Chapter 29

What's Wrong With Me

Over the next two weeks, Hermione and Draco's lives had finally become closer to normal than they had been in more than a month. Both of them began regular classes again and took the time after classes when they were in their room, to study and do assignments. It was important to Hermione more so than Draco to catch up. He didn't really see the point in it, but went along with her to avoid being scrutinized over about his lack of being studious.

Their time with Ron, Harry, and Gunny, was more frequent mainly because Hermione and Draco were both as equally smart and their three friends took advantage of that. Hermione was bothered more by their constant questions than Draco. He was willing to help them to keep from actually having to do his studying. He took more time helping them than Hermione liked, but she was grateful not to have to do it herself. The fact that Draco and her friends got along so well never ceased to amaze her. She expected him to be civil to them but he had exceeded her expectations and for that she was thankful.

It's a beautiful Saturday morning at Hogwarts and Hermione has resumed her usual, doing-nothing-but-reading routine. She and the others decided to go outdoors and sit on a blanket, under their favorite tree beside the lake, but she is the only one that is studying. Draco tried to talk her out of it, but her answer was; 'Draco, I've already missed too much class, you and I both have. We need to catch up and if you will not, then so be it, but I refuse to be behind. Being muggle born most expect me to fail at this and I refuse to do that.'

She was right. They were behind, but it didn't matter. The Headmaster, himself, pardoned them from any and all assignments or exams that were given during their time of recovery. So, Draco didn't see the point in going over it. He already knew all he needed to know. He and Hermione were both at the normal seventh year standard, Hermione perhaps more advanced, Harry and Ron, however, were lacking a bit. Draco knew, as well as all of the others at Hogwarts, that Hermione was probably the brightest witch of their age but this didn't seem to matter to her. She still insisted on reading any book she could lay her hands on. But maybe this was what had drawn Draco to her, the fact that she was so determined in all that she did. She didn't accept failure and he hadn't been raised to do so either. They were more alike than either of them ever knew.

The two boys, Ron and Harry, decided, in their defense, their falling behind was caused by worrying about Hermione and Draco. 'Honest.' Harry said, avoiding the suspicious look on Hermione's face. She wasn't going to be hoodwinked by either of them, she knew them too well to listen to and or believe their lies. But they put up such a fuss sometimes she would rather just nod and smile than have to fight with them about it.

Ginny quickly became bored because Hermione was studying and the three boys were talking amongst them selves so she decided to go for a walk around the lake, it wasn't like she had anything better to do. She stood up, brushed the wrinkles from her skirt, and turned her back to the group to walk off.

"Gin, where are you off to?" Hermione asked not looking up from her book.

Draco, Harry, and Ron all looked at one another; they were puzzled at how Hermione had actually broken away from her precious books to notice someone was leaving. If they had done that, they were sure she wouldn't have noticed.

Ginny turned around, "I'm just going to go for a walk around the lake." She smiled and began walking away again.

"I'll come with you. I need a break anyway." Hermione stood up and put her book down beside Draco. Ginny stopped yet again to wait on her friend. She hadn't expected Hermione to notice she was leaving let alone for her to actually want to join her.

Draco looked up at Hermione with his brow furrowed, "What? You're going with Ginny but you wouldn't sit here with us and talk?"

Hermione whirled around to face him, "That's right, I'm going for a walk with my friend and you boys can do what you like. Why don't you all take this as a study time? I expect you need it." With her last comment she looked directly into Ron and Harry's faces.

Draco shook his head, "Fine, go with her. Us boys will just sit here and talk about you."

'Oh great, he's become a three year old.' Hermione smirked to her self.

She rolled her eyes and grabbed Ginny by the hand, "Come on Gin." Turning her head back toward Draco, Harry, and Ron, she said, "You boys do what you like, I don't care."

With that, Hermione dragged a rather befuddled Ginny away with her.

Ron's face screwed up in confusion as he repeatedly looked from Hermione's back to Draco. "What's that all about?"

Draco shrugged. "I don't know."

He wasn't sure why Hermione had seemed angry. He couldn't recall making her mad at any point in the day but assumed it had something to do with his not studying like she wanted him to. But he didn't feel like it, the school year was almost over and he was doing fine in all of his classes; he didn't see any reason to try any hearder than he had to . There were too many other things on his mine, like graduation, Hermione's being pregnant, and their having to plan their wedding. They still hadn't really talked about any of it but he couldn't think of a way to bring it up to her while she was studying. That was something he would rather not interrupt.

Harry laughed then automatically his face turned back to a more serious expression. "I'm sorry about that."

He found it rather comical that Hermione had been so short with them thought he wasn't sure what made it seem that way. It was just that he wasn't used to her being that way with anyone but Ron and on occasion him, so it was a pleasant surprise. But he really hadn't meant to laugh, and as it seemed, it wasn't the appropriate thing to do.

Draco sneered, but it wasn't his normal 'Malfoy' sneer, he was simply showing Harry he could be mean, if he wanted to.

Ron pulled at some grass beside the blanket and threw it down. "I'm not studying, it's the weekend and I've got better things to do." He often pouted like this when he knew Hermione was angry be it with him or his friends. One could say he was a bit too sensitive thought he didn't want to show it around the guys.

Harry chuckled again, "Right, like what? Snog with Lavander?"

Ron threw his most recent clump of grass at Harry, hitting him in the face with it, "At least I can snog with someone, unlike a certain black haired bloke I know." He crossed his arms over his chest and put on a mock hurt face.

Draco sat back against the tree and admired the fact that Ron and Harry were having a disagreement. It was true; after all, Harry Potter was just like anyone else and as it would seem, so was Ron. Harry wasn't as special as everyone had made him out to be. And this is what amused Draco, the fact that the great Potter and his best mate were disagreeing. He wasn't being cruel with his slight laughter, more like poking fun.

"You two are quarreling like and old married couple, can't you take it down a notch or two? I mean really, who cares who you two snog with… or…" He looked toward Harry and his smile widened into more of a Cheshire cat grin as he continued, "In Harry's case, who you don't snog with." Draco laughed as he thought about the fact that he had just sided with Ron in the battle against Harry.

Harry put on a look that made him appear to be very hurt by Draco and Ron's comments, but in reality, he was playing along. It had been so long since he and Ron had been without worry about Hermione, and really, he had never joked with Draco, so it was a good venture for all of them. Draco included, because they were his only friends.

It was disappointing that all of Draco's friends had turned their backs on him and that his family didn't care if he lived or died. He often thought about that and also the time he was in the bath room and heard his mother's voice. But he didn't need any of them. He had Hermione and that was enough for him. He was relieved though, that he hadn't heard his mother's eerie voice again. He still hadn't an explanation for it but tried not to think on it. He kept that as far into the back of his brain as he could, simply because it was just creepy and he didn't want to think that it could have actually been her and she was displeased with his actions.

He hadn't mentioned it to Hermione or Harry, Ron, and Ginny either. He didn't want them to think he was going crazy. It was bad enough he thought he was mad he didn't want them to agree with him. And since he hadn't heard it again, he passed it off as a figment of his imagination or just some hissing pipes.

It gave him a better piece of mind to just think it was a figment of his imagination than to think it could have actually been real. He didn't like the feeling he had gotten when he heard his mother's words. It wasn't something he expected anyone would like to hear, hearing the words of a dead loved one.


Hermione and Ginny walked around the lake, more directly to the other side. Hermione wasn't angry with Draco or any of the others really, she just decided to take a walk with Ginny and do some 'girl' talking. It had been so long since she was able to talk with Ginny without having Draco around, and she just needed a break. There were so many things on her mind and she didn't know how to speak her mind at the present time. Usually she didn't have a problem doing it, but for some reason every time she tried to say something her words caught in her throat.

But she wasn't sure how to even talk to Ginny about her problems. She didn't think anyone would understand or even care too much. But she was wrong about that, her friends and Draco cared more than she knew. She was important to each and every one of them. She had always been there when they needed her and they wanted her to know they were there for her too, though some showed it better than others.

"So, Hermione, what's wrong? You were a bit snappy with the guys." Ginny said as she pulled her red locks into a pony tail.

Hermione shrugged, "Nothing's the matter. I just think they should take school a bit more serious, I know they've been skiving off their studies, and it's time they get back into the swing of things. We've less than three months before graduation, they could use the good grades."

She didn't want to bother Ginny with her problems. She didn't even know why she was worrying about certain things so much.

Ginny gave a half crooked smile, "Oh sure, you guys are just going to leave me here to rot next year. Thanks for that."

Hermione rolled her eyes and stopped walking, "I would take you with us if I could. But you've got tons of friends besides us, really."

Ginny stood in front of Hermione and looked down then smiled, "Yeah, I guess. Besides I can understand you wanting to get out of here what with the baby and all."

Hermione's only response was a nod.

Ginny continued walking; she figured it was best not to push the subject since Hermione didn't seem to care to talk about it. Hermione let Ginny get a few feet in front of her before she caught up and quickly walked past her.

Ginny grabbed Hermione by the arm and pulled her back, "Hermione, now I know there is something you aren't telling me and I don't appreciate it. I understand why you didn't tell me about Draco at first, but I can't stand you keeping secrets. This isn't fair, I am your best girl friend and you need to tell me when something is happening in your life. I would do the same and you know it."

Hermione sighed as Ginny loosened her grip and eventually let go of her friends arm. "You're right. Gin, I'm sorry. It's just… just… I'm scared, Ginny."

Ginny's face softened and her eyes glistened as she gazed at Hermione, "Scared of what?"

Hermione lowered her head and leaned against her friends shoulder, "I'm just afraid of what's going to happen. I'm going to marry Draco and we're going to have this baby. But what about you and Harry and Ron and… Snape… What if he gets out of it? What if the Ministry lets him go? And what are you and Harry and Ron going to do? I know you all don't like Draco still, and I understand, but I can't lose you guys, you're my friends and I love you. You've always been there for me… I can't do this alone."

Ginny smiled and patted Hermione's back, "It's all going to be alright. You'll see. They are not going to let Snape go, they can't. There's too much evidence against him, no matter what he says about He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. There not one person that thick in the entire Ministry. And don't worry so much about Ron, Harry, and I, we're not going anywhere. As far as Draco is concerned, I don't hate him. Actually, I think I'm quite fond of him, not in the same way you are, but I like him just fine. It seems Harry and Ron do as well, well Harry probably more so than Ron, but that's to be expected. And you're not alone in this; you've got us as well as Draco."

Hermione leaned away from the comfort of Ginny's shoulder, "What if he doesn't want to marry me? What if he decides to just leave? What if…"

She didn't have time to finish her thought when Ginny cut in, "Honestly, Hermione Jane Granger, I would think you of all people would know he is not going to do that! Have you not looked at the boy? Every time he looks at you his face brightens and the only thing anyone can see in his eyes is you, surely you can see it too."

Hermione shook her head and stared at a tree in the distance, not looking Ginny in the face. "Sure, he has that now but what about six months from now? What will happen then? He's going to change. These things never last. I'm just going to be discarded like trash once he gets better. He's going to leave me to take care of the baby and never look back."

Ginny slapped Hermione's arm lightly, "It will last. You love him and he loves you, it's more than obvious to everyone around you. Why is it that you can't see it? He is not; I will repeat that, he is not going to leave you. Look at my mum and dad and yours and even Harry's. They all stayed together and for Merlin's sake, Hermione, if Harry's parents were still alive, I know they would be together too. And do you know why that is?" She didn't wait on Hermione to respond, "It's because they are in love. Head over heals, reaching for the stars, in love. It's something that holds people together in the darkest of times. My mum and dad have had their share of fights and spats, but you know what, they're still in it and that's because they know love will conquer all. Do you honestly think if he was going to leave you he would have proposed to you in front of the whole school? Because I do not."

Hermione knew Ginny had a valid point. She didn't know why she doubted Draco; it was just something that had been bothering her. Of course, she didn't mention it to him because she didn't want to upset him but she had to tell someone. She had so many things on her mind it was driving her insane.

"I know, Ginny, I know they are all still together but look at what happened to Lucius and Narcissa. Don't you think they were in love? I don't want anything like that to happen with Draco and me. I mean, no, I don't want him to kill me or anything, and I don't think he would, I'm just pointing out a fact." Hermione said trying to reason with her friend.

"Hermione, Lucius Malfoy has never loved anyone in his whole life outside himself. He didn't love his wife, he didn't love his son; it's just something he chose to do. Draco is nothing like his father. Look, he chose you over all of Slytherin and over his family, that's got to mean something. Narcissa was weak, she let her husband hit not only her but her son, the son she was supposed to protect and love over all others. You are not weak like she was. You're nothing like her. He's not going to turn out like that, I promise." Ginny's hand found it's way once again to Hermione's back as she spoke.

Hermione tried to find comfort in her friend's words, but for some reason she could not. She didn't want her life to end up being like Draco's parents. She didn't wan her child to be raised the way Draco had been for so many years. She didn't want to have to be a single mother at the age of eighteen. But what she didn't know is that Draco would never ever do any of those things to her and that Snape was never going to get out of the Ministry's custody.

Hermione didn't speak once Ginny had finished her speech so Ginny decided to go on. "Hermione, you know you're my best friend, but you have to be one of the dumbest smart people I have ever met."

Hermione's mouth fell open at Ginny's statement and she stared at her with her brown eyes wide. She hadn't quite expected something like that to come out of her best friend's mouth. And what was more she is older than Ginny but Ginny seems to be making more logic of her life than she could.

Ginny continued, "No, now don't give me that look. You know it's true. After all of the things I've pointed out to you, you still won't believe me. I think you just need to go and talk with Draco about all of these things. Tell him how you feel so he can be the one to assure you that what I've said is true."

Hermione closed her mouth and her eyes regained their normal size. "I suppose you're right." She turned away from Ginny and began walking, "Come on, I'm going to talk with him about it right now."


Harry, Ron, and Draco were still arguing when Ginny and Hermione joined them. Hermione hadn't waited for and greetings when she spoke, looking directly at Draco.

"We need to talk."

Draco's face quickly turned from a smiling, jovial one to a serious, worried one. He looked from Hermione to Ginny before he answered. "Okay."

Ginny swallowed hard, she didn't think what Hermione had to say was too terrible, but that was the way Hermione had made it seem. "Harry, Ron, why don't we take a walk?"

Hermione didn't look away from Draco when she answered for Harry and Ron, "No, you can all stay here; Draco and I are going to go."

Draco's face still showed his confusion as he shakily stood to his feet and propped himself on his cane.

Harry and Ron exchanged glances then finally gave weak smiles to Draco and waved as Hermione tugged on his sleeve for him to follow her.

"Mine, I can't walk far you know I can't." He said as they took their first few steps.

Hermione stopped walking and looked behind her at Draco's chair. With a frustrated sigh she quickly moved for it and pushed it into the back of Draco's knees which caused him to automatically sit down. If anyone else had done that, Draco would not have been happy about it, but he knew there was something bothering Hermione so he opted to just let this one slide. It wasn't as if he was hurt or anything and mentioning it to her would more than likely upset her more and that was not a risk he was willing to take.

Hermione pushed Draco in his chair quickly away from their three friends but remained silent. She was working things out in her head. Trying to figure out how to best phrase what she wanted to say. The way she presented her problems to Ginny, she knew, would probably upset Draco and that was not what she was trying to do.

As it would seem her pregnancy had made her pretty emotional and at times it was impossible for her to say anything to anyone with out offending them. But she was only seven weeks pregnant and that is not normal. She supposed it was because of all of the other things that had gone on since she and Draco had gotten together that really caused her mood swings. She didn't try to upset people or come off with harsh tones, those were just things that happened to her; she didn't have control over them.

Once she and Draco were well out of sight, Hermione stopped pushing him near the bank of the lake. She stood behind him for a long while and did not speak. But it was him that broke the silence first.

"Mine, what's wrong?" His head swiveled around so he could see her face as he asked his question.

Hermione didn't look him in the face instead she closed her eyes and sighed. "I don't know what's wrong with me Draco."

He placed his cane on the soft earth and pushed himself up. Once he was steady, he walked around the chair to where Hermione stood and wrapped one arm around her. "There isn't anything wrong with you."

Hermione relaxed her body into his and snuggled her face into his neck. "There is something wrong with me. Why do I feel like you are going to leave me?"

Draco groaned. He hadn't expected this from her. Sure he knew something was bothering her but he never would have dreamed that it would have been this. "Hermione, you should know by now that I am not going to leave. I'm not going anywhere ever."

Hermione pulled away from him and looked deep into his eyes. She was searching for any sign that he was lying. To her surprise, she couldn't find one. As it appeared to her, he was telling her the truth. "Draco, how many times have you said that to other girls? And you left them didn't you. Like Pansy. How many times did you tell her you wouldn't leave her, then you and I get together and you dropped her like she was yesterday's news."

Draco was getting slightly frustrated. He had told Hermione countless times that she was a totally different person from Pansy and he expected her to listen to him. He had never lied to before her and she knew that, why did she think he would lie to her now? He was caught off guard by her question and didn't really know of a proper response. He stood there for a few moments trying to think of something to say but all that came out was.

"I am not a liar, Hermione. I don't base my life on lying to you or those around me."

A/N: I do hopw you guys like this one. I don't really think it's great but maybe you will :) Please read and review! And just so you know, I've had to reupload this one, it was point out that I had uploaded the whole document into one chapter, thanks for letting me know :) Sway