Somewhere she had read that the opposite of love was not hate, but indifference. It was strange how that silly sentence kept creeping into her mind this days.
The Auror office had found her a new activity, as part of her training, and it had nothing to do with Dementors, dampened fortresses, or werewolves. It was about permanent Sticking charms and propaganda.
It had taken her almost an entire week and who knew how many pounds of Honeydukes Finest to recover from her trip to Azkaban with Moody, and the Auror Department was not trying to make things any easier for her. They had not waited even 24 hours from her return from the prison to give her this new task in the form of a five foot high stack of parchment, all displaying the same moving photograph of a sunken-faced man with untidy shoulder-length black hair.
She had been instructed to go to every magic dwelling in Britain in order to paste wanted signs, displaying the face of Sirius Black.
The face of the cousin she had once, long ago loved, and then hated for years, now produced in her nothing more than indifference and a bit of exasperation, not towards him but to the very annoying task which he had brought about. Who would have thought that there were so many magical dwellings in the country?
On top of that, she had to prepare herself for the trials that would decide if she should continue with her third and last year as an Auror trainee; and between Portkeys and spins around the Floo Network, sometimes she caught herself wishing she was a Muggle, if only so she would have to take a train or a plane or something that would force her to stay put for a least a couple of hours and study.
The week of the trials finally came and Tonks faced it with the very uncomfortable sensation of not being ready for anything, mixed with extreme tiredness after a couple of weeks in which she had hardly had any sleep.
In opposition to her first year trails, that had been directed by Moody and Shacklebolt, this time it had been a whole committee ready to test her. Even Rufus Scrimgeour, the new appointed Head of the Auror Office, had been there. While they were interrogating her on various subjects, Tonks could not help but suspect that this had more to do with the recent escape of Sirius Black than with a genuine interest in her performance. No matter what she would do to prove her loyalty to the Office, the mistrust from many of its members was evident and she was getting tired of it.
Now she was in Moody's office, pacing and waiting for the results and absolutely convinced that between her rotten family bonds and the nasty report Dawlish was going to give on her disastrous display in Stealth and Tracking, there was a good possibility the committee would decide to fail her.
Finally she could hear her Master's uneven steps coming down the corridor. She froze as he entered the office and closed the door behind him with an unreadable expression.
"Sir?" she said, unable to contain her anxiety.
Moody sighed deeply.
"I failed, didn't I?" she asked with a quivering voice.
"No, you didn't, lass," he answered abruptly, but his expression was at odds with the good news; he seemed angry and a bit worried.
"Then…?"
"They want to interrogate you with Veritaserum."
Tonks waited for the statement to sink in. Me? Veritaserum?
"Why me, Sir?"
"Because the committee feels that there might be something you know about Sirius Black or your family and that you might be hiding from them… from us."
"But that's bollocks!" Tonks cried indignantly.
"That's not it." Moody said in a harsh voice, looking at her sternly. "If you are not willing to do it, the committee will fail you."
Tonks gasped looking at him in disbelieve. After all she had done, the office did not trust her yet, that had been made very clear. But how long would it take for them to stop thinking she was a Dark Wizard in the making? What would they force her to do to prove her loyalty?
"Why is it so hard for all of you to trust me?" she asked with a much calmer voice now, though still unable to hide her indignation.
Moody glared at her with contempt.
"Just for you to be informed, trainee Tonks, I do not approve the use of Veritaserum unless the suspect presents enough evidence to believe he or she is guilty."
She looked at him and now she could see it in his face. He disagreed with the decision of the committee, but apparently he was being forced to get along with it. Moody trusted her.
"Well," she said slowly, "if that is what it takes for me to pass the trials, I'll do it. I have nothing to hide."
"Do you realise," Moody asked, "that they are going to dig into any secret you might have, any ounce of a feeling you might harbour, any personal memory?"
"I know," she said calmly.
Moody's magical eye scanned her face, but she had the feeling he was somehow looking into her thoughts as well.
"Let's go then."
"Now?" she asked with a hint of panic in her voice.
"Now."
Something she had learned about interrogation of a suspect was that the setting was important. If intimidation was needed, it was essential to provide an adequate atmosphere for the suspect to feel unsure and even scared.
She had to admit that the committee was overdoing it this time. They were in one of the smaller courtrooms, in the lower level of the Ministry of Magic. The bare stone walls were illuminated with pending torches whose flickering lights produced strange shadows all around the room. On entering, she realized there were two big Hit-Wizards guarding the doors and she mentally thanked her almost non-existent luck that Marcus was not one of them. The situation was humiliating enough without having to face an ex-boyfriend with whom she could not yet manage to have a civil conversation.
She had been indicated to give her wand to one of the Hit-Wizards and she was feeling terribly exposed without it.
Tonks was instructed to sit on a hard wooden stool and in front of her, at a large table, were Rufus Scrimgeour, the nasty toad-like faced witch who, she knew, was named Dolores Umbridge and the Minister for Magic himself. Shacklebolt and Moody were there as well, but the first was making a point on keeping his mouth shut while the second one had refused to sit at all. That gave Tonks a small jolt of relief.
For the first time since she knew Moody, she realized that, along with the enormous respect he inspired in the young witch, he was also beginning to grow on her.
And then she downed the colourless potion in front of her with one gulp and almost instantly felt it working. She had been submitted to the Imperious Curse by Moody on several occasions, to help build a resistance to it, so she was very familiar with the wonderful feeling of emptiness and calm it provided. Veritaserum was no different.
Without any apparent reason, she was not tired anymore, not anxious, not even interested on why was she there or what were they going to ask of her. Whatever, was the only thought she seemed to be able to form.
Rufus Scrimgeour cleared his throat.
"What is your name?"
"Nymphadora Andromeda Tonks," she said in a flat voice, free of expression or emotion. So, she hated her name, but… whatever.
"Your age?"
"Twenty years old."
"How long have you been a trainee in the Auror Department?"
"Two years."
The Minister, Cornelius Fudge, spoke now.
"What is your relation with Sirius Black?"
"He is my mother's first cousin."
"Would you care to elaborate on your relationship with Black?"
"He used to come around my house when I was little," she started as if she was reciting something learned by heart. There was no emotion in her statement, no interest on the information she was giving away. "He used to play with me. The last time I saw him I was 8 years old. It was a couple of weeks before the murder. The last thing I knew about him was the information in the Prophet that I read years after his capture. At least, until two weeks ago, when I learned he escaped from Azkaban."
"Have you had any contact with Sirius Black during that time, between his imprisonment and his escape?"
"No, I haven't."
It seemed it was Umbridge's turn now.
"How do you feel about him?" she asked with an irritating soft voice, dripping with a sickly sweet kindness.
"I want him back in Azkaban for the rest of his days," Tonks continued in the same flat voice. What is the point of all this?
"No, no. You did not understand me, Miss Tonks. How did you feel about him back then? When you were little?"
Moody grunted loudly but no one seemed willing to pay him the slightest attention.
"I really liked him." Maybe I should not be saying this but… oh, whatever. "I used to think he was the best cousin ever."
Umbridge smiled triumphantly before continuing.
"Did you know, trainee Tonks, that you mother had written the Ministry on several occasions, asking for a trial for Sirius Black?"
Oh, whatev-… What?
"Excuse me?" something inside Tonks' brain seemed to be wanting her to pay closer attention. All of a sudden, her voice was not flat anymore and she was starting to feel something other than indifference, something strong, boiling inside her.
"Your mother, Andromeda Tonks, has sent letters to the Ministry, on a regular basis, asking us to hold a trial for Black. She had been asking the Wizengamot to give him a chance to prove his innocence." Umbridge gave a soft, high-pitched laugh at that, as if she was talking about the very funny actions of a deluded person.
"I had no idea my mother was doing such a thing. If I had known, I would have tried to stop her."
"And why is that, trainee Tonks?" asked Scrimgeour.
"Because I believe Black is guilty, I think he deserves to die in prison and I am going to do whatever it takes to bring him back to justice."
"Kingsley?" Scrimgeour asked.
"I don't have any questions, Sir," he said in his deep, calm voice.
"We are done, then." Scrimgeour said, and with a flick of his wand, he conjured a glass with a crimson liquid in it. "Drink it, trainee Tonks. It's the antidote for the Veritaserum."
She obliged hastily. In a matter of seconds the emotions took over again, the slight fear, the tiredness, and now rage. An unbelievable rage against her mother.
"You may go, then," Cornelius Fudge said. "Please contact Auror Moody tomorrow morning for your results."
Without pausing to say goodbye, she stood up hastily and snatching her wand from the Hit-Wizard at the door, she almost ran to the apparition point in the Atrium. Her mother was going to hear her alright.
Cameo appearance in Lupin's Tale Ch 37.
