Notes 1

Guest: Ok that was brilliant also 99 cent dream and these are my favourite fanfics. Also you shouldn't be so hard on yourself and if ppl prefer the stories you chuck together then they obviously don't know how amazing the stories you love are!

Me: It's difficult for me because I write things most people don't like. I'm talking pure angst with no happy endings. I live for that shit. I like the sadness, I know the fic is depressing, that's the point, but some people don't get it. The 'angst' and 'tragedy' tags fly over their heads! I'm looking at these internet cowards and their displeasure and thinking, 'God gave you eyes, please use them and spare your time from reading something that will make you miserable.'

But, recently, I'm trying to be less serious with the power of memes lol.

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the sleepless elite

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chapter twenty-nine

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Darling has hyped herself to have that talk. It's her birthday and she isn't exactly ready, per se, but she is determined to have this excruciating conversation. That is, until he texted her and all her plans flew out the window.

Math manic Ace Spades had texted her out of the blue, dropped a bomb on her and now Darling's rushing. Now Darling's scrambling and running around like a crazy lady, all mad and no poise. She's texting Ace back; with her fingers flying and trembling over the keyboard, asking when he'll be at the Charming estate to pick her up. She needs him in her driveway with his ridiculous beat-up car before she chickens out, she certainly can't drive by herself, she's too all-over-the-place.

Darling feels a rock has settled in her gut. She's so nervous that she thinks she might puke. She really really really needs a friend.

She's pacing, far from ready but waiting eagerly at the front door. Darling would run to her destination if she has to. But she's stopped, frozen by a single person; someone she doesn't want to talk to.

"My darling, why aren't you at work?"

Darling's feet stay still. She pauses then turns and stares. "Mother ..."

"Why aren't you at work?"

'It's my birthday,' Darling wants to say but doesn't. She can't. Her mouth is clamped shut. She doesn't answer.

This is not the time. She thinks.

Unfortunately, Darling can do nothing as her mother crosses the hall and closes the gap between them. Mrs Charming looks hauntingly elegant; with her dress sweeping behind her like a cape; dainty hands clasped together all composed; chin tipped all regal-like.

"Are you sick?" Mrs Charming asks, face expressing concern. The older woman steps forward, touching her daughter's forehead.

Darling resists the urge shudder out a shaky breath. Her phone beeps in her hands, probably a text from Ace stating how he's 'OTW to pick her up'. Hopefully, he's not stuck in traffic. Darling finds her blue eyes flitting out the window. She wants to be out there. Not in here. She wants to go –

Her chin is yanked back, like her thoughts, "My darling, I asked you a question."

"N – No, I'm perfectly fine, Mother." Darling finds herself saying lamely. The ruse would have worked if she hadn't flinched at the use of 'perfect'. "I just ... I have to go somewhere."

"Where?" Mrs Charming prods. Even for a woman her age, she ages well, like fine wine. She still looks proud (and terrifying) as she did in her youth.

"Out." Darling squeaks. She was nervous before and she's even nervous now. There's no way of concealing it.

Mrs Charming squints her blue eyes at her daughter and Darling cannot look away, only helplessly stares back like a deer in the headlights. Has she been caught red-handed?

Up until now, Darling never knew whose eye colour she inherited since both her parents possessed blue eyes. It's easy to see that Daring inherited their father's eyes since both are so bright. And Dexter looks so much like their mother but acts like their father. Darling knows that her eyes are a few shades lighter so ... she guesses her eyes are the same shade as her mother's. Looking at Mrs Charming in the eyes, Darling feels unnerved, like she's staring at a reflection of herself. She wonders if any of her siblings think so too?

"You're not going to see Daring, are you?" Her mother asks, a new fury in her voice. Oh boy. To think, that's how angry Darling looks, the exact same glare as her mother.

Air whooshes out of Darling's lungs. No. No, she's not. But the question still feels scary. "I'm going to see a friend."

"You're not lying to me, are you?" The older woman questions though it sounds like 'You're not running away, are you?'

Shit.

"Mother, please –" I don't have time. "– you need to stop worrying about me." All of the Charming siblings, actually. "I'm fine." Darling repeats.

Her mother never takes her hand off her daughter's face. Always touching, always holding. Darling almost wants to shrink away. She feels twelve again and punished for liking plastic swords and monster trucks over sleepovers and Barbie dolls.

"No, you're not fine." Mrs Charming decides. Well, she's not wrong. A mother's intuition.

Darling's heart starts beating out of her chest, thundering in her ears and making her palms sweat. She really wanted to just book it. Run. But then another text sounds and something snaps within her. There was a switch. A sudden need to fight.

Until Darling's smacked by words she never thought she'd ever hear.

Mrs Charming utters, "You're not fine and neither am I."

What?

Mrs Charming inhales sharply, let's go of Darling's lovely face then tucks away her brown greying hair. She holds herself high and asks, "Have you ever stopped and asked how I felt?"

"Mother?" Darling pauses.

No.

No, she's never done that before.

And Darling voices that, "I've never … No. I'm – I'm sorry." Should she be?

She looks into her mother's eyes and for the first time sees a tired middle-aged woman who just wants to retire. Maybe it's the feeling of sympathy for her mother or maybe Darling's just growing to understand people (like Apple and Chase and herself) but Darling thinks, she sees a hard woman who has tasked herself with building a family.

And not just any family, a successful family, a stable family.

Mrs Charming wants perfection; wants her children to work stable jobs, wants the Charming family business to thrive and wants everyone living near-by just in case anything happens. It's selfish but that's her life goal as a mother. Daring's already a disgrace in her eyes. Meanwhile, Dexter was never the first choice, but he was living up to Mrs Charming's high standards of being 'successful'. And Darling …

Darling didn't fit in anyplace. She was in the middle. Darling who is still wild and adventurous. Yet, to have her 'settle down' back at Book End and 'working' for the family business must have been a huge relief to Mrs Charming.

"Everything's going to be okay, Mother." Darling insists.

However.

However, just because Daring's move away before marriage, just because he's working somewhere other than Charming Co., it doesn't mean all is lost. It doesn't mean Darling will 'succumb' to the same faith. Because it's not so bad. Because Daring is happy.

And Mrs Charming mustn't think her role and effort as a mother is wasted. What her mother doesn't understand is –

"Will it?" Her mother asks. "With this sort of behaviour, will things be okay?"

"I'm really sorry for your hardship, Mother, but, please, stop this."

What her mother doesn't understand is that neither she nor Daring are disappointments just because they don't follow these cookie-cutter rules. Both blondes are successful as they are; they know what attainable jobs they like; they have a roof over their heads and they have people they care about.

Mrs Charming's mouth falls open but she says nothing.

"You're tired, Mother." Darling says with a hand on the older woman's shoulder. "You're tired of worrying. You're tired of insisting and harping your way."

"I am."

"You just want everything to stop and settle."

"I do." Mrs Charming whispers softly and Darling watches her mother's mask break.

She knows that feeling. Darling knows her mother is tired (so is she). She knows her mother just wants to get her children in check so that she can finally rest but it's not that easy! Motherhood is a job that is never-ending. And plans never work out.

Darling can't be like Dexter or Maddie, Briar or Rosabella, Apple even. She can't follow in their footsteps and work at a family business. But that doesn't mean she doesn't love her family for not following that dream job.

Darling just wants to be herself. Something that took her years to find. She's finally found herself, damn it! And she'd rather fight tooth and nail than lose herself again.

"You can relax now. You don't have to work so hard." Darling says further. There's this sea of emotion. She doesn't even know how the conversation started. It feels like it's coming to a close though.

Then her blue phone starts buzzing. It's a phone call. It's Ace. He's here.

Darling ignore the call and finds herself saying aloud, "I want to see him, Mother, so badly, and you can't stop me." It's so cliché but she means every damn word.

"Who?"

No time for introductions! "Someone special!" Darling calls, one foot already out the door. And before she completely leaves the premises, she shouts, "Also, I'm quitting Charming Co. Today. As of now." May as well just throw that in there.

"W – What?"

"I have to go!" Darling says, leaving her mother's shocked face.

"Darling?!" Her mother calls after her, hiking her dress and standing by the grand door all tragically. Translation: What's going on?

"I'll be back, um, I think? I – I dunno!" She did not think this through!

"My darling?!" There's no way that Mrs Charming will run after her daughter. A lady does not run.

Darling stops, only to turn back to the silhouette of her mother. But only because there's still no sight of Ace's stupid old car. Where the hell is he?

"I'll talk to you tonight!" Darling hollers.

It's not to say Darling now trusts her mother, that may take a while, maybe even a few years, but Darling will get there. Darling's an adrenaline junky, but she can take things slow.

"I want to talk, get everything sorted, but you have to listen, okay?!" Darling promises.

"I don't understand!"

"I have to go now!" Darling says, feeling herself become the white rabbit, hurrying against time. She still has to compose herself and tell Chase what's on her mind. She hopes she can do just that before Ace comes because if he sees her in this state, he'll make fun of her for sure.

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Darling only has a few minutes at best before that Math nerd arrives.

Blue nails click and fingers clutch onto her phone with uncertainty. Chase is on a plane back to Book End as we speak and Darling has to leave him a voice message now, before that hunk of metal lands and before she becomes a flustered mess. According to all those voice mails they've left for each other, there's still evidence of love and their spark isn't lost.

It'll be embarrassing to say all her thoughts and feelings while standing out in the open like this, Darling would rather hide somewhere in her own private corner, but ... she thinks, it's time she finally stops running away.

Romance movies never explained to her how big declarations are delivered so smoothly. She thinks she has an idea but that's not her. She's a Charming but she's also human. And right now, all Darling wants to do is sit down with Chase and talk like old times.

"Can you answer the phone? I need to talk to someone. No, not someone. Not just anyone. You." She declares in a new voice mail and she knows he's not that dumb to not get the hidden message behind her words. "I need to talk to you. Please call me back."

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Notes 2: I split the chapters up again lol. Why do I do this to myself?

11 January 20biteen