Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter and everything recognisable belongs to J K Rowling.
Thanks to all those who reviewed. Since no one objected to long chapters, I've given you an extra, extra long chapter! (25 pages) Hope you like it. Enjoy!!
Warning! This chapter contains a scene which some may find disturbing and creepy! Consider yourselves warned!
Chapter Twenty Nine
"What?"
Harry stared at Damien in stunned surprise. He had not expected that. Damien managed to calm down enough to tell Harry what had happened.
"Malfoy wanted to talk to me. I met him beside the Great Lake and we started arguing. I recognised the ring he was wearing and thought that he had stolen it from you. I tried to get it back from him and, I don't know how but somehow, we both got thrown into your pensive."
The look of anger on Harry's face intensified but Damien pushed on.
"It was an accident, Harry. We never meant to go into your pensive. Malfoy tried to get out but whatever spell had thrown us inside was blocking us. We couldn't get out until the effects wore off. We were just waiting, me and Malfoy, and I don't know how, but suddenly we were transported into your…your memories." Damien trailed off, a look of pain flashed on his face as he remembered what he had seen of Harry's past.
"Which ones did you see?" Harry asked, his voice quiet and full of anger.
"The first few were of you and…and Voldemort." Damien replied quietly. "But then memories of…of you and…and…" Damien couldn't finish. Fresh tears sprung into his eyes and he looked away from Harry to brush them away.
It was clear which memories he had seen by his tearful reaction. The sight of Damien in such despair made Harry calm down almost instantly.
"It's okay." Harry said in a strained voice. "You don't have to tell me. I understand what you must have seen."
Damien looked up at Harry, his hazel eyes were now bloodshot because of all the crying. He didn't know what to say. They sat in awkward silence until Damien gathered the courage to speak.
"I don't know how it happened. Malfoy said all your memories were locked. I don't know how we managed to see them. I swear, Harry, we never meant to see them, they just, sort of, appeared."
Harry finally looked up and met his gaze. He knew Damien was telling the truth. He had locked all his memories before giving the ring to Draco. They couldn't have unlocked them, even if they wanted to. Harry's emerald eyes darted to the silver pendant around Damien's neck. Damien noticed the look and reached for his Layhoo Jisteen, pulling it out from under his robes. He watched the thick green mist swirl around inside the black stone. He looked at Harry questioningly. With a sigh, Harry began to explain.
"When I gave you the Layhoo Jisteen, I had to make sure that no one could reverse the protection and binding spells I had cast on it. In order to do that, I had to use some of my blood." At the shocked look from Damien, he quickly added, "it was only a drop, nothing drastic. I guess the pensive recognised my blood and thought I was the one inside it. You must of thought of or spoke certain trigger words which caused the memories to reveal themselves."
Damien thought about it. It did make sense. Just before the first memory, he had been thinking about being somewhere safe and comfortable, like his home. That was what had triggered the memory of Harry in Riddle Manor. Damien realised that for Harry, Riddle Manor was still his home. The realisation made Damien's eyes burn again, but he pushed himself not to break down. Instead he thought about the other memories. He had wondered what unpleasant memories Harry had stored and all the memories of his horrid abuse were revealed.
Damien felt shame wash over him. Why did he have to think about Harry's abuse? Why did he wonder what other memories were held inside the pensive? If he hadn't, then he wouldn't have seen all those horrid things. He dropped his head into his hands and started crying again as the image of Harry's bloodied back resurfaced. The deep bruises and welts littered the three year olds skin and the way Harry had cried when he was alone, Damien would never be able to forget that.
Harry placed a hand on Damien's back making the boy calm down and swallow back his tears. He looked at Harry and felt his heart skip a beat as he saw Harry looking at him with no anger or frustration.
"I'm so sorry, Harry! I'm so sorry." He said in a hoarse voice.
"It wasn't your fault. You didn't mean to see them." Harry answered, a little sternly.
Damien shook his head.
"I'm sorry about what happened to you."
Harry's expression changed and Damien could see the familiar mask taking over him.
"It's fine."
"No, it not fine! How can you say that?"
"It's all in the past. There's nothing I can do to change it." Harry said heavily.
"I know, but Harry how can you say it's fine?" Damien asked.
"What else am I supposed to say?" Harry asked, and for the first time Damien saw the helplessness in Harry's eyes. "I can't talk about it because there's nothing to talk about. If I mention it the only thing that will happen is mum and dad will feel guilty which is stupid because they didn't do anything. The best thing to do is just to ignore what happened and not think about it."
"Can you ignore it?" Damien asked, keeping his eyes fixed on his brother.
Harry didn't say anything. Damien moved closer, kneeling in front of Harry.
"Harry, I only saw two memories and it affected me so much that I can't even look at dad. I know that the person hurting you wasn't dad but it still made me upset enough to not want him anywhere near me. I don't understand how you do it. How do you spend everyday with him and mum and not let the past haunt you? How can you deal with all this alone?"
"I don't have a choice. If I don't deal with it then I'll lose everyone, you, mum and dad. I've already lost one family, I don't think I can survive losing another." The words came out before Harry could stop himself.
Damien felt his chest squeeze painfully at Harry's words. He had never heard Harry talk about them like that.
"You'll never lose us, Harry. Never again." He promised quietly.
After a few minutes of silence, Damien spoke, asking the question he wanted to ask for so long.
"Is that what you have nightmares about? Do you see your past? I mean do you see dad and…the…the abuse…is that what you see when you sleep?" he asked awkwardly.
Harry was quiet for long minutes. Damien thought Harry wasn't going to answer until he spoke in a quiet voice.
"Sometimes, I used to dream about it a lot when I was growing up. That's actually why I got the Pensive. It was used to store all those memories."
"Did it work?" Damien asked.
"At first yeah. The Pensive takes the actual memory and although an imprint of the memory is still with you, it doesn't come to the forefront of your mind. That way it doesn't bother you. I still remember everything but I don't have to live through it. But when I got captured and brought to Hogwarts, I had to deal with mum and dad everyday. I started getting nightmares again."
"How? The memories were still inside the Pensive. So why did you get affected?" Damien asked.
"Probably because I saw too much that reminded me of my past. It all got too much and the memories I had, in a sense repressed, resurfaced again." Harry explained.
Damien thought about that and suddenly everything that had happened last year came back to him and he understood Harry's actions perfectly.
"Is that why we moved out of Godric's Hollow?" he asked after a few minutes.
Harry looked uncomfortably at him before answering.
"Yeah, but I didn't say anything. It was mum and dad's decision."
"I wouldn't blame you if you had said something." Damien answered. He remembered how Harry had refused to go anywhere near the kitchen and the attic. He understood now why. "Do you still get nightmares? I mean of dad." He asked, fearing the answer.
"I've had a few." Harry admitted. He wasn't fully aware of how much he was confining in Damien. It felt right to tell him since he had seen what Harry had to live through. "When I had that fight with dad, a few days before Fudge's visit, I had gone to Remus' and I must have fallen asleep. I dreamt about dad, hurting me then."
Harry told Damien about the dream. He told him every single detail, right down to how James' eyes changed to red and what he had said to him. Damien listened to the horrifying nightmare. Something about the dream didn't make sense though.
"Why did he say 'Well done' to you?" he asked.
Harry shrugged his shoulders. He didn't particularly want to discuss it.
"I don't know."
Damien thought about it, going over the dream in his mind. Why would Voldemort say that to Harry?
"He said that to you right after you realised that you were dreaming?" he asked. Harry nodded. "Something about that doesn't make sense. Why would he say that to you? Unless…" Damien looked at Harry closely.
"Don't think about it so much, Damy. It was only a dream." Harry said.
"No, Harry. I think there's much more to this dream. You had this dream right after you fought with dad because you thought he wanted to control you. The nightmare you had was of dad, only he was the way you remembered him as a kid. You were afraid he was going to hurt you but then you remembered that dad would never intentionally hurt you. You remembered that he wasn't like Voldemort. You said that as soon as you figured out that you were dreaming you were able to move around again. Dad's eyes changed to red, letting you know that it really was Voldemort. And then he said 'Well done' to you. Maybe he wanted you to know that dad wasn't like how you remembered him. He would never hurt you and that dad would never control you like he did. When you figured out that the person in front of you wasn't dad he congratulated you."
Harry stopped Damien by holding up his hand.
"That would make sense but you're forgetting one thing." he said.
"What?"
"Voldemort hated me. He wouldn't show me anything other than what can hurt me."
Damien looked closely at Harry. This was the first time Harry had talked so openly about Voldemort. But he could see that saying those words out loud was still difficult for him. And now, after seeing how Harry grew up with Voldemort, Damien could understand why.
"He didn't always hate you. From what I saw…"
"Whatever you saw was nothing more that deceit. Voldemort acted like he loved me just so that I would remain at his side. He never cared for me."
Harry's voice quietened to just above a whisper. Damien could feel his heart break. He finally understood the reason Harry was still so torn up about everything. It was because Harry believed Voldemort never cared for him. Everything was an act. It must hurt so much to know someone you loved never loved you back. But Damien felt differently.
"I don't think Voldemort was such a good actor." Damien said quietly.
Harry looked up at him.
"What?"
"All the memories I saw, it may have been an act but somehow I doubt it. He cared for you, Harry. I could tell. The way he looked at you, the way he spoke to you, it was different. He didn't even look like the Dark Lord that everyone had come to fear. He actually looked like, well, a real dad."
Harry shook his head, ready to argue but Damien stopped him.
"Please, Harry, let me finish. That day I went to Riddle Manor with Malfoy and Professor Snape, when I saw you, you were in a really bad shape. I remember looking at Voldemort and I'll never forget the expression on his face. He looked really angry, not at you but for you. He looked at the two Death Eaters and I swear I thought he was going to kill them on the spot. It was clear that he was hurt by your condition. He still couldn't stand to see you getting hurt." This had always bothered Damien but until today he didn't fully understand it. But now it was clear why Voldemort had looked so upset. He had still cared for Harry, just like Harry, despite everything, still cared for Voldemort.
Harry however, didn't look convinced.
"Damien, the person you saw hurting me when I was only two or three years old wasn't just a random Death Eater. It was Voldemort. He hurt me when I was only a kid. I was defenceless and at his mercy and he hurt me repeatedly. When I was older he pretended to care about my nightmares and got me the Pensive so I could store away memories of my abuse. It must have been amusing for him, cause the pain and then supply the means of comfort as well." Harry scoffed but there was a look of intense pain in his eyes.
Damien didn't know what to say. He examined the floor in front of him, not wanting to meet Harry's eye. Surely all that he had seen today couldn't have been an act? The way Voldemort had looked at Harry, the care in his voice it all couldn't be fake. But Damien knew that Harry wasn't ready to talk about it. It was too painful and Damien wasn't going to cause his brother any type of pain. He had been through too much already in his short life.
xxx
Harry was busy trying to stay awake when the doors opened and the next set of Aurors came into the Great Hall. Damien, who was sitting with him for Breakfast this morning, let out an excited yelp at the sight of the Aurors. Harry turned sleepily and saw Remus and Moody standing amongst the other Aurors. Remus was smiling at him and Damien. Harry smiled back and turned back to his plate. So Remus and Moody were with the next group of Aurors who came for the Duelling club. That would be interesting. Harry would have liked to go and see them in training but was stopped from going by his inability to keep his mouth shut. He would get annoyed at the Aurors abysmal teaching methods and material and was asked, not too kindly, to leave. It was better this way, he told himself. He didn't want to go to the Duelling club anyway. The exams were starting this week, he had plenty to keep him busy.
Harry got up to leave and caught sight of Draco. The Slytherin looked at him but quickly diverted his gaze. Harry had yet to talk to him about the Pensive incident. Harry had talked to Damien for hours that day. He had managed to calm him down enough so he didn't freak out when James came back into the room. Harry explained what had happened and regretted it almost instantly as he saw the look of hurt and guilt on James' face.
James had talked to Damien as well and it took Lily's intervention before the two were somewhat normal again. Harry could still detect a bit of resistance from Damien though. Harry had caught him looking at James in a funny way and then shaking his head, as if clearing it. Harry knew it would take time for him to forget the image of his dad hurting him when he was a child.
Harry continued walking out of the hall. He was still staring at Draco as he left the hall and ran head first into someone.
"Oh, sorry!"
Harry stopped talking abruptly as he saw who it was that he had bumped into. Ginny stood clutching her book bag, looking him straight in the eyes. It had been nearly two months since he had seen her up close. Ginny looked intently at Harry as well. Both stood in tense silence. Ginny opened her mouth to speak and Harry chose that moment to walk past her. Ginny watched as Harry hurried out of sight.
Harry was so engrossed in getting away from Ginny that he didn't realise he was going the wrong way. His charms classroom was in the other direction. He stopped when he realised. There was no way Harry was going to go back though. He didn't want to run into Ginny again. He felt the uncomfortable churn in his stomach at the thought of Ginny. He forced himself not to think about her and more specifically how he felt about her. It would fade. His feelings of love for her would surely fade with time. He hoped anyway.
Harry realised that he was standing in a corridor that he had no recollection of. He had never been here before. He stood, feeling like an idiot, staring at the portraits. He turned to retrace his steps when a familiar voice stopped him.
"Wotcher, Harry!"
Harry turned back and saw the purple haired Tonks standing before him. Harry smiled at her. The sight of Tonks always made him smile.
"Tonks, fancy catching you here." He said.
"Actually Harry, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in class?"
Harry smirked at her.
"I should be in class but where should you be right now?"
Tonks blushed a little before answering.
"Well, I'm on leave just now. I thought I would have some time alone with Remus but then he had to cover for Jenkins and ended up coming here for the Duelling club. So I decided to come along as well. It was either this or sit all alone in his flat."
Harry looked surprised at that.
"You and Remus? I didn't realise you both were dating."
Tonks blushed, making her hair turn from purple to red as well. Harry chuckled quietly at the sight.
"Yeah, well, we didn't really tell anyone at first. I knew some were going to be all judgmental because of the age gap and, well, you know the whole 'furry problem' of his. But now, we decided to stop worrying so much about everyone else. The only thing that matters is how we feel about each other." She finished with a smile.
"Well, that's cool." Harry said, not really sure of what else to say.
"I'm glad you approve." Tonks smiled back cheekily.
"So what were you doing here? This is the living quarters for the Aurors that come for the Duelling club." Tonks asked.
"I got lost." Harry answered.
"Well, since you're here and you've missed the beginning of your class anyway, do you want to hang out? I'm bored." She asked with a sincere look.
Harry laughed.
"Yeah, okay. It's not like I'm learning anything new anyway."
Both Harry and Tonks took of towards the main door. It was a warm day and fresh air was just what both needed.
xxx
Ginny walked into the Great Hall just to be escorted back out again. Professor McGonagall was leading out Ron as well.
"What's going on?" she asked.
"Your mother is here and wishes to speak to you both before classes start. Please get to your class on time." Professor McGonagall warned.
Ron shared a panicked look with Ginny. Their mum was here, that was not a good thing. Sure enough when they walked into the small room, serving as a single living quarter, they saw a formidable looking Mrs Weasley standing in the middle of the room. At once, Mrs Weasley started yelling and shouting at both Ron and Ginny.
"I am so ashamed of you two! How could you keep the fact that someone was trying to drug Harry to yourself!? How could you be so careless?! To keep such a thing from the Professors! I hope you realise that you could have caused irrevocable damage! Harry's life was at stake and you two gambled with his safety! I am so ashamed! How am I supposed to face the Potters? What am I supposed to say to them?!"
Ginny and Ron kept quiet and took the verbal abuse. They deserved it, they knew that. They should have been prepared for this. Their mum had said she would pay them a visit in her howler. Just as Mrs Weasley finished listening to Ron's version of the events, the door opened and Charlie walked inside.
"Charlie? What are you doing here?" Ron asked, surprised to see his brother.
"I'm here as a favour for Professor Dumbledore. I'm helping with a lecture on Dragons in the Care of Magical Creatures class before they exams start."
Ron quickly escaped from his mum by leaving with Charlie, saying he needed to talk to him in private.
Ginny stayed with her mum. As soon as her two brothers left she broke down in tears and told her mum about what happened between her and Harry. Mrs Weasley was awfully upset with her daughter but the sight of her crying made her melt and she took her only daughter into her arms, letting her cry. She said comforting things to her to calm her down.
Ginny cried until her throat hurt. She sat, huddled up next to her mum, letting her tears fall down her cheeks.
"Has Harry spoken to you again since then?" Mrs Weasley asked.
"No, he ignores me." She replied.
"Ginny, you did an awful thing to him. You betrayed his trust. I don't blame Harry at all. If there is no trust in a relationship then there is no point in that relationship. It won't last. You have to stand back and let Harry come to terms with this. The poor dear has already dealt with enough deception in his life. You didn't need to add to it."
At seeing Ginny's despaired look, she quickly softened.
"Oh, Ginny, have faith. If it's meant to be, Harry will come back to you. If not, then that's something you will have to come to terms with."
Ginny was still looking quite red eyed by the time Charlie and Ron came back inside. Charlie took one look at Ginny and was at her side instantly.
"I think you've done enough, mum. You can stop scolding her now. She's in tears!"
Mrs Weasley directed a glare at her son.
"I haven't made her cry." She protested. Charlie turned to Ginny and sat down next to her, making Mrs Weasley get up, to give them room.
"Are you okay?" he asked his younger sister.
"Yes, I'm fine, Charlie." Ginny said, wiping her face quickly.
"You don't look fine. Your face is all red and puffy." Charlie said.
"Charlie!" Ginny exclaimed.
"Well, not bad puffy…I mean…you look great." He said awkwardly. Ginny looked away and gathered her book bag so she could leave. "Ginny, wait! What's wrong, you've never looked this, well puffy, before." Charlie asked.
"It's nothing." She replied curtly.
"It's got something to do with Potter, hasn't it?" Charlie asked, his tone turning harder.
"Leave Harry out of this, Charlie!" Ginny warned.
"He's done something. I can tell. You're upset because of him. Tell me what happened?" he demanded.
"He's not done anything to me." Ginny yelled.
Ron and Mrs Weasley watched the exchange uncomfortably.
"Ginny, what's wrong? I can tell you're really upset. What happened?" Charlie asked, his concern evident in his tone.
"Harry broke up with me." Ginny replied after a few moments of silence.
Charlie looked stunned. It was clear he was not expecting that.
"Oh, um…I'm sorry to hear that." He said slowly.
"Yeah right!" Ginny said sending him a scornful look.
"No really, I am sorry. I never liked him and I don't think I ever will but I never wanted you to be upset. You're my sister and I want you to be happy. I could tell he would hurt you and that's why I wanted you to stay away from him." He explained.
"Well he didn't hurt me. I hurt him! I broke his trust so if anyone is to blame for the break up, it's me, Charlie!" with that Ginny stormed out, leaving a bewildered looking Charlie behind.
xxx
Harry walked into his quarter to see James pacing the room.
"There you are! Where have you been? I've been looking all over for you!" James said, walking hurriedly up to him.
Harry saw at once that James was really excited about something. Mentally steadying himself, Harry walked further into the room.
"I met Tonks and decided to hang out with her. Classes are only running revision lectures anyway." Harry shrugged.
"I don't really care about you cutting class right now! I'll pretend to not have heard you. Come and sit, I have some great news!" James said, leading Harry further into the room and towards the sofa.
Harry sat down and looked at his dad's excited face.
"Shouldn't you be teaching right now?" he asked.
"I don't have any classes until after lunch." James said as he sat down opposite Harry.
"What's going on, dad? You're starting to freak me out." Harry asked, noticing the wide smile James was wearing.
"I wanted to mention this to you before but I never got the chance. I've been doing some research. I remember reading about this spell that could allow sleep for a few hours. It's usually used for wizards who suffer insomnia. It can work for up to four hours at one time. The only problem is that it makes the person fall in a very deep sleep and once the spell is cast it can't be broken. Only once the four hours are up does the person wake back up."
"How long have you been researching this?" Harry asked.
"About three months now, I wanted to make sure that it didn't have any side effects and that it wouldn't complicate matters because of your health. I just got back a letter from Professor Harrison, the creator of the spell. He confirmed that the spell was safe to use for someone who has a sleeping potion addiction. He also confirmed that if the spell is cast on a relaxed and calm mind it will result in dreamless sleep." James beamed at Harry. He felt his smile slip of his face as Harry continued to look at him with surprise. He had thought Harry would be leaping for joy at the prospect of sleeping properly again.
"What's the matter Harry? Aren't you happy?" James asked.
"No, it's not that. I'm just…I never knew you were researching something to help me. I'm just, surprised I guess."
"Why?" James asked confused.
"I didn't know you would be this affected by me having sleepless nights." Harry admitted.
James stared hard at Harry.
"Harry, do you think that seeing you in pain and discomfort doesn't bother me? Doesn't bother your mum? Do you really think we don't care about you?"
"No, it's not that. I just…" Harry trailed off. He didn't know how to explain it. "I didn't know you had noticed my restless sleep. I know you care, I really do. But I never expected you to spend three months researching a way to help me. I guess I'm still not used to having you and mum look out for me." He tried to explain.
James' face showed how affected he was by Harry's words. His expression showed his hurt that Harry still didn't recognise how much he cared for him.
"We do care for you, we always will, whether you get used to it or not. Harry, I realised that the past few months have been rough and I've said a lot of stupid things to you. I hate how horridly I acted when I found out about your addiction. I said a lot of things to you that I deeply regret."
"And yet you still haven't apologised." Harry added with an accusatory look.
James stilled and then realised that he hadn't apologised and he should have.
"You're right. I really am sorry about everything I said to you." James said sincerely.
"It's alright. You don't have to apologise." Harry replied serenely.
At James' bemused look, Harry started to laugh. James found a smile fight its way onto his face at the sound of Harry laughing. He realised that it had been a while since he heard his son's laugh.
"Well, getting back to the topic of the sleeping spell. I know you're not that good at Occulmency but this should be a lot easier. If you manage to clear your mind and settle your emotions before I cast the spell every night, you should have a perfect, nightmare free sleep." James explained with a smile.
"I'll try but I really hate Occulmency. If this mind calming thing is anything like Occulmency that I don't think I'll be able to do it." Harry replied.
"You can learn everything else then why can't you learn Occulmency? If you want I can ask Dumbledore to help…" James stopped talking at the sharp look from Harry. With a sigh, James continued, "he's not your enemy, Harry. He wants to help."
Harry only shook his head. James could see the hate in Harry's eyes. He didn't understand why Harry hated Dumbledore so much, especially after everything that happened last year. Dumbledore was the reason Harry was sitting here and not in a cell in Azkaban. He didn't say that to Harry though. It wasn't the way to convince him.
"You won't have to learn Occulmency but you have to learn to clear your mind and have it in a state of calmness otherwise you will be stuck for four hours in your nightmares." James didn't expect to see the colour drain from Harry's face at those words. He suddenly felt very guilty for saying that. "Sorry, I never meant…what I wanted to say was that it's important to clear your mind otherwise the sleeping spell would make you fall into a deep sleep but it won't stop any nightmares."
Harry nodded his head stiffly and diverted his gaze. James could have kicked himself. He had just messed up again.
"When are you going to cast the spell?" Harry asked after a few moments of tense silence.
"Whenever you're ready. I thought you could practise clearing your mind first and when you're comfortable we could try the spell." James answered.
Harry seemed to be thinking about it.
"And you're sure it would give me four hours?" Harry asked. James nodded his head. "That sounds almost too good to be true. Four hours sleep a night would be brilliant." Harry said with a smile.
If James didn't know better he would have thought Harry was being sarcastic. His heart almost broke at the sight of Harry getting excited for only four hours sleep. Doing his best to steady his voice, James spoke.
"I was planning on casting the spell twice a night. That would give you a proper night's sleep."
Harry looked up at James, the look of surprise in his eyes again.
"You don't have to disrupt your sleep for me. Four hours is more than enough." He said quickly but James shook his head.
"You don't get to decide that. I cast the spell so I get to decide how many times I will cast it." He said standing up. He walked to his desk to pick up the book detailing the spell, so he could show Harry. He turned around to face him, a smile on his face and added, "And besides, I missed out on the disrupted nights getting up to attend to you when you were a baby. I guess it's time to make up for it."
xxx
The practise for calming your mind didn't go as planned for Harry. He was frustrated with everything happening at once. He was sitting his exams in two days time and he had not had a wink of sleep. He couldn't rest at all. Every time he closed his eyes he would see Voldemort. In Harry's opinion, the practise to calm your mind was just the same as Occulmency. He was trying his best to practise it but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't clear his mind.
"Harry, please let Dumbledore help you." James pleaded with him.
"No! I'm not having him anywhere near me. Never mind my mind." Harry snapped.
"He can help you, I know he can. He's brilliant at Legimens and Occulmency. At least talk to him about it. He might give you a push in the right direction." James argued.
"Leave me alone, dad. I'm trying to study." Harry said, holding up his transfiguration textbook.
James turned dejectedly back to his papers which were strewn all over his desk. He desperately wanted to help Harry. But it wasn't as if he could talk to Dumbledore himself, could he? Just as that thought came to him, he saw Lily walk into the room. She shared a quick hello with Harry before walking to the small bedroom. She gestured to James to follow her. Once inside, she turned to him, a serious look on her face.
"Any progress?" she asked. James shook his head.
"No, he can't grasp onto this mind calming thing at all. I think this is the first time I've seen him fail at anything. Lily, he's awful at it." James said.
Lily bit her lip in worry.
"What should we do?" she asked.
"I don't know. Other than Dumbledore, I don't know anyone who could help." James replied.
"I can't see Harry listening to Dumbledore. We have to figure out another way." Lily said.
Both parents spent the next two days trying to figure out how to help Harry relax and calm his mind. In all honesty it was very similar to Occulmency and that was a difficult thing to learn so they didn't blame Harry for failing so miserably at it. It was the morning of Harry's first exam, Transfiguration, that the solution made itself known.
Sirius and Tonks walked into James' quarter. There was only James and Lily in the room as Harry had already left for Breakfast.
"Hey Prongs, Lily, how are you this fine morning." Sirius asked as he walked in.
"Sirius? What are you doing here?" James asked, surprised to see his best friend.
"I came to see how you are. Things have been awfully quiet and I figured no one would miss me if I came over to check on you guys." The dark haired man replied as he sat down on the sofa.
"Tell them the truth, you mutt." Tonks teased as she sat down next to her cousin.
"What truth? What's going on?" Lily asked, intrigued by the smile Tonks was wearing.
"Padfoot? What's going on?" James asked as he sat down next to him.
"Oh, alright. I came because, well, I've just been promoted." He said, barely able to keep his grin concealed.
"Oh wow, Sirius, I'm so happy for you." Lily said, immediately engulfing him in a hug. James was grinning like mad as well at the news.
"The best news I've heard in a while, mate. I'm proud of you." He said, shaking his hand and giving him a thump in the back.
"That's not the best part. Go one, tell them the good bit." Tonks prompted.
Sirius threw her a pretend glare but it disappeared as he turned to face James and Lily.
"Well, the first job that I've been given is to-" he coughed and spoke in an official voice, sounding suspiciously like Percy Weasley, "carry out an official assessment of the success of the Duelling Club project at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry."
"You're an Inquisitor!" James asked, almost choking on the word.
"Yes, he is!" Tonks laughed, enjoying every moment of this.
Sirius grinned and gave James a mock apologetic look.
"They made you an Inquisitor! Are they mad?" Lily asked, amazed at the Ministry.
"No, they're not mad, they're the Ministry." James laughed.
"Seriously though, why would they give you a job like that? They know you're not mature enough to do that job!" Lily asked.
"Gee, thanks for your vote of confidence in me. I'll remember that." Sirius said to Lily. He turned to James and grinned, reminding Lily of all the times he and James were about to pull a prank. "Guess who I get to examine first. Mad-eye Moody!"
Both men started laughing making Lily roll her eyes at them. Tonks was laughing at her expression. When they calmed down, all four headed for breakfast. As soon as they entered the Great Hall, they saw Harry leaving with the rest of the seventh years. They had the practical exam this morning, in their usual Transfiguration classroom.
"Is Harry okay? He looks really worn out." Sirius asked with concern as he saw his Godson leave the hall.
In a quiet voice James told him and Tonks what had happened.
"…and now that we've figured out that the sleeping spell will help him, his lack of Occulmency skills is stopping us from using it." James finished.
"He won't accept help from Dumbledore?" Sirius asked.
"No, I thought he would get over his hatred but Harry seems to have grown even more contempt for him. He is in desperate need to rest and sleep but he still won't let Dumbledore help him. I'm at a loss as to what to do." James finished.
"I can help him." Tonks offered.
"No offence, Tonks, but I don't think he'll listen to you either." Lily replied.
"No, I meant that I could help Harry with his Occulmency problem." Tonks explained.
All three turned to look at her.
"You know Occulmency?" Sirius asked stunned at the new information.
"Yeah, all Metamorphmagus' have a natural grasp of Occulmency. It's because we can disguise our physical appearance so easily, we don't have a problem with disguising our emotions and blocking everything out. We have to have a calm and clear mind every time we change our appearance. Only once our minds are clear can we imagine how we want to look and then we can morph into that appearance." Tonks explained.
James gaped at her as if she were a gift from God.
"Do you think you could help Harry?" Lily asked hopefully.
"I can't see why not. It's worth a try, right?" Tonks asked.
"Definitely!" James answered enthusiastically. Things were finally looking up.
xxx
The first few attempts didn't go very well. Harry was finding it hard to relax when the room was full of people. James, Sirius, Remus and Tonks were all trying to offer him advice. At last Harry blew up at them.
"That's it! Everyone get out!" he yelled frustrated.
"We're only trying to help." Sirius offered.
"You're all driving me mad! I don't need any help from you lot. Get out!" he yelled again.
At that point Lily walked into the room to hear Harry yelling at the others.
"Well I'm not surprised! How on earth is Harry supposed to relax and calm his mind when there are so many people in here?" she turned to Remus and Sirius. "You two can leave and join me in my quarter. James and Tonks need to assist Harry."
She marched the two Aurors out of the room, making Harry sigh with relief. She gave him an encouraging smile before leaving as well. The door clicked shut and silence rang in the room.
"Ah finally. Peace and quiet." Harry sighed, sitting back on the sofa.
Tonks and James started working with Harry right away. Tonks told Harry all the ways she performed Occulmency. The good thing was that Harry didn't need to actually perform Occulmency. All he needed to do was reach the stage where his mind was calm and settled and where his emotions were under control. He didn't need to bring up mind shields and hold them there since no one was going to penetrate his mind.
"Okay, Harry. Do what I told you and you should be calmer." Tonks said.
"How is counting backwards going to make me calmer?" Harry asked sceptically.
"Just try it, Harry." James said wearily.
Harry gave both a funny look before closing his eyes and counting back from ten, trying to close his mind and relax.
"Do you feel better?" James asked after a few minutes.
"No." Harry answered dryly.
"You're not even trying. You have to relax and unwind." Tonks said.
"I'm trying." Harry told her, immensely annoyed. "I can't relax with you in the room!" he said to Tonks.
"What? Why?" Tonks asked.
"Because I can't relax with people I don't know in the same room." Harry replied.
"But you do know me." Tonks replied, a little hurt.
"No offence, Tonks but I don't really know you that well to feel completely comfortable with you." Harry confessed.
Tonks was looking quite surprised. She had evidently thought she was a lot closer to Harry.
"Tonks, Thanks for all you help but can I ask you to go as well." James said quietly.
Tonks looked at him and Harry, an expression of hurt on her face but left without saying anything. James locked the door before turning to Harry.
"Now it's just me with you. Try now." He prompted.
Harry closed his eyes and tried to let his mind relax.
"Imagine yourself at home. Try to imagine that you are in your room, alone. Everything is quiet and still. Try to imagine yourself there." James said in a soft voice.
"Is Damien there?" Harry asked with his eyes closed.
"Yeah, probably." James answered, distractedly.
"Then how can everything be quiet?" Harry asked, opening his eyes and throwing his dad a smirk.
"Try and take this seriously, Harry." James reprimanded.
Harry closed his eyes again and tried to imagine himself in his room, back in Potter Manor. He could actually see his room in his minds eye. James continued speaking in a soft voice, prompting him to imagine seeing and feeling different things. Harry didn't know at what point he started to calm down. His mind started to calm and unwind. One by one, James started asking Harry to take away the things in his room so that he was left with just an empty dark room. James knew it sounded cruel, but it was necessary for the mind to be blank so the spell could be cast.
"Now imagine that there is nothing around you. Nothing at all. All you see around you is darkness and it's comforting." James said, watching Harry closely.
He could tell it was working, Harry had relaxed fully. James knew that the spell needed to be cast now so the state of calmness would be prolonged for the duration of the spell. He softly spoke the incantation and watched as Harry's breathing evened out almost instantly. James remained at Harry's side, just watching the rare sight of Harry sleeping peacefully.
xxx
Things got a lot better after that. The spell worked miracles for Harry. He started feeling a lot better. His dad kept his promise and would perform the spell twice in the night to allow eight hours sleep for Harry. It meant that James had to get up after four hours sleep himself to cast the spell, but even Harry's protests didn't stop him. He knew how much sleep Harry had missed out on. He needed to catch up. Harry wished he could cast the spell himself. Unfortunately that wasn't possible. He would probably only get halfway through the incantation and then fall asleep.
Harry felt the exams go by a lot easier now that he was sleeping well. He felt rejuvenated, happier and a lot more patient. Whether the last was a good thing or not, he didn't know. He saw Charlie Weasley around Hogwarts and was surprised to find him still throwing glares his way.
"What's his problem now?" he asked Damien. He had thought Charlie would just ignore him now that he wasn't with Ginny anymore.
"No idea." His brother replied.
Other than the issue with Ginny, Harry was feeling that things were finally starting to come together. It was amazing what a night's sleep could do to him. Harry felt a lot closer to James since the sleeping spell. He still couldn't believe James went through all that trouble just so he could sleep peacefully at night. James secretly felt his heart expand with joy that Harry managed to relax in his company. He knew it took a lot for Harry to trust someone and finally he was showing some trust in him and Lily.
It wasn't until the night before his last exam that everything fell apart.
As soon as Harry awoke in the middle of the night he knew something was wrong. It wasn't the fact that he woke up, that wasn't all that unusual. He always woke up after four hours of sleep, when the spell wore off. Any minute now James would come to cast the spell again.
But tonight, as soon as his eyes opened he could feel something was dreadfully wrong. He could feel it in his bones. He blinked in the darkness, trying to figure out why his heart was thumping so loudly in his chest. But as far as he could see, everything was in its place. Harry tried to calm down. Everything was fine.
He pushed himself to sit up in his bed. His dad would be coming any time now. It was just as Harry had pushed himself to sit up that he felt it, a thick sticky substance sticking his hand to the bed sheets. Harry brought his left hand up to his face, trying to peer through the darkness to decipher what his hand was covered in. It didn't take more than a few seconds for Harry to realise what it was. His hand was covered in warm, sticky blood.
Harry's breath caught in his throat as he recognised the substance. Was his hand bleeding? How did that happen? A shiver ran through him as he felt the entire left side of his pyjamas top stick to him. Harry could feel his heart hammer at his insides as he realised his entire left side, starting from his shoulder down to his foot was covered in blood. He couldn't feel any pain at all so knew that the blood wasn't his. He panicked and flicked on the lights wandlessly.
The first thing he saw was that he was indeed covered in blood. It wasn't just a little smudge on his clothes. His clothes were completely soaked through. Harry looked at the left side of his bed and felt his stomach turn violently as there was something under the covers with him. His hand shook but he quickly reached out and pulled off the cover.
The sight made all the breath leave him. Harry stared in horror at the bloodied mess in his bed. Lying in a growing pool of blood was the severed body of Nagini. The large serpent's enormous body was cut up in two halves and piled onto Harry's bed. The lidless eyes were staring right at Harry, the pain of death still lingering in the dull orbs. Nagini's mouth was open wide, its deadly fangs exposed, making it look like the serpent was caught in a silent scream.
Instinct made Harry push himself as far away from the dead body of Nagini as possible. He fell to the floor but kept on pushing himself away. He backed up against a wall and he sat there, unable to tear his eyes away from Nagini's bloodied body.
James sleepily came from his room, rubbing the sleep away from his eyes. He stopped dead at the sight of Harry sitting against the wall, covered in blood. It was enough to drive all the sleep away from James. He saw Harry's horror filled stare and followed it to the bed. His stomach turned at the sight of the mangled body of Nagini, lying in Harry's bed, the blood soaked sheets dripping blood onto the floor. James rushed over to Harry and was kneeling next to him in seconds.
"Harry! Oh God! Are you okay?"
James grabbed onto Harry's shaking shoulders and tried to get him up on his feet, but Harry didn't budge. It seemed Harry was unaware of James even being there. He was in shock, his tear filled eyes were fixed on Nagini.
James pulled out his wand and sent a Patronus, a silver dog remarkably similar to Padfoot leaped from his wand and out of the door and down the corridor, reaching Lily before heading for Dumbledore.
It only took a few moments for both Lily and Dumbledore to reach James. They took in the awful sight of Nagini before attending to Harry. No matter what they said to him, Harry didn't respond. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the dead serpent. It was as if he was completely unaware of the others around him. All he could see was the dead snake covered in blood. Nagini, his father's beloved pet.
xxx
"He should leave immediately." James said in a heavy voice.
"The term is almost over. There are only another two weeks left." Dumbledore argued.
"I don't care. Hogwarts isn't safe anymore, not for Harry." James said bitterly.
"James…" Remus started.
"No Moony! I don't want to hear it. Harry is not safe here! Whoever came last night and planted Nagini's body in Harry's bed could have just as easily slit Harry's throat! I'm not taking another chance. I'm pulling both Harry and Damien out!" James finished.
The group hushed down at that. Dumbledore looked at James and Lily's pale faces. Last night was one that no one would ever forget. Harry was yet to utter a single word. He was currently with Sirius and Tonks, in Remus' quarter, still recovering. Remus, James and Lily were in Dumbledore's office, talking over last night's horrendous event.
"What I want to know is how the body was brought here and by whom?" Remus voiced aloud.
"It's obvious who it was. It can't be anyone other than the Dark Prince! So far he's tried to frame Harry for all his attacks and murders, tried to poison him with sleeping potion, caused Harry's health to suffer immensely, make the Ministry doubt him and when all that didn't work, he came into Hogwarts and planted that, that thing in Harry's bed while he slept!" James answered angrily.
"Why is he targeting Harry?" Lily asked.
"I think it suffices to say that this is a Death Eater trying to avenge his Master's death and downfall. Nagini wasn't just a normal serpent. It must have taken exceptional power or cunning to kill her. Although I would assume that the demise of Voldemort must have weakened her. Voldemort was the source of Nagini's powers." Dumbledore explained.
"But if it is a loyal Death Eater then why did he kill Voldemort's pet? Surely they wouldn't want to hurt something their Master loved." Lily asked.
"Nagini disappeared shortly after Harry returned to Riddle Manor to save Ginny and Nigel. From the reports Severus supplied to me last year, it seems Nagini shared a connection, if you will, with Harry. My guess is that she disagreed with Harry's torture and death sentence so Voldemort sent her away from the Manor. That is why she wasn't there when we ambushed Voldemort. Whoever this Dark Prince is, he probably blames Nagini for abandoning their Master and not being there to help him in the final battle." Dumbledore explained.
James thought over Dumbledore's words. He realised now that Harry's reaction made a lot more sense. It wasn't just the grotesque sight of the mangled body in his bed that had freaked Harry out. It was the fact that the serpent was probably just as much as his pet as it was Voldemort's. To find the bloodied body of your pet in your bed was not something that could be dealt with easily. No wonder Harry was still to utter a word. He was in severe shock. When he left Harry with Sirius this morning, Harry barely registered the fact he was with someone. He still didn't respond to anyone's questions. Poppy had seen him last night and had said that he was in shock and to give him time to come to terms with this.
"Why are we so certain it's a Death Eater? It could be anyone, maybe even someone from the Ministry." Remus suggested.
James shook his head.
"Right now, I don't care who it is. I just want Harry and Damien back at Potter Manor where they'll be safe."
"How can we be certain they will be safe there? Hogwarts is one of the most highly protected places in the wizarding world. If the so called Dark Prince can get in here then how can we be certain he won't be able to get into Potter Manor?" Lily asked, hysteria in her voice.
"She's right, James. We need to find out how this person got into Hogwarts and how he risked planting the body next to Harry."
"I think there's a mole in Hogwarts." James said after a few moments.
"What?" Remus asked in shock.
"It's the only thing that makes sense. Someone in Hogwarts is in league with the Dark Prince. This person was the one who planted the 'Friendship potion' leaflet for Dennis Creevey's attention. This person is probably responsible for supplying the Sedare potion as well. When Harry left Hogwarts and went to Remus' someone alerted the Ministry. That person had to be in Hogwarts at the time to see that Harry was missing. It can't have been a coincidence that the Minister decided to visit at that particular time when Harry was missing. Everyone in Hogwarts knows Harry's sharing my quarters. That's why the snake's body was brought there and not the Gryffindor dormitory. This person had to have known that Harry was sleeping in my quarter and somehow snuck in to plant that hideous thing next to Harry." James paused as something suddenly occurred to him. His hazel eyes widened with shock and he turned to Lily. "Lily, who did you tell about the sleeping spell?" he asked.
"No one. I didn't tell anyone about it." Lily answered, looking confused at the question.
James turned to his friend.
"Remus?"
"I didn't breathe a word of it to anyone." Remus answered.
"I've just realised something. Whoever this mole is, he knew about the sleeping spell cast on Harry! That is why he risked coming into the quarters. He must have been certain that Harry wasn't going to wake up while he was planting the body. He must have known that Harry couldn't awake while under the sleeping spell. It was discovered that there was a Silencio spell cast on the room, presumably so that I didn't hear anything and come to investigate."
"But if we never told anyone about it then how did that information get out? I don't think Harry went around telling anyone." Lily asked.
"I don't…" the rest of James' sentence was drowned out by a deafening ringing sound.
The shrill siren filled the office making Dumbledore and the rest rush to their feet.
"What's going on?" Remus asked, drawing his wand out.
"The alarm has gone off. Someone has cast an Unforgivable inside the castle." Dumbledore told them, looking very pale.
The four of them rushed from the office, Dumbledore leading the way. They rushed down the stairs and saw the majority of students and teachers rushing towards them, joining them. Dumbledore whispered a spell and his wand spun in the direction they had to go. It was presumably where the Unforgivable was cast.
James felt his heart leap with panic as he realised they were rushing towards the living quarters of the Aurors. He saw Remus' face drain of colour as he saw Dumbledore rush towards the direction of his door. They turned the corner and came to a halt. In front of them sat a trembling and pale faced Sirius. His wand was still in his hand and his face was completely drained of colour. He was sitting outside Remus' door. There were shouts heard coming from inside the room. Moody's gruff voice was heard amongst others.
James felt his heart plummet to his stomach. A strong sense of foreboding took a hold of him. He rushed to Sirius and grabbed him by his shaking shoulders.
"Sirius! Sirius, what happened?"
Dumbledore followed by the rest of the staff of Hogwarts, dived into the room but James, Remus and Lily stayed with their friend. They couldn't leave him sitting like that on the floor.
Sirius looked up at James and his eyes were swimming with tears, a fearful look in his orbs.
"James!" he croaked.
"Sirius, what happened? We heard the alarm go off. What happened? Where's Harry?" James asked, not daring to look inside the room and see for himself.
"I tried to stop him, but he…he wouldn't listen." Sirius stuttered.
"Who?" Lily asked.
"Harry. He just went mad. All of a sudden he started shouting at Tonks, blaming her, saying that she was responsible. He said that Tonks knew about the sleeping spell and that she was the only one he didn't trust, that she was with the Dark Prince. Tonks…she…she kept on trying to tell him that he was mistaken but Harry…Harry wouldn't listen. He just went mad. He looked like he was losing his mind. There was nothing I could do. I…I couldn't stop him in time. I was too late." Sirius dropped his face into his hands and started sobbing, making James feel like his heart was about to rip from his chest.
Remus looked at Sirius with fear in his eyes. He stood up from Sirius's side and tore into the room, leaving James and Lily behind.
"Sirius, what happened?" James asked, his voice breaking as a part of him already knew what must have happened.
Sirius looked up at James, "He killed her." He said in a voice that was a just above a whisper.
"Harry killed Tonks!"
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I won't say anything other than, please review and let me know what you think! Cheers!!
