Dreams of Love
Chapter 29: Next Step
"Meredith? Honey? Meri, what's wrong?" Derek turned her face up and examined it.
She opened her eyes and smiled through her tears. He gasped at the look on her face. It was brilliant, as if she were lit from an eternal fire within. Her face was luminous.
"I love you," she repeated.
Derek searched her face again and found nothing but joy. His heart flooded with love for this special girl. His concern evaporated to nothing. She was a woman. Sometimes women were inscrutable to him, that's all. With four sisters, a mother, two beloved, deceased grandmothers, and an ex he was used to that.
"I love you, too," he replied.
Her incredible joyous smile at his words seduced him completely.
"You're the most beautiful girl in the world," he said sincerely, brushing his thumb over her pink lips.
"Now I know you're blinded by love," she laughed gently, "It's okay though, I'm glad you think I'm beautiful."
"You are," he whispered against her mouth.
Then he kissed her tenderly. Her body, always responsive to him, was liquid silver now, utterly fluid and his to do with as he would. She melted against him like dark chocolate in the sun. She kissed him back with her whole heart and soul. He was overcome by the moment again, but had no idea what was going on. Manlike, he accepted the gift of her emotional and spiritual treasure trove without really getting the significance. Another woman would have known instantly what was up.
It was perfectly fine with Meredith. That moment had been her own. It was a unique private moment. Derek may feel the shift in her, but she didn't have to discuss it with him. It was the solidification of her commitment to herself and to him and to them as a couple. Meredith had passed a point of no return with Derek. If he left her now she would spend this lifetime alone.
She turned in his arms and wrapped hers around his shoulders, burying her fingers in the thick damp silk hair at the nape of his neck. The water sloshed around their waists as she slid her knees to either side of his hips mounting him. He grinned at her sexily, and rubbed her back gently, pulling her slowly towards him. Her rosy tipped breasts peeped through the suds, enchanting him. He shifted his seat a little, sliding back against the tub until he rested his head against the lip. He opened his thighs slightly, letting his growing interest push against her. She reached between them and caressed him to a larger, harder size, never taking her eyes off of his.
He started to move, but she murmured, "My turn, be my pretty boy toy, you promised."
"I did," he grinned cheekily at that, and settled back, "I can do pretty."
"So no touching me or moving until I tell you," she instructed him on her rules, "I get to play with you first."
"Play with me, pretty girl."
Meredith put her hands on his chest and leaned forward to touch his face with tiny petal soft kisses. She whisper kissed the corners of his mouth and felt them upturn. He started to kiss her back, but she pulled away.
"Ah, ah, ah. No, no," she reminded him, kissing him softly even as she reprimanded him, "Mm, you need to shave."
She voyaged over his throat kissing every inch. She sucked his flesh into her mouth and was tempted to leave a mark. She let him go and giggled at how his scrub nurses would look at him askance if she did. They'd all know Dr. Shepherd had been well and truly loved by Dr. Grey.
"You're giggling," Derek accused her softly, "I like hearing you giggle."
She kissed his lips again, and then nibbled and kissed her way along his shoulders, pausing occasionally to grasp his thick muscle in her teeth, nipping him.
"Kiss me Derek, all over my face the way I kissed you."
Meredith angled her face back and forth for him so that he could kiss every inch for her. His kisses fell like a loving rain on her face. She kissed his jawline to his ear and sucked his earlobe into her warm, moist mouth. She gently sucked on it and teased it with her tongue, sending warm tingles of excitement across his nerve endings. She blew hot, wet breath into his ear as she caressed his thick member again, making him shudder in reaction.
"Meredith... let me...," he wanted to hold her, touch her.
"What... what my love... what would you like?" Meredith teased him.
"Let me touch you, honey. I want to touch you."
"Here?" She coyly touched her lips, his eyes followed the graceful teasing movements of her hand.
"Or here?" she trailed her fingers down her own throat in suggestion. He licked his lips hungrily.
"Or, perhaps, here?" Meredith lifted her breasts in both hands, plumping them and squeezing them together into a beautiful erotic shape. Derek groaned, and Mer laughed delightedly.
"Touch me here, Derek, right here," she took mercy on him and gave him permission.
Meredith gripped both sides of the tub and sat up straight. She arched her back thrusting her breasts out and up for him. He filled his hands with both breasts, kneading the plush flesh luxuriously. The whole time she could hear him almost growling with pleasure. She liked it that he didn't hold back his response from her. She loved it that her body pleased him. She let her eyes drift closed and dropped her head back, lips parted, enjoying his touch.
Derek was lightly circling her aureoles now with just the tips of his fingers. She shivered in excitement. He cupped double handfuls of water and rinsed her breasts clear of soap. The warm rinse felt wonderful and her nipples puckered even more. Candlelight shimmered across her wet, alabaster skin, and Derek shifted uncomfortably, more than ready to finish at the beautiful sight. He leaned forward to take her ripe berry in his mouth, but she tapped him sharply back.
"Ah, ah, you have to ask permission."
"Meredith...," he groaned, and rubbed her nipples between his fingers.
"And you don't get permission until I play with you first," she grinned and squirmed, turning on the tap for clear water, she rinsed his chest off and then her own. She shut the tap and looked back at her lover. He lay back resignedly, a pained look on his face.
"Aw, sweetie, you want something else?" she asked sweetly.
He nodded, 'yes', and stuck his lip out in a pout, doing pretty for her. She laughed sexily again and leaned forward to lick and suck his nipples thoroughly, driving him mad.
"Meredith, my turn, sweet girl, okay?" he pleaded with her, and grinned when he saw her nipples tighten again.
"You have permission," she said haughtily, her nose in the air, like a queen granting permission to a peasant.
He laughed and grabbed her so fast she squeaked. He sucked her nipple into his mouth and pulled strongly.
"Ah! Derek!" she yelped.
He rubbed his stubbly face over her chest from one breast to the other, and licked her second nipple to taut attention.
"Say the word, Meredith, say it!" he demanded and pleaded at the same time.
"I want you inside me now, Derek, give it to me now...," she moaned her directions.
Derek lifted her and she shifted her weight onto her knees kneeling up. She positioned his penis at her entrance and squatted down, enveloping him. He gritted his teeth, struggling to resist thrusting up. She wanted to do this her way, so he'd let her, even if he went mad before it was over. He laid back again and watched her breasts heaving and bouncing as she worked herself up and down rhythmically.
"Touch me, Derek, touch me," she chanted breathlessly.
"Here, pretty girl?" Derek kissed her lips.
"Or here?" he licked her throat, teasingly paying her back.
"Or perhaps here?" he sucked her nipple strongly again.
"Derek! There! Touch me there!"
She rode him more easily now with their cooling bathwater sloshing back and forth, some slopping over the high edge of the tub from her undulations. Derek caressed her belly, trailing his fingers low over her abdomen to her furry mound. He tickled his fingers through it, to find the extremely sensitive bundle of nerves at her core. She let herself spiral into ecstasy as she watched his face fill with his own response. The higher she climbed, the higher he climbed in response, until they were both circling their peaks.
Meredith leaned forward and kissed her love again, licking his bottom lip with her soft tongue, asking for entry. He parted his lips and she plunged inside his mouth kissing him as deeply as she could. She frantically clutched him as she felt his body contract and ejaculate. She pulled away from his mouth and gasped for breath, moaning. Derek gave her more vibration until she suddenly reached her summit and screamed, biting her lips, trying to control herself, until Derek pulled her face to his chest, muffling her cries there, and whispered to her.
"Scream, Mer, scream if you want to."
Her body contracted and rippled with force at that. Meredith let herself cry out into his shoulder all she wanted, even as she kept moving until she was complete. She sighed finally and went limp in his arms, shifting until they were gently disconnected. The water was chilling rapidly, so Derek made her move out of it.
They spooned in bed and tiredly closed their eyes. Meredith's mind ran over all the events of the day until she restlessly turned to face Derek. She snuggled close and rested her head on his shoulder, trying to sleep.
"I love you, Meredith," Derek murmured as he pulled the covers over her shoulders and patted her bottom. She smiled and slept.
ooo
"Alex, do you have the films for 5340?" Meredith asked the next day, writing charts in the tunnels of Grace.
"Yeah, somewhere," Alex looked through the mass of paperwork and films until he found the right ones.
"How do they get all mixed up like this? This is ridiculous," Meredith complained crossly, then sighed, "Sorry, never mind."
"At least you didn't have to spend six hours on dead guy scut, followed by six hours of rectals, yesterday!" complained Cristina, more crossly than Meredith, "And today, did I get a surgery? No! Not even the gallery! Bailey has me on pooper scooper duty with that kid who swallowed all the pieces in a Monopoly set. Damn it! When is she going to let up!?"
The other four interns looked at her and said nothing. Every one of them believed she deserved the punishment and were glad she was serving her time.
Finally Meredith said, "She punished me for Derek for about two months, the first time. Then about a week or two the second time."
"She hasn't quit punishing me for Denny. I suppose she never will," added Izzie seriously, "You're lucky, Cristina, after what you pulled, that you don't have to go through a battery of psychological rehab, and ethical and morals reeducation."
"Oh, shut it, Barbie, I'm not you. I didn't steal a heart for my boyfriend!" Cristina squawked.
Izzie pressed her lips together at Cristina's unkind, yet true words. Denny, ever present in her heart, suddenly appeared in her mind's eye. At first, she remembered him grinning and naughtily teasing her, then she flashed on her love grey and blue lipped, dead on a hospital bed. Pain and grief stabbed through her, but she hid the impact, her disguise perfected with tons of practice, so no one knew. She looked down at her half eaten granola bar and put it away, not hungry any more.
"You did, Cruela! You stole all those patients' hearts that Burke operated on with a shaky hand. You and Burke were wrong! And you still think the ends justified the means, even after you turned Burke in. You aren't sorry at all for what you did. I hope Bailey keeps you on pooper scooping for a month!" George was suddenly standing and shouting.
Cristina actually looked cowed. Meredith was watching the scene in complete surprise and Alex looked amused.
Izzie, pushing Denny away again, slowly stood up and said, "George, what is wrong with you? Something hasn't been right for days, and you are getting harder and harder, nastier and nastier over it. George, what!?"
"Nothing's wrong, Izzie!"
"Yeah, George, something is wrong. I've been wrapped up in my own mess with Mom and Guiseppe and Zach, but even I can tell that you aren't yourself," Meredith said quietly, "Please let us help."
"Meredith...," George began to snap.
"Don't snap at the girls, O'Malley! We aren't fools. We can see that you're sliding downhill fast. What's up? Not over your dad? Kama sutra solution not working with Torres anymore? Torres dump your sorry ass? What!?" Karev sat up and blasted George.
George's face was suffused with an unhealthy red glow. His lips were a thin white line. He frowned and his brows were drawn together almost to a unibrow.
"I asked Callie to marry me! God! Happy, now!?" George shouted.
There was a stunned silence. All four of his friends stared at him.
"So, this is your version of going crazy and jumping off a cliff, like Izzie did; like Cristina did," Alex finally said with brutal honesty.
"Shut it, Karev!"
"George," Meredith said softly, "Why are you angry? If you love Callie and have asked her to marry you, that's a good thing, right?"
"No, it's not!" said Izzie, looking out of raw, emotionally perspicacious eyes at her best friend, "George is angry because he knows he jumped off the cliff. He asked Callie to marry him and now he totally regrets it. He made a horrible mistake. It was way too soon. Right George?"
"Close you mouth, Izzie, you don't know anything about it. I don't need the opinion of someone who sees a psychiatrist every day."
Izzie gasped and stepped back. Even Cristina looked appalled. George was getting mean. Lately, his personality had hardened – and not in a grown up man way – more like the hardness of an unforgiving, judgmental bigot. George turned his back on them all and started packing his stuff up so he could leave. He wasn't about to admit Izzie was right. He'd regretted the proposal almost as soon as the words left his mouth.
"Damn, O'Malley, Izzie's right. That is the truth. I recognize it when I hear it. Now, after you've thrown a tantrum on your friends, and trash talked your best friend, making her feel hideous, you're going to storm away. That won't help you, man. If you need to slow down with Torres, then slow down. No one should be rushed into marriage. It's for life, man," Karev spoke firmly.
George kept packing, ignoring them, fuming.
"George, Alex is right. If you did something that you now regret, you need to fix it and not let it keep on going until Callie or you ends up terribly hurt."
"Thanks, Meredith. I really want relationship advice from someone who, a couple months ago, was a tequila soaked, slutty, train wreck dating a married man!"
"George!"
Both Izzie and Cristina said it at the same time. Alex shifted so he was between Meredith and George. He glared at O'Malley. George looked shocked at his own words for a second.
Then he shouted, "Damn it!" and stormed away.
"I'm sorry, Meredith. George must be having some kind of delayed reaction to his dad's death. That's all I can say," Izzie sadly gathered her trash together and threw it away. Then she packed her own reports for Shepherd and headed resolutely upstairs to her now weekly psychiatrist appointment.
Cristina and Alex and Meredith looked at each other in shock.
"What just happened... whew!" said Meredith.
"Bambi's blown a gasket. If he doesn't look out, he'll wind up with a wife he doesn't love, six kids, and a huge mortgage before he finishes residency," Cristina snorted, "Typical."
"Meredith, whatever. We have to get these done for Sloan by four thirty," Alex prompted Mer.
"Okay," Meredith said while still looking after both her room mates. Her heart ached for the nasty scene they'd just endured. She'd give just about anything at this point for life to run smoothly for a change.
