CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Present day...
Scully was sitting in the waiting room. William was sound asleep in her arms; his tiny arms wrapped limply around her neck as she rubbed his back gently.
She had called the ambulance immediately after Mulder collapsed at her door.
Mulder was in pretty rough shape when he got to Scully's door. The doctor said he was lucky to be alive. With the broken ribs and the internal bleeding he was lucky there was no irreparable organ damage. He had a long partially healed incision down his sternum and three faded circular abrasions on each cheek.
His lungs were working in overdrive when Mulder collapsed, and five minutes before they reached the hospital, his lung collapsed.
Scully buried her face in her son's hair and paced back and forth in the hallway.
The doctors said he was going to be fine, they could find nothing wrong with him, other than the obvious physical detriments. The only thing they could discern with complete certainty was that he collapsed because his broken rib had punctured his lung. They said that due to the amount of healing that had occurred on his external epidermis Mulder's outer injuries occurred more than a month ago. However the internal injuries were newer, maybe ten days old, but until the snapped rib nicked the lung, the pain would have been substantial and escalating, but bearable.
Mulder was transferred into ICU after his lung was re-inflated and he was still unconscious and on a lot of morphine. She opened the door to his room and peered in.
She just needed to make sure that he was okay.
She wasn't sure what him returning meant. He could have been treated at any hospital.
Why did he show up at her door?
Did he come back for her?
He could have showed up at any time, he could have come back whenever he chose, so why did he use imminent death as his motivation?
Fear can prompt uncharacteristic behavior.
It can change people.
19 months ago…
Scully had given birth to her son about a month ago. It was two in the afternoon and all the lights were off and all of the blinds were closed. She stared into the darkness as tears streamed down the sides of her face.
Her door opened and her mother came in rolling William's empty basinet and relocated it beside Scully's bed. She left the room momentarily and came back in carrying William.
Scully pulled herself slightly up against her headboard and pushed her hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ears.
Maggie flipped on the light before placing William in his basinet.
Scully had been going to therapy lately. When the depression didn't let up Maggie Scully got worried. At the beginning it was advised that Scully take some time for herself until the hormones leveled out. But in Scully's case they never did.
They started forcing contact with the baby in hopes that the physical contact would help the process. The breast pump was taken away and she was about to try breastfeeding for the first time since the day he was born.
"Is he hungry?" Scully asked her mother quietly.
"Yes," she answered.
Scully was silent for a moment.
"Why is this so hard?" she finally asked.
Maggie sat down beside her daughter and placed an arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple. "It will get easier."
Scully began to unbutton her top as Maggie scooped her grandson out of the basinet.
Maggie placed William into her daughter's arms and Scully apprehensively held him up to her chest. William was reluctant and he squirmed in her embrace.
"He doesn't want to."
"Relax honey, he's only hesitant because you are so tense. You just need to relax."
Scully took a deep breath and held it. She let it out slowly and she repositioned her son, but he still refused. "Please William," she breathed. "Please," she said and she stroked his hair.
He started to writhe against her and began to cry.
She held out her son to her mother immediately.
Maggie shook her head and Scully gave her a pleading look before pulling her son back to her chest and rocking him slowly.
Why did she want to be a mother? She couldn't do this? She wasn't any good. She was failing her son.
Not only was she was a terrible mother but she also chased off his father.
She looked down and for the first time in what feels like forever she made eye contact with her little boy and he stopped crying.
He calmed in her arms and stared up at her as she smiled down at him.
She attempted to nurse him again and this time he latched on.
