A Secret Admirer: The Stalking of Severus Snape

Chapter 29: Help Wanted

Aurora Sinistra rushed back to Septima Vector's quarters.

"Mia, I think Snape may have had a hand in it. Well, partly, but perhaps he is not fully responsible. He denied everything outright, naturally," said Aurora.

"I pretty much know he is not the secret admirer," replied Septima. "He hates me as we very well know."

"Er, Mia, I was reading The Daily Prophet today. Did you happen to read it yet?"

"No."

"Well, you are familiar with some of the gifts you have been receiving?"

"Yes, the roses are lovely and…"

"No, Septima, not the roses in particular. The, er, cockroach clusters, the black cloak, and the, er, blood…blood lollipops?"

"Yes why?"

"Well, I was perusing the Prophet and a certain section of the paper….for match-making…er, not for myself, you see. And there is a section of the paper devoted to…"

"What is it called?"

"Vampire seeking vampire," Aurora hesitated.

"All right then…go on. I guess creatures of the night need companionship, too."

"That's not it. There is this one ad…"

"What about it?" Once Septima asked, she paused. She had a feeling she did not want to hear the rest.

"Septima, you didn't by any chance place a dating ad where vampires could contact you?" Aurora gulped and put a hand to her face.

"NO!" shrieked Septima, "Absolutely not!"

"Good…good. Now all we have to do is inform the paper…and Sanguini," said Aurora with some cheerful effort. "I just saw another package in your mailbox and he finally signed his name."

Septima could not speak and then she muttered softly, "He didn't. He couldn't have. He would nev…"

"Yes, Mia. I am sorry to say I am afraid Snape did."

In no less than five minutes, Septima Vector and Aurora Sinistra were at Death's Doorstep, or Professor Snape's office.

"You dunderheads may have nothing productive to occupy your hours, but why continue to be habitually bothersome towards those who are engaging in constructive activities?" sneered Professor Snape, as he slowly looked up from the parchment on his desk.

He refrained from sharing the latest parchment with them:

I've lost my breath

Out of devotion to you

Like an elderly person being crucioed.

The woman who had disguised herself as a veela was frightening. Nevertheless, something was wrong with these two dolts. He could tell by their expression.

Charon, his owl, rolled his eyes and nodded in agreement with his owner.

"No, Charon! You…you stay! I am sure you had something to do with this as well," shouted Septima.

"Nobody would dare give orders to my owl, Vector, except myself," Snape informed Professor Vector haughtily.

It was then that Aurora Sinistra finally addressed Professor Snape in a matter of fact tone. "The day you purchased him from Eeylops…he never stood a chance."

"Funny that you would be here again….how lucky must I be, to have the good fortune of being graced with your odious presence twice in one day, Sinistra."

Charon, the owl, refrained from commenting. He had been gifted to Snape by the Malfoys but that was none of the dolts' business. Snape had raised him, coached him in the ways of Slytherin House, and these two were completely out of line!

Aurora visibly blanched. She thought she saw Snape's owl shoot them a filthy look.

"I know you placed the vampire seeking vampire ad in the Prophet, Snape. No one else would stoop so low. May I ask why? Any chance I may get the truth?" asked a frustrated Septima Vector.

"Ah, so now I see the reasoning behind this rude intrusion. I know nothing, of course. I am completely in the dark regarding your…advertisement. I must admit I wouldn't be half surprised if you placed the ad yourself and came here to place the blame on me so as not to, er, what is the muggle expression… blow your cover. Do you still deny it, Vector?' Snape's smirk was pure evil and had the effect he had intended.

Professor Vector was beside herself.

"Oh, no, you fool! You are NOT turning this around on me!" she screeched. "I didn't place the ad, you bloody moron. YOU did! Do you deny it?" Septima Vector took long, slow inhalations and tried to calm her temper and her hurt.

She felt a bit calmer in a moment and she and Aurora could not believe what Professor Snape did next.

"As your former mentor, I may still be of assistance," Snape offered casually.

"You…help her?" squealed Aurora. "I fail to see the connection."

"I do not believe I was addressing you, Sinistra. Refrain from speaking out of turn or I will have to insist…or perhaps do something that will make you leave my presence." His eyes, twin pools of evil, shot Aurora down and she stopped dead in her tracks.

"What are you doing, Snape?" asked Septima.

Professor Snape arose from his chair to his full height noiselessly and handed a hastily, yet elegantly scrawled piece of parchment to his owl. When his owl took off in a rush, he turned to slowly address the two women.

"Why I am merely renewing my standing order of blood lollipops at Honeydukes to be delivered to your door promptly at two every afternoon. Now that I have my most solid piece of evidence confirming the allegations I have made all along, why can I not offer nourishment to a vampire…and safeguard the school from harm, rather only the students from my house, Slytherin? The proof," he paused deliberately and held up a copy of the ad, "is in the paper." He threw it down to make a point. His smirk grew wider into what could only be described as a sort of sickly-sweet grin.

"Actually, I would like to point out a few things regarding the caption beneath the picture."

"There…there is a picture," Septima turned milk white.

"If you will allow me, of course, Vector, and if you will not, I intend to proceed anyway."

Before Professor Snape could offer commentary on the ad, he handed it over to Professor Vector.

"Read it," his voice was low and deep.

She froze and failed to speak.

"Perhaps I will have to do it for you. Very well,"

He began to read very slowly and emphasized certain words…

Vampire seeking vampire

Lonely for companionship? I enjoy nocturnal jaunts in the Forbidden Forest, blood lollipops, warm blood, cockroach clusters,(more than likely hag blood somewhere in the family ) black robes, preying on unsuspecting students and non-vampires. My dearest ambition in life is to add to our vampire ranks.

I am desperately seeking a male vampire with above said interests. I am plain, with seemingly unremarkable features, intellect, or personality. Might I add, that if you are as desperate as I, this may not pose a problem. I am a simple, female vampire with simple tastes and simple intellect, though in denial for a time, I am truly a full-fledged creature of the night.

You can owl me at…

"Quite endearing, Vector," he smirked with relish.

And that is when Professor Vector was sure that Professor Snape had placed the advertisement and that she would never have anything to do with him again, nor ever forgive him.

She took the ad from him wordlessly and noticed that above the caption was an obviously and somewhat doctored photo of herself.

Septima's naturally peaches and cream complexion was chalk white. Her eyes were as large as saucers. There were two fangs protruding from the sides of her upper lip and a trickle of blood was at both corners of her mouth.

Snape's owl, she observed, was resting calmly on a perch in Snape's office. The owl was rolling his eyes around the room and failing to fixate on any one object for long. He seemed to be avoiding eye contact with her.

It was then that she noticed something in his claw that she must have overlooked when he returned.

Aurora noticed something in Charon's claw too and went to investigate. After a long, drawn out scuffle, in which Charon's eyes dared her to touch him again, or else. She managed to grab the parchment from Charon.

"It is a receipt from Pfeiffer's Photo Phantasia," exclaimed Aurora.

Charon, when addressed only by his master, Professor Snape, claimed that yes, it was quite coincidental, but he had no idea how it got in his claw.

Snape stared into his owl's eyes and translated for the women. They most likely knew nothing about legilimancy. Snape failed to see how they were even qualified to instruct at all.

Snape's owl, with interpretation by his master, pointed out that although Vector and Sinistra were vapid and possessed low mental capacity, even they could deduce that the real culprit had tried to frame him with the receipt knowing as most of the wizarding world did, how much he detested and loathed Professors Vector and Sinistra. The guilty party gathered how easy it would be to frame Charon Snape, he would imagine. Charon estimated that this was a calculating, yet, he must admit, sly and perceptive move on behalf of his framer.

A plot, he added, even the great Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, author of Sherlock Holmes, wouldn't have dreamt of imagining.

Snape nodded in agreement with his owl.

Charon also acknowledged the fact that his master, Professor Snape, should not even dignify this with an explanantion to Sinistra and Vector. They wouldn't be able to digest the finer points of espionage and framing a helpless victim like himself anyway.

Charon sat calmly on his perch and told his master that he would close his eyes and sleep for he was positive there would be no further questioning. Yet, if he could be of further assistance, his master need not hesitate to wake him.

Aurora and Septima both turned to Snape. "You are evil and so is your owl," shouted Vector.

"Please, Vector, you need not thank me for the blood lollipops." replied Snape lazily.