Chapter 29
"Dana, what are you doing here?" Olivia asked, still not believing Federal Agent Dana Lewis was standing in her hospital room.
"You, your husband, and your kid are national news, hun. When I found out who it was that took ya, they just bought a whole case of ass whoopin' from me," Dana answered in her usual Southern drawl. Dana pulled up the vacant visitor's chair and sat down at Olivia's bedside before she turned serious. "You know what I haveta ask you." The words hung in the air as Dana's unasked question hung in the air.
"I don't want a rape kit," Olivia whispered.
"Why? Because you weren't raped, or because you know what the process entails?" Dana probed. "The truth, Olivia." Olivia knew what Dana was doing, because Olivia herself had done this more times than she could count. Dana was trying to play at Olivia's emotions and connect with her to convince her to go through the exam.
"You said you were here because of who the perps were. How are you involved?" Olivia asked.
"I'll answer all of your questions later. Right now, I want to deal with you and how you can help me lock up these bastards for the rest of their natural lives," Dana said. "Now, why don't you want the exam?" Olivia closed her eyes and leaned back against the pillow. She knew the value of the evidence that would be collected in the rape kit. She had made several cases with that very evidence, and it pissed her off when victims refused to go through it. And here she was, refusing it. For the first time, she knew what it felt like to be a victim, and it was a wretched feeling
"The kit won't help you," Olivia said finally. "He used a condom."
"Now, that's bull and you know it. There's still a chance we'll find DNA somewhere else. Saliva, hair samples, a flaw in the condom. Olivia," Dana said, taking her hand. "I need that kit. Please." Meanwhile, Dr. Baker stood silently, watching the scene play out in front of her. Perhaps she should be advocating for her patient's right to refuse, but she wanted everyone involved to face justice. Olivia deserved that, at the very least.
"I can't," Olivia whispered.
"You can. You know you can. You've taken down full grown men twice your size. You've been on the business end of a gun and walked away more than once. You went undercover, moved across the country, and still managed to solve a sex crime when you were supposed to be hunting down eco-terrorists. And you're afraid of a teensy weensy medical exam?" Dana asked, raising an eyebrow. "That's not the Olivia Benson I know."
"Yeah, well, maybe the Olivia Benson you know died in that basement," Olivia snapped
"All right, if I can't convince you, maybe Elliot can. Although, the last time he saw me a stick of dynamite nearly exploded in his hand, so…" Dana said. Olivia thought about what she was saying quickly. Elliot would pester her and badger her until she consented to the exam, and she didn't want to tell him any more than she absolutely had to. It would only make things more painful and complicated.
"Ok, ok…I'll do it. But first, you answer one of my questions," Olivia said.
"That's my girl," Dana said, smiling. She handed Olivia a consent form for the kit. "Sign on the dotted line, and I'll answer any question you wanna ask me." With the consent form in hand, Dr. Baker silently pulled a try over and proceeded to set up the tools for the exam.
"What are you doing here? I thought SVU would be taking this case," Olivia asked.
"Well, like I said, y'all are national news. But, beyond that, do you have any idea where they found you?" Dana asked.
"No, all I ever managed to piece together was that we were out of the city," Olivia said.
"They took you to some God-forsaken part of New Jersey. You crossed stated lines, which makes this…" Dana began. Olivia followed her train of thought right down the path Dana led her.
"A federal case," Olivia finished. Dana nodded.
"And, since we think that the perps come from the same group I infiltrated a few years ago, the Bureau decided it was finally time to crack down on these knuckleheads," Dana explained. "Took them long enough," Dana muttered.
"We were kidnapped by RAW?" Olivia asked, remembering a school shooting that turned out to be racially motivated. Suddenly, the pieces were starting to slide into place, even if she was missing a few.
"It's possible. While you were in the ER, you mentioned the name Victoria Black. Did she assault you in any way?" Tears pricked at Olivia's eyes at the mention of the name. It brought her current circumstances back to the front of her mind. Olivia didn't want to go down this path. She just couldn't. At least, not yet.
"How do you know about Black? You like her for something?" Olivia asked, trying to turn into the interrogator instead of the witness. Dana opened her mouth to continue, but was interrupted by Dr. Baker.
"Olivia, we're ready to begin. Now, I know you're familiar with this procedure, but we're going to take this at your pace. As you know, this requires a medical professional as well as a member of law enforcement. Agent Lewis is working your case, so anything you say to her is a matter of record," Dr. Baker explained patiently. Olivia knew all about this, but it was difficult being the one on this side of the exam. Olivia nodded, to indicate that she understood what was happening to her.
"Ok, here's how we're going to get through this. I won't touch you or do anything to you without explaining to you first. If you need a break, or you want to slow down, just say the word. We're not in any hurry here, ok?" Dr. Baker told her. Olivia nodded again. Dr. Baker had already begun filling out the required paperwork in the kit. She already had Olivia's name, address, date of birth, and other relevant information recorded, as well as Dana's ID and badge number.
"Ok, Olivia, we'll start with the easy part. I just need you to answer some questions. Were you assaulted once or multiple times?" Dr. Baker asked.
"Multiple," Olivia answered. She took a deep breath. She could do this. She had to do this. If she didn't, she'd never be able to show her face in the SVU bullpen again.
"How many times?" Dr. Baker asked. Her voice was professional, but kind. She wasn't exhibiting any signs of shock or judgment, just listening as Olivia recounted her experiences. Olivia replayed the events of the past few days in her mind.
"Seven," she said, surprising even herself that it was that many.
"Why don't you just take us through the events as we go through the rest of the exam?" Dana suggested, holding up a hand to Dr. Baker. Although Dr. Baker had treated many, many rape victims, Olivia was the first patient she had who was kidnapped and assaulted more than once. The form in the kit didn't really accommodate that situation.
"I think I can do that," Olivia said.
"Ok, we're going to start with your head. I need to comb through your hair. We'll bag anything that falls out," Dr. Baker said, picking up the sterile comb in the kit. Olivia sat forward, giving Baker access to her hair.
"What happened, Olivia?" Dana asked.
"I stayed home from work that day. Tina had the flu, and well, she's at that stage where she only wants Mommy when she's sick, you know?" Olivia asked, searching Dana's eyes for understanding.
"I've got two of my own, and they did the same thing when they were little," Dana said with a smile. "So, you were home with Tina. What happened next?"
"We were just sitting on the couch. She wanted to watch Cinderella, but she fell asleep in my lap almost as soon as the movie started. I must have dozed off, too, because the next thing I knew, something woke me up," Olivia said.
"What woke you up?" Dana asked.
"Some sort of a sound," Olivia said.
"Can you describe it?" Dana asked. Olivia searched her memory. She remembered waking up, and she remembered it was a noise, but now, she couldn't place it.
"No. All I know is that it came from the hallway where our protective detail was. Jefferies! Is she ok? Do you know what happened to her?" Olivia asked in rapid succession. She hadn't even remembered Jefferies was watching her until just now.
"Calm down, Olivia, she's fine. Her shift ended before you were abducted. What did you do what you woke up?" Dana asked. Olivia let out a sigh of relief.
"I…I went for my gun in the safe on my bedside table," Olivia said, launching back into her story. "But Adam blitzed me as soon as I walked into the room." She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder.
"Olivia, I need to take 10 strands of your hair for comparison," Dr. Baker said gently. Olivia vaguely registered. Olivia told Dana how they threatened her with Tina's safety, waited for Fin to come home, and how Joseph had violated her with the anal plug the first time. She felt the hand on her shoulder again.
"We need to take fingernail scrapings," Dr. Baker told her gently. "How are you doing?" Olivia obediently held out her hands.
"I'm ok," Olivia said. She quickly went back to her tale, describing what Joseph did to her in the van, how she had a gun held to her head to force her husband and daughter to comply with their demands, and how they had been led into the basement. She described how Joseph raped her, in graphic detail, that first night. The hand returned to her shoulder. Out of the corner of her eyes, Olivia could see the box filling with forensic evidence. It was such a deeply personal thing now, not like it was as recent as last week.
"We're going to use a UV light to identify any fluids on your body, and if we find any, we'll need to take a swab," Dr. Baker said. The doctor took care to avoid her genital region until the end of the search. This was usually the hardest part for the victim. She had reclined Olivia's bed and pulled the stirrups out. Olivia squeezed her legs closed as tightly as she could. She hadn't reached the point of the branding yet in her story.
"Stop!" she cried out suddenly. Dr. Baker immediately pulled her hands off of Olivia's body, holding them in the air in an innocent stance.
"Ok, it's ok, Olivia. We can take a break," Dr. Baker said kindly. A wave of tears washed over her, and she grabbed for the one thing she could find, Dana's hand. She sobbed, curling onto her side as Dana reached behind her, rubbing her back, as if Olivia was her own daughter.
"What did they do to you, Olivia? What don't you want us to see?" Dana asked kindly, but firmly.
"I can't do this, Dana, I can't," Olivia said.
"You're doing so well. There's just a little bit left," Dana said.
"Dana…" Olivia began.
"What did he do? Tell me, Olivia, what did he do?" Dana connected with Olivia's eyes. All she had to do was catch Olivia off guard for a second, and she would have the answer. Olivia had done it herself on many, many occasions. Olivia couldn't bring herself to say the words, so she parted her thighs slightly.
"Agent Lewis," Dr. Baker said, seeing what was there.
"No!" Olivia screamed, grabbing Dana's hand tighter. "Don't, please…"
"Can I just take a teensy peek?" Dana asked. "Just one, and that's it, ok?" Olivia turned her head and squeezed her eyes shut, giving a quick nod before she lost her nerve. Dana took one look at the angry, blistered swastika pattern on Olivia's right thigh and swallowed hard to contain the bile threatening to spring from her stomach. She had seen the worst of the worst, but this was someone she knew. The pain Olivia must have endured in order to create that mark would have been excruciating.
Bastard marked her like some damn dog marks a hydrant, Dana thought, but quickly bit back to words. Olivia didn't need to hear that. Gradually, Olivia's sobbing subsided, thanks in part to reassurances from the two women in the room with her.
"How are you feeling, Olivia? Ready to continue?" Dr. Baker asked gently. Olivia took another deep breath and nodded, placing her feet in the stirrups. On and on it went, with Dr. Baker taking samples and Olivia recounting her nightmare. She told them about each and every assault, threat, and torture she had endured. She broke down and cried again when she told Dana about the baby, but picked herself back up and continued on.
"...I heard gunshots, and I knew my husband was dead. Or at least I thought he was. And then I heard Elliot's voice," Olivia finished.
"Ok, Olivia, we're all set," Dr. Baker said. Olivia sighed in relief and covered her lower half again. Dr. Baker returned the stirrups to their place and popped the bottom half of the bed back into position. Olivia watched as the kit was sealed and handed off to Dana. She knew in a matter of hours, those pieces of her body would be sitting in an FBI crime lab. She just hoped it would help. Otherwise, what was the point of going through all of that?
"Do you want me to call someone to sit with you for a while?" Dr. Baker asked. There was only one person Olivia wanted to see right now, and that was her husband, but she highly doubted that would be allowed. Still, she had to try.
"I want my husband," Olivia said. Dr. Baker's face fell.
"He's still in ICU," Dr. Baker explained. "I can get you there in the morning, but he can't leave his unit for at least another day." After listening to everything Olivia endured, Dr. Baker desperately wanted to grant her this one request, and yet, Olivia had asked for the one thing she couldn't deliver.
"Mrs. Tutuola? There's a man out here who's asking to see you. He says he's your father?" a nurse said after a brief rap on the door. Olivia didn't really want to see anyone except…wait, her father? Now her curiosity was piqued.
"Yeah, sure," Olivia said. The nurse motioned to her "father," signaling that it was ok.
And it was Captain Cragen who entered the room, carrying a vase of flowers.
"Hey…" Olivia said, a smile creeping across her face in spite of her best efforts to suppress it.
"You're busy. I can come back later," Cragen said, placing the flowers on the table.
"No, we were just leaving. Take all the time you need," Dr. Baker said, heading for the door. Dana sauntered behind Baker, eyeing Cragen as she walked by.
"'Father,' huh? Yeah, ok," Dana teased, raising her eyebrow with a smile. Cragen pulled up the chair Dana had just vacated and sat next to Liv, fiddling with his hat nervously.
"How ya doin'?" he finally asked.
"That depends. How much do you know?" Olivia asked.
"Not much," Cragen said, turning his eyes down to the floor. "The Feds yanked the case the minute we knew you were in Jersey."
"In that case, I'm good," Olivia told him. He didn't know about the multiple assaults, he didn't know about the basement or the branding or the cleansing, and he didn't know that her baby was dead. Finally, someone who would let her ignore her own reality for a while.
"So, is this a social call, or a business call?" Olivia asked.
"For now, social. We can discuss business when you're ready," he said.
"Captain, I…" Olivia began. There was no way she was going to let him tell her she couldn't do her job after what had happened.
"Liv, later. Right now, I want you to focus on your own health," he said firmly. "And, I wanted to let you know that if you need anything, let me know if I can help. I know you have Fin and Elliot, but you reached out to me once before. The offer's still there, especially if Fin…needs help again." Olivia was genuinely touched by his words. Years later, and he was still watching her back like he had the night she had called him as she huddled in Tina's room.
"I know. And that means a great deal to me. Thank you, Captain," she said. She reached out and gave his arm a friendly squeezed. And they sat, awkwardly, for the next several minutes.
"Captain, I don't mean to be rude, but I'm kinda tired…" Olivia began. Cragen nodded and stood.
"I'll let you sleep. I promised Munch I'd see Fin before I left anyway," he said. He paused when he reached her door.
"Liv," he said, waiting for her to look at him before he continued. "Take care of yourself."
Once Olivia saw the back of Cragen's coat disappear into the hallway, she lowered the bed so that she could sleep, pulling the pillow close to her chest. Her hand draped across her belly, as if she could give some comfort to the child inside that would never be. As she drifted off to sleep, images of a teenage girl with light coffee skin and a younger boy of the same color, filled her dreams.
