Decisions one must make

The night Natsu had made his declaration to Gray had begun to filter his mind with the thoughts or words Gray would be saying right now. He usually wouldn't care what the popcile had to say to him or what he had in mind about him. But this, this was something he needed to know so he could be true to himself once more.

Natsu stretched, Yawning as the sunlight pierced the curtains shedding brightness into the room. He had been getting used to the feeling of waking up by himself without the comfort of his blue little exceed under his arm and the girl he once loved lying her head on his arm. Its not that he didn't miss the feeling Lisanna and Happy gave him, its just, he didn't want to lie about this love anymore. He didn't want to be guarded around by things he didn't truly care about as much as his heart did. He loved gray, Infatuated over him. But deep down this love he has for him could also hurt the members of his family too.

His eyes squinted, trying to peer his head over towards lokes bed to see if he was still fast asleep. He wasn't there. In fact, all his belongings including natsu's weren't there.

Where did he go?...

Natsu shot up, grabbing his maffuler and tying it around his neck before leaning up. He was curious on what made Loke wake up so early today. usually, loke would be fast sleep hugging his pillow tightly around his arms and near his crotch whispering and moaning lucy's name to it. It was funny to see him like that all the time, But it was more scary to see him so determined in mission especially trying to find gray. But who wouldn't be? He was someone you couldn't help but just love to be around more.

He shook his head, The time for thinking was later as he walked towards the door, closing it for the last time behind him.

Everyone had crowded. The rescue team from fairy tail were already assembled at the gate with the look of concern on everyone's faces. He didn't know how to react. Everyone from galuna island all huddled around like they were saying goodbye to them ready for departure. Its not like they were going to stay for long to be honest, But being here did give him some time to clear his relationship view over everything.

"Natsu."

He looked back, the old master was there, The islanders all huddled around him with depressed faces still thankful for their help with the deliroa mission.

Natsu walked over to him, a little anxious as he stood his firm ground holding the corner of his shirt. "yes?"

It was silence, the sound of his feet scraping along the ground as he moved closer to him, patting his shoulder giving him a warmly smile. "Take care my boy, Remember, a day without fighting is a day with grieving. A day without happiness is a day without love. The day you chose is the day you must go through." He took his hand away from Natsu's shoulder, slowly placing it back on his cane giving natsu a nod.

Natsu didn't know what the words meant. His head kept repeating it over and over hopefully his conscious would answer for him. But no luck, all he knew was that something like this couldn't have just come up without some sort of explanation.

Natsu returned the smile giving a wave to everyone before heading back to their direction. It was dull, serious yet somehow cold he arrived amongst them all. Lucy was keeping herself close to loke looking down along with erza and juvia, and loke was looking straight at natsu trying to give a convincing look but was caught out by his lip bite.

Whats going on with them today?...

Natsu shrugged it off, looking towards his small bag as he picked it up, swinging it over his shoulder. "So, were to now? I know i didn't get up early and im sorry its just ive been so worried lately i just couldn-"

"Natsu."

He stopped. Loke was looking at him straight dead in the eye with everyone around him looking away. He was beginning to feel small and clueless to what was going on. He wanted to know, he had to know.

Why was everybody so serious like this?

He gulped, chugging back the clogged saliva in his throat looking around at everybody before back to him. "w-what?"

Loke sighed, giving a long good pause to build up natsu's anticipation before answering him. "We are not searching for Gray from this point on."

"Loke you cant be serious you mean we went through all this shit just to come out with a result like this!?" Natsu Bickered slamming his fist against the edge of the boat enraged. His fire has never boiled so hot in his life than to hear the words of a comrade leaving another in the wilderness to defend for themselves. He couldn't leave Gray out there by himself. He knew what type of a guy he was. He'd get loss and start to hyperventilate about his master's passing and blaming it on himself. He could suicide at how much he thinks he is worthless to natsu and how he may have never gotten natsu's letter. He could be killed by those rouge mages on the lookout for him. How could he just leave him like that? They may have had their angers for each other but they not that stupid to know to leave a friend out in the open to be bait. He couldn't do that, He couldn't repeat what he did that day, he couldn't let him go without getting to embrace him one last time to whisper tender words into his ear to make him feel loved.

Loke shot natsu a glance, giving him a cold hard stare before looking away back into the ocean. "It doesn't matter anymore dragneel, he decided to leave and that's his decision. If that letter you sent him doesn't convince him then we cannot further push him into coming back to fairy tail." He conquered, erza keeping quiet for the first time along with lucy and juvia. Not to be a weakling but at this point in time Natsu wished Erza would step in so he wouldn't punch loke in the face.

"not to mention natsu, But he may not want to ever see you again after being rejected like that-"

Loke was interrupted. His collar yanked into the air by natu's grasp holding him tightly eye to eye. His breathing had become rigid with the gaps inbetween his fingers becoming sweaty almost losing his grip.

Natsu brought his tone down more, his face scrunching up with his nose flaring out."Loke, i swear if you leave Gray out there by himself i will never forgive you. You don't know how much that guy means to me. You don't know how much not being with him drives me to the point of insanity. Do you know how it feels to be left alone without the person you love out there and not by your side laughing with you, fighting with you, loving you? He's Nakama for god sake. You don't know how much this journey has brought me to realise the false feelings i had towards Lisanna were actually the feelings i wanted to tell him!" His shoulders began to shudder sniffing back the tears that wanted to shed.

Loke kept quiet. He tilted his head towards natsu eyeing the dragon slayer annoyingly.

"Natsu..."

Lucy,Erza and juiva's eyes shot up as Loke swung a right hook to Natsu's face causing him to let go of his collar. He hit the ground hard and raw with his back arching back up at the sting from the timber boards looking back towards him.

He looked down to him."Natsu I don't need you to recite everything I've been telling you this whole trip. Im not that stupid like you to not know that." Natsu's eyes grew wider as he covered his nose from the blood pouring out.

W-why was he acting like this?...

"I wanted you to admit those feelings about gray cause i didn't want to see you cry in the pity hole every time you saw him and i together. Your the one who needs to wake up and realise the situation were facing . We cant keep looking for him forever cause i know gray when he doesn't want to be found he would go into serious hiding just so no can find him. I want him back too natsu i do, But the guild is what we protect as family and right now master mackrow needs us to come home and aid the family. Dont let your own feelings get in the way of things Dragneel. I know its tough but at least you can finally tell Lisanna what it is your truly feeling." He said getting a few confused stares from lucys and the others.

The trip back to the docks was silent with the sound of the paddles pushing past the water only to be heard. Natsu didn't come back with another argue knowing whatever he would say he wouldn't be able to change the minds of everyone. He just missed Gray, He just wanted to make sure he was safe and come back home to a place where he was mostly wanted in life. He just wanted to hold him and tell him he loves him,

Was that too much to ask?

The fairy tail guild hall doors were pushed open. The same smell of liquor mixed with mirajanes cooking and sweat seeped through the air hitting natsu's nose. It was the smell of home, the smell natsu had grown up with for the past few years, the smell he wouldn't be able to enjoy without him around.

Everybody's gaze looked shot to them, people screaming and cheering for no reason with beer glasses hitting together with the music of bagpipes and harmonicas all buzzing through the room. Natsu couldn't understand, He couldn't understand why everyone would be celebrating after a loss of a comrade like this. He didn't want to be here he wanted to be looking for Gray and bringing him home.

Mackrow did a signal, raising his hand up making the music stop instantly. Everyone looked towards him, putting their beer bottles down, all saddened and depressed at the arrival of the rescue squad.

No gray...

They walked closer to the counter of the guild, walking down the stairs to pass by the heads that were all lowered down with no sound uttered. This was the first time a fairy tail team had not revered a guild member. This was something that deeply affected their relationship as a guild.

Standing in a line infront of Mackrow, they all looked up towards him, Natsu the only one whose head also looked down at annoyance. He wanted to say something, he wanted to rage, he wanted to ask why, why would he be asked to come back without gray with them?

Natsu grabbed them hem of his top squeezing as tightly as he can trying not outburst his thoughts like before.

Mackrow coughed, clearing the silence in the room turning to Loke for the mission report. "So, whats the news?" he asked.

Loke began. "we first looked for gray oak town trying to find his were abouts by asking his adoptive brother lyon. Unfortunately lyon had not met up with Gray or had an understanding of were he could be. We were though given information on Gray that he may be under attack by some rogue ninjas wanted the power he posses from his master. We don't know who exactly or if its a guild but, he isn't the only one who is getting tracked but lyon as well." He looked towards natsu noticing his angers was beginning to rise again. He looked back. "seeing as it was going to be hard to find Gray i thought it might be best we just head to galuna island to send a mail device. The mail device tracks there whereabouts and sends them a three minute speech of your recording to them. We were giving a picture of gray from a person who caught him before he left and we used that for the device. And then we came back here after your call, master..." Gray said a little bummed out by the fact as well.

Everybody kept quiet, all pissed off at themselves for not being able to do anything about it. But who could? Who could have stopped him before he left fairy tail with false knowledge that he isn't wanted? Natsu did...

Mackrow sighed, rubbing his beard slowly nodding at lokes information. "That's unfortunate. Well, its best we let gray decide for now as to where he wants to be. I for one do not want to see the boy leave this family after so many years of watching him grow up But, What he thinks can only be altered by the past memories he has had with the guild and wether he thinks there positive or negative..." Mackrow exclaimed, turning his back on the guild looking down as well as mirajane.

Natsu didn't want this, he didn't want this type of aura roaming around the guild all knowing the fact they could not do anything to get gray back. He wanted gray back, He wanted to go back to fighting with him if that what it meant to have him back by his side.

"Well, if that's all-"

"Gramps!" Natsu's wrist hits against the counter board startling mirajane this time Erza stepping in.

Erza stood forward walking up to him."Natsu thats enough quite it-"

"No I'm not I can't believe gramps is pushing Gray aside like he means nothing, he's our freaking comrade and you're just going to ignore that fact and let him roam free without knowing he is loved by us?! Don't you have a heart to think about your own child?! He could die for all we know you-"

"Natsu!"

Natsu stopped. He couldn't hold it back anymore, he didn't want to leave him there. If all he said was true on the mail device then whats the point in not proving that and leaving him? What am is he supposed to do without him? Nakama...Gray...the guild...friendship...what is this?

Natsu curled his fingers into his top. The tears couldn't stop coming down with his face puffed into his cheeks. The cold was starting to get to him. Usually he would complain and say something along the lines of "its too dam cold in here." But he just couldn't. He embraced it, let it cover him until his fire would try his body up to protect him. But he doesn't need this protection anymore. Its just another excuse to keep behind guards then expose who he really was. He was natsu dragneel, the boy who posses fire and is in love with an ice boy.

"n-natsu..."

Natsu felt a strong cold shiver down his spine. It was one he remembered. That voice everytime it would call out for him with that sweet innocent tone he just couldn't turn down. It was the girl he decived, it was the girl he used as a cover.

Lisanna.

He quivered. For the first time he was scared to even see her face. It has been so long he forgot how innocent she looked with that white short hair up to her shoulders and her big blue eyes. She's already had been through so much due to edolas. She's seen horrors natsu couldn't bring himself to see. But he didn't want to hurt her any longer, but he didn't want her to forget what they had.

Loke stepped towards natsu, the guilds gaze all fixated on them as he patted his shoulder. "Natsu..."

He hit Loke's hand away, tilting his head to the side in annoyance gritting his teeth."i know im not stupid loke!"

Everyone was surprised Natsu was acting like this. The elders of the guild especially were all pretty shocked at the way he was defending gray. They know how much they try to break the other ones neck or tear their rib cage out. But they never thought that all that could bring them so close together that they would need to survive on one another to live.

Natsu heard the guilds whispers begin to erupt the room. Gajeel and Laxus especially were both flabbergasted at was being seen.

Natsu rubbed his eyes,both of them turning red as he left the room in a hurry, only with Lisanna right behind him.