Oh. My. God. This story...it's cursed I swear! XD My bloody laptop broke right after the last update XD Oh guys I'm so sorry! I can barely believe how disasterous writing this has been! Christ XD Well I seem to have gotten it working again, hopefully it'll stay that way! This one's a little short but is a pretty big milestone of a chapter for me XD
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Outrage and betrayal burned within Lovino, pushing him forward as he threw open the door of Francis' house and rushed outside. His leg was bothering him as he walked which slowed him down, and Antonio was able to catch up to the hobbling young man with relative ease. "Lovino, please stop and think about what you are doing. You're not thinking straight." Antonio pleaded, trying to stand in front of the enraged Italian to block his path. The fresh air burned his lungs, he wasn't used to the outside. Light burned his eyes as he tried to hinder the Italian.
Lovino dodged the Spaniard's attempts, and when he stood firmly before him, he was tempted to trample over the man. "Stop stalling me Antonio!" He yelled, maneuvering around the emaciated older man. His cane 'clinked' as he evaded the other man's movements. Antonio knew he could not keep up with the younger for long, they were both in no state for such overexertion and it showed. Both parties were breathing heavily, but Antonio was terrified of what Feliciano would say if Lovino confronted him, so Antonio grabbed the back of his jacket in a final attempt to hold him back.
"Please Lovino, you shouldn't do anything when you're like this, you're too angry to make good decisions." He pleaded, tugging at the jacket. Lovino turned to face him, his face was red with anger and he was breathing heavily through his nose like an enraged animal.
"I need to see what he has to say for himself, so stop getting in my way and take me to him." He growled, and Antonio could at last see into those eyes he loved so much. Gold speckled and beautiful, but tinged with such a deep sadness that it reminded him of the first time he saw them. It was then that he realised the impact of all that had happened to the young man he had promised to save. Feliciano had been the only person who had not hurt him, and now Lovino had been betrayed by everyone he cared about. The wind seemed to stop, and it was just the two of them, staring at each other and breathing hard.
Antonio knew he had made a terrible mistake falling for Lovino, but his worst mistake was making Lovino suffer because of it. He had been selfish, and the realisation of the full extent of his selfishness drained him of all resistance. Regardless of the consequences, he had to let Lovino talk to Feliciano; he needed to stop putting himself over the younger man. "Fine, I will take you to him." He said quietly, staring at the ground. "But the keys to Francis' car are indoors, we need to go back." His voice was a strained mumble as he tried not to let his utter terror show. He kicked the pavement with his toe anxiously.
Lovino eyed him suspiciously, wary of the sudden change of heart. "I'll wait here." He replied, not wanting to be trapped in Francis' house. Antonio nodded and wandered back towards the house he had just left for the first time in months, shuffled footsteps disappearing around the corner.
Minutes later the car pulled up beside Lovino, who got in and slammed the door shut.
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Feliciano stroked up Ludwig's chest, feeling hard muscle under soft cotton. He loved just laying with him, feeling the stronger man beneath his fingertips, the firm chest under his cheek. Neither said anything, they just lay in complete peace. It wasn't often they'd get the chance to relax during the day together, what with both of them having busy school lives. Feliciano's final exams had passed that very morning, and Ludwig had been asked to take on an extra sports class. Therefore, time spent with the other had been sparse, and when they were together they were usually stressed and exhausted. But now they could just enjoy being with the one they loved, feeling like all was right with the world. He felt soft lips kiss his hair and giggled softly, squeezing Ludwig tightly which made him smile. A loud crack of something metal hitting the wooden door made them both jump, Feliciano instinctively attempted to grab Ludwig's shirt but he had already stood up defensively. It sounded again, followed by Lovino shouting Feliciano's name. The concerned Italian hurried to open the door, only to be shoved harshly back into the room once he had.
"You interfering bastard! Who the fuck do you think you are?" Lovino said, shoving his younger brother in the chest once more, stumbling at his own force. He had left his cane at the door, making him unbalanced. Ludwig quickly forced himself between the two brothers protectively, his back to Feliciano.
"Lovino what the hell are you doing?" The German yelled, attempting to push the older Italian further away. "Have you lost your mind?"
"Were you in on it too? Was this whole thing your fucking idea?" Lovino yelled, trying to get to his brother but being prevented by his brother's tank of a boyfriend.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Ludwig asked, holding his arms out slightly at his sides as he dodged in front of the hysterical Italian.
"Him!" He pointed to Feliciano, stepping back from Ludwig's bulky body. "You blackmailed Antonio, told him not to see me." Feliciano's eyes flashed with something before turning cold with anger.
"What?" Ludwig turned to look at Feliciano in surprise, seeing almost as much rage in his eyes as in Lovino's.
"You told him!" Feliciano turned towards a timid Antonio; and the Spaniard seemed to curl in on himself as the other advanced.
"So it is true?" Lovino asked rhetorically, just as shocked as he was angry. "How could you do this to me? What the hell is wrong with you, you sick fuck!" His voice broke, sadness and loneliness overcame him. He believed Antonio, but part of him hadn't wanted to believe that his brother could do something like that to hurt him, he had hoped it had all been some kind of misunderstanding.
"If you were worth so much to him, he would still have visited!" Feliciano shouted defensively. "He chose his job over you. He clearly doesn't care about you as much as you care for him."
Lovino hadn't been expecting that, and he froze in response, staring at Antonio. He tried to think of some way he could defend Antonio's actions, he wanted to blame himself or his brother, even Ludwig. Anyone but Antonio. But he couldn't deny his brother's words, as hurtful as they may have been. "My brother is right."
Antonio seemed then to just break. Physically overcome with desperation, he reached out and grabbed Lovino's sleeve. "No, please-" His body was hunched and shaking.
"Yes he is! If you really cared you could have come, but you didn't." He sighed and shook his head slowly, rubbing his tired face. "You abandoned me, Antonio. You left me, alone." He stared into the face of the man he would have given anything for. "You are a coward." All the time alone, all the time spent staring at a wall wishing someone would talk to him came rushing back.
"Lovino please, you have to understand-" He clung tighter to the sleeve as if his life would end if he let go.
Lovino was bursting with emotions, too complex for him to feel just one. His feelings were turbulent and inexplicable. "I can see it now. You are a coward and you lied to me and acted as if you gave a damn, when in reality I was nothing to you."
"No!" Antonio released Lovino's sleeve and gripped the dirty curls of his hair tightly in his hands, hunching forward defensively, shaking his head in denial.
"Stop denying what is true!"
"Please, stop!" He cried out, tears falling from his face to the floor.
"Why didn't you come?"
"Stop it-"
"Why?!"
"I can't-"
"Tell me!" He yelled, gripping Antonio's arms, pulling him up and shaking him.
"Because then I would have had nothing!" Antonio cried out in an agonized voice, gripping the front of Lovino's shirt. "I wouldn't have had you, I would have been fired and then no one would ever hire me again! I lost you, my job is all I have left, but now even that's fucked." He sobbed loudly, holding Lovino's shirt so tightly that his knuckles whitened and his hands trembled.
Lovino froze; everyone was staring at the older man in confusion. He was a wreck and it was pitiful to watch. Ludwig looked around in confusion and noticed Feliciano was refusing to look at him. Instead he was fixated on the destroyed Antonio, not noticing how hard he was biting his lip until blood swelled around his teeth. "I don't understand…" Ludwig said quietly, "why would you lose your job?"
Feliciano sighed softly, turning further away from Ludwig, not wanting to see the betrayal on his face. "Because he is-"
"Don't." Antonio snapped, looking up and wiping his face on his sleeve. "This has nothing to do with you, you have no right."
Feliciano glared at Antonio, "You tell him then, because I am sick of this." Ludwig couldn't see him, but he could tell by his voice. Feliciano was crying. It wasn't the loud wailing he usually did, but silent tears he only ever did in his sleep. It broke his heart and dispelled any anger he had towards his boyfriend.
Antonio looked up at Feliciano, who nodded reluctantly. He swallowed nervously and turned to Lovino. "I-I…" He coughed and straightened up, taking a deep breath to calm himself. "Lovino, I'm in love with you." He looked into unreadable hazel eyes, seeking comfort from them that was not there. "I know it's wrong, and I hate myself for it, but I am. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for it to happen, I swear. With time I'm sure I can get over it, just…please, don't hate me? I really can't deal with losing you." He closed his eyes sadly, not wanting to see Lovino's reaction.
Lovino exhaled sharply through his nose, like an angry bull, and then slapped Antonio with the back of his hand. Feliciano gasped at the sharp sound of skin-on-skin. Lovino turned and walked to the door but froze as he gripped the handle, playing with it slightly. He turned and hurried back to Antonio, gripped him by the front of his shirt and pulled him into a kiss. Their lips touched and Lovino felt a sudden spark of heat within him, filling him with the warmth he had missed for so long. He sucked Antonio's bottom lip into his mouth slightly and nibbled it playfully. He loved the feeling of Antonio smiling against his mouth. He pulled away, "Idiot…" he laughed slightly, barely believing what was happening. "I swear to God, if you're fucking with me I'll cut your balls off." Antonio laughed and kissed him again, knowing that their problems were not yet over but enjoying the feeling of life returning to him.
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...and they all lived happily ever after right? RIGHT?! well we'll see XD
Theres still a few chapters to go! (hopefully they wont take as long as this one did -6hours-) I need to practice writing more D: I love it, I've just been so busy applying for university that I haven't written properly for a while -hidesinshame- but I have to admit I feel so...relieved? Like this chapter was stressing me out without me realising it or something? it's strange XD IDK I'm just so happy this one's done~
I love you guys! Your reviews are so lovely, and they've really helped with getting me through such a hectic time. You guys have always been here for me and its just such a beautiful thing. So when I say I love you guys I mean it very much! You guys are the absolute best (Getting all teary and shit so I better go now XD)
~Oresama
