Chapter 29
A/N: The end of 5th year is almost upon us. I bet the members of Jily land are looking forward to a nice 6-week holiday. I really want to post these more often but I'm too slow at writing these to do that. Sorry.
Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognise.
Enjoy :)
The day of my Defence Against the Dark Arts exam had arrived. I had spent the evening before with Tom doing revision and um… other things. Despite the amount of revision we had done and the fact that my mind was reciting the facts and key dates at me I felt unprepared and extremely apprehensive. There was something about today that made me incredibly nervous. My appetite potion was the only thing making me eat breakfast and I was extremely grateful because otherwise my body would have been rejecting my cereal.
Mary and Marlene were chatting about the Quidditch league and about which team was the best. Mary was campaigning for the Tutshill Tornadoes and Marlene for the Bellycastle Bats. Alice was watching Frank eating his breakfast a little way down the table with a dreamy expression. I rolled my eyes at my bowl of cereal. Next to my bowl of cereal was my copy of 'A Guide to Being Frugal: Refilling supplies and much more...'. I'd bought this book in my first trip to Diagon Alley with Professor McGonagall. It looked slightly worn and had definitely seen better days but it was one of my most essential books. I was currently searching for a material repair spell because I couldn't remember any – the hole in my robes was now unacceptably big. Upon finding what I was looking for, I pulled my wand out from behind my ear and cast the spell on the hole. Instantly, the material sealed itself. I looked glumly at my robes. The material was now faded and in places wearing thin. There was only so much magic could do so I definitely needed a new set of black robes.
I sighed. Perhaps I could get a summer job at the Railview Hotel in Cokesworth and earn some extra money next to my cleaning job. Maybe then I would be able to afford some brand-new robes rather than some second-hand ones. Those would hopefully last longer.
Tom sat down next to me. He looked a little tired but overall cheerful.
'All right?' I said smiling at him.
'Hi.' He replied. 'Don't mind if I sit here do you?'
'Yes I mind. How dare you? It's completely illegal.' I answered without missing a beat. Tom laughed which automatically caused me to join in because his laughter was so infectious. I clutched his arm as I gasped for air between laughs. 'We s-s-shouldn't be laughing this m-much!' I chortled. 'We've got e-e-e-exams.' The two of us continued to chuckle despite what I had said not being very funny. Maybe we were just desperate for a reason to smile.
'All the more reason!' Tom declared as we finally calmed down. 'Only two subjects left which means today and tomorrow are exam days and then no more!'
'I suppose that's a positive.' I said. Tom put his arm around me.
'And there's plenty more. Just think, with these exams you get lifelong skills.'
'Why are you such an optimist?' I wailed jokingly. 'We won't need life-long skill…the exams will kill us.'
'Why are you such a pessimist?' Tom asked in response. I could sense him smiling.
'I'm not a pessimist. I'm a cynical realist.' I quipped. He snorted.
'Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say.'
I sat in my seat in the Defence Against the Dark Arts exam rereading my answers. We had a few minutes left judging by the amount of sand left in the top half of the hourglass at the front of the Great Hall. Sure enough:
'Five more minutes!' cried Professor Flitwick from the front. I glanced up to see him moving between desks quite a big distance away from me (I was almost at the back of the Hall). He passed a mass of very untidy black hair which I immediately knew belonged to Potter. I returned to checking my answers. All questions had my small and neat handwriting underneath and when reading what I'd written I couldn't think of anything to add. After reading through my answers twice I looked cautiously at my surroundings not wanting to be told off for cheating or something.
Mary sat directly in front of me and was examining her hair. Every so often she would ruffle it in a dissatisfied sort of way. Marlene sat a few seats away from me and was looking at the head of the person sitting in front of her (Harriet Ross) whilst absentmindedly destroying her quill. Alice sat right at the side of the Hall and was determinately forcing her gaze out of the window. I smirked as exactly next to her was the one and only Frank Longbottom. I could tell it was all she could do to stop herself staring at Frank while he wrote. Not only would she have looked creepy if he looked up but the teachers would have thought her to be cheating.
'Quills down, please!' squeaked Professor Flitwick. 'That means you too Stebbins!' Oh, Stebbins, what a little rebel. I shook my head with an expression of mock disgust and heard Marlene cough extremely loudly as she glanced in my direction. 'Please remain seated while I collect your parchment. Accio!' He summoned the exam papers and over a hundred rolls of parchment zoomed towards the Professor. Poor Professor Flitwick was knocked backwards off his feet as the force of the pieces of parchment reached him. Quite a few people, including the Marauders, laughed but luckily some of the students in the front row got up and helped him onto his feet again. 'Thank you…thank you,' he said a little breathlessly. 'Very well, everybody, you're free to go!'
There was a great scraping of chairs as everyone scrambled to leave the Great Hall and go outside for some fresh air. I waited for the Girls and then the four of us headed to the edge of the Lake. Once we were there we all sat down (Mary took a few moments) and then removed our shoes and socks so we could cool our feet in the water. The Lake's water was refreshing and just what we needed after sitting an exam.
'Did you get a new razor head, Lily? Your legs look really smooth.' Alice asked.
'I found a permanent hair removal charm.' I said and immediately one of my legs was lifted out of the water by Marlene so she could examine it. The other two also leaned in to look.
'Not bad.' Marlene said approvingly.
'You could say…it works like a charm.' I said grinning and nudging them. Alice, Mary and Marlene all fought to contain small smiles. 'Oh, come on. That was a great pun!'
'It was a shit pun!' Mary said.
'Then how come you're all smiling.'
'We are not!' Alice cried indignantly.
'Fine! Then I won't tell you the charm.' I said folding my arms and looking away with an over exaggerated huff. My leg was promptly dropped.
'What!' Marlene exclaimed. All three of them clasped their hands as though in prayer.
'Oh great and powerful Lily!' They said in unison. 'Barer of the knowledge to bestow permanent hair removal. Please grace us with the power and knowledge you hold.'
'Well, I-' I broke off as my gaze fixed on a scene behind where we were sitting. Potter and Sirius with their wands pointing at Sev, who was choking and gaging on a frothy substance streaming from his mouth. 'Oh no you don't.' I said quietly. I surprised myself at how dangerous my voice sounded. I grabbed my shoes and socks before getting up and striding over to the scene I spotted. The Girls didn't try and hold me back but rather called encouragement after me.
'You tell them Lily!'
'Give them that sas we love!'
'Don't be scared to punch them!' I had a feeling Marlene said that one.
A small crowd had formed by the time I reached the boys and to my disgust Remus was reading his book and Peter was watching with extreme excitement. Sev was struggling to get up from the floor as he choked on the bubbles in his mouth and I had the feeling he might also have had an impediment jinx cast on him.
'Leave him ALONE!' I hissed waspishly. Sirius and Potter looked around at me. Guilt flashed across Sirius' face. Potter immediately ran his hand through his messy hair. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to pull out each and every one of his hairs one by one. I mentally shook myself after think of something like that.
'All right, Evans?' said Potter in a tone that suggested he was doing something menial like reading a book. Like he could read! His tone seemed pleasant and calm but it only made my insides roar with indignation.
'Leave him alone.' I said again, my gaze cold and filled with dislike. 'What's he done to you?'
'Well,' Potter began. He paused as though considering his point. Wanker. 'it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean…'
Those surrounding the scene laughed. Remus didn't as he was apparently too interested in his bloody book to be aware of what was going on and do his Prefect duties but Sirius and Peter did. Oh, how I wanted to rip Potter's smarmy little head off. Wow, I needed to calm down with the psychotic thoughts.
'You think you're funny,' I said emotionlessly. 'But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone.'
'I will if you go out with me, Evans.' Potter said quickly. How dumb was this dickhead? I already had a boyfriend and seriously when would he realise that his stupid joke was old? 'Go on…go out with me and I'll never lay a finger on old Snivelly again.'
In the corner of my eye I could see the impediment jinx wearing off Sev and that he was inching towards his wand which was on the ground. Perhaps if I argued with Potter long enough I would distract everyone long enough for Sev to grab his wand and get away. It was worth a shot.
'I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid.' I stated. Hopefully that would rile Potter up enough to start a full-on argument.
'Bad luck, Prongs.' Sirius said briskly. Unfortunately, Sirius had ended any chance of a distraction and sure enough, he noticed Sev. 'OI!' Shit.
Sev directed his wand towards Potter and there was a sudden flash of light before a slash appeared on the side of Potter's face. The blood from the gash splattered his robes and I was tempted to heal it but I ridded my mind of that thought. This is why I couldn't always trust boys. I gave Sev the chance to run but no he had to try and attack Potter instead. Potter whirled about to face Sev again and flicked his wand furiously. A flash of light later and Sev was hanging upside-down with his robes falling to reveal his skinny, pallid legs and his greyish pants. Relief flooded me as I had been worried he would have really embarrassing pants with hearts on or something that people would have laughed at even more. A smile threatened to form with my relief but I caught myself before anyone thought I was smiling because I found the scene funny. I turned on Potter with a thunderous expression.
'Let him down!'
'Certainly.' Potter said with his stupid voice that sounded like he thought himself better than everyone else. He moved his wand upwards and Sev fell onto the ground as a crumpled heap. He struggled in his robes as he disentangled himself and swiftly stood up, holding his wand ready. Sirius, however, said 'Petrificus Totalus!' and Sev fell flat on his stomach. He was completely still. Images of Sev on the days his dad had too much to drink flooded into my mind. I saw the small, skinny, starving boy I had first met that day in our local playground.
Sev was my friend. My first true friend. The one who had introduced me to the magical world. The one who understood my troubles at home.
My friend.
And he was currently lying defenceless and helpless on the ground.
My friend.
'LEAVE HIM ALONE!' I shouted and pulled my wand out from behind my ear. Sirius and Potter looked at it anxiously. I would enjoy this. I would hex every inch of their stupid smirking, arrogant faces. Sirius, one of my own surrogate brothers, had betrayed me. Potter I had expected this of but I had, mistakenly, thought Sirius had matured.
'Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you.' Potter said earnestly. Oh, he'd hex me, would he? I wouldn't give the little shit the chance.
'Take the curse off him, then!' I snarled.
Potter sighed dramatically for the entertainment of the crowd and then muttered the counter-curse.
'There you go.' He said as poor Sev struggled to his feet. 'You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus – '
'I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!'
I blinked. That was the last thing I had wanted or expected to hear.
'Fine.' I said with a voice like ice. 'I won't bother in future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus.' The name felt horrible on my tongue and I shuddered internally as I said it.
'Apologise to Evans!' Potter bellowed at Severus with his wand pointing menacingly at him.
'I don't want you to make him apologise.' I shouted as I rounded on stupid Saint Potter. 'You're just as bad as he is.'
'What?' Potter yelped. 'I'd NEVER call you a – you-know-what!'
'Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can – I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK.'
I turned on my heel and hurried away as fast as my legs could carry me. Potter called after me but I ignored him. I moved through the castle swiftly and found the back entrance to the grounds. My bare feet found comfort in the barely disturbed grass as I walked far far away. Upon finding a towering oak tree I sank down onto the ground and leaned against the gnarled trunk as I began to sob. The tears fell thick and fast but I made no effort to wipe them away. My shoulders shook as I buried my head in my knees.
Sirius had backed Potter. Severus had called me a Mudblood. Remus had done nothing to stop Sirius and Potter nor to help me. And I had said some things to Potter which I couldn't take back. Those insults were much nastier than I had expected but I didn't know if I regretted them or not.
I continued to cry into my knees. The fat droplets of water didn't cease but seemed to worsen as time went by. I pulled my hair out of its braid and ran my fingers through it in agitation. My sobbing remained uncontrollable and when I tried to get up my legs trembled and I collapsed back down onto the ground. In an attempt to gain control of my emotions, I thought of my happiest memory and conjured Arnold. Arnold appeared and snuggled up against me with his little trunk entwining its way around my arm. Although I couldn't feel my patronus it was a huge comfort just to know he was there. But the tears didn't stop. They fell less but still trickled down my face in a constant stream.
It was beginning to grow dark when I finally found the strength to stand. Arnold vanished as I gathered up my shoes and socks. I checked my hairband for my braid was around my wrist and headed back towards the fully lit castle. I didn't remember my way up to Gryffindor Tower and only came to my senses when the Fat Lady asked for the password. I gave it to her and she swung open. I entered the common room. Upon seeing the people in it, it took all of my strength to not turn around and leave the common room again.
The Marauders were arguing with Mary, Marlene and Alice. The Girls looked extremely close to hexing the boys and Marlene was only half-heartedly being held back by a livid looking heavily pregnant Mary and Alice who bore an expression that could be interpreted as that of a murderer. I wasn't really sure I wanted to be noticed by anyone but the argument was happening right in front of the staircase to the girl's dormitory which was my destination.
'Oh, fuck off, will you?' snapped Marlene. The sound of the portrait hole closing behind me alerted them to my presence.
James' POV:
Evans stood in the entrance of the common room. Her dark red hair was no longer in its usual plait but hung loosely over her shoulders making her beauty more spectacular than usual. She looked ghostly pale and seemed as though she might crumble at any moment. We all moved slightly towards her but McDonald crossed the room and reached her first. She put a protective arm around Evans and glowered at me and the rest of the Marauders.
Back to Lily's POV:
Mary put her arm around me whilst glaring daggers at the boys.
'It's okay. We'll get them to leave you alone. Do you want me to get Tom? Will that help?' she asked softly.
'I want to go to bed.' I whispered pathetically. I didn't have the energy to deal with any more arguments.
'Of course.' Mary nodded and the two of us moved towards the girl's staircase. We reached the safety of the stairs and Marlene and Alice followed us like body guards. As soon as we were in the dormitory I went over to my bed and curled up under the sheets.
'We're sorry we didn't help you Lily.' Marlene said quietly.
'It doesn't matter.' I reassured her.
'We were too busy trying to restrain an angry pregnant lady.' Alice said and a tiny smile appeared momentarily on my lips.
'I was not angry!' Mary cried indignantly.
'My arms beg to differ.' Marlene countered. My hand reached out for my dreamless sleep potion and after taking a dose I drifted off to the sound of my girlfriends' affectionate bickering.
The next morning was also the morning marking the last exams of our O. W. Ls. I woke at 6.00 am as usual and took my appetite potion before heading into the bathroom. I washed my face and changed into my school uniform. Then I put on my makeup and grabbed my school bag once back in the dormitory. I headed down to the Great Hall for my breakfast and whilst eating my cereal I read through my Transfiguration notes. Despite feeling like shit I acted as though it was just any other morning.
Once I'd finished eating I went back upstairs to clean my teeth and then to the Library for somewhere peaceful to revise. The Library only had a few people asides from Madame Pince in it. I settled myself at a table near the back and braided my hair before returning to my Transfiguration revision. I revised peacefully for a good half an hour but as the clock behind Madame Pince's desk reached 7.10 am shadows fell across my notes. I looked up to see Remus and Sirius standing in front of me.
'Lily?' Remus said tentatively. 'Can we talk?' I looked at the two boys.
'We'd better go outside.' I said expressionlessly. Slowly, I gathered together my things and the three of us headed into the corridor. Once in the corridor we stopped and I turned to face them. Neither of them spoke so I folded my arms and tapped my foot impatiently. 'Well?'
'Lily, we are so sorry.' The two of them said quietly but there was desperation in their voices.
'Is that so?' I asked. My voice was toneless and the gaze I fixed them with betrayed no emotion. 'Sirius, are you sorry for what you did or are you sorry I saw you do it?'
'Both I suppose. I wouldn't feel that bad if you hadn't seen it.' Sirius admitted and looked at the floor. I appreciated his honesty.
'And what about you Remus? Are you sorry you didn't try stop it or are you sorry I saw you do nothing?'
'Sorry I did nothing.' Remus said. I was silent for a moment.
'I…um…Sirius I thought you'd grown up but I was wrong and Remus I thought being a prefect meant more than that to you. I know you weren't reading that book because it was upside-down and you can't read upside-down.'
'Lily, we're sorry and that's all we can say.' Sirius said.
'Well, you should really be apologising to Severus but that isn't really an option. He'd probably try hex you.' I said sadly.
There was silence between the three of us for a long time. My mind whizzed as it decided whether or not to accept their apologies. I looked out of the window that was next to us in the corridor.
'Sirius, I said to you that I would always forgive you when I was braiding your hair just before Halloween and I…I still stand by that. Remus you're just the same and that's the thing about you two, you're my brothers and part of my family.' I wasn't sure if I should have forgiven them so quickly but that was the issue with me I was always too willing to forgive.
'Y-you mean it?' Sirius asked incredulously. 'You'll forgive us just like that?' I looked away from the window and back at the two of them.
'Yes. The same goes for Peter if you see him before I do.' I whispered. The two boys pounced on me and enveloped me in an extremely tight hug. I didn't mind however. Once we let go I smiled slightly at the two of them. 'D-d-d-o…Is Potter alright?'
'Oh, he's fine.' Sirius said breezily. Remus checked his watch.
'We'd better head to the Great Hall. Our exam starts in 15 minutes.'
The rest of the week before our return home passed swiftly and in no time at all we were boarding the Hogwarts Express for the journey to Kings Cross Station. I had successfully avoided Potter for the entirety of that week and overall kept an extremely low profile. When the Girls had found out I'd forgiven Sirius, Remus and Peter they shook their heads a little but agreed it had helped me not to be as melancholy as I would have been.
The Girls and I sat in a compartment on the train and chatted about nothing in particular. I was grateful this conversation didn't require my input so I watched them gossip rather than comment on anything.
'Yeah, that's right.' Mary was saying. 'Andrew's invited my brother on the Stag Do.' She chuckled. 'Imagine that. A drunk Matthew surrounded by people who can do magic. He is definitely going to do some brilliant stuff. Shame we can't watch it.'
'Maybe that's best.' Marlene said. 'We've heard stories of him when he's pissed. Didn't he think he was part of those muggle secret service people and started singing the James Band? theme tune whilst pretending to sneak around?'
Alice snorted.
'That's my big bro.' Mary said fondly. 'Just you wait till the wedding. We are going to see stuff you'll never forget.'
'That sounds slightly ominous.' Alice said suspiciously.
'I don't think I'll witness it. I bet I'll be hammered by then.' Marlene stated.
'You're underage. It's not like school. You won't be able to get any alcohol.' Mary laughed shaking her head.
'I'll bring my own.' Marlene said stubbornly. 'Just you wait an-'
The compartment door slid open. Four female heads turned to see who had disturbed the conversation. It was Potter. A whimper escaped my mouth but it was covered by Alice who coughed loudly at almost exactly the same time.
'I want to speak with Evans.' He declared into the compartment.
'Well she doesn't want to talk to you.' Alice snapped.
'I'd prefer an answer from Evans herself, Prewitt.' Potter said coldly. He looked at me and waited expectantly for an answer.
The answer was no. Most definitely no. And yet just as my mind came to this conclusion the 'Let's All Ruin Lily's Life' club arrived after a long absence.
'Sure.' Came my voice. Everyone looked at me in surprise, including Potter. 'In the corridor, I presume.' Potter nodded and I walked determinately out into the corridor. As the door slid shut behind me my heart rate increased as nerves at the LARLL club's decision kicked in.
Potter opened his mouth to speak but I cut across him.
'I'm sorry for the stuff I said.' The words spilled out of my mouth before I'd even thought about it. 'I mean,' I coughed awkwardly. 'some of the stuff I said was kind of true but I...I didn't have to say it the way I did…' I trailed off and tugged at my plait.
'Why are you apologising?' Potter asked confused. 'You did nothing wrong. It's my fault so don't apologise for it. I'm sorry for what I did.'
'Really?'
'Really.' I observed him shrewdly and then held out my hand. Potter shook it tentatively. My face split into a small smile which was my first true smile in days.
'You know Potter, I've always wondered if we could be friends. We have those conversations that make me think we would be great friends but then we always have an argument or something a day later. During the exams, we didn't have a single argument and I thought everything was going well but then the incident happened. But I suppose we just never purposely tried to get along.'
'Are you saying you want to be friends, Evans?' Potter asked quietly. My gaze did not leave Potter's face once when I next spoke. I looked directly into his hazel eyes.
'Yes, I think so. So, James, d'you want to be friends?' The name James felt strange on my tongue. Well, not weird just new.
'That sounds like a wicked idea, Lily.' He answered beaming.
When I left Kings Cross Station in my dad's car an hour later I was in a much better mood than I had been that morning. Severus' betrayal hurt and it hurt badly but I had friends that would help me through it. I wasn't alone.
Thanks for reading!
We've reached the end of 5th year. Wow, who thought we'd get there? Next up is the summer holidays and eventually 6th year. Hehe.
I'm not sure how I feel about Lily forgiving people so quickly but at the same time I didn't want those problems to drag into the holidays.
Please Review :)
