edgy look it gave her.
And since she's about to spend the entire day with Ben…well…
Rose opens the door and pokes her head in, face lighting up when she sees Rey. "Oh, I love that!"
Rey twists a little to face her. "You don't think it's too thick?"
Rose shakes her head. "Not at all! Besides, that's the look now anyway. And you straightened your hair!"
Rey smiles, shifting a little with pride. This kind of femininity is new and quite fun. Her hair falls nearly to her mid-back, and a few weeks ago she'd let Rose take some scissors to it. She'd added layers and side swept bangs that helped frame Rey's face.
She hops off the counter and waltzes back into their bedroom, changing out of her lounge clothes and pulling on the shortest pair of denim shorts she owns. She would like to wear one of her band t-shirts, but it's too damn hot to really wear anything that's not a tank top. She holds up a few differently styled ones for Rose to approve or deny. They both settle on one that's black and covered with little stars. It just barely hints at cleavage, but nothing too risqué. Rey would rather not risk Maz skinning her alive.
"Did you shave your legs?" Rose asks, and Rey nods. Her best friend tosses her a bottle of body spray and Rey gives herself a generous spritz.
"You look nice," Rose compliments, smiling at Rey knowingly.
Somehow, her best friend had figured it out. And really, Rey isn't entirely sure she would've been able to keep it from Rose for long regardless. One day in February Rose had looked her square in the eye and asked, "You have a crush on Ben, don't you?"
And Rey had only turned bright red, which had been answer enough. She got the feeling that Rose didn't necessarily approve of Ben, but she didn't go out of her way to make Rey feel bad about it either. And she didn't give voice to Rey's intensely growing fear that Ben could never see you that way.
"Well, have fun," Rose says, nose disappearing behind Dracula, their summer reading book. And honestly, Rey has never been more grateful to have her as a best friend.
Ben looks entirely too pleased when he picks her up from the home. And it's not because Rey has worn her shortest pair of shorts, as she immediately and begrudgingly discovers.
Instead of the shitty car he's had since the late 90's, a brand new 2007 silver BMW convertible awaits them.
"You…you got a new car," Rey points out stupidly.
Ben nods eagerly, looking like a little boy on Christmas morning. "I did. Come on, let's go. We can ride with the top down!"
Rey opens the car door, already missing those absurd automatic seat belts. She gets in and shuts the door behind her, buckling herself in and taking in the new car smell. The seats are real leather, the wheel sleek, and if she stares at the stereo long enough she might start drooling.
But a sense of foreboding starts swirling in her belly. "Did your new client buy you this?" She accidentally interrupts Ben with this question; he'd been enthusiastically pointing out the satellite radio the car had come with.
Ben pauses mid-sentence, some of the joy leaving his face. He clears his throat. "So?"
Rey is already pouting, but Ben plunges ahead before she can open her mouth.
"I know you don't like him even though you literally know nothing about him—"
"That's exactly why I don't like him!"
"—but things have been going really well lately, okay?"
Rey crosses her arms over her chest, refusing to be impressed when Ben puts the key into the ignition and turns. The car comes to life underneath her feet with a purr. "You won't even let me see your art anymore!"
Ben sighs in frustration as they pull out of the home's long driveway. "Rey." His voice is strained, but soft. "Come on, not today, okay? I've been looking forward to today."
Rey's lips part, pout leaving her face. For a second she's almost wistful, but then she quickly forces herself to get a grip. "Where are you taking me anyway?"
Ben grins, an it's shit-eating, and one Rey hasn't seen in quite some time. He presses a button and the top starts to lower. He turns up the volume on the stereo and Rey doesn't recognize this band, but the music is blaring and awesome and fun. The wind thoroughly ruins the meticulously straight hairstyle she'd been going for, but Rey finds she doesn't really care. People in other cars watch them as they careen by, and Rey finds herself winking at them and occasionally waving.
There's something that screams home about riding around with Ben Solo in a car. And who cares if this car is brand new and not familiar. It does have satellite radio and working A/C. Who cares if Ben's shady new client bought it for him? No big deal.
But that foreboding doesn't completely leave her belly.
Rey nearly screams in delight when Ben parks outside of a parlor called Psycho Tattoo. "We're getting tattoos?!"
Ben levels her with look, and Rey quickly corrects herself. "You're getting a tattoo?!"
He grins again, and oh does that make her chest feel both light and heavy at the same time. She scrambles out of the car and hurriedly follows him inside, brimming with excitement. She first thing she notices is that the whole place smells like a doctor's office. Everything is meticulously clean, and as Ben speaks to the artist at the counter Rey starts flipping through portfolios. She's always thought she'd look pretty cool with a tattoo, but has no idea what she'd get. In fact…she glances at Ben over her shoulder. She didn't really know tattoos were Ben's thing either.
But frankly, it's not surprising.
She wanders over to stand next to him, noticing that his excitement has melted into nerves. He glances down at her briefly as he speaks to the artist, and she notices the piece of paper that the artist is studying. She recognizes Ben's work. She'd recognize it anywhere. He's drawn out a massive tree, leaves blowing away in invisible wind. The leaves turn into birds.
Ben sits for nearly four hours. The tree spans across his right upper arm and onto his upper chest and collar bone, and Rey eats up this opportunity to stare and take note of every single muscle that curves and flexes under Ben's skin. For artistic purposes, of course. (Yeah, right.)
The tattoo gun continues to buzz as the artist adds on finishing details. Ben winces every once in awhile, but otherwise has given no sign of being in pain. Rey can tell it must hurt, though, because the skin all around the tattoo is an angry red, and the artist pauses every so often to gently wipe off blood.
Once it's finished, the artist rubs the fresh tattoo down with a thick, clear ointment. The two men chat a little as Ben stands in front of a mirror in order to survey the work.
"And what about you, sweetheart?"
It takes Rey a moment to realize that the artist is speaking to her. She blinks at him, slightly confused.
The artist, young but still probably in his thirties, sweeps his eyes over her. "Belly button piercings are popular with chicks your age. You'd look cute, having one to show off when you're in a bikini. Normally I charge forty bucks, but for you I'd do it for thirty." His gaze lingers on her narrow waist.
Rey understands, logically, that he's mostly trying to upsell and make a little extra money. But the way he looks at her makes her skin crawl. She places both hands on her hips and glares, throwing all her irritation and disgust toward this man into a matching scowl.
The artist visibly shrinks back and Rey feels a wave of pride sweep over her. She can be scary, thank you. She turns to Ben, already smirking, but stills when she realizes he's moved away from the mirror and is standing right behind her. He's drawn himself up to his full height and has crossed his thick arms over his chest. The expression in his eyes is freezing, and he looks down his nose at the tattoo artist, corner of his mouth just barely curved into a snarl.
"Just a suggestion." The artist holds his hands up placatingly.
"Yeah, well." Ben's pulls out a wad of cash out of his pocket and—holy shit are those hundred dollar bills?—tosses a few at the tattoo artist. "You can take your suggestion and shove it up your fucking ass. Come on, Rey."
She quickly follows him out of the parlor and into Ben's new car.
Ben is a black cloud of annoyance for the next ten minutes, lips only quirking into an almost smile when Rey starts desperately making silly faces at him.
"Sorry," he finally sighs. "I didn't know that dude was going to be a creep."
Rey shrugs. "It's not big deal. It's not like that's the first time something like that has happened."
Mentioning this proves to be a mistake, as Ben's mood manages to darken even further. And even though Rey would normally get upset over Ben being like this, this time she feels a little bit of thrill.
Ben is still sulky when the pulls up to the BBQ joint they're supposed to be meeting Poe at for dinner. "Sorry," he apologizes again. "That kind of shit just really pisses me off."
"Don't worry about it. When I do get my belly button pierced I'll make sure to go to another parlor."
Ben gives her a look that can only be described as odd. He stares at her for a long moment. "Rey, can I be honest with you about something?"
Her heartbeat spikes. "S-Sure."
He's quiet for a moment, as if weighing his words in his mind. "You're wearing way too much fucking eyeliner." He laughs and laughs at the indignant expression on her face and, really, Rey would rub her whole body in stupid eyeliner if it'd get him to laugh like that again.
It isn't until much later, after she's already gone home for the night, that she realizes she forgot to tell Ben about seeing Han.
A/N:
Ben's tattoo is actually a variation of a tattoo my brother has.
Heavy, heavy stuff coming up my dudes. But at least Ben is moving in the direction of being the hot, tattooed guy he was always meant to become in this story. So there's that?
If you liked, let me know?
