Hey guys! I changed my mind about what was going to happen in this chapter, so it might be different from what you were expecting, but I hope you like it all the same. I've had a pretty crappy week but your lovely reviews and messages continue to cheer me up, so thank you all!
Disclaimer: I do not own TMI or any of its characters, though my 30 Seconds to Mars tickets have now arrived for Saturday AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
Chapter 29: Trying to unlock the door
There's a slight spring in my step as I make my way to English the next morning. Jonathan was awkward for the rest of the previous evening, but he spent the entirety of the car ride earlier moaning about how his new brand of conditioner wasn't leaving his hair as silky smooth as it claimed. Apparently his roots were far too coarse and didn't reflect light in the right way. I took that to mean things were finally back to normal.
Of course, this didn't mean that he completely ignored the entire issue. Just as I had gotten out of the car, he decided to finally broach the subject of Jace.
"Hey, Clary?" He'd asked, sounding slightly unsure of himself.
"Yeah?" I turned back towards him, leaning in through the door.
"Yesterday, when you got up at the dinner table…" He swallowed, keeping his eyes in front of him. "Did you mean that? When you said you'd leave Jace if I wanted you to - did you mean it?"
"Yes," I nodded. "Of course, I was sincerely hoping you wouldn't ask me to, but yes. I've always known how complicated this would make our lives and I'd never want to make things difficult for you and Jace. He doesn't need me like he needs you."
"I don't think so," Jonathan said, finally looking up. His mouth was tilted in a lopsided grin, but the look in his eyes told me he was being serious. "These past few weeks, I knew something was different with him. I noticed it in the way he's been at school, but especially with the band. Normally he's never into Mallard Massacre as much as I am, but recently he's been putting a lot more effort in. Of course, I'm guessing his eagerness to come to practice probably has a lot to do with you, but it's not just that. He doesn't play like it's a competition any more, like he has to outshine everyone. Now, he plays just for the sake of playing and because he loves his guitar. He's content to just let things slide sometimes and try different things, almost as if he doesn't feel like he has to prove himself to anyone. The other day, for example, he went through an entire song with playing only one solo."
"Seriously?" I raise my eyebrows, because really, that's quite shocking.
"Yeah, and he even let Sebastian take over one of his simpler tapping parts. He changed his mind straight after, but it's the thought that counts."
"Wow, that's actually pretty good. I mean, the size of his ego was beginning to worry me a little; it was getting to the point when I thought he should probably go and have it checked out. What's that got to do with me though?"
"It's got everything to do with you," Jonathan chuckled, leaning back in his seat. "I think you're what he needed to put him back in his place. Somehow, he's finally realised that he's not the only person on the planet and he's much better off for it. So you were wrong. Yes, Jace needs me – obviously he'd be a pathetic loser without me in his life – but he needs you too."
"Erm…thanks," I said, barely louder than a whisper. I'm not sure he'd ever complimented me in some way during the entire time I'd been alive. Okay, so that might have been a bit of an exaggeration.
There was this one time back in Year 4 when an older boy pushed me over in the playground, so I'd gone over and kicked him in the shin so hard that he'd cried for at least an hour. I regretted it immediately afterwards – I was never much of a violent person – but Jonathan had told me that he was proud of me and that it would have only been better if I'd aimed a little higher. I didn't quite understand why at the time, but I'd decided to take the first part as a compliment.
My point is, Jonathan was very much like Jace in that he rarely thought of anyone beside himself. As a result, his words had meant a lot more to me than he'd realised. Unfortunately, I was so in shock that I couldn't reply quite as articulately.
"I need you to promise me something though," he'd added, gathering up his books. "No matter how much you don't want to come between us, if he ever hurts you, I need you to tell me. He may be my best friend, but that doesn't mean I won't deck him if he's an idiot. Do you promise to do that?"
"I promise," I said, gulping down the lump in my throat.
"Good. Right, that's my yearly allowance of cheese used up." Jonathan locked the car door and started walking ahead of me. "Get to class."
And just like that, our moment was over.
I grin to myself at the memory as I fiddle with my locker. I've forgotten to bring my poetry anthology to school so many times that I just outright refuse to take it home these days. I fit the key into the over-sized padlock that my father insisted I should use – he seems to think that stealing my half-eaten sandwiches and occasional textbook is the main priority of the students at my school – and try to pry it open. Unfortunately, since the lock is so strong I'm always worried that the little key will snap if I turn it too hard. I thought about getting a coded lock, but I'm awful with remembering numbers.
I even forgot it was going to be my birthday once, until Simon asked me what I was planning for my 'sweet sixteenth.' After overcoming the initial shock of forgetting the day I was born – though in all honesty, it's not like I was all that aware of it at the time – I proceeded to hit him over the head for using such an irritating term. There was nothing sweet about being sixteen. I was very adamant that I would be turning into a fully-fledged woman, hoping that the instantaneous growth spurt in all directions would happen as a result, and insisted on him referring to it as 'Clary's Cocoon-emergence.' Needless to say, I was a little disappointed when I woke up that September morning and found that I was still barely five foot and I hadn't miraculously outgrown all of my bras.
My seventeenth was slightly less disappointing, though for other reasons.
"Come on," I groan, turning my entire body at the same angle as the twisted key. It must have been the runt of the production line. "If you do this for me I'll…err, polish your metal."
"I accept."
I drop the key in astonishment, then stare at it. Did it…did it just speak?
A pair of converses move into my vision and I look up briefly to see Jace leaning against the adjacent locker to mine. Ah.
"Oh my goodness, Jace!" I mumble, returning my gaze to the key. "I might have imagined it, but I think my key wants to be romantically involved with me."
"What gives you that idea?" I can hear the smile in his voice but I'm too mortified at the thought of what I'd just said in front of him to look up. Perhaps if I continue to pretend I'm insane, he might just let it go.
"I may or may not have propositioned it, and it accepted."
"Really?" He laughs, crossing his arms over his chest. "How interesting. You're going to have to find a way to let it down gently."
"Well, I dropped it on the floor. Does that count?"
"Ooh, harsh." He sucks in a breath. "Is that how you turn down all of your admirers?"
"Yes," I finally look back up at him. "Especially those who interrupt my conversations."
"Can you blame me though?" Jace swipes the key off of the floor and the lock clicks open on his first try.
"How did you…" I glower, annoyed that he managed to work it so easily. He winks at me as he drops the key back into my hand.
"Seriously though, you really shouldn't be flirting with inanimate objects when your boyfriend is standing right behind you."
"Jace!" I slap my hand over his mouth. A couple of students have slowed down considerably next to us.
"What?" He asks, his breath tickling my fingers. I wait until the girls have passed us before I speak again, dropping my hand from his face.
"You can't say that out loud!"
"Say what out loud? That you were flirting with your key? Admittedly, I can see how people might take that the wrong way."
"No, silly! The other thing…you know…the 'b' word." I check around myself to make sure no one else is within hearing range.
"Boyfriend?" He arches an eyebrow.
"Yes!" I hiss, frantically searching the corridor.
"But Jonathan knows now. Who else are we hiding from?"
"Well…" I cut myself off because, really, who else are we hiding from? My friends know, his friends know, my parents know and now Jonathan knows. Oh and Mr Wayland, obviously. That man knows too much. Is anyone even left? I've just been so used to having to keep our relationship a secret, the idea that we might not have to is completely alien. "Your parents!"
"My parents? Oh, they knew ages ago." Jace shrugs as if it's no big deal.
"Wait, what?!" I gasp. How can he be so calm about something like that? Having to tell my parents was one of the most daunting prospects I'd ever had.
"They actually always thought you were my girlfriend, since they didn't believe I'd go around your house so much just because of Jonathan. What they didn't realise is that I've practically lived at your place all these years because they're away so much. When I was younger, I used to wish I'd just been born a Morgenstern instead."
"Well, I for one am very glad you weren't."
"So am I," he grins. "Though it's not completely off the table yet."
I give him a quizzical look, but decide it's probably best if I don't ask.
"So wait, for all these years they've thought I was your girlfriend and you didn't correct them?"
"I did!" Jace answers, though a little too quickly. "I used to deny it all the time, but eventually I just gave up and ignored them. They rarely saw you anyway, so it's not like it had that much of an impact on my life. The only time I've ever consciously not denied it is when there was no more reason to. They asked me a week or so ago if I was planning to bring my girlfriend to the annual company ball and I said I'd ask you. Oh yeah, about that, do you want to go?"
"Perhaps, if you sounded a bit more enthusiastic about it." I roll my eyes, picking my anthology out of the locker and placing the padlock back in its usual spot. He might as well have asked me if I wanted him to pick up some milk on the way home.
"Sorry," he chuckles. "I'll try that again."
Jace grabs my shoulders to face me towards him.
"Oh my god, Clary," he fans himself dramatically, speaking in a high-pitched voice. "Do you want to like, go to the ball with me? I've heard it's going to be like, asdfghjkl. You'll have so many feels, oh my god." Then he starts jumping up and down on the spot, a goofy grin stretching over his face.
"Are you quite finished?"
"Was that not enthusiastic enough for you?" He pouts. "Was it the jumping? Did my inner fangirl not reach out to you?"
I just stare at him.
"Fine, I'll be serious." He looks at me straight-faced now. "Clarissa Morgenstern, will you do me the honour of accompanying me to the ball?"
"Will there be cake?"
"There will be cake."
"Eh," I shrug. "I'll go."
"Awesome," he throws his arm around me as we turn towards our English class. "This is going to be so much more fun than usual. Normally I just hang around trying to stay invisible while stealing all the food. Jonathan's never agreed to go with your parents in the past."
"My parents? They're going to be there too!?"
"Yeah, they go every year. So do the Lightwoods, but Alec rarely comes and Isabelle always manages to keep herself occupied just fine. Has no one ever asked you about it before?"
"No, they haven't." My brows furrow as I try to think of a time my parents might have mentioned it. My father and Robert Lightwood both work with Stephen Herondale, hence why they all know each other so well, but I've never been invited to the company ball before.
"Well, now they have."
"But it's going to be so weird," I shudder. "With your parents in the same room as my parents, now that they know about us…I don't even want to think about what could happen."
"It's not till this Friday, so you don't have to think about it until Thursday evening," Jace grins. "For now, just concentrate on the fact that we are finally free."
"Ah yes," I nod, having forgotten this. "Freedom, in which your arm can touch my shoulder."
"Freedom can do a lot more than that…" Jace stops then and spins me round so I'm pressed up against him.
"Err…" I try to look past him to the rest of the corridor, where many people have definitely frozen mid-step to look at us. "Is that such a good idea?"
"Now that the scary people have been dealt with, I want everyone to know. Is that such a bad thing?"
"No, but…right now?"
"Why not? This way, we're just letting the rumour mill handle it. I can make an announcement at lunchtime if you'd prefer, but I know you don't want all of that attention."
"You mean like the attention we're getting here?"
More students have gathered in the corridor as if there's some invisible barrier a few feet from us. Among the throng, I can clearly see the wide-eyed face of Aline, her jaw halfway to the floor.
"You're my girlfriend now, Clary. Attention is in the job description."
"Really?" I bite my lip nervously. "You know, I don't tend to read the small print."
"You're in for a lot of surprises then," he says, his grin stretching even wider. Then, in front of what seems like half of the student population, he leans down and presses his lips to mine.
Lots of surprises, Clary. Lots.
Anyway, like I said - I changed my mind about her meeting the in-laws in this one because I thought 'hey, stuff it let's have a ball!' and I wanted to dedicate a proper lengthy chapter to that, so that'll be the next update. I hope this helped satisfy your mid-week cravings though!
I've had a lot of people asking me whether the story will be coming to an end soon and you're almost right. There's still some major stuff to happen (we haven't even had the semi-finals yet!) and of course, no story is complete without a PLOT TWIST so there is quite a bit left, but I've planned it out all the way to the end now, so for me it definitely feels like I'm wrapping up. I'm forecasting around 11 more chapters which may seem like a lot for some of you, but having only five more weeks of this is pretty scary for me. This story and all of you guys have become such a massive part of my life these past months and I'm not looking forward to letting it all go D: There's still a while though, so let's not freak out yet.
Finally, I just wanted to ask for your help on something! I'm playing with a couple of band names for the boys who will be competing against MM in the semi-final, but I haven't got anything concrete yet so I'd love it if you guys could please send me any ideas you may have :D I can confirm that the members of the band will be Will, Jem, Gideon, Gabriel plus a special guest, so the name can be either TMI/TID-related/anything else you like. I can't guarantee I'll use it - this is a dictatorship after all muahahaha - but if I do then obviously you will be credited. Thank you!
Till the next time...
smim xx
