every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end.


January 4th

I click off the line and let my hand fall. Poor Jane.

I walk to the door and grab my coat, rushing down the stairs and letting myself down into the backyard. I can see Will's house from here, but I look up instead. It's gray and bleak- great, weather to match my mood. I can't believe Charlie could move on so easily! He seemed so smitten and sweet . . . and now, well, now he seemed like a complete user! Taking advantage of a willing girls' heart and then tossing it when you're done, I scoff to no one. Then again it could all be some elaborate set up by William. Turning the card and shutting Jane out; makes sense. The first of rain pellets start to fall- I lift my hood up.

"It's raining." I hear from behind me. I don't turn to acknowledge Will coming to sit beside me. "Gonna catch a cold."

"Could always catch pneumonia." I say flatly. He gets quiet.

Not for long, "I wanted to talk to you." I stay quiet. "About us, or well me- maybe you, I really don't know." He rubs the back of his neck as he braces himself on his legs by his arms. I grow still. "I know you have some hostility hung over from the whole Wickham debacle, but I want to tell you that I like you, Lizzie."

I gulp. "You like me." I phase it as a question and say it as a statement.

"Yeah, I mean I've tried to stop it, you know- pushing you away, shutting down around you, but I can't seem to stop- the feelings don't want to obey." He chuckles and I nod as the rain falls more solidly.

I brush my hands down my soaked jeans hard and get ready to stand. "Well, thanks for telling me. I'll make sure to stay out of your way so you can finish shutting me out." I reply lifelessly. I get up, shoes making noises in the wet grass and start to head back for the house.

"Wait," a hand grabs my arm, spinning me around- why is everyone grabbing me these days? Do I have a sign that reads here, grab at me? "That's it?" He now looks miffed.

I try my hardest to look bored when I'm seething. "I'm sorry, did you want me to say 'oh, me too! I really like you and wanna be with you forever!'?" He looks at me confused, searching my eyes. "Well, sorry. I just don't see how it could work considering you ruined my sisters life." He gives me a strange look. "Oh, you know, by telling your brother that she was only chasing him for money? Thanks for that by the way, William; Jane's be inconsolable ever since." I turn away and start walking again, only to give up and turn back around, screaming through the down pour as my hood slide off. "You know, Wickham might be a sorry boyfriend- but you could've been a better friend to him also! He told me everything, you know!" I walk to him with a fierce determination. Fire burned under my skin with hatred. My hair was soaked along with my clothes but I didn't care. "You claim to have feelings for me which you try to push away, but you seem to enjoy causing pain and drama in my life!" I accuse him, his eyes growing wide and my anger grew. "What? You want me to be a damsel in distress? You want me weak and hurt so you can rush in like a knight in shining bloody armor?" I ask him. I could feel my skin heating up with my mood and lightning echoed through the air with its bright light. A perfect Mary Shelly moment. "Too bad, William, because you aren't getting that with me!" I'm close enough to see his eyes.

"I didn't know you knew-"

I scoff in disbelieving agony at not making my point. "What? Are you serious? You can't-"

He yells right back at me and I am taken aback. I didn't expect that. "If you'd let me finish, Elizabeth! I didn't know you knew about it all! And by the way, the feelings I feel, I pushed them away because your family shames you! Except for Jane, which you say that her faults laid against her by my sister-"

"Georgiana?" I'm confused.

"Caroline; are untrue, and at times your father- you are wrapped in a cloud of distaste because of your mother and three sisters- you really think I would want them in my life?"

"Oh, thank you for being so honest!" I fire back in sarcasm. "You think I would want to be aligned with someone who schemes and manipulates with Ms. High and Mighty? You think I could like you?" I set right up to him. So close I could feel his heat radiating out and mixing with mine. I lower my voice to lethal. "You disgust me, William Darcy." His eyes show hurt before erasing it and putting anger back in it's place. I return my voice to normal. "You take everything and ruin it. You ruin the happiness of those around you and you burn houses to get what you want." The lightning fires again through the sky as our emotions run wild, passion in hate. "You would so be a sith, you know that?"

"Well, Elizabeth, I can say the same about you." He talks me down. I'm so close; I can see the gold highlighting his green eyes. I can feel the pull, the electricity. If we touch, I feel as if my skin would light on fire like rain is the gasoline and Will, the igniter. I'm so close; his body heat pulls at me, grasping me in smoky tendril.

"Go to hell." I whisper, breaking the spell and turning. Ignoring the part of me that actually wanted to kiss the brute.


January 5th

"Hello?" I was shocked to hear Will's voice on the other end of the call. Why did I choose not to look at the number? I ask myself.

"Hey." I answer back with a hard voice. I was steel after what he did; nothing he said would ever break down the barrier that I had put in place. He might not be able to see me to gauge my anger but I will make it known. I will scream it through the phone or scream it off of the roof. I will yell it from the tallest tower and into the deepest well until it echoes across the layer of this world.

I. Was. Pissed.

I open my mouth to tell him this but he beats me to the punch. "Don't talk." What? How dare he tell me to be quiet! He was in the wrong- he did my sister wrong! Why wasn't I telling him this?

Because a part of me, no matter how mad, wants to hear him out. I shake my head as he finally continues. "I know what you're probably thinking; that why in the world would I call you instead of sending a letter or email when you just told me off for being the biggest jerk in the world." I nod my head to the side, silently agreeing with him on that point. "Well, to be honest, I'd thought you'd delete it or tear it up." He goes silent and a smirk plays on my lips. I cross my arm over my chest as I stand by the window looking over at the mansion his grandmother owned across from Collins' family home. "Briefly last night, when I ask you a question, you told me that I have done two things that had resulted in bad happenings." Bad happenings? Did he live in the 19th century? "One I knew about, the other was lies. You first yelled at me for George's sake- and honestly you are way too good for him." My face twisted in confusion; I had said awful things to him and yet I am too good? I round the living room, thankful to be alone during this conversation.

I sit down in one of the chairs that was soft and plushy and lean my head on the back of it as I place my legs over the side, when I hear his voice again. "Elizabeth, the matter of our separation from George is quite far from what he told you." A pause. "It is true that I do hold his inheritance that my father, stupidly, put in his will. It is also true that I refuse to hand it over as I am now to age to do so." A breath. "But he spent the first part of it, nearly 10,000 pounds, in the red district at only 16, when he was allowed that much. It took him 6 months, and then he came back to me, wanting more." I had my hand over my mouth, not in disbelief- no, this I could believe. But in a thinking way: thumb at the bottom lip, point in between the two, while the rest curl around? That was how I had it. My other arm rested on my legs, which had repositioned me upright during the duration of this revelation, as I held the phone to my ear with that arm. "When I refused, he tried to charm Georgiana." I felt my brow furrow. Darcy's kid sister? What the hell? "He did succeed to the point where she had a check ready for him- but thankfully my cousin, the one you are fond of, and I stopped her and proved what a low-life he really was." He sat in silence with me as that all sunk in. "Are you still there?"

"I am." I hear him breathe out in relief. "Is that all true? Are you telling me the guy I dated was basically a cradle robber and druggie?" I replied in a rush, already knowing the truth but having to ask anyway.

"Yes." I close my eyes and my hand moves from my mouth to my head, cupping my forehead. I rub my temples absently.

"And my sister? Why about you messing with her and Charlie?" I remind him and he takes a deep breath, preparing for his next tale. "That one is shorter, actually. Back in our old home, Bingley had a girlfriend- a cheerleader. She and he dated for about 4 months before Caroline overheard her telling her friends that if she played her cards right, they would graduate and she would be set up for life with him. My sister came to me and I told him. We move to Longbourn and that was that." He pauses and I stay silent. He takes that as his cue to continue. "Jane was sweet; she was honest and like you, wears her heart on her sleeve. Caroline came to me after the dance thing and asked me to split them up. I didn't see reason to so I asked her to bring me proof and so she brought me a picture and a recording- and I saw a girl who showed more affection to her own sister and Jane gave everyone else a equal amount. I didn't see a girl in love, Lizzie- I saw a girl who showed him no more love than that of a family friend." I sit quietly before getting up and pacing around the room. "I did it for my brother." He reasons and I realize that we aren't so different, if I saw my sister falling in love with a guy who showed more affection to family, I would've intervened. "I hope you can see me reasons and forgive my faults."

I hear a button click over. The call was ended. "Thank you." I say barely above a whisper as I let my hand pull the phone from my ear.


For being away so long, have and Lizzie and Darcy fight with tension!