A 'Little' Problem

Paul's POV:
Nina and Ian where at a convention and would be away for two days. That's why I am staying at Amber's now. We did lots of stuff together; we went grocery shopping went to the park with Ryan and she even accompanied me to my NA meeting. I didn't really like the meetings because they were public and not really anonyms because everybody knew who I was. After the meeting there was once again paparazzi standing outside. Amber and I walked past them but they kept following us all the way to our car. I really felt uncomfortable by it. When I sat in the car with Amber and she drove off , I couldn't hold my tears in anymore. "Why do they keep doing this" I asked her crying. "Why don't they just back off even after we asked them". I was really getting upset. Amber parked the car on the side of the road and took my hand while wiping my tears away. "Shh baby it is hard I know and they really are a couple of pigs". "But they don't know better and I am afraid they really aren't going to back off". "I know it is hard for you, but you have to deal with it rather sooner than later". "But you can be upset about it there is no shame in that".

"You know what" she said "we will head home it is 11 am and we are going to sit in the back yard with Ryan, take a jump in the pool and just relax". "Tonight I will cook something delicious and we will watch a movie". "How does that sound" she asked. I gave a small smile through my tears and said. "That sounds awesome baby I am already looking forward to it". "So" she said "we are going to kick my mom out of the house and do our thing". And we did.

Amber's POV:
It was sad to see Paul react to the paparazzi this way, granted they didn't leave him alone for a sec. And I knew it would be hard on him, but through his reaction I could see that he wasn't back to his old self. He was working on it, he was trying very hard. But although he didn't want to show it he was scared and he has had a few hard situations to deal with in the past few days. None of them resolved in a setback tough. He was a trooper. There was nothing more beautiful than to see him interact with his son. I was also glad that Ryan was so keen on his father.

When Paul and I arrived at our house my mother left and Paul and I took Ryan with us in the swimming pool. I really hadn't seen Paul in his swimming gear since everything happened and was really shocked at what I saw he really was skin over bones. He once had a lot of muscles and was a very strong man. He saw me stare and said. "Will you please tell me what you are thinking" he said. "Don't lie just be honest I can take it I promise you" he said. "You are very thin" I said "skin over bones". "It was kind of a shock when I saw you, but I don't care" I said walking up to him and holding him. "I love you just the way you are". He smirked and said "I am working on it, Ian and I will go running when he returns and I decided to go to the gym too". "I talked with the doctor about it and he said it was ok as long as I didn't go by myself and wouldn't overdue it. He knew that I once used to go everyday sometimes twice". "When that was required for TVD, so he limited it to twice a week". "Ian is going with me and Joseph will go with me once a week too, so that will be fun". "Yes it will be" I said to him.

The further talk of the time being in the pool was light. We swum with Ryan and sat in the Jacuzzi afterwards. Ryan was getting tired and I put him in a crib next to the Jacuzzi. I sat myself down in between Paul's legs and he wrapped his arms around me while I lay my head back onto his chest. "I can get used to this" he whispered while kissing my forehead. "That makes two of us" I said. That instance Ryan choose to let his presence known. "Three" I said smiling to Paul while he proceeded to take Ryan out of his crib. "Yeah little man" he cooed. "What is it are you hungry" he asked. "Yes he is" I said "come on let's get inside and feed the little guy".

Paul's POV:

This is what life is supposed to be. Be with your family in my case Ryan and Amber. I liked the time we spend together. I like the time I spend with Amber and Ryan but I also liked my alone time with Amber. And that's what I had last night. Amber's mother took Ryan and we went out for dinner. It was my first date in about a year and a half. There was no paparazzi in sight and we ate delicious Italian food at our favorite restaurant. " It's been a long time since we've been here" Amber said. "Yes indeed I almost forgot how good the food is here" I replied. After our dinner date we went to the movies we chose a comedy called grownups 2. We shared a popcorn and I had my arm around Amber's shoulder for the whole movie. We arrived home rather late, because we first went for a evening/night stroll through the park nearby.

When Amber and I got to the bedroom we started kissing and it went on and on. We hadn't kissed like that yet. Usually it was just a light peck on the lips. It went on and on and I liked it. But I think we both didn't had a clue what we were doing. Amber went down to my pants when I froze. She saw it instantly. "Sorry baby" she said "I was letting myself go". "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked. "No I am sorry" I said "it is just too soon". "Sorry" I said feeling extremely guilty. "No Paul it is ok" she said. "Come on we will just sleep now". I nodded ashamed when she pecked me again on my lips. "It is ok" Paul "really" she whispered. I turned and tried to sleep but it wouldn't come. I wanted to be intimate with Amber again. I really wanted it, but I was afraid; not for the commitment but that I couldn't be intimate with her that I couldn't satisfied her. I really needed to talk with Ian about something . Something I really only could discuss with him.

Ian's POV:
I was back for like an hour when Paul stood in front of the house again. "I need to talk with you" he said immediately. "Did something happen" I asked him. "Yeah" he said, "but don't worry it is really not what you think". "You will never guess where I need to talk with you about. "That's why I am talking this fast it will prevent me from stopping because this really isn't something you talk easily about and I am quite ashamed of it", he said blushing.

"Ok Paul" I said "breath and come in where do you want to discuss this, living room". "No" he said "Nina might overhear and I really don't want to lose all of my dignity". I nodded and we walked into the spare room turned into Paul's room temporarily. "So buddy what is going on" I asked him. "Swear me you won't laugh at me please" he begged. "Ok" I said really curious what had him all worked up. "The other day" he said, "Amber and I got very intimate almost till the point of you know what". I nodded. "What is bad about that" I asked him. "She didn't want to or you didn't want to". He shook his head ashamed and said "I pulled away I told her I couldn't just yet". "But that is ok Paul" I said "if you are not ready to let her in that much that is your decision and she will respect that". "I know she will" he said "and she does but it is not that I don't want too".

" I am afraid I can't" he said. "What do you mean by that" I asked carefully. "I mean that I am afraid it doesn't work anymore" he said softly. If this wasn't so serious for him this was rather a funny topic, but I saw that he was really concerned. "Why would you say that" I asked him. "Ok" he said "this will be between us ok". He nodded, "it hasn't worked since the last time I had sex with Amber which as you know was about a year and a half ago". "Actually I think the last time we had sex we conceived Ryan". "So you didn't have sex with anyone else" I said "what's the problem in that". "The problem is that I haven't even had a hard one in that time" he said ashamed. "When I was in a relationship with Amber I used to wake up sometimes with a hard one". "But really nothing happened since". "I am afraid can't get it up again" he said almost crying. "Buddy" I said "I think it will be ok". "But if for some reason it is not, there are things that can help you with it". "Damn it" he sighed.

"Paul" I said seriously "I don't think it is me you should have this conversation with I think you should tell Amber what you just told me". "Are you crazy" he shouted. "No Paul I am not" I said. "You should talk about it, I know for sure Amber will not laugh at you and you can take things slow". "If she knows what your problem is she will understand better why you pulled away earlier". He nodded. "Ok" I said "I will go on a limp here". "Nina and I will take Ryan tonight". "You will go to Ambers house spoil her talk to her and see if you are still active down there". "Because I see now it is bothering you very much and you shouldn't walk with it for too long, it will drive you crazy". "Just try and see how far you go and if it still works than nothing is the matter, besides this awkward conversation ok". He nodded "ok Ian" he said.

Paul's POV:
Shit he is right I really have to tell Amber. This is for the best. Ian drove me back to Amber's where he took Ryan and went back home to Nina. We ordered dinner in and I set the table up romantically. "What is all of this" she asked me. I shrugged "me showing you how much I love you". She shook her head, "Paul if this is about the other day don't bother". "I don't blame you it is ok I will wait as long as you need, it is not a big deal". "No" I said "you don't get it, it is not because I don't want to do those things with you or that I am not ready yet". "It is… shit how am I going to tell you this" I said while I walked her to the bedroom. "What Paul" she asked. "Ok" I said "Ian told me to tell you, but I am kind off ashamed of it". "Don't laugh please". "Paul what is it" she said. "I don't know if it still works down there". "Paul" she said "don't be ridiculous". "No" I said "don't". "You don't know", "so tell me" she said.

"It hasn't had any action or even worked for once since the last time we had sex". She looked at me. "You didn't have sex at all" she asked. "No" I shook my head. "Me neither" she said. I looked at her and felt somewhat relieved. "But why are you so scared that it doesn't work anymore" she asked. "Because" I said "I didn't have a hard one once since you know". "I used to wake up regularly with a hard one in the morning remember". She nodded. "Well nothing all those months nothing". "And now I am just scared what if it really doesn't work anymore". She sighed, "Paul if it doesn't work anymore then there are a lot of other solutions ok, don't worry". "I just think I should try it" I said. "Yes" she said, "but not now, maybe after dinner because it will become an obsession and I don't want that for you we will enjoy a fine romantic movie and let the romance come to us". "Ok" she said, "ok" I nodded.