Chapter 29 (continued)


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"I can't." Her hands were shaking terribly in spite of the fact that she'd tried desperately over the last five minutes to stop them from doing just that. Her future was in front of her, their future. And if those papers said the wrong thing… "Those results are right in front of me and I can't open them. I can't move, I can't- our future is in that envelope...Two and a half years together and it all comes down to test results!"

"Olivia-"

"Will you please stop calling me that?!" She was finally snapping under the pressure she'd been under and she just wanted some normalcy. "Every time I've seen you, or talked to you these last ten days, it's been Olivia, and every time I hear it, I'm reminded of exactly where we we are and I'm sorry! I'm sorry...And it doesn't make it better, it doesn't fix things but I'm sorry! And every time that you call me Olivia it let's me know that you don't forgive me and you probably never will no matter what those results say!

"It's not so simple."

"I know...I know. But we have to work through this. I know I screwed up but I don't wanna lose you. Don't you know that you are the single greatest thing that's ever happened to me?"

"And you showed me that by laying with my brother!"

She paused for a moment just to let that sink in, before she wiped the tears that were on her face. "Yes, I cheated and I lied to you! I said it, I cheated. And for two and a half months I lied to you, but I swear it's over! You are the only man that I want and the only one that I need and I will do anything to prove it to you!"

"Did you fuck him in our bed?"

"How could you ask me that?"

"Did you?"

"I would never do that."

"Until a week ago, I thought there were a lot of things you wouldn't do" As soon as it left his lips, he knew he shouldn't have said it. Just the look on her face alone, though she tried to hide it, told him. "I didn't mean that. I'm sorry!"

"You did. But I guess I deserve it." She said, pushing her hurt down.

"Liv…" He tried to explain but couldn't find the words, and instead, he just pulled her into his arms as they sat there on the sofa. She curling her feet underneath her and putting her head down on his chest.

God, this felt so right! They both thought, and she just rested there. Tears slipping from both their eyes. "Just tell me that there's a chance that we can come back from this; that we can put it behind us?"

"I don't know. I want to but-"

"It's not that simple; I know." She said as she lay against him, breathing in his scent while he stroked her hair. They just stayed that way for a moment. Her listening to the sound of his heart beating. "I'm so scared to know what's in that envelope." She whispered.

"Whatever it is, we'll handle it." But being so close to him, resting on his strong chest. She couldn't help but run her hand over it. Feeling the outline, the hard planes, and remembering lying there after all the times they made love.

"Liv…" She'd begun planting small kisses to his chest from the v on his shirt and now buried her face in his neck. "Olivia…"

"Please." She whispered with a kiss to his neck. "I need you...I need this!"

"Olivia…"

"Just for tonight… You can hate me tomorrow, but I need you tonight! I can't look at those results Nick, I can't-" She brought her lips against His and slowly kissed him. Drawing him into her mouth several times, and pretty soon, he took over, kissing her hard, deep and full of all the pain he felt as he cried. Bunching her nightgown in his fist as his other hand pulled one of the shoulders down. He soon had his hands in her hair, bunching it tightly while he kissed her and then pulling it back hard to expose her neck to him and he dove in. Kissing, biting, sucking. "Nick…oh..." She breathed as she closed her eyes.

He knew he should get up and walk out that door but dammit!He sucked her nipples hard into his mouth, causing pain as her breasts were still in that stage where they were tender, but she didn't care. He felt so good as she held his head, encouraging him to suck harder. After a moment, he popped his mouth off and pulled back. Looking at her with so much love but so much misplaced trust. He wanted her so bad that he could already feel her but where would they be tomorrow? And the test, he told her they would handle it, no matter what, and he meant it but what if it wasn't that simple? He ran his thumb across her lips, her beautiful lips and he searched her big brown eyes.

"Please baby." She whispered and he knew right there that he was weak for this woman and tomorrow, they'd have even more to sort out. But tonight, he was giving into his heart, and to his macho need to conquer and it was with this that he stood, picking her up and with her legs around his waist and them kissing like the world would end, he took her to their bedroom where he lay her down and made love to her with such passion and intensity, it left them both in tears.


The next morning when he woke up with her in his arms, he was so happy, even though at the same time, he knew they'd made a mistake. They still had so much to work through and he knew he shouldn't have made love to her. But last night they both needed something that only the other could give.

He smoothed his hand over her bare arm that lay across him before he gently untangled himself, getting up and going into the bathroom for a quick shower.

...

Some time later, he was sitting on the couch, absently drinking a cup of coffee while he stared at the envelope that lay on the table in front of him when Zara came out of her room, holding her unicorn and yawning.

"Hey, sleepyhead!" He smiled and Zara immediately woke up.

"Daddy!" She shouted, excited as she ran to him. She jumped on his lap and hugged him tight and he realized that he hadn't been around for mornings in a while.

"You're a big girl, I was just about to come wake you!"

"I'm hungry."

"Yeah?" He said as she nodded. "Well, we can't have that can we? Come on, let's see if we can't get some food into that tummy!" He said as he got up and walked to the kitchen, carrying her.

"Daddy, where's mommy?"

"Mommy's asleep, baby." He answered as he put her down in one the chairs at the counter.

"But she's never asleep when I have to go to school." She said, taking grapes from the fruit bowl in front of her and eating them.

"I know, but she was really tired last night so I thought I'd let her sleep. So, what'll it be, pancakes or cereal?"

"Cereal please." She smiled. "Mommy makes pancakes better."


Later that morning, olivia finally woke up to see that not only was it very late, almost nine o'clock, but she was alone in bed! She had started to get sad about it when she remembered that it was Wednesday and she had to get… "Zara...Shit!" She jumped out of bed and put on her robe, quickly regretting moving so fast to get up because it sent her running to the bathroom.

...

"Zee, baby..." She called as she went to Zara's room. When she saw the she wasn't there, she went out into the living room and stopped; smiling when she saw Nick in the kitchen.

"Don't worry, I got her breakfast, a shower and got her to school on time."

"It's almost nine, why didn't you wake me?"

"You looked so peaceful sleeping, I couldn't disturb you."

"Peaceful because you utterly exhausted me." She said, the memory of the night before still fresh in her mind. She turned to the fridge and got a bottle of ginger ale, taking a glass and pouring out half the bottle.

"Olivia…" Nick called to her, hoping to talk to her about last night and hopefully see if she's ready to open the test results. While he understood her reluctance to know, it was killing him.

"Do you want some breakfast?" She said after taking a long sip then sitting the glass down. "I could-"

"No, I'm not really hungry. Can we talk?"

"I know what you're gonna say- last night shouldn't have happened, and you're right. We're complicating things before we even have them worked out."

"I didn't wanna come off like like an ass-"

"You're not. The truth is, I shouldn't have kissed you, we...I shouldn't have.

"It's not-"

"It's okay." She said. "I know it's not easy to get past what I did and I don't want you to think that I don't know that. It's just you being here, being so close… But I know that we have things to work through and I'm sorry I distracted us from them. I just, I saw those results…"

"I know, and I'm scared too but we have to face it, whatever those results say, we just have to believe that we'll be alright. I know if it says that I'm not the father…"

"Don't say that." She whispered, wiping the tears that escaped her eyes.

"Liv, we gotta face it." He said, trying hard not to cry for her sake. As much as he hated to think it, to believe it, he had to brace himself for the fact that when they opened that envelope and read those results that he wouldn't be the father, that these babies wouldn't be his. And that scared him beyond a doubt but it was a possibility, a 50% possibility and he had to prepare himself for that even if Olivia couldn't. "Manny may be the father, and I don't want that but we gotta be ready to accept whatever those results might say."

She stood there for a moment, just letting her tears flow as she nodded and he took her into his arms to comfort her. "You can do this." He said. "we can do this." He said, all the while praying to god to let it be. He knew that he was being selfish, but he didn't care. If selfish meant that these babies he loved to the moon and back, were his, and that his little girl stayed happy and that his marriage, though it would be hard, got a chance to get back on track. If that made him selfish, then yes god, I'll be a selfish man, but please don't take my family away! He prayed as he walked her over to the sofa and handed her the results envelope from the coffee table.

"Nick…"

"It's okay; whatever it says." He said, biting his lip.

She took the envelope and looked at him. She knew he was trying to be strong for her benefit, but he was crumbling inside. And at that moment, she never hated herself more. She took a deep breath before she sat down on the edge of the couch. She couldn't risk falling if… Still in tears, but resolved to do this, she tore open the envelope and began to silently read the results, but after a moment, her breathing became labored. "Liv?"

"Oh god!" She turned her head to speak to Nick but she couldn't get out words.

"Olivia, what is it?" She let her hand that was holding the papers drop and the other went to her stomach and she sat there sobbing. Nick was heartbroken, tears streaming his face and for a moment, he couldn't speak, he was so hurt and so thrown aback.


TBC… In the meantime, a review would be lovely. I'll maybe, probably even write faster, lmao!