Chapter 29 - Rescue


no no no no no

"Bella…"

no no no no no

"Just breathe normally, okay? Regular breaths, nice and slow…"

noooooooo

"Should I give her more lorazepam?"

"Are you kidding? We're not trying to bring down a horse. Just give it time to kick in. Remember, an IM injection takes about as long to show an effect as oral."

"What about the hyperventilation mask?"

"Keep it on for another minute. I think she's calming down."

Hearing is the first thing to normalize as the rushing noise subsides in my ears. My nerve endings come to life next, and I sense that I'm lying on a thinly carpeted floor.

"Bella, can you open your eyes?"

I struggle to comply, but my eyelids feel heavy and stiff. There seem to be two shadowy figures bending over me. I can't make out any of their features.

"It's alright, hon, take your time with that. Do you feel pain anywhere?"

They remove the mask from my nose and mouth. I try to take stock of my body, but it feels as if my head is full of mud and all my thoughts must slog through a vast mire to reach their destination.

"I…think I'm okay." My voice is low and raspy, my mouth is dry. "What…happened?"

I'm able to discern a worried glance exchanged between the two nurses. Their faces are in much sharper focus now.

"We were hoping you might be able to tell us," says the younger-looking female—Kendra, according to the breast pocket of her scrubs.

"I don't…I can't…"

Drowsiness weighs down my memories and colors them dark shades of gray. There's a buzz deep inside my mind, a low vibration. It makes me think I'm forgetting something, that I'm missing an important piece of information—maybe more than one piece. But the pull of sedative is too strong to overcome, and I can only blink in confusion.

"Don't worry, hon. We'll figure it all out later, okay?" says the other nurse...Kate, I think. "There's a wheelchair here; can you help us get you into it?"

With their assistance, I'm able to stand and maneuver into the seat. My head is heavy on my neck. It lolls from side to side as they wheel me out of the Day Room. I see blurry forms of fellow patients standing off to the side, openly curious about the evening's disruption.

"Oh my god, Bella! What's going on? Are you okay?"

Jessica's concerned voice echoes though the hallway. She ignores a warning from Kendra to stay back and keeps pace with the wheelchair. I concentrate on her wide blue eyes and try to organize my thoughts. For some reason, I feel the need to ask for her help. She knows me better than anyone else here. Perhaps she can figure out what's wrong and, even better, how to make it right.

If only I wasn't so tired…so sleepy. The sound of my heartbeat grows louder until it drowns out the rest of the world.

"…the paper…Jess…in the paper…find out…please…"

The wheelchair is pushed into my room. One of the nurses shuts the door to the hallway, and then they help me onto the bed. My eyes close immediately in dutiful submission as I collapse onto mattress. Whatever it is I need to do will have to wait.

o-O-0-O-o

I run as hard as I can, leaving trails of cold breath in my wake, but the thundering waves of white rush forward, bearing down on my insignificant form. Unerringly relentless, they won't be denied their prey. They swallow me up in their midst, engulfing me, burying me, suffocating me. My frenzied struggling is useless against their crushing force, and I have no choice but to surrender. As I am folded within the swells, a feeling of bleak finality settles in my bones, and with it, an all-encompassing stillness that stretches outward through the infinite.

But then comes a last hope: the faint sounds of muffled footsteps high above my wintry tomb and single forlorn voice, calling out my name. I try to respond. I yell back with everything in me. I scream and I cry and I plead. But heavy snow spills down my throat; my words collapse under the stifling weight. Emptiness descends once more, and there is nothing. I am nothing.

"Edward!"

I sit up with a start, my heart racing and my clothes drenched in sweat. Panic squeezes my chest as I kick the tangled sheets away from my legs and try to separate fiction from reality.

"Bella, it's Nurse Kate." The creaking of the door causes me to look across the room, where a female form enters from the dimly-lit hallway. "I'm going to turn on your bedside lamp, okay, hon?"

She begins taking my vitals the moment light splashes across the bed but doesn't get very far in the process. My head has cleared enough for awareness to return. I rip my arm out of her grasp and slide off the bed.

"Edward—he might be missing!" I cry. "I need my phone! I have to call Esme or Alice or—"

"Bella, calm down," Kate says firmly as she presses the call button that signals the nurses' station. "If you can't do that, we'll have to sedate you again." She takes a step toward me, but I wave her off with my hands.

"No, don't! Just—listen…I have to find out what happened. Please, just let me get in touch with his family. Please!"

The door opens again, and a man walks through this time. It's Dr. Cho, the psychiatrist who performed my initial evaluation the day I arrived. He's on the younger side but I recall him having a quiet, unassuming manner that was comforting. I'm ecstatic to see that he's on-call tonight. He can help me. He has to.

"Dr. Cho, I need to know about Edward!" I gasp as he approaches. "Do you remember me telling you about him—the Navy officer in Afghanistan?"

"Yes, Bella, I do. How about we sit down and talk about him?" He pulls a chair up to the bed and gestures for me to have a seat.

"No! I can't sit right now. I can't talk, either. I just can't…do anything until I find out if he's okay or not."

His apparent lack of concern enrages me. All the stress and frustration and anxiety that's been building up in me for weeks is coming to a head; my skin won't be able to contain it much longer. What little control I have over my emotions is slipping rapidly.

Dr. Cho must see this and nods his head. "I understand, and I want to help. But it will be easier on you if you relax a little first. I'd like to give you a dose of Ativ—"

"No, it makes me too drowsy!" Why can't they understand what it is I need? It's all I can do to keep from ripping my hair out or punching something…or someone. "If you want me to calm down, give me my goddamned phone!"

The doctor's dark eyes seem to assess me carefully for a moment, then he looks over to Kate and tilts his head toward the door. Her lips twist into a strange half-grin as she rushes out of my room.

"Nurse Thompson will be back in just a few minutes with your phone and one other…thing. While she's doing that, though, I need to tell you something."

I barely hear a word he says after I find out I'll be reunited with my phone. Numb hands twitch at my sides, desperate for an occupation, as I consider the best course of action. I'll take a shot in the dark and try Edward's number first. Perhaps I've gotten worked up over nothing. After all, it's possible his mission was in a completely different region than the ones devastated by weather. Or maybe he's already returned to a main operating base. He could be relaxing in bed or hanging out with friends at this very moment. My frenzied pulse slows as I take this hope and grab onto it tightly.

"…to confirm, the person you want to see is Edward Anthony Cullen, born June 20, 1980—correct?"

I hear the inflection of a question in Dr. Cho's voice and make myself focus on what he's saying.

"What? Edward? Yes, he's the one I told you about. I'm worried something might have happened to him in Afghanistan, and I need to—"

My eyes widen, and the sentence trails off into astonished silence as the door to my room slowly opens. My mouth gapes open.

There, standing at the threshold, wearing wrinkled clothes and an anxious expression on a stubble-covered face, is the very man I've been so worried about.

It's Edward.

He's here.


Ativan = brand name for lorazepam