Phil woke up with a start to the sensation of water with an arctic temperature hitting his skin. He shivered violently and twisted around to turn the shower head off. He dragged himself out of the stall and got to his feet unsteadily before making his way to where the towels were stored. They were sorted according to their size and color. Phil grabbed a large green towel from the piles and wrapped it around his waist before inspecting his face in the mirror. He looked even more exhausted than usual, and couldn't exactly remember why.

Then it hit him, hard.

He gripped onto the sink and started gasping for air once he remembered what The Rock had done to him, how he had publically humiliated him in front of thousands of people. He looked down at his wrist and saw a fresh wound marked into his skin.

"Fuck," he hissed, "all that fucking rehab for nothing. I'm such a waste of a human being."

He let go of the sink and started walking unsteadily back to the shower stall where his bag sat right outside of. Once he had it in his hands, he grabbed some clothes and quickly changed. He couldn't find his damn sweatshirt, though. Then he remembered he had left it in the locker room.

"Dammit," he grunted. He slung his bag around his shoulder and made his way to the locker room. He kept his arms crossed so the cut on his wrist wasn't visible. His heart sank when he entered the locker room and found Dolph gathering his things together. Phil avoided eye contact and tried to be as quiet as possible, but Dolph still noticed him.

"Hey, Phil," Dolph said a little uneasily. He was clearly still terrified of what John might do to him if he found him trying to talk to the tattooed superstar. "How are you doing?"

"Fine," Phil muttered, looking around for his sweatshirt. He refused to make eye contact with the Show Off.

"Look, I'm really sorry about how much of an ass I was to you," Dolph began. He was suddenly standing right in front of Phil. "I realize now that I was ridiculous. I really hope you'll forgive me."

"Go to hell," he spit in Dolph's face. Dolph grabbed Phil's hands, much to his protest, and found his eyes widening once he noticed the dried blood and the fresh wound on his wrist.

"I-I thought you were getting help for this," Dolph whispered. "I thought you were all better."

"I'm fine," Phil snapped. "I just had one slip up. It's not going to happen again."

Still, Dolph held onto Phil's hands. Phil finally relented and looked into Dolph's eyes. When he did and saw the concern swimming in the other man's eyes, he broke down and started to cry. Dolph pulled him in to his chest.

"Shh, Phil, it's okay," he whispered, stroking Phil's head. "You're going to be alright, Philly. We're going to go find Chris, and he'll make you all better."

Phil suddenly pulled himself back and looked at Dolph with wide eyes. "No, Dolph, please! You can't tell Chris, Dolph; he's so proud of me for beating this illness. You can't make him disappointed in me. Please don't tell him, please."

Phil Brooks wasn't a man to beg, nor make his private problems public. When Dolph heard Phil crying and begging not to tell Chris, he knew he couldn't, even if it went against his better judgment. So instead he pulled Phil in for another soothing hug and promised he would not tell Chris a thing, so long as he kept him updated on how he was doing. With nothing else to do, Phil had to agree.


Phil looked around the room warily, afraid that someone would materialize out of the shadows and find out the terrible secret that he had concealed underneath his GTS hoodie. He walked out of the elevator with a calm, collected stride, trying to make it seem as if nothing was wrong. Not that there was anyone around to see, either way. Biting down on the inside of his mouth, he stuffed his hand into the pocket of his sweatshirt and grabbed the hotel key. He swiped it once, waited for the light to turn green, and then entered inside.

Chris was already knocked out on the bed, which Phil was thankful for. He didn't know what he would do if Chris saw him like this. He was so proud of him and… he didn't even want to think about it. Immediately, he made a beeline for the bathroom. As soon as the door was closed and locked behind him, he took off the hoodie and tossed it in the direction of the shower. Next came the shirt. Finally, he took a washcloth and wet it with cold water. He would need to clean up the mess if he wanted to sell himself as stable.

Gently, he scrubbed at the bloody area. He had to be careful not to reopen the wound because they didn't have any medical supplies, and Chris would definitely be able to tell that something was wrong if he woke up and found that the bed was soaked with blood. Once the area around the actual wound was clean, he took a finger-full of hand sanitizer and dabbed it in. It hurt like a bitch, but he didn't need an infection and they didn't have any medical disinfectant. This was the next best thing. And maybe it was a little bit of a punishment too.

He couldn't believe that he had allowed himself to be so weak. Chris loved him, Chris believed in him, and instead of showing him how much he could thrive under that love and affection, he had turned around and allowed himself to relapse. Since when had a title meant life or death? He could still remember the feeling of losing his baby, still remember the hazy delusion he had been in when the title was his baby, but he couldn't remember when he had first made that decision to hurt himself. He could only hope that Dolph would keep his mouth shut.

Once the pain subsided, he dressed in his pajamas and went back into the bedroom. He slid into bed beside Chris, making sure to keep his still throbbing arm out of Chris' line-of-sight. Chris moaned, rolling over and taking him into his arms, "Mmm, g'night baby."

Phil sniffled, thinking of the gigantic lie that he was keeping from Chris. Could they survive any more lies? "Goodnight, Chris."

"I love you, Philly." He said. Even mostly asleep, his words were coherent and they rang true.

Phil almost couldn't say it, but in the end, forced it out. "I love you too, Chris. I love you too."