I don't have a posting schedule (I'm not that cool for all that) I am whenever the mood strikes I can sit and type until it is done – depending on what hour it is. I type this at 9:49pm and it is at 8 pages and I am going to bed and will finish it tomorrow.
Dang now 10:14pm 10 pages – okay really going to bed now!
Tomorrow – 7:11am reading it over
FYI people I hope this doesn't disappoint, I feel a great deal of pressure *feel sorry for me* with all the new readers/reviewers/favs/ follows
Chapter 29
Saturday 25th August 2012
Jacob comes into the kitchen and sees Bella in the middle of cooking. He sneaks up on her and grabs her around her middle.
She reacts the only way she knows right now. Stabs him with the spatula and screams. "No!"
Jacob pulls back. "Shit Bella"
Bella pants and looks at her 'attacker'.
"Why did you do that?"
Touching her chest she breathes through the panic that feels like is flooding her body. "I-I'm sorry" She shakes her head. "Don't do that to me"
Edward runs in with wide eyes. "What happened, are you alright?" He stares at his wife. He watches her nod.
"Fine" She glances at Jacob who looks confused at her outburst.
Edward looks at the other man. "Don't touch her"
"Edward" Bella scolds him; she moves and presses her hands on his chest. "It's fine, it's okay" She whispers. "Look at me" She pleads not wanting to make a big deal out of this, not wanting Jacob to think it is a big deal.
He pulls his eyes away from Jacob and they land on his wife. Her face is soft and worried. Edward reaches and touches her cheek lightly. "Are you sure?" He whispers, he watches her shut her eyes for a moment and nods.
"Get the kids down for breakfast for me, please?"
Edward nods, he throws Jacob a look…Monday night can't come soon enough!
Bella is standing in the doorway with Edward; he is heading over to Esme and Carlisle's now. Tomorrow at lunch she doesn't want to have to do it, and Jacob has thrown it all off. Edward will talk to his dad alone, and then they will talk together.
"Are you going to be okay here with him?"
"Edward" She smiles moving to rest her head on his chest. "Don't be silly, it is Jacob we are talking about, he will make sure I'm okay and the kids"
He hates that he knows this. "I know"
"Go so you can be back" She smiles pulling back.
"Can I kiss you?"
"Yes" She smiles and nods her head lightly. "I love you" She whispers as his lips descend on hers.
"I'll see you in a few hours…we can all go out to dinner" Edward pulls a face.
Bella smiles. "It is only until Monday"
"Monday"
She nods and he kisses her forehead before he heads to his car.
Edward and Carlisle are in the office together, papers, pens and scattered on the large wooden desk.
"The main question is do you want to stay in the city?" Carlisle says.
"I don't know, I think right now it is all depending on whether we can afford to stay in the city" He wants to stay in the city with Bella and the kids. They have only known it, not saying they couldn't know Forks too but it is an adjustment and he doesn't want to put that on them if he doesn't have too.
"Esme and I will help you Edward, you are our son, Bella and the kids are our family" He explains.
"Dad I don't want to depend on you"
"It is not forever, only until you get another job"
"Aro was not happy, I didn't tell Bella, but I could tell" Edward stops and shakes his head. "It is not going to be easy"
Carlisle nods. "You knew this, you expected this"
"I did, but living it and knowing it in my head are two different things"
"I imagine it is" Carlisle looks at his son. "Your mother told me that you had a slight meltdown"
"Dad" Edward shakes his head.
"I'm just…maybe you and Bella can go and see a therapist together"
"We may do that" Edward nods. "I just, I, every time I think things are getting better they just get worse" He explains.
"It feels that way sometimes, but they will get better, they will stay better" Carlisle says. "You both are doing the right thing, I admire both if your passion for each other, I admire that you both didn't give up"
Edward hangs his head and rubs his hands over his face, he sighs. "I can never be sorry enough for hurting her like I did, I didn't just have an affair, I broke her"
Carlisle looks at his son. "You need to talk to someone Edward, you can't carry this forever, and you just can't"
"I deserve to" He mutters. If he lives 150 years this is his burden to carry, his alone.
"Edward"
"Let's just try to sort out our options" He clears his throat and changes the subject. He knows what he has said to Bella about letting go and moving on but, he just can't and he doesn't deserve to.
"Okay, school tuition" Carlisle says.
After about 3hours they have two options, both pretty good. Carlisle and Esme have a favorite one, the Swan-Cullen brood staying in the city. But option two is equally as good and works.
Either way there is a time limit. Summer of 2013, when the school year finishes. Carlisle and Esme will take care of this year's fees so that Edward and Bella don't have to dip into their lumpy savings or his inheritance to pay for it while his paycheck is no longer coming in. It was a difference using his inheritance paying for the fees when he was getting a regular paycheck. Now not so much.
He needs a job or it will be option 2. He has to talk to Bella about both before they do anything. But he is happy he got a chance to speak to his father; he is such a good man. Level headed straight thinker and talker. You can't go wrong with Carlisle Cullen.
Bella and Jacob take the kids to the park while Edward is at his parents. She pushes the two little ones on the swings.
"How is work going Bells?"
"Slow…maybe it's me that is slow" She smiles a bit.
"Are you still working from home?"
"Yeah" She nods pulling her hair over her shoulder, he stares at her. "What?" She questions as she leans to push the girls in the joined rocket rider again.
"You're different" He studies.
"What?" Bella frowns.
"You are different" He looks at her puzzled unable to put his finger on it, but there is something different about her.
Bella shakes it off and continues on her afternoon with her children and Jacob.
Edward sits in the living room. He would love to talk to Bella tonight but Jacob is here, maybe they can do it when the kids are in bed, and they are in bed together. The door unlocks he stands and heads through the house to greet his family. A smile graces his face. Bella looks stunning, warm; the summer sun is hitting her. It is making her skin glow.
Bella meets his eyes and smiles.
A scowl crosses his face when he sees Jacob, he likes the man enough but right now he just wants his children and his wife. He is bombarded by his children, their stories and laughter.
Bella watches Edward laugh and talk with the kids in the living room, Jacob excuses himself to take a nap before dinner.
He glances at his wife as she moves through the house towards the kitchen her sanctuary.
He knows he is not worthy of this life. This wonderful life, he destroyed in a night. His mind wanders only for a moment before Paget hits his cheek lightly calling his name softly.
"Where have you been tonight?" She whispers as she climbs in bed next to him.
"Hmm?"
"See you were doing that all night, you're not here" She points out.
"I'm here" He mutters pulling an arm around her and pulling her close, she comes with ease against his body. He loves her.
"You aren't" She whispers staring at him hoping to gain a clue as to where his mind has been.
"I talked to Carlisle"
"Tell me what happened"
"We sorted out two options"
"I want to hear them" She reaches up and strokes his cheek. She is pressed to his chest as they both lie on their sides, his arm around her back/shoulders very relaxed against her.
Edward licks his lips and looks up at the ceiling. "Well we worked out two things, Esme and Carlisle have a particular favorite" He lets out a little laugh.
Bella smiles her head on his chest now, her finger tips run up and down his bare skin. His chest is wonderful she loves how it feels under her finger tips.
"Stay here until next the school year is over and if I have a job continue"
"How about the children's school fees?" Bella questions.
"Carlisle and Esme will carry that burden"
"Edward" She pushes up on his chest. "We can't ask them to do that, we have savings"
"Carlisle doesn't think it is a good idea, and I agree, to dip into that when I don't have a full time job yet"
Bella has both hands on his chest and she looks down at him wanting him to continue, she is not pressing against him hard. She feels his hand at her lower back just above the curve of her ass.
"They like this idea, my dad thinks I will find something…it is a year after all, but if I don't we move back to Forks, and we can stay in their home there, full time, the kids will be in public school, which is perfectly fine"
Bella nods, she agrees. "We will be closer to my dad" She whispers.
"Yeah" He smiles, his other hand lifts and touches her face. "Um and I get a job doing accounting in Port Angeles, I might have better luck with finding something out of the city"
"For a huge pay cut"
"Yes, but we will make due"
"What do you want to do?" Bella questions him.
"No, what do you want to do Bella, tell me?"
"A year seems like a fair time" This economy is bad, but Edward is amazing, but not everyone can jump back into work when they get out of it, it is hard. "If we do move I need to find out if I can still work but do it from Forks"
"Yes you do" He says, him taking a huge pay cut is not ideal but her not even having a job if they move is nothing short of horrid.
"I'm sorry I haven't even spoken to work yet" She lowers her eyes still sitting resting her hands on him.
"It's okay" He smiles his hand now rubbing up and down her back. "We have time"
"I want to move" She says biting her lip before she looks up at him.
"Okay"
"I just hate the thought of pulling the kids out of school, so after the school year ends sounds perfect"
He smiles. "Sounds good" He doubts he will find a job, despite what Carlisle things, but he will look even though she wants to move out of the city.
"But if you find something, do you think we should then stay?" She questions so confused.
Edward stares at her. "Don't over think this, and that sounds crazy because it's our life and our children's lives but" He sighs. "You want to move, we move, the kids will be fine, let them finish the year with my parents help, I will look for a job IF I am lucky enough to find out, we can talk about what we want to do at that point"
Bella nods.
"But as far as right now, we are moving into my parents Fork's home" He loves that place. "Summer of next year"
Bella smiles and nods. "Okay…I love you"
Edward reaches up and cups her cheek. "You know I am so in love with you Bella"
Smiling she shifts to lie back on his chest. She falls asleep to the thumping on his heart in her ear.
Sunday 26th August 2012
Edward is making breakfast for the kids as they all sit around waiting.
"When are we going to see Grandma?" Masen questions his father.
"For lunch" Edward answers flipping a pancake, he frowns, he has never been good at this.
"I want to go now" Paget moans.
"They are not ready for us" Edward says.
Lucy smiles and hums softly before she tickles Ava next to her.
Edward looks over his shoulder and smiles at the two. Heartbreakers indeed.
Bella yawns and pushes up in bed, 7:30 she widens her eyes at the clock not believing she slept in this long and no one bothered her.
Tying her robe she scoots to the bathroom and then heads downstairs. Jacob is in the living room watching TV, she gives him a warm smile.
"Morning Bells" He greets her.
"Morning, where are the kids?"
"Edward has them in the kitchen making breakfast"
Bella looks at his papers. "Work?"
"Yeah going over something's for Monday, I might be doing another gallery opening in a few months for Christmas" He smiles proudly.
"Good for you" She is proud of him branching out with his photography, he is really wonderful.
"Mommy's up!" Paget screams before getting off the stool and running out of the kitchen.
"One down" Edward mutters.
"Mummy?" Ava says. She climbs down slowly and runs out.
"Two down…anyone else?" He looks behind him before turning and setting the full plate of pancakes in front of Lucy and Masen.
Bella scoops up her little girls and smothers them with kisses before she awkwardly carries them to the kitchen. "Morning" She smiles setting them back in their plates at the counter.
Edward smiles at his wife her face full of warm sleep and her hair crazy.
Lucy smiles. "Morning Mommy"
"Hi my girl" Bella kisses her head.
"Hi mom" Masen says chopping down on a pancake.
Edward moves to help Paget and Ava get some breakfast while his eyes stay on Bella as she moves around the kitchen to get some juice and a plate.
"Has Jake eaten?"
"I don't know" Edward says watching her putting two pancakes on her plate. He kisses Ava's nose after cutting her pancake up and giving her some syrup. "Eat up sweetie"
Ava starts with a smile.
Moving towards his wife he takes her plate and rests it on the counter next to her. His hands circle her waist, he pulls her close.
"I wanted that" She pouts.
"How was your sleep?" He questions only loud enough for her ears. His back is to the kids.
She can see her four children eating and chatting a bit to each other, Masen has his nose in a comic book though. Lucy is mothering the two girls; she feeds Ava a bit as well. It is sweet. Bella turns her eyes to her husband. "It was very peaceful"
And he knows that is true, she slept so soundly, a few nights recently she has had a restless sleep, Bella didn't seem to notice, if she did, she didn't comment on it to him but he woke up a few times to her wrestling herself. He is glad she will be seeing Dr. Gerandy each Tuesday as of this week. But last night she was pressed against him warming him in the summer night and she didn't move an inch.
"How about you?" She stares at his mouth.
"With you Bella I always sleep good"
"Smooth talker" She grins touching his face.
It was a wonderful afternoon at his parents; even Jacobs's presence didn't ruin it. Rose and Emmett where there with Baby Sadie and Paget almost took her home with them.
Ava was clingy to Bella in Sadie's presence.
Alice and Jasper were as fun as ever, amazing with the kids. Everyone was relaxed Bella seemed so comfortable. Edward was watching her all day unable to take his eyes off her.
He didn't get time to talk to Emmett but he doesn't want to talk about James he knows what he is doing and what he will do what he needs to do. There is nothing to talk about.
Bella is upstairs saying good night to the kids.
"What is going on with you and Bella" Jacob questions.
"Huh?"
"You heard me"
"Leave it alone Jacob" Edward almost growls.
"No, she is different, what is going on?" He folds his massive arms over his chest and looks at Edward.
"You need to back off, nothing is going on"
"Something is, I can see it in her eyes, what did you do to her this time?" He is honestly sick of Edward hurting Bella. He has been in love with Bella since he can remember. They all know this and he stepped aside… somewhat, his friendship with Edward ruined because of this women who swooped into both their lives when she was 13. He said to Bella that she is only in love with one of them. At the time he accepted this faith but he can't sit back and watch her be hurt yet again and not do anything about it.
"Go to bed" Edward mutters shaking his head, he is not doing this with him. This is none of his business and on top of that he shouldn't be here! Edward heads to the steps to go up to bed.
Bella jogs down in very casual wear. "Hey" She smiles, then stops. She watches Edward rest his hands on her hip. "Hey, you okay?" She shifts her eyes to Jacob standing in the hall near the staircase.
"Fine, are you coming to bed sweetheart?" His thumbs brush over her hip bones.
"Yeah, I'm gonna say night to Jake and get some water"
Edward looks at Jacob standing there watching them, he turns back to his wife. "I'll be waiting" He whispers softly before passing her on the steps and kissing the top of her head on the way up.
Monday 27th August 2012
Bella is thrilled Jacob is heading home tonight, he is a good friend, and has been there for her, and has always been there for her children. But she wants her home with just her family in it right now. She has to see Dr. Gerandy tomorrow and is happy he won't be here for that.
Edward, well he is more thrilled than Bella, he is ready to just have his family around him, they need it, and they have needed it for years, months, weeks, and days. And he is desperate for it.
"Edward he is driving back tonight, so be happy about that"
"Oh I am, I'm just not happy about you going out to dinner with him" And he tried to reign in his jealousy, but that failed something fierce.
Bella looks at him through the closet mirror as she puts on lipstick.
"And do you really need lipstick Bella?" He sits in the bed and pouts.
"God you look like Paget" She smiles before turning around. "Edward"
He doesn't look up, he is being silly, but he is so sick of not 'just being' with his wife, sick of having to share her when he just wants to reconnect with her and be alone. He knows he is being dumb, but it can't be helped.
"Edward" She says again walking over and standing between his open thighs. His hands go to her middle right away.
"Is this alright?" He wonders rubbing her hips lightly. Edward looks at her nod while she stares down at him.
"More than alright" She misses him so much. Bending her head, her hands rest on his shoulders. "I miss your touch Edward"
"It's right here sweet heart"
She shuts her eyes and enjoys the feel of his hands moving over her sides. Bending her head she kisses his forehead. "I'll be home early" She says softly.
Dropping his hands from her sides that was keeping her close he sighs.
"I will" She smiles cupping his cheeks and bending down more to rub her nose on his.
He loves that she seems 'okay' now to his touch, loves that she is welcoming it more and more each day. He wants her to feel safe, wants her happy and wanting him in any way he can have her wanting him.
It is only 4, Jacob wants to get on the road for 6 so he is in Forks by 9. So it is an early dinner.
Bella smiles and opens her menu. "So" She frowns a bit.
"When did us talking become difficult?" Jacob questions tipping his head to the side.
"I don't know Jake…you know you can't just show up at the house, you and Edward" She sighs softly looking at him through heavy eyes. It needed to be said. "You are my friend, and welcome, really you are but you can't just show up I have a family, a husband who has a say" He can't put her in a difficult position like that by just showing up because she can't turn him away so cruelly.
"Yeah, yeah we aren't the best of friends"
"No you both aren't" Bella rolls her eyes a little. They clearly won't ever get over anything that happened years ago.
"Bella, he told me…it's okay" Jacob waits for a reaction. He wants to know what the hell is going on with Bella. She seems different, not as happy. In his personal opinion she was never happy enough with Cullen. But this time it is different, he doesn't like it. Doesn't like what he sees on her face.
Bella widens her eyes. "What…"
"Yeah Bells, he told me, you need to" He has to stop because he doesn't know what he is talking about.
"He-he" Bella looks at the table; her menu no longer in her grasp, the ability to hold onto anything is gone. Her heart clenches at the thought Edward is exposing this to anyone makes it ache. "Oh god…why" She whispers to no one specific.
"Bells…Bella" Jacob calls her, she seems completely beside herself and whatever they are hiding is probably worse than he thinks.
"Why…why would he tell you about it?" She looks at him, her eyes heavy with unshed tears. She has tried so hard to trust Edward but he breaks her heart at every turn, she doesn't have any more to give him. She has been weakened by him that she doesn't think she can get back up this time.
"Because Bella, I knew you were hurting, and he thought" Jacob starts not sure what to say to get out of her why she is so…different.
"But he told you I was raped" She whispers covering her lips the moment the words leave them, the moment the words leave her lips, the tears now shed from her eyes. "It isn't his to tell" She whispers.
1st - SO I had Bella saying 'I want to wait' then *BAM* I had a great idea…some will like it some will hate it – I know how this love/hate goes. Just go with it!
2nd - From the film 'Noises Off' (brilliant by the way) 'Don't panic, Don't panic' those are my wise words for you
3rd – I have more from this dinner to come, I want it put it in but the way I stopped it I planned to jump right into the Edward/Bella talk. But I want more Bella/Jacob so I need to figure out how to do that but with a smooth movement back to the house and E/B. We shall see. I didn't think anymore B/J fit here so I stopped.
ANYWAY – hope you are pleased with it, I don't LOVE it but I can't win em' all I guess!
