AN: Well, here it is. The 29th try. Yes, it's a decommissioning one, and a bit different in scenery than the one included in 'Just Reminisce'. In other news...eek! I can't believe I made it this far! Thank you so much to everyone who favorited, everyone who alerted, and ESPECIALLY those especial little crumpets who reviewed time and time again! Special thanks to my big sis, TheUglyTurtleduckling, who may or may not ever read this! Oh, and a caution to my more sensitive readers, there is one teensy weensy little bad word in this one. It's not bad, but the rating is low so I figured I'd warn you. This is what the + is for, I suppose. XD
Averon the Awesome (Hey guess what? IT'S JANUARY FOURTH.) KNDNumbuuh3.4 (All are welcome in my domain. Here, let me dry your tears. Only to cause you to shed more in 2-3 minutes, depending on your reading speed. Thanks so much for making yourself heard!) numbuh 46 (Your dedication and loyalty is a constant inspiration to reviewers everywhere.) Orihime-San (Thank you so much!) Kochua2012 (More aww to come!) Mortia T. Mouse (Don't say goodbye just yet! I'll miss your reviews. ;D) SareBear96 (Thank you so much! That is exactly what I set out to do, I'm so glad it came out right!) swimming-toon-lover (Thanks so much for reviewing!) leafysummers (You're sort of a little bit right…and sort of a little bit not…XDD Read on! I'm so glad you enjoyed the story!) Zeeberg (Yes, there is always that. XDD And the fact that Wally eventually gets a cooler haircut.) i88 (Thank you so much! That is a huge compliment to me. I'm so glad you like it.) NinjaNovelist (Stop it, you're going to make me cry… Thank you so much for the love!) GirlyGirl9898 (*whistles casually* We shall see…XD Thanks for the review!) Painty Trancy (Because the world is mean. Case in point: this chapter. Thanks for your support!) writer-person2 (Oh just you wait.) partygirl2000 (…No. XDD I'm so glad you like it! And I'm kind of glad I made you cry. Is that weird? It's weird. Thank you for reviewing!) Greeksoccerstar (I'm so glad I'm still getting new readers! I'm glad you enjoy it, thank you!) numbuh254 (Thank you so much!) deLattre (Thanks for your support! It's been a long road, but the end is in sight!) tater06 (And the reward for longest review goes to…! XD Oh, you are the most perfect reviewer. You always point out everything I wanted to be realized in subtext. I really hope you're not me signing in under a different name. I totally agree with you about dumb conversations. I try to have them with strangers and if they play along I know we can be friends. :D Thank you so much for your never-ending support and praise and oh! Respect? How novel, thank you! You are my favorite spud, tater.) charmedprincess101 (Thanks for your support! I remember when I turned thirteen….who am I kidding, no I don't.) numbah435spiritsong (Yes! Thanks so much for reviewing.) Ed Nigma (I'm sorry about your feels. New chapter? Well, it might make it worse…Thanks for your review!) Numbah1999 (That's what you get for being idle! XDD Thanks so much for your support and reviews! Toasty out!)
I feel like I use too many exclamation points in review responses, but I'm very enthusiastic about you all.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, dudes and dudettes, operatives of all ages, TickleTheToast presents...the last try.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but these tears on my cheeks (unfortunate truth).
29 Tries
Attempt #29 – The Thirteenth
Happy Birthday to me.
Numbuh Four didn't plan on staying up. He didn't plan on watching the minutes tick by on his watch. He didn't plan on feeling absolutely no different when the LED read 12:00 – the moment he turned thirteen. Were his thoughts turning to trickery? Did he have a sudden urge to attack his teammates? Was crunching numbers in a cubicle like his dad looking less deplorable?
No, no, and no.
So why did he have to leave the Kids Next Door? It was his whole life! What would he do without it?
Who would he be without Numbuh One to lead him and keep him on the straight and narrow? Who would he play Yipper with but Numbah Two, his dorky best friend? How would he get through school without Numbah Five, the older sister he'd never knew he needed? What would he ever do without Numbuh Three?
Numbuh Three...Kuki...how could he leave her behind? He'd never kissed her, never gone on a date with her, never even told her how he felt.
You'll forget.
A little voice in the back of his head spoke up, indulgent, hopeful; familiar.
You'll forget all about her and your team. You won't remember to miss them. You're the one getting off easy.
Numbuh Four swallowed uncomfortably. 'You're the one getting off easy'.
He finally fell into a fitful sleep with those words weighing heavily on his mind.
The morning was tense.
Everyone was smiling. They wished him happy birthday. There was cake. There were presents. There were hugs forced upon him and his hair was ruffled by familiar twelve-year-old hands. Everyone smiled and laughed and had a great time.
None of it was real. In the pits of everyone's stomach there was a tar-black depression of impending reality. After today, things would be different. Five would become four.
Numbuh Four didn't get a big stadium exit. That was for elites and team leaders, like Maurice. There was a cake outside the decommissioning chamber; an orange cake with thirteen candles and the number four lined in icing. Numbuh Eighty-Six stood nearby, back straight and poised at attention with two guards flanking her. The rest of the room was empty but for Number Four and his team.
It was time.
"Numbuh Four of Sector V, you are hereby scheduled for immediate decommissioning!"
Not before I say goodbye, he added silently.
Numbuh One stuck out his hand for him to shake, a loose smile on his face. Numbuh Four took it, trying not to think about how much he would miss his leader. "You were a good operative, Numbuh Four," the bald-headed Brit said. "Or, I suppose it's just Wally, now."
Not yet, Numbuh Four thought defiantly. I'll be Numbuh Four until the end.
"I don't know what the team is going to do without you." Typical Numbuh One – always thinking of the team. His reflection in Numbuh One's sunglasses looked a little strained, so Numbuh Four forced a grin.
"Yeah, you guys'll be getting your butts beat by the Toiletnator if I'm not there, eh?"
Numbuh One nodded with that same strange smile, and Numbuh Four realized they were still shaking hands. Numbuh One seemed to realize the same thing, and suddenly gave in and pulled Numbuh Four into a hug, their clasped hands stuck between them. Embarrassed and surprised, Numbuh Four patted his leader awkwardly on the back. Numbuh One let go quickly, clearing his throat.
"Ahem. So, yes."
"Yeah."
Numbuh Five chuckled a bit at the scene and looked at Numbuh Four with that same easy smile she always wore. "Hey, birthday boy," she said, tipping her hat. "Ya know, Numbuh Five's really gonna miss you."
He shrugged, replying honestly. "Yeah, I'll miss you, too." He caught himself. "Well, not really, but you get the point. I'll never pass History without you."
She chuckled. "Numbuh Five will help you as best she can, okay?"
Numbuh Four grinned, though the good bit of old humor was coupled with crippling grief. "Okay."
Then they were hugging, and he felt his heart break a little when something wet touched his cheek. But when they pulled apart, Numbuh Five just patted his shoulder with a warm smile, her eyes shadowed in the brim of her hat.
Numbuh Four moved along to Numbuh Two, feeling weirdly like the product in some kind of assembly line. Except they were taking him apart instead of putting him together.
A big grin on his face, Numbuh Two hugged his best friend like guys do, a quick double-pat on the back and no touching below the chest. But it lasted a heartbeat too long just for an extra squeeze, and that said more than words ever could.
"Hey Numbuh Four? Where do you find a birthday present for a cat? In a cat-alogue!"
Numbuh Two burst out laughing, and because it was the lamest joke they'd ever heard and everything felt so the same, they all laughed along with him like it was the funniest damn thing in the world.
And as Numbuh Four stepped to the right, he almost forgot who came next. Then he met her eyes and everything else receded into the background.
"What goes up and never comes down? Your age! Hahaha-ow!"
"Shut up, fool, the moment's gone."
Numbuh Three was letting her last few giggles out, a smile still on her face as she looked at him with her head tilted to the left. He studied her face as if he'd never see it again, which, in a way, he wouldn't.
Her narrow brown eyes that turned up at the edges and that one lock of silky hair that didn't fall right with the rest and her pointy little nose and the gap in her teeth and the smiling bow lips that he'd never kissed, not really, and...it was all going away. Forever.
He smiled back at her because it was all he could do and she reached for him and he hugged her and...it was all going away. Forever. Forever.
He wished the hug could last that long. They stood shoulder to shoulder, chest to chest, toe to toe; as close as they could get with their arms wrapped around each other in an embrace that was struggling not to seem desperate. He felt her hand move up his neck and into his hair, knotting her fingers in it as if she could hold the memories in there herself.
Then Numbuh Four knew he had to tell her now, right now, before it was too late and he didn't remember why he liked her so much.
I like you. I like you. I really like you. You're way more to me than just a teammate or a friend or a cruddy girly-girl, and I would've been whatever you wanted me to be. I'd do anything for you. I don't want to forget that. I wanted to do so much more.
He opened his mouth, lips brushing the shell of her ear, but closed it just as quickly when the words wouldn't come. What was the point? He would forget and she'd be dragged along by these feelings for a boy who didn't know her for months and months until she forgot, too. It wasn't worth the words, or the courage it would take. He couldn't be selfish now.
He'd waited too long.
There was a gentle tug at the waistband of his jeans, the feeling of two little fingers sliding something into his pocket. He pulled his head from her shoulder, cheek dragging briefly along hers in a trail that burned. Before he could ask, her hands had covered his and her lips were on his cheek.
"Happy birthday, Numbuh Four."
The burn turned to ice, and Numbuh Four wasn't sure when he let go or who stepped back first, but then he was done with his goodbyes without once saying the word.
Numbuh Four stared down at his birthday cake. He wasn't really supposed to eat it. Traditionally, the decommissioned operative's teammates would dig into it back at the treehouse, as a final salute to their comrade.
Screw that. Numbuh Four's last feat of rebelliousness in the KND was running a finger through the orange icing and sticking it in his mouth. It was good.
Then he blew out his candles, all thirteen, and it was over.
He almost laughed when Numbuh Two suddenly burst into tears, and might have if he didn't feel his own throat closing up.
Numbuh Eighty-Six was already herding him toward the door, and he could see the hulking mass of the decommissioner in the shadows. It was happening. Now. Sudden spasms in his chest made him stop, bracing his palms against the doorframe with blood rushing in his ears.
"Hey! Don't even think about running, teenager!"
His eyes darted helplessly, feeling sudden panic. Maybe he should run. Nigel, Abby, Hoagie, Kuki...
He turned around to look at them, grouped around his birthday cake with their arms wrapped around themselves, each other. The smoke from his candles was spinning into the air over the scene, painting it all in the hazy script of lost memories, as if they were already fading away.
Numbuh Four wished he could say 'don't forget about me,' but how selfish would that be?
He wanted to go into this gracefully, with pride and dignity, but it was too hard.
He looked at his team, standing without him at their side. They looked back; sad, strong, worried, lost, resilient, heartbreaking, irritating, wonderful, and still, still together. His eyes prickled.
What was he looking for? For one of them to say 'psyche!' and that he got to keep his memories after all? Was he expecting them to fight for him?
No. He wouldn't ask that, because he knew they would do it.
Numbuh Four flicked his gaze to Kuki. She smiled, like he knew she would, and he realized with a jolt that this was the last time he would see her.
He'd had this urge before, but never before had he felt so strongly that he wanted to stride forward, gather her in his arms, and kiss her until he knew that happy smile would be all because of him. He might have done it, too, but there were two lasers fixed on his chest and a voice was shouting in his ear and then he was being pushed backwards, away from her.
He didn't have time to fight or kiss or eat the rest of his cake, because all his friends were twelve and he wasn't. As the door slid shut on his childhood, the last thing he saw was Kuki's smile, faltering.
The silence was deafening. The change from a thinly veiled goodbye to the kids he'd known for all of his life that had mattered to a cold chamber with a girl who hated him made him want to cry. It was like none of anything mattered.
Numbuh Four sat heavily in the chair under the machine, not even caring when the belts strapped themselves around his arms and chest, and remembering the last time he'd sat here. At least he'd been with the rest of them then.
"Hey, Numbuh Eighty-Six?"
She looked up from the control switch with a glare. "What?!"
"Just wondering if I'm cute enough not to be decommissioned yet," he replied with a rather melancholy grin, tugging halfheartedly at his restraints.
Seeming surprised, Fanny paused, turning just slightly pink under her freckles. Then she gave him a sad little smile, voice unexpectedly fond and making him wonder if even she would miss him a little. "Not even close." Then she pulled the switch, and Numbuh Four knew no more.
Wally jerked awake in his chair. He must've dozed off. Some girl in a samurai cap was pulling the cuffs off his wrists. Wait, what?
"What're you-" He pulled his hands away; wait, there were no cuffs. Weird. He wiped the drool from his chin, feeling the questions that were forming on the edge of his mind slip away. The girl spoke up in a loud Scottish brogue.
"Well, stand up, then!"
He frowned. "Huh?"
She frowned right back, glowering at him through red-rimmed eyes. "You're done! Stand up!"
"Done with what?"
Her scowl weakened. "With your middle school aptitude test." Her voice had turned monotone, like reading from a prompter, for only a moment before she seemed to catch herself and put on a fierce green glare again. "Now stand up!" With a mighty tug that proved her much stronger than he'd thought, the girl pulled him out of the chair. "You're going home!"
Oh, right; the aptitude test. The memory floated up from the recesses of his mind as soon as she said the words. He just took an aptitude test. He was done with it now. He should stand up. Then he could go home.
The redheaded girl stomped to the door, barking at him to follow. Wally followed in step behind her, not once looking back to see where exactly he had been sitting or taking the time to wonder why a girl his age was in charge of the test.
"So... how did I do?"
"Horrible," she snapped without turning.
Figures.
He stepped out into a large room – there were a few other kids there he didn't know, who all looked up when he came out. Wally figured they were waiting to take the test. One of the girls must have been really nervous, because she was practically bawling.
Wally debated telling her it wasn't that bad, but he couldn't really remember if that was right. He walked past the group with a casual nod in their general direction. As he followed the freckled chick, the girl's wails reached a tragic pitch. Some people really took their education seriously.
The loud girl took him out to what she said was a taxi – it must have been a new model, because it didn't look like any taxi he'd ever seen. She told him to buckle up and he would be home in a few minutes.
As Wally strapped himself in, the girl turned to leave. Then she hesitated, removing her helmet to let a mane of bushy red hair spring up around her face. She was still glaring, looking at him, but her mouth bobbed slightly as if there were words on her tongue that were too afraid to jump. He raised an expectant eyebrow, but the moment he did her face twitched into a glare once more, jaw snapping shut. Without a word she whisked out in a flash of fiery curls. He forgot about her the moment she left.
The door sealed. The driver said something. There was a lurch as the taxi took off. He couldn't even feel the road.
Wally reached into his pocket to find some gum – his mouth tasted sugary, for some reason – but there was something else lodged in there that scraped his callused fingers. Brow furrowing, he slipped it out.
It was a sheet of paper about the length of his thumb, folded clumsily in overlapping squares. He picked at the corners and let it unfurl, the layers fluttering open as if it had been opened and reopened dozens of times before. Wally turned it over, and was perplexed to see only two sentences written in pencil, one on top of the other.
The first was faded and smudged slightly, the script fast and messy, barely legible in the poor quality.
'I lik yoo'
The second was carefully inscribed in cursive, the letters looping in a pleasantly feminine way.
'I like you, too.'
Wally frowned.
This wasn't his – maybe his jeans had gotten mixed up with someone else's at the laundromat's?
Without another thought about the paper or what heartsick girl had written, with trembling hands, her answer to a confession that was two years too late, Wally crumpled the note carelessly into a ball and tossed it across the large space within the car. It fell slowly, like the paper itself was reluctant to let go of the past. But it wasn't Wally's past; not anymore.
It landed straight in the trash chute, and he pumped his fist with a whoop – maybe he was tall enough to try out for basketball this year.
Wally's thoughts turned to boyish things like sports and food and bikini-clad women – teenager things, and spared no thought for the child he was not five minutes before.
He didn't know about the places he'd wanted to go, or the Yipper cards he never collected, or the girl he never got around to kissing.
Happy Birthday to me.
AN: I actually really like Fanny. :) Sorry the last try was so depressing. :( But don't worry! There will be ONE MORE CHAPTER. :D SURPRISE! Was she planning this from the beginning? Yes, yes she was. After all, I may have specified 29 tries, but I neglected to mention the one time that was a success. Or was it? You'll have to wait to find out!
(In my mind, age-wise, it goes 'Fanny, Abby, Nigel, Hoagie, Wally, Kuki', but I went against myself here to make it simpler. And more sad?='''''( Again, sorry. And it was long, too, but I wanted to express how I thought everyone would say goodbye and express their relationships with Wally, not just Kuki.)
Reviewers! Let's vote! Which chapter was your all-time favorite (including this one)?
Tickle that toast.
