A/N-I wanted to do a story on the five stages of coping. They are: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, & Acceptance.
Enjoy!
Coma
Rukia's week
Everyone looks on at Ichigo's unconscious form. No matter who tried, he couldn't be woken up, despite the healing of his injuries, he lay in a coma.
He's been like this for a full five days. Never once has he been alone. Rukia is always with him, and when she needs to take care of her bodily functions, she makes Renji sit with him.
The first day, Rukia had spent a lot of time telling herself that the moment she started to get upset, Ichigo was sure to wake up. She figured the moment she shed a tear, he'd open his eyes and roll them at her for being so damned emotional. He'd say something like 'You think I'd die so easy?' or 'This is me we're talking about.' Rukia had been so certain that nothing was really wrong with him, yet she'd been unable to leave his side.
She kept telling herself that once he finally opened his eyes, she'd be able to rest. She hadn't slept one wink, as she had been anticipating the moment he would open his eyes and look at her. Her nerves grew more and more thin as the day wore on.
The second day, Rukia had yelled at him, a lot. She had told him that it was completely pathetic that he was still sleeping now that he had been healed. She had ordered him to open his eyes and she had let her voice raise to unreasonable levels. She wondered if he would respond to her yelling better than he had responded to her denial. She just kept yelling, trying with every fiber of her being to get him to open his damned eyes.
His fingers had twitched a lot in reaction to her angry words. She hated the IV sticking out of his arm. It reminded her that things were still up in the air. She had even threatened to stop watching over him if he didn't snap out of it real soon. It was a threat she would never be able to carry out. She had gotten so angry that she'd gone a second day in a row without sleeping.
She had spent the day either sitting there angry with her arms crossed, or stood there yelling at him. She wanted him to open his eyes and she thought she could yell him out of his coma.
On the third day, Rukia was getting really scared. With Ichigo still in his coma, she leans over him and stares at him with a tear spattered face. She promises him she'll do anything for him, or give him anything he wanted, if he would just open his eyes. She attempts many bargains with the orange haired boy who she keeps so close in her heart, but he still hasn't responded in any way, shape, or form to her.
Rukia ends up passing out from lack of sleep, resting the side of her face on his stomach, facing towards his head. Nobody dares to move her out of the room, or even off of Ichigo as she sleeps, although a few people had to hold Byakuya back from carrying her to the mansion. Between Unohana, Ukitake, and Renji, they'd been able to dissuade him from that course of action by telling him Rukia would be heartbroken if she woke up and found herself anywhere other than Ichigo's side.
When Rukia woke up on the fourth day her face was resting now on Ichigo's chest, since Unohana had adjusted her to help with Ichigo's comfort. When she woke up and saw that he was still comatose, she was sad beyond belief. All she wanted was for him to be making the whole world vibrant again. He's supposed to be just fine, without any complications, yet he hasn't opened his eyes once since he got so badly injured. Inoue's powers are supposed to bring someone back to the state they were in before they had gotten destroyed, and even she had been unable to wake Ichigo.
Unohana has also been completely unsuccessful thus far, and Rukia could only sit there with watery eyes, as she tried her hardest to keep her tears from falling. Nobody dared to say anything to her, once again, since nobody wanted to be the one who made her tears actually fall down her face.
After many hours of staying there depressed, she started to feel the calm of acceptance, even though she still didn't want to leave his side. Rukia falls asleep once again, but this time, she carefully climbs into the small recovery bed with him and buries her face into his neck as she holds him tight.
When she wakes up, she finds that Ichigo has somehow managed to wrap his arms around her while in his coma. She stays very close to him like this, knowing that if he had woken up a few days ago, she couldn't have possibly spent so long holding him close in her arms now. She wonders what will happen now that he's been in a coma for days on end. The longer he stays in a coma, the less likely it is that he'll wake up.
She finally pulls her face away from his neck and she sits up a bit, causing his arm to fall off of her back. Rukia stares at his face as she tries to think of something to tell him. Finally she gives him a weak smile.
"I guess even for someone as strong and magnificent as you, things can go wrong once in awhile. I promise you no matter how long it takes you to wake up, I'll still be here waiting for you. Only my own death could pull me from your side. I love you, Ichigo. I'm sorry I didn't tell you when you had the ability to respond. I never imagined something like this would happen. No matter what, I'll be here for you. I swear it." Rukia can hear her voice cracking as she reassures him she'll wait for him for as long as it takes, no matter how long he takes.
"If you don't take better care of yourself, your condition won't be much better," Renji tells her from the doorway.
"I will stay by Ichigo." Rukia says in a hard voice that allows no room for disagreement.
"Just go shower. I promise not to leave the room while you're gone. You need to clean yourself up, you don't want him waking up to find you haven't taken care of yourself do you?" Renji asks her. Rukia looks up at him.
"I'll bathe a little later. Right now, I just want to stay with him, and talk to him. I just want to be with him." Rukia says softly.
"Some things never change." Renji replies softly. Rukia takes Ichigo's hand and stares at his face.
"I may not be able to change the fact that he's in a coma, but I can damned sure stay by his side until he comes out of it." Rukia says with more force. "It kills me to see him laying there without waking up no matter how much I yell, plead, beg, or threaten. The only comfort I have is knowing I can talk to him and touch him, and maybe he hears me." Rukia tells Renji, who gives her a sympathetic look before looking back at Ichigo.
Ichigo's week
Ichigo sliced Aizen and then everything faded into black. He could barely hear anything at first too. He sensed that many people were around him, trying to help him and he's stuck somewhere between annihilation and barely living.
Aizen's last bankai trick was something Ichigo was the only one to ever experience. His bankai involved shutting down his opponent's will to live in their brain. It's something that will make normal people suicidal without even realizing it, they immediately make a mistake and die in the midst of battle.
If Rukia hadn't stopped Aizen's blade the moment it had pierced Ichigo's head, he'd surely be completely dead. It was because she had delayed his sword that Ichigo had managed to Getsuga Tenshou Aizen from the middle of the top of his head straight down to the ground.
Ichigo had realized it just as everything had turned black, that the only reason he had won had been because of Rukia. He had seen stark fear in her eyes as everything had turned black. He could feel her reiatsu as it mingled with his own and he had thought to himself that if he had to die, at least he got to see her face last.
It was definitely bittersweet for him to know she was with him in the end but they had never gotten around to sharing their feelings for one another. They'd both always just run away from doing that. He didn't need to be told that she loved him, it was evident in every one of her actions.
Her beautiful blue eyes, streaked with fear for him were full of so much love he'd have to be a complete idiot to miss it. Ichigo is not a complete idiot no matter how many times she may call him such a name. How do you tell a woman who's nearly ten times as old as you that you're in love with her though?
This was always what had confounded him the most. He didn't know how to say it. It all seems so silly as everything is black and Ichigo wonders when he'll die. He knows he'd rather it be him who suffers these consequences than her.
Aizen hadn't even expected that Rukia would or could stay his blade in bankai mode, Ichigo had seen the sheer surprise that had crossed his face as Ichigo killed him, due to Rukia's actions. Ichigo had been surprised too. Aizen was extremely powerful, and it took everything Ichigo had in his body to stop Aizen's blade in bankai.
Ichigo doesn't know how Rukia was even able to pull off such a feat. It was impressive to say the least. He doesn't have to ask himself why he loves her, she's everything good and everything exciting that he could ever want in a woman. He's glad he spent the last of his life fighting evil with her. It's not a bad way to die in Ichigo's opinion. A hell of a lot of people die doing nothing with their lives.
He wonders how she found the strength to keep Aizen's blade from entering anymore than a quarter of a centimeter into Ichigo's head. She was always surprising him with her level of strength. He knows after all the time he's spent with her that it was due to him that she had not been in usual form the night she'd ended up giving him her powers.
He knew all about Kaien thanks to Ganju and Kuukaku. He also knew that the man had meant an awful lot to Rukia. Ichigo had felt so relieved upon hearing that Kaien had been married and that Rukia had never been in a relationship with him. Especially when he had been shown a picture of Kaien. Ichigo had realized in an instant why Rukia had not been her usual self that night she'd first saved him.
Ichigo had unnerved her beyond her wildest belief, by looking the way he does, and exuding the reiatsu that he does. Until he'd gotten to fight Renji and Byakuya, he'd spent a hell of a lot of time wondering why she would do something as selfless and giving as give him her powers. When Byakuya had mentioned that Ichigo looked a lot like someone, Ichigo had been even more interested. So Rukia did have a special reason that she'd saved him. He's always been grateful, and he's always felt a pull towards her that he never knew how to explain. Ichigo knows she's the only one who makes him feel whole.
All of a sudden, Ichigo wonders what in the hell is going on and why he isn't dead yet. He strains his ears and he can hear muffled voices. He can't make out any of the voices, or what they're saying but he can feel Rukia's reiatsu. It's strange that he's felt it ever since she stopped Aizen's blade.
Ichigo finds it very comforting to feel her so close, it's probably why his mind keeps thinking about her. Between her brave stand with Ichigo against Aizen and her loyalty to stay at his side, even when he's in darkness, he can't help but feel the love grow even stronger. Pretty soon he'll be unable to go on without holding her tight in his arms and thanking her for being everything to him.
Suddenly Ichigo can feel his body, a little bit. He's relieved at this, since maybe it means he won't die after all. He can still barely hear anything, but he thinks maybe he might have drifted off into oblivion for awhile because suddenly Rukia's angry with him. She's loud enough that he can hear her perfectly. He's surprised by her words, and by her anger.
He could hear her telling him that he'd been healed and that he needed to get up. She was practically screaming that into his ears. He hates that he's made her this angry. She's threatening to leave him, but Ichigo knows she's all talk. The only reason she's angry is because he's stuck in this blackness that he can't seem to escape. Ichigo desperately tries to break free of the darkness, but Rukia keeps yelling at him for a really long time.
When she finally quiets down, and doesn't leave his side, he feels like he drifts off into oblivion once again. He feels tired from his struggle of trying to yell back at the girl who'd said so many things to make him want to jump up and scream. 'Enough Already!' Ichigo's solitude in blackness is only tolerable since he can constantly feel her reiatsu.
When he hears her voice again, it tears at him so bad he wonders if he's crying. She's offering him anything in the world to see him open his eyes. Ichigo tries so hard to open them, but it's of no use. She offers to do anything or give him anything he wants if he just wakes up. He tries once again to fight the darkness, to get closer to her, but the best he can do is to just listen to her heartbroken voice.
He knows she must have no idea that this is just as hard for him as it is for her. He can't stand to hear her sound so sad and desperate just to see his eyes and hear his voice. He wants to see her too, but he can't break free of the darkness that has its grasp on him. Some of the deals she's attempting to make with him sound way too good to pass up too. She's promising to give him anything in her power if he comes back to her.
When she finally quiets down, Ichigo can feel that she's moved even closer. He wonders if she's fallen asleep on him. When Byakuya's reiatsu draws closer and grows immensely stronger, Ichigo is quite sure that's the case, Ichigo feels relieved when Byakuya's reiatsu moves further away and Rukia is left with him.
Ichigo finally gathers that he is in a coma. He doesn't know how to wake from it though. When he next hears Rukia's voice, it sounds so sad and down that Ichigo can't help but wonder how long he's been in this state. He's able to hear much easier now too. Even more incredible that he's actually conscious in some form during it.
She sounds really depressed. He wonders if she's crying. She sounds like she is, and Ichigo just cannot stand it. It's a sound that absolutely kills him. He wants her to be her usual self. He kind of wishes she'd go back to yelling at him. It's more familiar than the defeated Rukia which is who he senses staying by his side still. Ichigo has no idea how long she stays like that, but he is all of a sudden very aware of his body.
He can feel Rukia's reiatsu as she cuddles into his side and holds him close and tucks her face in his neck. Ichigo wonders if he's blushing, since he can feel her chest pressing against his body and one of her legs is thrown over his own. He knows without seeing that Rukia is sleeping with him. Ichigo makes a very strong effort to show her he's there mentally by finally moving his arms around her.
Ichigo is very exhausted once he manages that though, and he wonders again why he isn't dead. He really wants to open his eyes, but he can't even feel or sense them. He can sense his arms and legs, and he can sense being touched and he can hear. Other than that he can sense reiatsu but that's about it. When she wakes up, she sits up and he feels his arms fall off of her as she sits up.
"I guess even for someone as strong and magnificent as you, things can go wrong once in awhile. I promise you no matter how long it takes you to wake up, I'll still be here waiting for you. Only my own death could pull me from your side. I love you, Ichigo. I'm sorry I didn't tell you when you had the ability to respond. I never imagined something like this would happen. No matter what, I'll be here for you. I swear it." He hears Rukia say.
He is so pained to hear her words. All he wants to do is open his eyes and thank her, tell her he's glad she'll wait for him, and of course tell her that he loves her too. He thinks she deserves to hear it. Once again he starts fighting the darkness when he clearly hears Renji telling her to take care of herself and Ichigo feels bad because he knows the moment Renji says those things that Rukia has not been taking care of herself, she's only been watching out for him.
Ichigo keeps trying to wake up from his coma, trying to open his eyes, trying to find Rukia when he hears her say she just wants to be with him, that it makes her feel good to touch him and talk to him, and think maybe he hears her. With every last bit of strength he possesses, he finally manages to open his eyes, and Rukia is the first to see it.
"Ichigo!" Rukia's face breaks into a huge smile of relief at seeing his eyes. "Thank goodness!" Rukia says before staring at him closely. "How do you feel?" Rukia asks him quietly.
Ichigo tries to talk but his voice sounds like a frog is stuck in it, and Rukia quickly stands and grabs him some water. Ichigo drinks it very quickly and then looks back at her.
"Thanks for staying with me the whole time." Ichigo finally is able to whisper. "I could hear you, and feel you. It was the only thing that kept me working at waking up. You're the only reason I'm not dead right now." Ichigo holds out his hand and Rukia takes it.
"You're welcome," She whispers wholeheartedly.
"I love you too." Ichigo's voice is so soft, Rukia isn't sure she heard him right. When she looks down into his eyes, she can see his love for her shining right there in front of her face. "I heard it when you said that." Ichigo explains. Rukia blushes, and Ichigo's cheeks are a bit pink too.
"I'm so happy you're finally awake, I was so worried," Rukia says before trailing off. She doesn't want to get too emotional. She's glad that he's awake, and he told her he loves her back. She thinks all of this waiting was definitely worth it for him to wake up and say that to her.
"Come here." Ichigo's voice is quiet and demanding. Rukia quickly glances at him and she can see how his eyes have changed the tiniest bit. He keeps glancing at her eyes and then her lips. Rukia knows exactly what he wants, and so she leans over and lets him kiss her. After a few seconds, she responds with all of emotion she's kept under the surface for so long, and in particular the last week.
"Wow." Rukia whispers as she finally pulls away. Ichigo holds her gaze.
"Thank you for everything. The fact that Aizen is dead is as much your doing as it is mine." Ichigo tells her. "That moment made me realize a lot. Whether you come live with me in the living world, or I come to live in Soul Society, I want to fight with you by my side from now on. You make me strong." Ichigo tells her softly, knowing she's not expecting it. Rukia's eyes widen in surprise as he expected.
"What about your life?" Rukia asks him a bit frantically.
"If you aren't with me, then what kind of life is that?" Ichigo asks her seriously. Rukia lets herself smile a little bit.
"You tell me." Rukia whispers.
"Didn't you agree to give me anything if I woke up, or do anything for me?" Ichigo asks her pointedly. Rukia blushes.
"You heard that?" She asks. Ichigo grins at her.
"You're going to keep your word aren't you? All I'm asking is that you always stay with me." Ichigo says softly.
"What you're asking for is what I want more than anything in the world." Rukia admits with very red cheeks.
"Thanks again, Rukia. Without you, the whole world would be fucked." Ichigo says before drifting off into an exhausted sleep. Unohana rushes in a second later to see Rukia's red face and genuine smile.
"He woke up." Rukia says softly.
"Good. I was getting worried. I'll need to wake him again to examine him, why don't you go and bathe, and when you get back, you can stay with him until he wakes up again." Unohana says. Rukia smiles and nods.
She'd always come back for Ichigo.
