It took weeks until Simmons was stable enough again to get close to fire without freaking out and trying to run through closed doors.
The therapy actually helped a ton with Grif always being close to the redhead throughout the whole experience to help ground him.
Kimball and Grey now started to talk about everything when Grif was further away or in a room close-by. They were trying to get Simmons stable enough to fight down panic attacks on his own, in case Grif wasn't around when he was having one in the future.
It was highly likely that Grif would be working or not around when Simmons had a panic attack at some point in the future, which is why Kimball wanted to teach Simmons how to get them in check on his own.
He often felt drained, although he felt better with every day that passed.
The treatment from Grey's weird healing spells was reduced to a minimum, as most of Simmons' scar tissue was as soft and less pronounced as Grey was able to get them.
Additionally, the redhead started up a light workout regimen to get his body to its old physical state—if not better.
Much to Grif's dismay, Simmons often spent hours learning instead of slacking off. When not studying and preparing for school, he helped the Freelancers with their ongoing project.
York had looked pretty weirded out that first time when the keys of the keyboard for Simmons' laptop seemed to start pushing down on their own with a text appearing on the screen as if it had been typed by an invisible hand.
Which was actually rather true with the whole invisible hand stuff if one thought about it.
He was thinking about how to phrase a part of his essay that he was in the process of writing for his soon-to-be coming graduation.
Compared to the last graduation he had gone through about two and a half years ago, Simmons felt much calmer in general.
Maybe it was because he knew that he was well-prepared for it this time around, or maybe it was because he had just become calmer in general.
Simmons didn't really care. He was calmer and that was a fucking blessing in his point of view.
Upon finishing the last paragraph of his essay once he felt okay with the wording, he closed the file and sent it to Kimball to look over. She held a master degree in all three of the biological fields of study that Simmons would graduate from in less than six months. She knew what to write about for them and what people wanted to know.
Actually, he was following in her footsteps so to speak and was possibly even at some point in the future going to be taking over one of the branches of the Sanctuary.
Stretching his sore legs, he heard a low 'ping!' coming from one of the safe computers in the library.
Checking it, he saw that the algorithm had found something. Copying the result and sending it to Kimball too with a quick notice, he then studied it.
There was the address of a research facility in the dark-web. It had come under the scrutiny of activists for the rights of Abnormals called ARA, short for Activists for the Rights of Abnormals, for researching and conducting experiments on Abnormals. The group even went so far as to accuse the facility of hijacking the victims they need for the research when the Abnormals in question weren't willing to accompany them voluntary.
Anyways, given that note in particular they seemed to have found some things quite unusual and unsettling concerning the facility.
Leaving the library, he went over to his room to clean it up a bit. Grif's influence made the room look like a mess constantly even though Simmons cleaned it almost daily to combat that.
Since they had last 'talked' about Grif moving in, it had become something like a given in both their lives.
Although nothing had ever been truly settled, Grif seemed to be of the opinion that this was a done deal already and therefore he was okay to move in.
Hell, he had even started sleeping in Simmons' bed together with him and was only using the mattress when he preferred being a wolven.
It wasn't like Simmons actually minded. He liked having the wolven around.
After getting past the initial block of memories in his mind, he had started remembering more and more about what exactly had happened to him before. Which also came about with a certain realization about his feelings for the wolven that ironically had hit him at the exact same moment as the fire had.
He smiled ruefully. If he hadn't forgotten what had happened or had realized it earlier, they would both be much farther by now.
But he had learned that looking back wasn't going to be helping the future any—which was something he had also picked up from Grif.
Thinking on it, he maybe should tell Grif at least once what it was that he felt.
That Grif seemed to feel deeper for him than just a friend was pretty obvious. All of this cuddling and kissing wasn't something you did with a friend, no matter how bad off or traumatized he was. Even Grif's almost chewing through the door to the infirmary when he wasn't allowed to visit him, as Kai had told Simmons later, was something you wouldn't do for a friend but for a mate instead.
He felt his face heating up again at the thought of Grif possibly having chosen him as his mate. It sounded terrifying and wonderful at the same time.
Terrifying because he knew what he could trigger if he rejected the wolven or did something unforgivable in terms of the pack, and wonderful because the possibility of the wolven liking him back was something that made butterflies start fluttering around in his stomach and caused a happy smile to spread over his face. It made him unbelievably happy in a way he wasn't sure he could ever accurately describe.
After finally having cleaned up enough to make his room look halfway passable, he set up the laptop on his desk and started listening to music. He decided to lie on his bed and enjoy a rare moment of slacking off that he treated himself to from time to time.
He closed his eyes and let his thoughts wander.
His mind drifted to think about Grif and the possible feelings he could have for the redhead, Simmons analyzing everything about the situation and what he could maybe do to find out if Grif really felt more for the other man than simple friendship.
After some moments, his thoughts wandered even further away and at some point they settled inside of his head. He took it as an opportunity to imagine his mind as a huge hallway filled with lots of doors.
There were doors that look like doors to a child's room, mostly holding dear memories of his childhood years. There were doors beaten up and bruised with the memories of his abusive dad. There were neatly cleaned and intact doors, the ones of his life after arriving here at the Sanctuary.
Then there came a charred door, obviously the door to the time when he had gotten so badly burned.
The next few doors were white, similar to the door to the infirmary and looking slightly fuzzy as if someone was looking at the door in question through wrongly adjusted glasses. Those were the memories of his time in the infirmary when he had been pumped full of pain medication up to his hairline.
Then came other doors. There were gray ones and brown ones. The gray ones were the ones from before he had remembered what had happened. The brown ones were the ones from after he had remembered everything.
He had opened them all in the therapies together with Kimball and Grey, save the charred one.
This one was closed and locked, Kimball suggesting that they only open it following another therapy session.
He didn't care, actually.
He wanted to go through his memories again on his own. He thought that he would be strong enough.
He flashed through his memories of the fight until he got to the point where he closed the door behind the enemy troops in the heart of the Sanctuary.
He knew that time was running out to get to the pool. How quickly time was running out he realized fully when Carolina let Caboose out without him even being remotely close to the safe room.
Simmons had known only one way to save himself.
Get into the water.
Either you get boiled alive or burned. In the water at least your chance to survive the incineration was slightly greater, although more than half of the water from Donut's tank had evaporated due to the heat during and after Caboose's attack. How Simmons managed to pull himself out of the tank following that was completely over his head.
Getting out of the water, he realized something.
That he loved that godawful lazy fuck of a wolven. And that he wanted to see him again.
In that moment between conscious and unconscious, he realized a lot he couldn't name yet, save being in love with the lazy excuse of a wolven. And that he wanted to see him again. And he wanted to be seen again by the wolven. He wanted to banter with him and laugh.
Opening his eyes, he felt the bed tilt slightly. Looking over he saw Grif, looking at the dent in the pillow worriedly.
"I told you that your face would get stuck if you look like that all the time." He joked.
Grif blinked, taken aback by the unconventional greeting before grinning, "Maybe I should try a change in my image then? Be more serious?"
"You?" Simmons scoffed in mock disbelief, "Never. It's going to be snowing in July first."
The wolven chuckled at that before looking slightly concerned again.
"How are you doing anyway?" the Hawaiian asked when he seemed to be sure that Simmons was really awake.
"I'm fine. I just can't get visible still. It's annoying." A sudden sadness overwhelmed the lanky nerd, making him sit up and stare down at his still invisible hands, "I often feel like nobody is going to notice me. Not that it was much different before, but with me being invisible they don't see me even less now."
"Bullshit." Grif scoffed, taking a proper seat beside the redhead and making their shoulders bump together as they were talking. He didn't seem to want to touch Simmons any more than that due to the rather delicate subject they were talking.
He shifted slightly before continuing, "You aren't invisible. People might not see you exactly, but that's what humans are like. They're blind to their surroundings. That has nothing to do with you being invisible in any meaning the word could have."
"But—" Simmons began, but Grif cut him off.
"I think in this case it's like with dying." Simmons cringed as that was a rather macabre comparison considering that he almost had done that weeks before, "As long as at least someone sees or remembers you, you aren't completely invisible or dead. Those who don't see you or forget you can go fuck themselves. What is more important are those who do try to see and remember you. You know…"
Grif scratched a part of his head with his hand like a wolven would scratch before continuing, and the idiot actually didn't use his foot for it this time which was a surprise.
"Many here in the Sanctuary ask how you are. They can't see you, so they often ask me how you are and if you're around because they know me or Kai can find you. They are interested in how you are doing and how the healing of your wounds is progressing. They care." Grif explained, fiddling with a thread from his worn out-shirt and exhaling loudly when he seemed to have gotten to the conclusion of what he had been saying.
He turned around, his eyes shortly searching the room before they settled on Simmons' eyes. The redhead could see his nostrils widen when he subtly sniffed the air.
When the wolven was sure that he had Simmons' undivided attention and was looking directly in his eyes, he then said in a stern voice that made Simmons believe him immediately, "It doesn't mean you're unseen just because you're invisible. People still 'see' you. Just because they can't see you, they aren't going to forget you."
There was a long, rather awkward silence with Grif fiddling with his fingers uneasily as Simmons stared down at his fingers and pondered over what he had just heard.
He wasn't unseen just because he was invisible. People besides Kimball, Carolina, Grey, and Grif were concerned about his wellbeing and wanted to know how he was doing. So maybe Grif really was right that he might be invisible but wasn't unseen by the other inhabitants.
It sounded too good for Simmons to fully believe it. He wanted to believe Grif, and he wanted to try to believe in that statement as it wasn't the first time Grif had told it to him either.
A low laugh escaped his lips finally, "Okay, I will keep that in mind." Simmons said, noticing Grif looking over to him out of the corner of his eyes, "Thank you." the smile he had on his face then got even wider and more honest.
Grif's eyes widened for a moment before he schooled his expression in a bored one, "Yeah, yeah… whatever, nerd."
"Hey, you were the one having a philosophical moment akin to 'Why are we here?'." Simmons shot back at him.
Grif flipped him off at that, getting up from the bed and leaving the room after suppling Simmons with the information that he was going to take a shower.
Simmons, for his part, flopped down on the bed and closed his eyes again while thinking of nothing in particular for the moment.
He felt something going on in his subconscious, but he didn't pay much attention to it. Sometimes it was better to just let the mind wander without you trying to control its steps and finding out why exactly it was going this way or that at the end of the journey.
He exhaled deeply, spontaneously deciding to let himself 'fall' in a figurative way of speaking.
It was strange, actually. When he let go of all of the things he usually dwelled on or thought about, he suddenly felt something shift within his body and his mind.
Opening his eyes when he noticed the change, he sat up and looked around. He was still at the same place and his hand looked the same like always.
Wait a second…. His hand!?
Incredulously, he stared down at his hand. He had turned visible again!
He still couldn't completely believe what had happened, but he wanted to try it out. He turned invisible and visible several times, his smile getting wider and wider each time he managed to successfully turn invisible and visible.
When the door opened, the redhead hastily turned invisible and looked over to the wolven entering the room with his hair still dripping slightly.
"You haven't dried your hair." Simmons remarked, biting back the excited comment he wanted to make just then about him being able to turn visible again.
"So? Didn't feel like it." Grif replied, carelessly tossing the dirty clothes towards the washing basket in the room and missing it by an inch.
Simmons sighed at that: he would be cleaning up this mess tomorrow too.
"You won't be sleeping in the bed with wet hair." Simmons retorted, looking at the wolven with a slightly annoyed expression.
Grif was such a fucking slob sometimes.
"And what are you going to do? Make yourself larger so you don't leave me any space on the bed to sleep?" although his tone was biting, Simmons could see in Grif's eyes that he didn't intend on it being mean.
"No, I thought about drying your hair because I know you aren't going to do it. Now come over here." His voice was so calm it left Grif gaping at the redhead in surprise once more, only for him to subsequently nod and sit down on the bed next to the redhead without any more replies.
Simmons snatched the towel and shifted to sit behind the wolven, starting to dry his still wet black hair.
He knew that human-Grif liked to get touched at the place his wolven ears would be. Indeed, there was a content hum coming from the wolven at the motion.
When the redhead thought that Grif's hair was dry enough, he put the towel aside and laid his head on the wolven's shoulder.
"I actually want to tell you something." Simmons began, his hands coming to a rest beside the Hawaiian's hips.
Ocean blue eyes settled on Simmons' left side of his face as Grif regarded him, "And that would be?"
"I think," Simmons spoke slowly, "It would be better if I just show you."
Grif still looked over to Simmons before averting his eyes and looking over to the window where the sun was setting.
"Then go ahead." Grif muttered, obviously thinking Simmons would get up to show him whatever it was that he wanted to show him.
Well, not this time.
He grinned mischievously before stating, "Then you should be looking."
"Huh?" Grif turned his head to look at the redhead, before turning around completely and looking at the place where the redhead was.
"Just look and wait." The smile was now obvious in his voice.
Simmons closed his eyes, hoping that it would work out and Grif would still be looking. He knew that he could turn without any problem, however he decided to do so the same way that he had turned visible again some minutes before by letting himself 'fall' mentally and feeling something shifting within his body during the process.
He felt Grif taking in air sharply before muttering breathlessly, "No way!"
"Sure way." Opening his right eye, he could see the wolven staring at him. This staring prompted him to open the other eye, causing the wolven to stare even more.
"What is that?" he pointed at Simmons' eye, the redhead flinching as Grif almost pricked his eye.
"What is what?" the redhead asked. He felt pretty damn confused, blinking rapidly to find some kind of sense behind the Hawaiian's exclamation.
"Your eye!" Grif exclaimed, "It's red! It's fucking red!"
"Huh? What?" Simmons' voice immediately rose in pitch.
Grif got up and got out his phone to take a photograph of Simmons' eye and showed it to Simmons afterwards.
Indeed, his left eye had turned into a reddish brown color that almost looked completely red considering how fair the brown looked compared to the reddish tint.
He couldn't help but say the first thing that came to his mind at the sight, "Jesus fucking Christ, I look like a fucking cyborg."
Grif laughed in amusement, looking at the redhead really for the first time in quite a while, "Sarge would be so fucking happy to see you right now."
"Ugh, thanks. I'll pass." Simmons muttered, shuddering at the mental image of Sarge fussing over him because of his fucking red eye.
Grif again laughed that full belly laugh of his, shaking his head. When he calmed down, the laugh faded slowly away until there was nothing more than a fond smile on his lips.
"Anyways, it's nice to see that you're able to control your ability again." His eyes softened, and his smile became even softer along with them.
Simmons couldn't help but mirror the expression on the Hawaiian's face, "Yeah, I'm happy I managed to turn visible on my own again. That is a huge relief for me. I fought pretty hard to get to this point. But I couldn't have done that without you."
"Not without me?" the Hawaiian asked, surprised and looking at the redhead with widened eyes.
"Yep, not without you. I knew you would have my back whether I could turn visible again or not, and that you could still find me. Besides the thing you said before about the being invisible but not unseen made me realize that I really am a part of something now and not the outsider I had been before arriving at the Sanctuary." Simmons explained before adding, "And because I cared about you and what you said, I tried it again when you were showering and managed it."
Grif chuckled quietly, "That's why I love you, actually."
Simmons' face immediately flushed bright red at that, the change in his facial color pretty nicely displayed on his face now that he was visible again.
"You what!?" the redhead squeaked, noticing his voice again rising up in pitch and his face turning an even darker crimson shade.
Grif looked mildly surprised at the reaction, "I said I love you. Because you care and you are the way you are. Also, because you accepted me and Kai the way we are. I hadn't noticed it until the accident, but it became clear to me when you were in the artificially induced coma some weeks ago." the Hawaiian explained, playing the nonchalant asshole.
However, Simmons could see right through the mask he was trying to put up. He caught the nervous glint in Grif's eyes and how his eyes travelled around restlessly, how his fingers twitched like he wanted to play with them to lessen his nervousness but restrained himself from doing so.
It took some moments for what he had said to truly sink in with the redhead. When the full realization finally hit him, he couldn't help but start laughing uncontrollably.
He didn't know why he was laughing, but he just felt so happy and had the sudden urge to show his happiness by laughing.
Grif's expression changed slightly, now clearly showing doubt as to whether or not Simmons had actually just lost his mind in response to Grif's statement.
The facial expression actually softened when he heard Simmons' next words although the first few sounded like a heavy insult: "You're such a fucking lazy asshole: a cynical, sarcastic slob who doesn't care about anything other than slacking off and eating." He smiled, "But that's exactly why I love you."
"Heh, sounds like I made a wise choice then." Grif muttered, a light pink tinting his cheeks now too.
"Looks like it." Simmons replied as the red on his face intensified again, spreading up to the tips of his ears and down his neck to his chest.
Grif chuckled once more before muttering fondly and leaned closer to the redhead, "You're such a fucking nerd."
"And you're a fucking lazy-ass." Simmons replied just as warmly as the wolven had before, closing the gap between them by grabbing Grif's shirt and pulling him in.
