This chapter is New Year's Eve. Edward leaves New Year's Day. Things are going to get rough from here on out.


Chapter Twenty Nine: The New Year

So this is the new year.

And I don't feel any different.

The clanking of crystal

Explosions off in the distance (in the distance).

So this is the new year

And I have no resolutions

For self assigned penance

For problems with easy solutions

So everybody put your best suit or dress on

Let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once

Lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn

As thirty dialogs bleed into one

I wish the world was flat like the old days

Then I could travel just by folding a map

No more airplanes, or speed trains, or freeways

There'd be no distance that could hold us back.

There'd be no distance that could hold us back

So this is the new year

-"The New Year" by Death Cab for Cutie


I had been dreading the New Years Eve party at the guys' house. It was also Edward's going away party. He was leaving the following morning and I felt sick every time I thought about it. But ignoring it didn't make it go away and it was there before I knew it. I got ready with Rosalie and Alice, doing my makeup and hair in a daze. My hair was long and straight and I pinned it partially back. My eyes were dark and smoky and my lips were a subtle rose color. I slipped into tight black pants and heels and buttoned on a deep blue satiny shirt that tied at the waist. The clothes were ones Alice had given me for Christmas and under normal circumstances I would have been thrilled with them, but that night I couldn't even focus on them. I stared at myself in the mirror and gently touched the necklace Edward had given me. I only took it off to sleep and shower and I knew he'd be pleased to see it on me.

I posed for photos with the girls and smiled when I saw the three of us together. Alice was adorable in a purple lace mini dress and Rosalie was her usual stunning self in a slinky black number. The guys were going to swallow their teeth. We were greeted enthusiastically when we left the guest bedroom and went downstairs to see them. Edward wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me close.

"You look incredible," he murmured against my hair.

"You look pretty hot yourself."

He had on black pants and a crisply ironed pale blue grey shirt. He kissed my forehead and gently touched my necklace with the tips of his fingers. He didn't say a word; he just smiled softly and his arms moved to my waist and tightened around me, drawing me close. We spoke quietly for a few minutes, talking softly, hesitant to let go of each other until Jasper asked for Edward's help getting a few things ready for the party. Shortly after, guests started to arrive. I helped the girls set up the drinks in the kitchen and greeted people as they came in. I recognized some of the guest from previous parties at the house and we'd invited Angela and Ben but I was too restless to stand and talk to anyone. I wandered into the living room to find Edward and ran into Emmett instead.

"Hey Em."

He smiled at me. "Hey. How's it going?"

"Really well. How about you?" I smiled at him, although it was forced. "Are things going well with Rosie?"

"She's amazing," he breathed.

"Everything you hoped for?"

"More."

"I'm so happy for you." I hugged him and he smiled down at me.

"Me too. How are things going with Edward?"

I swallowed a lump in my throat, hurting at the reminder that he was leaving tomorrow. "Good. We're having a lot of fun."

Emmett gave me a disapproving look. "You are so full of it."

"We are having fun," I protested.

"But that's not all. I can see it written all over both of you. You care about each other."

"Of course we do. We're friends."

"And more."

"Yes, and more. But don't try to make it more than it is."

"I'm not. I can see it so clearly. It's there, Bella."

"Emmett. I…I can't."

"You need to think about telling him how you feel."

"Not when he's leaving tomorrow."

Emmett sighed. "Bella…"

"Please Em, not tonight," I begged. I knew what he was trying to say, but I couldn't do it. There were enough nagging worries swirling around in my head without additional pressure from my friends.

"Fine. But if you're still 'together' or whatever when he gets back, you had better do something."

"I will." I gave him a fake smile that I knew he wouldn't buy, but he let it go. "Now tell me more about you and Rose."

"She's perfect," he sighed.

"You mean she's a raging bitch?" I smiled to let him know I was kidding.

"Yeah." He laughed. "But she's my raging bitch. And I love her."

"Wow. That seems…fast. She's only been back for a few weeks."

"I know. But she's it for me. I'm sure of it."

I squeezed his arm. "I'm so happy that it worked out for you. And I want to thank you for getting her to talk to me, and for being there when she needed you."

He nodded. "I didn't have to do as much as you'd think. She wanted to forgive you; she was just kind of lost."

"I know."

"I wish Edward weren't leaving. We're finally all back together."

"Yeah, me too," I said softly and he squeezed my hand. I hadn't talked much to Emmett about Edward, but somehow he seemed to understand. I cleared my throat. "I think I'm going to go get a drink and wander around for a bit."

"Sure thing." Emmett kissed my cheek and I disappeared back into the kitchen. I mixed myself a drink and stood at the table, staring blankly down at the drink in my hand trying not to break out in tears at the thought of Edward leaving the next day.

I finally roused myself from my stupor and wandered back into the hall. I saw Rosalie in the living room and I was hoping to pull her aside to talk to her for a few minutes. She waved and I made my way across the room to try to catch her but I got sidetracked by Angela and when I looked up, she was gone. I lost track of her and it was hours before I saw her again. I finally cornered her in the kitchen.

"Rose, can we talk for a few?"

She looked puzzled. The room was fairly empty other than a couple of random guys who were standing by the fridge debating the merits of bottles versus cans of beer and they didn't seem to be paying any attention to us.

"What's up Bella?" she asked.

"I just want to make sure things are ok with us," I said.

"Of course they are, I told you that last week."

"I know, I just wanted to be sure since I'm here with Edward and everything. If you're not cool with it…"

She smiled. "You're fine. It's no big deal, I have my Monkey Man now, I don't need your man too." Her words would have sounded harsh coming from anyone else but she winked and I knew she was just teasing.

"Monkey Man? Do I even want to know Rose?"

She grinned and took another sip of her drink. "That depends; looking for ideas?"

"Ideas for what?"

"To spice things up."

I laughed and nearly choked on what I was drinking. "No thanks, I think we have that covered."

"So what's it like with him?"

"What do you mean what's it like? You slept with him too." This conversation was getting more and more surreal.

"I know, but he never looked at me the way he looks at you."

"I'm not sure what you mean, Rose."

"He doesn't just want to fuck you; the man wants to keep you. You should see the way he looks when anyone else so much as glances at you."

I laughed, hopeful and nervous at the same time. "I think you're imagining things. Or you're drunk. Or both."

"Trust me, if a guy so much as makes a move toward you he starts acting all wiggy."

"Wiggy? I think you've been watching too many episodes of Buffy lately."

"I mean it though."

"Maybe he is a little…territorial sometimes," I said. "But it's not a big deal. He doesn't want to keep me, he's just…I don't know Rose. But I think you're imaging things. And like you should talk about being territorial."

She grinned, "Fair enough. Speaking of which, I am going to go remind my Monkey Man that his banana belongs only to me."

I snorted and waved her away. Warm arms slid around my waist and I shivered.

"What was that about bananas?" Edward's voice was low in my ear and his breath felt hot against my skina.

"Nothing you want to hear about. Some little thing Rose and Emmett having going on. I'm quite sure I don't want to know any more of the details."

"Probably not. So what else were you guys talking about? Please tell me your entire conversation wasn't about Emmett's banana."

I wondered how much of the conversation he'd heard. "Oh. Just making sure she was cool with things. With both of us being here."

"And what's the verdict?" He nuzzled my neck and I felt my brain turn to mush.

"Oh um. She's good."

"And how are you?"

Fuck, I was having trouble focusing and it didn't have anything to do with the two drinks I'd had. "I'm…I'm good too."

"Just good?" He wasn't doing anything but softly brushing his lips across my neck and behind my ear but I was weak in the knees and incredibly turned on.

"Yep. Good. I mean, no…I mean. Fuck. I can't focus."

He laughed. "Am I distracting you?"

"Maybe?" I squeaked.

He laughed and it was low and warm sounding. "What do you need to be focusing on anyway? We could always just go upstairs…and then you can forget all about everything else."

The things his voice was doing to me were obscene. "That sounds nice."

His lips pulled away and I managed to regain enough control of my brain to say, "Wait, we probably should go mingle or something. It is your party."

He spun me around in his arms until I was facing him. "Fuck my party."

I laughed. "That's a lot of people. You're probably going to have to get started right away."

"You know you're the only one I want," he growled. His lips teased along my collarbone and I moaned.

"Edward, you're killing me here…"

"That's the plan…"

"Edward!" Alice came barging in. "There's a problem with the playlist. Someone fucked with it and for some reason it froze up, I don't know what's going on with your laptop."

"Can't Jasper fix it?" he grumbled, his head still against my throat.

"No, he said he wouldn't be held responsible for fucking up your nine billion mp3s."

"I am going to kill him," he muttered and then straightened up. "Fine. I'll be there in a sec." Alice disappeared back into the living room and he looked at me. "But you…we're continuing this later."

I shivered. "Is that a promise or a threat?"

"Maybe both." He took my hand and we walked into the living room. He fiddled with the computer for a few minutes and I got bored and wandered over to Alice.

"So how's it going other than the musical disaster?"

"Good." She beamed at me. "How are you doing?"

"I'm good. Things are going well with Rosie. She seems fine with everything."

"I'm glad." Alice hugged me. "How about with Edward?"

"What about it?"

"Are you going to tell him how you feel before he leaves?"

"Ugh, Ali…I really don't want to have this conversation right now."

"Is it that you don't want to have the conversation now or that you don't want to have it at all?"

"Both."

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "So I noticed that Edward's been rather territorial tonight."

"What do you mean?"

"Did you see the way the guy was staring at you in the kitchen?"

"What guy?" I asked, confused.

"Just some guy I noticed checking you out before Edward wrapped himself around you. He seemed kind of possessive."

"Did you and Rose plan this?" I snorted.

"Plan what?" Alice looked confused.

"Plan to both have this conversation with me. She told me the same thing and she thought he'd get all wiggy if another guy tried to go after me."

Alice's eyes gleamed and I knew that meant trouble. "We can always test that theory."

"Al, no. That is NOT a good idea. Remember, I'm aiming for less drama in my life, not more."

"But it'll be fun. I really want to see what would happen."

I rolled my eyes and begged her, "Please no. I really don't want to deal with it. He's leaving tomorrow, I just want to have a good night."

She sighed. "Fine. You're no fun."

"Probably true."

She went back to her conversation with the girl on her left and I looked around the room. Edward was still frowning at the computer but he looked up at me long enough to grin and wink. I sighed, doing things like that should be illegal in a public place. It made me want to rip off his clothes and have my way with him.

I wandered over to the bookcase to distract myself. I wasn't really in the mood to make small talk with random people. My brain was going a million miles an hour. I watched Emmett and Rosalie together and swallowed the lump in my throat that appeared when I saw them together. He had the biggest grin I'd ever seen on his face and she was glowing with happiness. I saw him scoop her up in his arms and spin her around. She shook her head and thumped him on the arm when he finally put her down, but her smile was nearly as big as his. He cradled her face in his massive hands and leaned down to give her a lingering, tender kiss. I wanted to cry seeing them so happy. I was thrilled for them, but I so desperately wanted that with Edward I could almost taste it. I glanced at him, watching him frown with concentration and I wanted to smooth the lines between his eyebrows and kiss them away.

I sighed and pulled a book off the shelf and was reading the back when I heard someone behind me say, "you look pretty engrossed in that."

I jumped in surprise. "You startled me." I turned around and there was a cute guy I'd never seen before standing there.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to." He smiled at me. "I'm Jack by the way. I noticed you earlier."

"Bella."

"So what book has you so enthralled?"

"Oh, um, The Moon is a Harsh Mistress. I've never read it before but I've read a lot of Heinlein's stuff. I loved Stranger in a Strange Land." I realized I was kind of babbling but I couldn't seem to stop.

"Hmm, so you're into books huh?" He sidled closer. "Because I can think of something a lot more fun. What do you say? You, me, one of the empty rooms upstairs..." He winked at me.

"Um…look…" I wasn't entirely sure how to respond other than to tell him that I was very definitely not interested in him. My brain scrambled to pull together an appropriate response. "Look Jack…I'm not..."

"She's with me." Suddenly Edward was behind me and he yanked me close. "Sorry buddy."

Annoyance flickered over the guys face. "Sorry dude, didn't know she was taken."

"She is."

"Didn't mean to go after your girlfriend."

I started to open my mouth to say that I wasn't Edward's girlfriend when he interrupted. "Just move along and we'll be fine."

"Right." The guy did some sort of weird macho head nod and walked away.

"What the hell was that Edward?" I turned around to look at him.

"He was leering at you Bella. It was creepy."

"Yeah, it was a little creepy but I can handle myself. I was just about to tell him that I wasn't interested and that he should leave me the fuck alone. You didn't have to come over here and start getting all wiggy…"

The words died in my mouth. Fuck. He had been acting weird. Either Alice and Rosalie were right or they had set me up. I paused, even if they had set me up, they were right. Edward had been about to flip out on the guy for flirting with me, he was being possessive.

"Wiggy?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Sorry, just a comment Rose made earlier."

"Why were you talking about Buffy?"

"Don't ask. Anyway, I can handle myself. You don't have to lie to the guy about us."

"I wasn't lying, you are taken." His eyes darkened. "In fact, right now I'm taking you up to my room. To hell with the rest of the party."

"That's not what I meant. I…" The rest of my sentence was cut off when his mouth touched mine.

He kissed me roughly and thoroughly and then said, "Stop talking, Bella. I can't wait any longer, we're going upstairs."

I wasn't opposed to disappearing with him for a while but I felt bad taking him away from the other guests. "We should probably at least stay down here until midnight. That's only another forty five minutes."

"I am not waiting forty five more minutes to have you. You're mine. Now." His finger traced down my spine. I shuddered and my brain turned to mush again.

"Edward…you're distracting me again."

"I know. But if you don't get your cute little ass in gear I'm going to throw you over my shoulder and carry you up there."

I squeaked, "No, I'm going. I can walk." And I tugged his hand toward the stairs.

"On the other hand, maybe I'll just carry you anyway. Show the jackass that you're taken."

"No, Edward…what are you doing…no…" I squealed as he picked me up and threw me on his shoulder and carried me through the party. I turned red when I heard a few catcalls. "God I'm embarrassed," I muttered.

"And turned on?" he asked hopefully. By then we were almost up the stairs and his shoulder dug into my stomach painfully.

"Oof. No, just embarrassed."

"We'll have to work on that then."

I was vaguely irritated with him and trying to sort out in my head what Edward's occasional jealous moments did to me. In a way, it was reassuring, it reinforced the fact the he did care about me. He'd certainly never been jealous or possessive over Rosalie. But I wasn't entirely comfortable with it.

And there was a difference between the two as well. I liked the idea of being his, of him possessing me. But jealousy implied that he didn't trust me. And while I knew we had no rules about who we could see, I didn't like the thought that he didn't trust that I wouldn't start flirting with some other guy at his party, the night before he left.

He walked into his room and locked the door behind us. He tossed me on the bed and grinned at me a little sheepishly. "So you're not into the caveman thing?"

"Not so much."

"That's too bad, because I kind of like being one."

"You might want to try that with someone else. It doesn't do much for me."

"You don't want to be rescued?"

"Nope, I'm just not the damsel in distress type."

"Bummer," he sighed. "Sometimes I just feel very protective of you."

"I appreciate the thought, but I don't like the macho crap. It really bothers me."

"I'm sorry. I just couldn't believe the stuff that jackass was saying." He sat down on the bed beside me.

I rolled my eyes. "It's not like I haven't heard shit like that before. I can take care of myself. Besides, it's no worse than anything you'd say to me."

"But it's different if I say it."

"How is it so different?"

"We're…together. I know you like me talking dirty to you. Did he really think you were just going to fall in bed with him because he fed you some lame line? You shouldn't have to put up with jerks like that. I wanted to make sure he knew that."

"I survived for eighteen years without you, Edward." I rolled my eyes again.

"But think how much better it is now that I'm around."

I laughed. "It certainly is more exciting."

"Let me remind you just how much."

He leaned down to kiss me and with a sigh I let go of my frustration. We could spend our last night together arguing, or enjoy the time before he left. It was an easy decision. I tugged at his clothing and he stood up to strip himself and then me. The mood quickly shifted, tension crackling through the air as he stared at my naked body on his bed, his eyes raking over me. I breathed shallowly, aware of how limited our time was. How desperate I was to get my fill of him.

"Lay on your stomach," he whispered and I turned over, my body shivering with anticipation before he even touched me. He ran his hands over my body, until my skin was tingling and sensitive. He placed a kiss in the middle of my back before lifting my hips a little to thrust two fingers inside of me.

"Edward," I groaned, arching my back to meet his thrusts.

"Tell me how it feels, Bella." He twisted his fingers as he stroked in and out of me.

"Fuck, so good," I gasped, thrusting back against him.

"Mmm, you like that?" His voice was raspy and I shivered, the sound of it went straight to my already throbbing clit.

"Yeah."

"Are you going to come for me?"

I moaned. "Yes, I'm close."

"I want to fuck you," Edward growled and grabbed my hips roughly to pull me back toward him. He positioned himself at my entrance and I pressed back against him. He held my hips still for a moment before thrusting deeply inside of me. I felt my head arch back and a deep groan ripped from my chest.

"Fuck you feel good," Edward said, thrusting deeply inside of me. "Talk dirty to me, Bella, tell me how I make you feel."

I gasped and arched back to meet his thrusts, wanting him to be rough and unrestrained with me.

"Full," I choked out, "God, I can feel you so deep inside of me. You're so hard."

"I've wanted to fuck you since you got here tonight." He wrapped a hand around my hair and tugged and I whimpered.

"Edward," I gasped. "I need you to make me come."

He smacked my ass and I gasped and bucked against him. "Do you like it when I spank you?" he asked roughly.

"Fuck, yes. I can feel it go straight to my clit." I moaned.

"Mmm, naughty girl."

"Do it again," I begged and I felt the sharp sting and then the flush of pleasure that followed. I reached down to rub at my clit.

"You are naughty, playing with your pussy like that. Can you feel how wet you are?"

"Yes. It's from you. You make me wet."

"Fuck, I'm so close," he groaned. "I need to feel you come on my cock." He reached around my hip and his fingers joined mine. We both worked at my clit furiously for a moment before I lost it.

"I'm coming," I gasped, shuddering and shaking as my orgasm overwhelmed me.

"Me too," he choked and rested his head against my shoulder blades, muffling his cries of pleasure. "Jesus, you feel so fucking good," he mumbled.

I collapsed forward, feeling weak and overwhelmed. He gently flipped me over and pressed my legs wide open.

"What are you doing?" I asked weakly.

He looked up at me and gave me a slow, devastating smirk. "I'm going to make you scream my name."

I shuddered at his words and he brushed a thumb over my clit which sent me into a spasm of pleasure. He lowered his head and plunged his tongue inside of me to tease at my opening.

"I can taste both of us," he whispered and dove in again, to lick me clean.

I writhed under him, over-sensitized and desperate for another release. He slid two fingers into me and I arched up off the bed. His tongue moved to my clit with hard flat strokes that wiped all coherent thoughts from my brain. I could hear myself gasping and moaning and begging. When he added a third finger and his teeth lightly scraped across my clit I exploded into pleasure, crying out his name.

He gently disengaged himself from me and slid up so he was lying next to me. I lay panting on the bed bedside him, too worn out to move. He traced gentle circles across my hip, pressing occasional soft kisses to my shoulder. We lay there staring into each other's eyes, trying not to let the threat of the following day creep in and spoil the mood. I could hear the indistinct thump of music downstairs and the laughter and shouting of people celebrating. I glanced over at the clock to see the time, 11:59. Vaguely, I could hear people counting down to the New Year and I felt Edward take in a deep shuddering breath.

"Happy New Year," I whispered and Edward kissed me, tenderly, desperately, pulling me closer to his body. Every moment that ticked by was another moment closer to being away from him and I frantically tried to come up with a way to distract both of us.

"Let's go take a shower," I said quietly. "I'm in the mood to get wet."

He gave me a smoldering glance and dragged me into the bathroom and turned on the water. In the shower I dropped to my knees, desperate to feel him in my mouth. My hand ghosted over the muscles of his thigh and I brushed my lips across the skin of his hipbone. His stomach muscles clenched and then relaxed. I looked up at him as I moved my head to his cock. I had barely even touched his skin before he let out a shuddering breath. My tongue licked slowly up his hardness, briefly tasting the liquid that pooled at the tip. His eyes darkened as I tasted him, never leaving mine. When my hand reached out to wrap around him he hissed. The warm water fell around us and the steam made my skin flush. As I continued to explore him with my tongue I felt wetness gather between my legs. I slid him partway into my mouth and he groaned, deep from within his chest. My other hand gripped his thigh to steady myself and I slid him further in. He staggered a little and stepped back far enough to lean against the wall. He helped me slide forward until he was in my mouth again. I continued to tease him and his fingers twined gently in my wet hair, encouraging me. My hand moved to stroke the soft skin of his inner thigh and then up to cup his balls.

"God, Bella," he hissed, his hips moved involuntarily toward me and I relaxed my mouth to allow him in deeper. My eyes met his again as I slid him the rest of the way in and his knees buckled for a moment before steadying. I moved my head, feeling his cock twitch against my tongue. My hand gripped him more forcefully at the base, determined to make him come.

"That feels so good," he whispered and his eyes fluttered closed for a moment. "I don't know how much longer I can last."

I pulled away long enough to say, "Don't. I want to feel you come in my mouth, I want to taste you."

He whimpered, eyes full of lust and I engulfed him again, sucking, licking, stroking; anything to make him lose control. His hands gripped my head and held me in place as he came. The groan that left his mouth was almost savage. When he finished, I licked him lightly as I pulled my mouth from his cock. He sank to the floor beside me and we sat there for a moment in silence. He pulled me close, guiding my head to rest on his shoulder. He leaned down to kiss the top of my head.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

The shower was still warm and he yawned. "You wore me out woman."

I laughed. "Sorry."

"Oh I'm not." He stood up and tugged me to my feet. He washed my skin, stroking gently over it with a loofah. I purred contentedly, leaning into his touch, trying to memorize the feel of his skin against mine. When we were finished with the shower and my hair was combed we went back into his bedroom. I avoided looking at the suitcases stacked in the corner, I didn't want to think about him leaving. I crawled into bed beside him, not bothering to put on pajamas. I needed to feel his bare skin against mine. The only thing I put on was the necklace he gave me and as I lay in his arms trying to not cry myself to sleep I wondered if it was the last night we'd have together.


-What did you think of Edward getting possessive, and did you understand Bella's struggle with it?

-Do you think they'll confess their feelings before he leaves the next day?

-How do you think they'll handle the distance?

The Breakers by les16 : After spending 7 years in prison, Edward gets a new start in the fishing village of Corea, Maine. Can a little girl and her mom, Bella, see beyond his past and can they all find love again...or will the ocean swallow them whole?

It's another ex-con Edward, but entirely different than Inside Man. Equally well written though, and I am really enjoying reading it. The chemistry between Bella and Edward sizzles. And Bella's daughter is hilarious. It's a really unique setting for the characters and the entire town is really well fleshed out. Plus, the author has a great blog with pics and recipes and fun little tidbits that go along with the story.