Veronica wanted to call out after him, to ask him about that note, to get him to tell her why he had still lied to the police about why he had said he was still in Mexico with Dick and Beaver but her father had looped his arm around her and taken her home.

"You saying you want me dead?"

Veronica had asked him and he had looked at her with such fury.

"Yes"

She couldn't settle the niggling doubts she had, he had admitted to stalking Lilly and leaving that shot glass in her car, but the evidence list didn't mention anything about the letter he had mentioned. She really wanted to go and see Wallace, but he wasn't really speaking to her after his father had broken up with Alicia, his mother when Lianne Mars had come home.

"Are you sure you didn't find a note in the car?" she asked her dad over dinner.

"No, it was never found" he told her sadly.

"Must we really talk about this at the table?" her mother asked uncomfortably.

Veronica changed the subject to talk about the new recipe for the bolognaise that her mother had made before she retreated back to her room. She watched the videos she had of Lilly on her computer, she had to remind herself why she was doing all of this in the first place.

She would give anything to go back to that day of the two of them dancing around to the Spice Girls in Lilly's room, back to when that hurt look on Logan's face didn't slice through her heart… back to when a part of her didn't suspect Duncan.

"I've got a secret… a good one" Lilly had told her conspiringly on the last day of her life, it was then that Veronica noticed the small air vent above the mirror in Lilly's bedroom.

If Lilly had wanted to keep that break up letter secret… there was only one place Veronica knew for sure she would have hidden it. The air vent in her bedroom. It seemed so obvious to her now.. in the entire year since Lilly's murder, it had never occurred to her to check there.

This doubt wouldn't go away, and if there was even a slight possibility that that note could exonerate Logan? She had to find out for sure.

One way or another… she was breaking into the Kane's house tonight to check those vents.

Logan had spent the last few hours drinking heavily along the boardwalk until the petite dark haired goth bartender shooed him out and she closed the gates.

"Bye Daisy, you drive me crazy!" he said sarcastically as he climbed into his car and she gave him a dirty look. He couldn't go home, he didn't want to go home. His father had called him several times and left a voicemail about a meeting with the Governor at the Kane's house but he couldn't face Duncan right now.

He didn't want to do much more than curl up beside Lilly's grave and cry, but that was all the way across Neptune in the Kane Family Mausoleum, and that was covered with security the last few days because of morbid reporters trying to get snaps. How could he show his face there?

He drove out to the Coronado Bridge, to the spot where his mother jumped and climbed up on the ledge. He stared out at the water missing his mother more than ever. He could get it now… why she had chosen this place, his mother's favourite animal was a Mermaid. He could almost imagine her soul dancing in the moonlight beneath the waves, the occasional glimpse of her tail as she swam freely through the cool waters. Free at Last.

What was the point in going on living?

His heart had just been obliterated… the crap pile that been his life had just eclipsed the only bit of sunlight he had found in the year and a half since Lilly's death.

Veronica had broken up with him… and that hurt more than he ever wanted to admit… had he mattered to her at all?

This love he felt had twisted until it felt like he was being torn apart from the inside.

She had accused him of killing Lilly.

Reality Veronica sucked… she was a bitch.. she had taken his heart and stomped on it…

He would drink until his Fantasy Veronica came back… until he could wrap himself up in her arms she would tell him that she loved him and then he would let the waves take him.