Hello, lovely readers.
Hope you are all well. Our couple are gonna be making some progress in this chapter you'll all be glad to know. This will be the calm before the storm, I think!
Debwood-1999 – It is unfair and she will be choosing how to go about Randy in this chapter.
Raquel the writer – Thank you
Tantoune – They're the biggest alphas. We get some Dean and Holly progression here so I think you'll like it
Guest – She has. It's taken them long enough!
Marina – I too love a slow burn. They're the best kind of stories because when the couple get together the pay off is so good. Glad you're enjoying the story.
Dutchangel1979 – Yes! It's finally been figured out. You will see her talk with Dean now
Rileyjade – She wants him for sure. We will see Dean's reaction this chapter
Lola – We all know this story can never run smoothly lol. Drama is bound to ensue. I have a few things planned so you will have to keep reading in order to find out.
DeeMarie426 – She needs to be fair and honest with Randy. She's knows she's left it too long so now things are happening with Dean, she needs to open up to Randy.
Calwitch – That's okay! Glad you liked the updates. A few of your points will be answered this chapter and a few you will have to wait for. I won't say which but you know the drama is never too far away.
Beautifultragedyxxx – I love writing chapters like it. They tend to write themselves because she literally spewing her thoughts and feelings. Plus it makes her more three dimensional and relatable.
Abitoflightreading – Welcome to the story! I see my Dean as a more exaggerated version of what's on TV. He's Dean Ambrose without the PG rating lol
LadyShadows410 - There are a tonne of emotions flying around but Holly has a lot to deal with. She will be speaking to Randy soon. Don't you worry
This chapter is named after 'Choices' by The Hoosiers
Holly Helmsley's Point Of View
The boys were away at the gym the next morning, so I found myself alone in the hotel room once I woke up. I wasn't sure if they were away for genuine reasons like training or if it was to keep a distance until they were ready to see me, but either way I was by myself in the hotel room with a lot on my mind to consider.
I entered the living area of the room and prepared myself a coffee, switching on the TV and settling on the sofa to drink it. I wasn't sure what programme was on, I wasn't really paying attention. It was there simply for background noise whilst my head considered my options going forward.
I liked Dean and I wanted to try something with him. That much I knew, my dreams fully confirming that for me last night. But I needed to know Dean's side of the story, I needed to know where he stood on the situation. A kiss was something that is easily passable and can be moved on from. But I knew that wasn't so in this situation. It meant something big to us, so I needed to know which direction he wanted to go from here.
Did he want to be with me? Or would this be too much for him and something he'd want to forget?
I sipped on my coffee.
I hoped it was the former, I hoped he wanted something to come from this, because the idea of nothing happening between us wasn't one I wanted to consider. Even the thought hurt me right in the pit of my stomach. It wasn't an option for me so I hoped it wouldn't be one for him either.
I knew Hunter would hit the roof if he did know however, so I had to consider how many people would be informed of us if anything did happen. I had to think of those I could trust and who wouldn't blab to my big brother. Hunter was protective enough at the best of times, but if he knew I was romantically involved with a lunatic, a violent man, and someone who is highly unstable, he would kill me.
It was vile, but it was something that would have to remain quiet. I knew we could tell Roman and Seth, and I knew Sasha and Paige wouldn't utter a word – this had been proven by them keeping my location quiet over the last three days. But that was it really. I couldn't tell my brother, I couldn't tell Stephanie, and I couldn't tell Randy.
Ah… Randy…
I sighed as I took another sip of coffee. Randy would be a problem, a major problem. Not only did he still think he had a chance with me, but I was about to choose his arch-enemy over him instead.
Jeez… I sound like a total bitch…
I felt awful, I really did. I'd made a massive mistake by keeping quiet in the first place and not letting him down gently when he first admitted his feelings. But now I was stabbing the knife in deeply and twisting it harshly by picking Dean over him. I hoped he wouldn't hate me. I hoped he'd understand that the heart wants what it wants and that we could still be friends.
I loved him so much and he was my best friend. I dreaded to think of a world where Randy wasn't in it.
Guilt hit me again.
I wished I'd been honest and truthful from the start. I wished I'd been straightforward, candid and just admitted that I didn't see him that way. I'd avoided saying anything in order to avoid hurting him. But by letting it linger and building up his hopes, I'd done that anyway.
Randy was going to get hurt and now it was going to be more painful than it originally would have been. I groaned, hating myself, hating what I was putting him through.
Yeah… I'm definitely a bitch…
I finished my coffee and spotted a laptop on the coffee table, knowing I needed to speak to the girls about this. They already knew about the situation with Randy, but I needed to update them on the events of last night and I needed to seek their advice. My head was totally scrambled right now and I needed their help.
So I switched on the laptop, logged into Skype and tried to call them for a group chat. I hoped they weren't still asleep or hangover as I needed a real girly chat with them. Thankfully both were awake and well, their faces popping up on the screen as the video chat began.
"Oh my god, there you are!" said Paige, a look of relief on her face. "Where the fuck did you disappear to last night? One minute you were there and then you were gone."
"Did you get home alright?" asked Sasha, a look of concern on her face.
"Yeah… The Shield boys kind of tracked me down," I said awkwardly.
"Shit," said Paige, knowing I'd finally been discovered. "We should have known that would happen eventually, especially being at such a public party like that."
"They spoke to me and brought me home," I explained. "They were pretty pissed."
"I can't blame them," said Sasha honestly. "You did kind of bail on them for three days with no word."
"I know," I said sadly. "And I really need to make it up to them."
"Was Dean alright?" asked Sasha. Both girls knew Dean and I had a close friendship, so I couldn't blame them for heading straight for what happened with him.
A light blush tinged my cheeks. "Erm… Dean is kinda what I wanted to talk to you about…" My voice trailed off.
Both girls looked confused.
"Why?" asked Paige. "What's he done? What's he said? Do you need me to come round and beat the shit out of him?"
I laughed lightly at my protective friend. "I don't think we need flying fists to solve this one."
"What's happened?" asked Sasha.
"Well…" I began nervously. "Dean sorta found me last night. We spoke, we kind of argued, and next thing I knew we were… kissing…"
"WHAT?!" they both exclaimed in unison, shocked smiles on their faces.
"Are you serious?" asked Paige excitedly.
"Yeah…" I said, covering my face embarrassed.
"Holly, this is major news!" Sasha said.
"Was he a good kisser?" asked Paige, getting down to the nitty gritty details. "Tongues?"
I removed my hands from my face. "It was… amazing. Best kiss of my life actually."
"Damn girl," laughed Sasha.
"So what does this mean?" Paige asked. "What happens going forward? Do like him?"
"I like him a lot," I admitted. "We still haven't spoken about it yet, but I really want something to happen."
And then Sasha mentioned the one problem in my dilemma, the one topic I really needed their advice on.
"What about Randy?" she asked. "Have you spoken to him?"
I sighed sadly. "Not yet. But I need too. There's clearly nothing going on with us and now there never can be."
"Girl, you need to tell him," said Paige. "You need to let him down gently."
"I know," he said, awkwardly playing with my hair. "He's gonna be so hurt though…"
"That's unavoidable, but he deserves to know you can't be with him," said Sasha softly. "He's your best friend and you owe him the truth."
"But how do I explain that I want to be with Dean?" I asked them desperately.
"Maybe you don't mention Dean," suggested Paige. "I know it's harsh and cruel to say, but it's none of his business who you decide to be with, same as its not my business or Kane's business or fucking Heath Slater's business! Your relationship is your choice regardless of what others say. You don't have to mention Dean, but you need to tell Randy you can't be with him."
I let out a deep breath. "You're right," I said. "It's just going to kill be to do."
"You have to be brave, Holly," said Sasha. "The longer you leave it, the worse it's gonna be."
"That's true…"
"And can I make a suggestion?" Sasha added.
"Of course," I said. "I'm willing to take any suggestions or advice you girls have."
"Don't do anything with Dean until Randy knows the truth," she said. "He deserves to know how you feel before you move on with someone else."
Sasha was right. I definitely owed Randy that. He'd been such a massive part of my life and he meant everything to me. I wanted to be with Dean and I wanted to talk to him. But if we decided to go forward with a relationship, nothing could happen between us until I'd sorted things with Randy.
It's what he deserved.
"You're right," I said. "I'll do that."
"Good girl," smiled Paige. "Now, I have a gym session booked so I'll have to dash. But let me know how you get on."
I smiled. "Will do. Thanks for talking to me, guys."
"Anytime," grinned Sasha. "And you know where we both are if you need to talk more."
"I sure do," I replied. "Love you, girls."
"Love you too," they both replied before the call ended and their faces disappeared from the screen. I slowly closed the laptop, my decision made. I needed to talk to Dean and I would as soon as he was back from the gym.
But no matter what happened between us, whether we ended up together or not, I had to speak to Randy and I had to end this lingering hope he had for us. It was cruel to keep him hanging on.
So I put the laptop back on the table and stood up to get another coffee.
xXx
It was mid-afternoon when the guys came home from the gym. I stood up from my seat the second they walked into the room, eager to talk to them and clear the air. I smoothed my top down, looking at them hopefully as they entered the room one by one. They placed their gym bags down on the floor.
"Are you guys free for a moment?" I asked them, my voice full of optimism.
They all looked at each other before looking at me, Roman finally giving me a warm smile. "Course we are, baby girl."
I let out a breath of relief, the tension leaving my shoulders as we all took seats on the sofa. I had finally gotten them to talk to me, so I needed to make the best of this chance. As soon as we were all seated, I spoke.
"First of all, I just want to apologise," I began. "I know the worry and stress I've put you three under over the last few days, and I wanna say I'm sorry from the bottom of my heart for doing that. I wasn't being malicious and I didn't set out to hurt you guys."
"Then why did you do it?" asked Seth.
"Because of what was happening without my say so," I said. "I was tired of the arguments and the fighting and the petty bickering. So I wanted to take myself out of the situation and give myself some breathing space until every calmed down and realised how stupid they were being. At the time I thought I was doing the right thing, but now I know I did wrong and I'm so sorry for that."
They all looked at each other before looking at me again. Their faces didn't seem angry or mad or upset. They seemed understanding and soft and calm.
"Do you promise it won't happen again?" Roman asked, a small smirk appearing on his lips.
I shook my head. "Believe me, I won't be doing anything so stupid for the rest of my life."
And then all three smiled, each of them standing up and hugging me one by one.
"Then apology accepted," said Seth as he hugged me.
"Just make sure it doesn't happen again," said Dean.
"Because it was a rough 72 hours," finished Roman.
"It'll never happen again," I promised them. "I swear.
"Good," said Seth. "Now that's cleared up, I need a shower after that gym session so I'm gonna head over to the bathroom."
I watched as Seth headed to the main bathroom whilst Roman headed to the en suite to clean up as Dean went to his bedroom.
I watched him go, biting my lip nervously, knowing now was as good as ever to have the private conversation we blatantly needed to have. He was still in a positive and forgiving mood, so now was the best time. He would be optimistic and kind, the best chance I had of convincing him to go forward with whatever was happening between us.
So I cautiously approached his door and gently knocked, my mouth dry, my hands clammy.
"Come in…" I heard him say from the other side. So I opened the door, stepped inside and closed it behind me.
He was standing by his bed, sorting through his gym bag. I stared at him, my eyes running up and down his body. He was in his gym shorts but that was it.
He stood there.
Shirtless.
Jesus Christ…
I physically gulped as he looked up at me.
This wasn't helping.
"L-Listen, I think we-"
I was instantly cut off as he approached me, pushing me up against the door behind me and attaching his lips to mine in a heated kiss that was not only toe-curling, but made my stomach flip so many times it thought it was in the Olympics.
I sighed against his lips, returning the kiss with as much fervor and passion as I could muster, my arms slipping around his neck as his hands gripped my hips tightly. He pulled me flush against him, my body able to feel every curve, crease and muscle his body had. The whole thing was made worse by his half dressed state, my body wanting to jump him instantly. He tasted fucking amazing.
But then I quickly remembered why I was there. I remembered the promise I made to myself, to Randy, and I knew I had to put a stop to what was happening so we could talk.
I hated myself for it, but I reluctantly pressed my hands against his hot and hard chest and somehow managed to push him away. Our lips broke and he looked at me, his eyes a mixture of hurt and confusion.
"W-We need to talk first, Dean," I said, fighting to catch my breath again. "Please."
"Uh, yeah," he said, his chest heaving, his hands on his hips. "Of course. You're right. We should talk."
We slowly walked over to his bed and sat down. I was thankful when he reached for a clean t-shirt and slipped it on.
A silence filled the air between us, the both of us suddenly turning into embarrassed school kids. We couldn't look at each other, my cheeks flushed as Dean played with a piece of loose cotton on the hem of his shirt. So I took the big leap and spoke first.
"I think we need to discuss exactly what happened last night," I said.
"It's a good place to start," he said.
I bit my lip, watching him closely and carefully. "Did… did you mean what happened? Or were you… caught up in a moment."
He chuckled to himself before he finally looked up at me. "After everything me and you have been through, you can't doubt my intentions, kid."
"What are your intentions?" I asked curiously.
"Well you saw what I did last night, and you saw what I did just now when you walked in my room," he said. "I think my intentions are pretty clear."
I looked down, my cheeks flushed a bright red at his words. Yeah, they were very very clear.
I suddenly felt his hand underneath my chin as it lifted my head to look him in the eye.
"I suppose I should ask the same question to you," he continued. "Did you mean what happened or were you caught up in the moment?"
"I meant it all," I said without hesitation, my brown eyes looking into his blue ones. "I wouldn't have let you do it if I didn't mean it."
His grin was so wide I was surprised it could fit on his face. "Good to know… very good to know."
It still felt so fresh and new and slightly awkward, so I shuffled closer to him on the bed until our legs were touching.
"So… where does this leave us exactly?" I asked him.
"I think it leaves us in quite a nice little position actually," he said.
"And what's that?" I asked.
"You like me, and I very much like you, Holly Heather Helmsley," he said. "I like you a lot, I have for a while, and I want to explore what we could be together. I can't say I'm good at this shit, because I've never been able to hold down a fucking relationship in my life. But you make me wanna try. I wanna be able to make you smile, make you laugh, and keep you from harm. You're fragile, so I wanna protect you, care for you, treat you like the fucking queen you are. I hope you'll let me try to do just that."
My heart swelled with hope, adoration and excitement, my smile tattooed to my lips.
"Considering you're not very good at this, you know the right words to say to convince a girl to like you," I said in amusement.
"I'm not totally uneducated it the ways of wooing a lady," he said, his face pushing forward, the atmosphere changing, my eyes fluttering closed as he softly ran his nose along my jawline. "And you are one that I definitely want to woo."
His nose ran up to my own, brushing against it before moving to the other side of my face, running along my jaw again.
I swallowed. Hard.
"I'd like that," I whispered, my heart thumping in my chest, my hands trembling with both nerves and anticipation.
He placed a soft kiss on my neck before I felt him smirk against my skin.
"I can feel your pulse, Holly," he said. "It's racing, you need to calm down."
"Easier said than done," I replied, tilting my head to give him more access.
It wasn't until I felt his lips on my neck again that I quickly snapped out of whatever trance I was in and pulled away.
"What's wrong?" he quickly asked me, his eyebrows furrowed.
"I want to do this," I said. "I want there to be an 'us', I really do. But before anything can happen, I need to set things straight with Randy."
He looked at me for a few moments before realisation sunk in. "Is this over the time he kissed you?"
I nodded sadly. "Randy still thinks there's… hope for us. And whilst he still thinks like that, it wouldn't be right for me to do anything in the meantime. I need to talk to him, let him down gently and clear all this up. I hope you can understand that."
He ran a hand through his hair before he nodded, taking one of my hands in his. "Yeah, I can get that."
"He's my best friend," I said. "I owe him the truth."
He continued to nod, rubbing circles in the palm of my hand.
"When do you plan to talk?" he asked.
"Before Raw tomorrow," I explained. "I'll speak to him then."
He looked at me then, his usual cheeky smile on his face. "I can wait," he said. "You're worth waiting for." He winked.
I blushed a bright red, my eyes quickly looking down. "T-Thanks."
He lifted my head again, his mouth by my ear.
"But you seriously need to stop blushing in the meantime. Because you have no idea what that shit does to me."
I looked at him. "It… affects you?"
"Like you wouldn't believe," he replied. This didn't help and caused me to blush more, a low growl erupting from his chest. "Holly, I'm fucking serious. You need to stop or I'm gonna have you right now whether you've told Randy or not."
So I calmed down. I tried my hardest to push the blush away, knowing it wasn't helping the situation.
But at least the situation was a good one. I wanted Dean and Dean wanted me. Something was going to happen going forward. Whether it would work or not, only time would tell. But I was going to fucking try.
One obstacle was down and I knew the next one would be approaching soon.
Raw was going to be an interesting one…
Again, a huge thanks to Debwood-1999, Raquel the writer, Tantoune, Marina, dutchangel1979, rileyjade, Lola, DeeMarie426, calwitch, beautifultragedyxxx, abitoflightreading, LadyShadows410 and my guest reviewer for their words about the last chapter.
