Despite crawling along the highway at an agonizing speed—solely for Anna's benefit, not mine—the drive was exhilarating. I felt free and relaxed, driving along the road with my hand on her thigh, her arm around mine. I tried not to stare at her, but I couldn't help it. The golden sunset wasn't even a fraction as beautiful as she was—her ivory face, her red curls blowing in the wind from the open windows, her arm wrapped around mine.

I sang along with the radio as we drove, she watched me, a smile on her face.

"You like fifties music?" She asked.

"Music in the fifties was good. Much better than the sixties, or the seventies, ugh!" I shuddered, recalling how ghastly that entire decade had been—far too opulent and overdone. "The eighties were bearable."

"Are you ever going to tell me how old you are?" She asked tentatively, like she was worried about upsetting me.

"Does it matter much?" I smiled, amused.

"No, but I still wonder…" She shrugged. "There's nothing like an unsolved mystery to keep you up at night."

Didn't I know it.

"I wonder if it will upset you," I said, gazing into the sun. I was unsure if I wanted to answer.

"Try me," She said after a few minutes.

I sighed, and looked into her eyes, trying to find some excuse to avoid the subject, but her eyes were warm and full of patience and understanding. She could handle this, I could see that. I looked back into the setting sun, the light casting light off my skin as I spoke.

"I was born in Chicago in 1901." I paused, glancing at her from the corner of my eyes. Her face was even and patient. I smiled at her understanding and continued. "Carlisle found me in a hospital dying of the Spanish influenza. I was just seventeen, nearly eighteen."

The tiniest intake of breath made me nervous for a moment, I looked down into her eyes again. I couldn't tell what she was thinking, whatever it was her face didn't show anything at all.

"I don't remember it well—it was a very long time ago, and human memories fade." Even with the benefits afforded by being one of my kind, even when first changed, human memories are seen through the veil of humanity. From the moment one of my kind opens their eyes, human memories are already fading into obscurity, only the memories of your new life stay vibrant. "I do remember how it felt, when Carlisle saved me. It's not an easy thing, not something you could forget."

"Your parents?"

"They had already died from the disease. I was alone. That was why he chose me. In all the chaos of the epidemic, no one would ever realize I was gone."

"How did he… save you?"

I didn't want to tell her at first, I didn't want to explain the process—I didn't want it to even be an option. I chose my words carefully. "It was difficult. Not many of us have the restraint to accomplish it. But Carlisle has always been the most humane, the most compassionate of us… I don't think you could find his equal throughout all of history." I paused, considering how much I wanted to share. "For me, it was merely very, very painful."

My jaw set, my lips pressed tight. I hoped she wouldn't ask me for more details… I didn't want to give them. I glanced, quickly at her expression. Her eyes were on fire with curiosity, but I could tell she was doing her best to suppress her questions. I could appreciate her willingness to leave me some secrets… I could give her a few more details. I could tell what the biggest question was, so I answered softly.

"He acted from loneliness. That's usually the reason behind the choice. I was the first in Carlisle's family, though he found Esme soon after. She fell from a cliff. They brought her straight to the hospital morgue, though, somehow, her heart was still beating."

Understanding seemed to light her expression. "So you must be dying, then, to become…" She trailed off, the word hung heavily in the cab of the truck.

"No, that's just Carlisle. He would never do that to someone who had another choice." It was something I always admired about Carlisle; that he would never damn someone to this existence if they had another choice. "It is easier he says, though, if the blood is weak." My eyes followed the long, dark road ahead of us and I was lost in my thoughts.

"And Emmett and Royal?" she asked, quietly.

"Carlisle brought Royal to our family next. I didn't realize till much later that he was hoping he would be to me what Esme was to him—he was careful with his thoughts around me." I rolled my eyes at the memories. "But he was never more than a brother. It was only two years later that Royal found Emmett. Royal was hunting—we were in Appalachia at the time—and found a bear about to finish him off. He carried him back to Carlisle, more than a hundred miles, afraid he wouldn't be able to do it himself. I'm only beginning to guess how difficult that journey was for him." I threw a pointed look at Anna and brushed her cheek with my hand. Knowing now what I knew, experiencing what I had, I had to acknowledge the newfound respect I had for Royal, as much of a brat as he could be.

"But he made it," Anna said, looking away from my eyes.

"Yes," I murmured. "Royal saw something in Emmett's face that made him strong enough. And they've been together ever since. Sometimes they live separately from us, as a married couple. But the younger we pretend to be, the longer we can stay in any given place. Forks seemed perfect, so we all enrolled in high school." I laughed, as a thought came to me. "I suppose we'll have to go to their wedding in a few years,again."

"Alice and Jasper?"

"Alice and Jasper are two very rare creatures. They both developed a conscience, as we refer to it, with no outside guidance. Jasper belonged to another… family, averydifferent kind of family. He became depressed, and he wandered on his own. Alice found him. Like me, she has certain gifts above and beyond the norm for our kind."

"Really?" She interrupted, fascination in her voice. "But you said you were the only one who could hear people's thoughts."

"That's true. She knows other things. Sheseesthings—things that might happen, things that are coming. But it's very subjective. The future isn't set in stone. Things change."

Alice's visions of Anna—the ones I hated, the ones where she was like me—flashed through my mind. My jaw locked, and my eyes flashed to her face for just a moment.

"What kinds of things does she see?" She asked.

"She saw Jasper and knew that he was looking for her before he knew it himself. She saw Carlisle and our family, and they came together to find us. She's most sensitive to non-humans. She always sees, for example when another group of our kind is coming near. And any threat they may pose."

"Are there a lot of…" She paused, shying away from the obvious word. "Your kind?"

"No, not many. But most won't settle in any one place. Only those like us, who've given up hunting you people"—I glanced in her direction with a sly grin—"can live together with humans for any length of time. We've only found one other family like ours, in a small village in Alaska. We lived together for a time, but there were so many of us that we became too noticeable. Those of us who live… differently tend to band together."

"And the others?"

"Nomads for the most part. We've all lived that way at times. It gets tedious, like anything else. But we run across the others now and then, because most of us prefer the North."

"Why is that?"

I pulled up to her house, and cut the ignition of the truck. We sat in the darkness of the moonless night. A quick glance at the dark porch told me that her father hadn't arrived home yet. Good. I had more time with her. I was becoming excessively greedy.

"Did you have your eyes open this afternoon?" I teased. "Do you think I could walk down the street in the sunlight without causing traffic accidents? There's a reason why we chose the Olympic Peninsula, one of the most sunless places in the world. It's nice to be able to go outside in the day. You wouldn't believe how tired you can get of nighttime over the years."

"So that's where the legends came from?" she surmised.

"Probably."

"And Alice is from another family, like Jasper?"

"No, and thatisa mystery." One that we had all been trying to solve for years. Alice was content enough with how things were, but a part of her still wondered. She would never tell anyone—even Jasper—how much she wondered about her human life. It was a secret she shared only with me. "Alice doesn't remember her human life at all. And she doesn't know who created her. She awoke alone. Whoever made her walked away, and none of us understand why, or how, he could. If she hadn't had that other sense, if she hadn't seen Jasper and Carlisle and that she would someday become one of us, she probably would have turned into to a total savage."

For all my teasing of her, I admired Alice. I admired her patience and her ability to trust in futures that were as permanent as footprints in the sand. The tide always came in, and those glimmering futures were suddenly washed away. And yet, Alice never faltered.

Anna seemed just as engrossed in her thoughts as I was, then, suddenly, her stomach growled loudly. I had forgotten, again, how often humans needed to eat. I would have to be better at that.

"I'm sorry," I smiled, "I'm keeping you from dinner."

"I'm fine, really." She shifted in her seat, her hand lingering over her stomach.

"I've never spent much time around anyone who eats food. I forget." I apologized.

"I want to stay with you." Her voice was quiet, and even in the darkness, I could easily see the crimson color of her cheeks.

"Can't I come in?" I surprised myself with how forward I was being, but it was too late to take it back and Ididwant to spend more time with her.

"Would you like to?" She sounded doubtful.

"Yes, if it's all right." I said, then I stepped out of the truck and walked around it to open her door for her before my door had finished closing.

She smiled as she slid out of the truck. "Very human," she nodded toward my hand on the door.

"It's definitely resurfacing." Among other human impulses.

She kept glancing at me as we walked toward her front door. There was something strange in her glance, but I couldn't place it. She seemed deep in thought.

I reached the door first, I grabbed the key I had seen her use from its hiding spot under the eave, unlocked the door, and held it open for her. She paused halfway through the frame.

"Did I forget to lock the door this morning?" The confused expression on her face was adorable.

"No, I used the key from under the eave."

She blinked once, then stepped inside. She turned the porch light on and turned back to me with her eyebrows raised. Ah. She was wondering how I knew about the key. She had never used it in front of me. I only knew about it from my secret visits to her house.

There was no point in lying. "I was curious about you," I confessed.

"You spied on me?" Her face and voice were incredulous.

I felt the guilty expression spread across my face. I was losing my ability to conceal my emotions around her! "What else is there to do at night?"

I worried that she would press the conversation further. If she was upset that I knew about the key, she probably wouldn't like that I had been letting myself into her bedroom at night. I was relieved when let out a small sigh and headed toward the small kitchen. I beat her there and sat down in one of the mismatched chairs. She stared at me for a moment before turning to the fridge.

Her eyes stayed locked on whatever it was she pulled out of the fridge. She put a chunk of it on a plate and set it in the microwave, watching it revolve. The kitchen was filled with the sharp smell of herbs and spices. My nose wrinkled slightly in response.

I watched her standing there, wondering how upset she would be if I told her about my nightly visits. I didn't want to think about that, though. Instead, I flipped through what little knowledge I had of human food, wondering if perhaps I could learn to cook for her. She might like that for a change.

"How often?" She suddenly asked, her voice low and even.

"Hmmm?"

She didn't turn to face me. "How often did you come here?"

There was no avoiding it. I had hoped she wouldn't ask, but there was no point in lying or avoiding the question. I would be honest.

"I come here almost every night." I held my breath, waiting anxiously for her response.

She spun around to face me, her face stunned. "Elsa!" Her voice scolded me. "Why?"

"You're interesting when you sleep." I confessed, my guilt apparent on my face. "You talk." I said quietly.

"No!" She gasped, her face turning scarlet. She stumbled back slightly and caught herself on the countertop. Her eyes were wide and angry.

"Are you very angry with me?" It was obvious she was, but I hoped she wasn'ttooupset.

"Oh, I'm angry. But how angry I am depends…" She was breathless, her tone was livid.

I waited anxiously. I felt terrible. She had every right to be angry, after all. When she didn't finish her sentence, I pressed for more.

"On?" I urged.

"What you heard!" She wailed.

I hurried to her side, taking her warm hands in mine.

"Please don't be upset!" I begged, dropping my face so our eyes were level, trying to hold her gaze. She wouldn't look straight at me, though. So she wasveryupset with me. I should confess everything I had heard.

"You miss your mother," I breathed. "You worry about her. And when it rains, the sound makes you restless. You used to talk about home a lot, but it's less often now. Once you said 'it's toogreen.'" I chuckled softly, hoping I wasn't upsetting her further.

"Anything else?" She demanded.

I hung my head, I wouldn't be able to charm my way out of this. "You did say my name," I said.

She sighed, sounding defeated. "A lot?"

"How much do you mean by 'a lot,' exactly?"

"Oh, god!" Her face went deep red again.

I pulled her into my, resting her face against my cold chest, feeling terrible.

"I'm so sorry, I know I shouldn't have. Please, don't be self-conscious," I whispered into her ear. "If I could dream at all, it would be of you. And I'm not ashamed of it."

I was so engrossed in her, that I was almost surprised by the sound of tires on the brick driveway. Headlights flashed through the front windows, and she stiffened in my arms, her heart suddenly pounding.

"Should your father know I'm here?" I wondered.

"I'm not sure…" Her eyes lingered on my chest and stomach, "probably not like this…"

"Another time then…" I breathed, and gently pulled myself away, hurrying up the stairs to her bedroom.

"Elsa!" I heard her hiss.

I chuckled in response as I slipped into her bedroom.

I took my usual place on the old rocking chair and listened intently. I could hear the sound of a key in the door before it opened.

"Anna?" David called as he stepped into the entryway. His thoughts were fatigued this evening.

"In here." Anna called back, there was a panicked edge to her voice. Hopefully David was too tired to hear, because Anna was a terrible liar. The microwave door opened, followed by the sound of a plate scraping as it was pulled out. David's footsteps headed toward the kitchen.

"Can you get me some of that? I'm bushed."

Anna didn't respond, but I could hear her fork on her plate amidst sounds of her preparing a second plate for David. Then a cabinet door opening, water being poured into a cup—no, two cups. I chuckled quietly to myself when I heard Anna gulp down one of the glasses, she was too nervous! One of the chairs scraped as someone sat in it, I imagined it was probably David.

"Thanks," David said and I heard the sound of a plate being set on the table.

"How was your day?" Anna asked in a rushed voice. I rolled my eyes. She would need to get better at this.

"Good. The fish were biting…" David did sound pleased. "Did you get everything done that you wanted to?"

"Not really—it was too nice to stay indoors."

"It was a nice day," David agreed, then the tone of his thoughts became slightly suspicious. "In a hurry?"

"Yeah, I'm tired." Anna said. "I'm going to bed early."

"You look kind of keyed up," David was most definitely suspicious.

"Do I?" Anna asked, trying to sound casual or surprised I guessed. She failed, though, and just sounded nervous. I could hear the sound of something being scrubbed under water.

"It's Saturday," David mused.

"It is." Anna agreed.

"No plans tonight?" David asked suddenly.

"No, Dad, I just want to get some sleep."

"So…" David began, "None of the boys or girls in town your type, eh?"

I listened, even more intently, to hear Anna's answer.

"No, none of the boys or girls in town have caught my eye yet." I could hear a hint of a smile in Anna's voice, and she emphasized the wordgirlsin an odd way, but I doubted David caught it.

"I thought maybe that Makayla Newton… you said she was friendly."

I felt a surge of anger hearing the Newton brat's name, coupled with a surge of jealousy and frustration that David considered Newton a worthy match for his beautiful daughter.

"She'sjusta friend, Dad." Anna said, a tinge of annoyance in her voice that pleased me greatly. "anddating my other friend."

"Well, you're too good for them all, anyway. Wait till you get to college to start looking." David sounded pleased.

"Sounds like a good idea to me," Anna agreed and it sounded like she was heading toward the stairs.

"Night, honey," David called after her, suspicion still in his thoughts.

"See you in the morning, Dad."

Anna was walking in a strangely labored manner up the stairs. I stood, ready to greet her. My hands moved to button my shirt, but I paused. She seemed to enjoy my shirt being a little open, and I was already being forward by inviting myself in, wasn't I? I left my shirt as it was and kicked off my shoes, ready to make myself comfortable.

Anna stepped in the dark room, turning around to loudly close the door. Then, without looking toward the corner where I stood, she sprinted lightly to the window and threw it open, leaning out and scanning the shadows outside. It was amazing how someone so intelligent and observant could miss the ghost white vampire standing in the corner of her room not three feet away from her.

"Elsa?" She whispered into the night.

I decided to have some fun, I silently dashed behind her and sprawled out across her bed, clasping my hands behind my head and letting my feet hang off the end. "Yes?" I chuckled.

she spun around, a hand flying to her suddenly pounding heart.

"You scared me!" She scolded.

"I'm sorry." I had to press my lips together to keep from laughing.

"Just give me a minute to restart my heart." She breathed slowly.

I moved slowly, so I wouldn't startle her again. I sat up and leaned forward so I could reach her arms to pull her onto the bed beside me. She seemed to go slightly limp at my touch, in a relaxed way.

"Why don't you sit with me," I smiled, checking her heart rate with my hand on her chest, "How's the heart?"

"You tell me—I'm sure you hear it better than I do."

She was correct, I could easily hear her heart as it beat erratically against her chest. I chuckled quietly.

We sat for a moment in silence and I listened to her heartbeat calm and slow. After a few minutes her heart sped up again suddenly, and her body seemed to stiffen next to me on the bed.

"Can I have a minute to be human?" she asked, suddenly.

"Certainly." I gestured for her to proceed.

"Stay," she said, a serious expression on her face.

"Yes, Madam." I replied, matching her tone and becoming still as a statue perched on her bed. She observed my stillness for a brief second, then dashed to her dresser and pulled out a few garments before hurrying out of the room.

Her steps were louder than usual as she moved through the house, then I heard a door bang loudly.

I waited, listening intently. The sound of a sink turning on, a sharp smell of chemical mint—toothpaste, perhaps? After several minutes I could hear the sound of a shower turning on. The smell of the shampoo Anna used wafted from the bathroom. If I listened very carefully I could hear Anna's heartbeat, slowing and speeding up then slowing again. It was a beautiful sound. Like nothing else.

I wondered where the night would go from here. This was a different experience for me entirely. Of course, I had been here many times but never when Anna was awake. My thoughts became chagrined when I remembered how upset with me she had been to know I was sneaking in every night.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the water shutting off, and after a moment the bathroom door opening. Anna's clumsy footsteps moved down the stairs.

"Night, Dad." She called.

"Night, Anna." David's voice was even, but the tone of his thoughts were surprised.

Anna's steps bounded back up the stairs—was she taking them two at a time? Her door flew open, and she closed it quickly behind her before turning to look at me. She smiled, and I felt my lips twitch in response.

She smelled especially good, likely the hot water of the shower. Her red hair was damp and hung in her face, the old shirt she was wearing was thin with a few holes and…

Oh.

I only let myself glance at her lack of pants, not wanting to be rude. I raised my eyebrows in surprise at her choice of undergarments.

"Sorry," her face was crimson, "I can put on a pair of sweatpants."

I felt a strange exhilaration deep in my stomach, not unlike the feeling when I had kissed her before. "Is this what you usually wear?" I asked in a low voice, trying to keep it calm despite my growing excitement.

"You tell me." She said flatly, narrowing her eyes.

I could only smile sheepishly as I was the guilty party, "You're always wrapped in a blanket." I tried to be effusive. The feeling deep inside me was taking over my better judgement—and my urges—and I grinned at her, "But this looks quite good."

"Thanks," she whispered, crossing the room to sit back down at my side. She crossed her legs under herself and her eyes dropped to the floor.

"What was all that for?" I asked.

"David thinks I'm sneaking out."

"Oh." Is that what David was thinking? His thoughts did have an air of suspicion to them before… "Why?"

"Apparently, I look a little overexcited."

I gently lifted her chin so I could examine her face.

"Are you?"

"Maybe," she breathed.

"You look very warm, actually."

I bent my face slowly to hers, laying my cold cheek against her burning skin. She was almost as still as I could be.

I inhaled the warmth of her scent, the heat of skin, "Mmmmmm…," I breathed out slowly.

Her heart was starting to speed up again, and her breathing became strangely irregular. I could feel her jaw flex and relax.

"It seems to be…" she paused, like she couldn't form the words, "much easier for you, now, to be close to me."

"Does it seem that way to you?" I murmured, and I let my nose trace the line of her jaw. I reached my hand out and wrapped it around her waist, pulling her closer to me. I was having a hard time being… good. I pressed my lips to the hollow beneath her ear.

"Much, much easier," she said, breathing in too much without exhaling.

"Hmm." I couldn't form sentences, I was too enthralled by her to speak. I wanted more contact with her.

"So I was wondering…," She began, but stopped short as I began to trace her collarbone with my finger.

I was rather enjoying this. "Yes?" I breathed.

"Why is that," her voice was shaking, and I felt her skin flush with embarrassment, "do you think?"

I chuckled softly, "Mind over matter." I said simply, because it was true.

But then she pulled away from me and I froze. The sudden movement startled me and I stopped breathing, clenching my jaw, worried that I had upset her or scared her.

We stared at each other cautiously, her expression seemed slightly incredulous but there was no fear in her eyes. I was confused.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No—the opposite. You're driving me crazy," she explained.

I was driving her crazy? Was she really enjoying this as much as I was? "Really?" I smiled, triumphantly pleased with myself.

"Would you like a round of applause?" She asked sarcastically.

I grinned.

"I'm just pleasantly surprised," I said. "In the last hundred years or so," I teased, "I never imagined anything like this. I didn't believe I would ever find someone who I wanted to be with… in another way than my brothers and sister. And then to find, even though it's all new to me, that I'm good at it… at being with you…" I let the sentence trail off, because there were no words to describe my absolute pleasure.

"You'reverygood at it," She said pointedly.

I shrugged, casually, grinning widely like it was nothing. We both laughed in hushed tones.

I contemplative look passed over her face, then her skeptic eyes met mine. "But how can it be so easy now? This afternoon…" She trailed off.

"It's noteasy," I sighed in response. "But this afternoon, I was still…" How could I explain it to her? "Undecided. I am very sorry about that, it was unforgiveable for me to behave so."

"Not unforgivable," she disagreed, no doubt being kind to me.

"Thank you." I smiled at her gesture. "You see," I dropped my eyes from hers as the shame overtook me, "I wasn't sure if I was strong enough…" I took one of her hands in mine and pressed it lightly to my cold face. "And while there was still that possibility that I might be… overcome"—I inhaled the intoxicating scent on her wrist, better than any perfume—"I was… susceptible. Until I made up my mind that Iwasstrong enough, that there was no possibility at all that I would… that I ever could…"

I had never had such difficulty expressing myself before, never had to work so hard to find the words. I wondered what she was thinking of me in this moment.

"So there's no possibility now?" Her voice was soft.

"Mind over matter," I said again, smiling.

"Well, that was easy," she said in a dull monotone.

I couldn't contain the laugh that erupted from my lips, but I managed to modulate the volume to a quiet whisper.

"Easy foryou!" I amended, running my finger along her warm jaw.

But I could not laugh at the darker thoughts that crept into my mind—the self-doubt that shook my confidence.

"I'm trying," I whispered. "If it gets to be… too much, I'm fairly sure I'll be able to leave."

"Fairly sure is… good."

"And it will be harder tomorrow," I continued. "I've had the scent of you in my head all day, and I've grown amazingly desensitized. If I'm away from you for any length of time, I'll have to start over again. Not quite from scratch, though, I think."

"Don't go away, then," she said quickly, a sound of deep longing in her voice.

The passion in her voice caught me by surprise for a moment, but the sentiment in her voice warmed me from the inside, filling me with excitement. "That suits me," I smiled. "Bring on the shackles—I'm your prisoner." I held my wrists out to her and she wrapped her warm, fragile fingers around them. It was humorous, in a way. Her hands were no more effective than glass against stone; wall of fragile glass trying to hold back an avalanche. Yet, I would be held here. Not by her strength, for it was nothing compared to my own, but by the love and adoration I felt for her. That love formed manacles stronger than even me. Nothing could break these bonds.

She stared down her hands around my wrists and bit her bottom lip, a strange tenseness in her body. I laughed at her strange expression, trying to understand the thoughts behind it.

"You seem more… optimistic than usual," she said, seeming distracted. "I haven't seen you like this before."

"Isn't it supposed to be like this?" I smiled. "The glory of first love, and all that. It's incredible, isn't it, the difference between reading about something, seeing it in the pictures, and experiencing it?"

"Very different," she nodded. "More forceful than I'd imagined."

I continued, speaking my thoughts as soon as they came into my mind. "For example, the emotion of jealousy. I've read about it a hundred thousand times, seen actors portray it in a thousand different plays and films. I believed I understood that one pretty clearly. But it shocked me…" A thought that displeased me made me grimace. "Do you remember the day that Makayla asked you to the dance?"

She nodded, a bemused expression on her face. "The day you started talking to me again."

"I was surprised by the flare of resentment, almost fury, that I felt—I didn't recognize what it was at first I was even more aggravated than usual that I couldn't know what you were thinking, why you refused her. Was it simply for your friend's sake? Was there someone else? I knew I had no right to care either way. Itriednot to care." I paused, and decided to have a little fun with her, "And then the line started forming," I chuckled, anticipating her reaction. She didn't disappoint me, rolling her eyes in the darkness.

"I waited, unreasonably anxious to hear what you would say to them, to watch your expressions. I couldn't deny the relief I felt, watching the annoyance on your face. But I couldn't be sure.

"That was the first night I came here. I wrestled all night, while watching you sleep, with the chasm between what I knew wasright, moral, ethical, and what Iwanted.I knew that if I continued to ignore you as I should, or if I left for a few years, till you were gone, that someday you might say yes to Makayla, or someone like her. It made me angry."

I watched her face as my voice dropped to a soft whisper, "And then, as you were sleeping, you said my name. You spoke so clearly. At first, I thought you'd woken. But you rolled over restlessly and mumbled my name once more and sighed. The feeling that coursed through me was unnerving, staggering. And I knew I couldn't ignore you any longer." I paused, listening to the rising rhythm of her heart, it was practically hypnotic.

"But jealousy… it's a strange thing. So much more powerful than I would have thought. And irrational! Just now, when David asked you about that vile Makayla Newton…" I shook my head, trying to calm myself down.

"I should have known you'd be listening." She sighed.

"I'm sorry."

"Thatmade you feel jealous, though, really?" She raised an eyebrow at me.

"I'm new at this; you're resurrecting the human in me, and everything feels stronger because it's fresh."

"But honestly," her voice was teasing, "for that to bother you, after I have to hear that Royal—Royal, the incarnation of masculine beauty,Royal—was meant for you. Emmett or no Emmett, how can I compete with that?"

I had to smile at the ridiculous of her words. The utterly absurdity that Royal could hold my attention or heart inanycapacity. I had to remind myself that Anna only knew of Royal's physical beauty, and nothing of the vain, obnoxious brat that lay underneath Royal's entrancing exterior.

"There's no competition." I said simply, taking her hands and drawing them around my body, pressing her into my chest. She stayed unnaturally still for her, her breathing seemed slow and careful.

"Iknowthere's no competition," she mumbled into my chest. "That's the problem."

I rolled my eyes. "Of course, Royalisbeautiful in his way, but even if he wasn't like a brother to me, even if Emmett didn't hold his heart, he could never have one tenth, no, one hundredth of the attraction you hold for me." I considered that attraction, the all-encompassing power of it. "For all these years I've walked among my kind, and yours… all the time thinking I was complete in myself, not realizing what I was seeking. And not finding anything, because you weren't alive yet."

"It hardly seems fair," she whispered, her face on my chest. "I haven't had to wait at all. Why should I get off so easily?"

"You're right," I agreed, amused by her observation. "I should make this harder for you, definitely." I quickly took both her hands in one of mine and held them above her head, my other hand gently traced down her arm to her neck, gently turning her head to the side so I could run my lips along her jaw. I breathed against her hot skin, "you only have to risk your life every second you spend with me, that's surely not much. You only have to turn your back on nature, on humanity… what's that worth?"

"I don't feel that deprived, to be honest." She exhaled the words.

Her blood was coursing through her veins, her body heat rising. Her breathing becoming more labored as her heart started racing, though she was sitting perfectly still. It all reminded me of how human she was. How much she could lose, how much she would be giving up, all to be with me. How was it fair? It wasn't. She would regret it all one day, I could be sure of that. I knew the ache of missing humanity, perhaps better than anyone else in my family, because I could see the results of that loss in them, in every one of our kind we had met. Anna would regret it one day, she would miss it, and she would resent me for it. She didn't feel deprived?

"Not yet." I said, sadly. More to myself, than to her.

She tried to pull her hands free of mine, but her strength was no match for mine. I grinned and chuckled softly as I continued to run my lips across her tensed jaw, then down her neck.

"If it's any consolation," she said in a shuddering breath, "You're definitely making things a lot h—"

The sound of footsteps on the stairs caused me to freeze. I would have to pay better attention, I couldn't hear David's thoughts, so I hadn't realized he had decided to come check on Anna—but listening now, I could hear the tone of suspicion mingled with curiosity surrounding Anna in his mind. Anna became very still in my arms and I released her hands and disappeared into the darkest corner of her room. She sat straight up in her bed, surprise obvious on her face.

"Lie down!" I hissed from the corner.

She rolled onto her side, pulling her worn quilt around her just in time as the door of her room cracked open. David quietly peeked into the room, looking to see if Anna was, in fact, in bed like she said she would be. Anna made an exaggerated show of breathing slowly and evenly, I imagined shebelievedshe looked like she was asleep, I held my breath so as not to chuckle. Only I could hear the loud thumping of Anna's erratic heartbeat that proved she was awake.

David watched her for a minute, before quietly closing the door and heading back downstairs. Anna stayed perfectly still, until I gently slid into the bed next to her, wrapping my arm around her under the quilt. I pressed my lips to her ear.

"You are a terrible actor—I'd say that career path is out for you."

"Oh damn," she muttered, her heart still wild in her chest.

I hummed the lullaby I had composed for her quietly in her ear, trying to calm her down. I paused after a moment, wondering if she'd even appreciate the gesture. "Should I sing you to sleep?"

"Right," she laughed. "Like I could sleep with you here!"

"You do it all the time," I replied.

"But I didn'tknowyou were here," she said with a sharp iciness to her tone.

I ignored her tone, trying to distract her from her frustration. "So if you don't want to sleep…," I trailed off, suggestively. Her breath caught.

"If I don't want to sleep…?" She repeated.

I chuckled. "What do you want to do then?"

She didn't answer, I wondered what she was contemplating.

"I'm not sure," she said finally.

"Tell me when you decide." I breathed against her neck, running my nose along her jaw, inhaling her scent.

"I thought you were desensitized."

"Just because I'm resisting the wine, doesn't mean I can't appreciate the bouquet," I whispered. "You have a very beautiful smell," I clumsily tried to explain the different notes and subtleties of her scent, "Like lavender… or freesia with hints of…" I inhaled again, "vanilla, and orange flower," I sighed. "It's mouthwatering."

"Yeah, it's an off day when I don't getsomebodytelling me how edible I smell."

I chuckled at her disinterested monotone, then I sighed, chagrined by how casually she could say something like that.

"I've decided what I want to do," she said. "I want to hear more about you."

"Ask me anything."

She was silent for only a moment. "Why do you do it?" she asked. "I still don't understand how you can work so hard to resist what you…are. Please don't misunderstand, of course I'm glad that you do. I just don't see why you would bother in the first place."

It was such a complicated question. Such a heavy question, but not an unfamiliar question. I considered the best way to answer her. "That's a good question, and you are not the first one to ask it. The others—the majority of our kind who are quite content with our lot—they, too, wonder at how we live. But you see, just because we've been… dealt a certain hand… it doesn't mean we can't choose to rise above—to conquer the boundaries of a destiny that none of us wanted. To try to retain whatever essential humanity we can…"

She was completely still, her breathing slow and even.

"Did you fall asleep?" I whispered after a few minutes.

"No."

"Is that all you were curious about?"

She rolled her eyes. "Not quite."

"What else do you want to know?"

"Why can you read minds—why only you? And Alice, seeing the future… why does that happen?"

I shrugged, not having a proper answer for her. "We don't really know. Carlisle has a theory… he believes that we bring something of our strongest human traits with us into the next life, where they are intensified—like our minds, and our senses. He thinks that I must have already been very sensitive to the thoughts of those around me. And that Alice had some precognition, wherever she was."

"What did he bring into the next life, and the others?"

"Carlisle brought his compassion. Esme brought her ability to love passionately. Emmett brought his strength, Royal his…" I struggled for a kind way to phrase what I wanted to say. "Tenacity. Or you could call it pigheadedness," I chuckled. "Jasper is very interesting. He was quite charismatic in his first life, able to influence those around him to see things his way. Now he is able to manipulate the emotions of those around him—calm down a room of angry people, for example, or excite a lethargic crowd. It's a very subtle gift."

I waited for her to speak again, but she was quiet, her eyes gazing off into her room focusing on nothing.

"So where did it all start? I mean, Carlisle changed you, and then someone must have changed him, and so on…."

"Well, where did you come from? Evolution? Creation? Couldn't we have evolved in the same way as other species, predator and prey? Didn't the world produce both the angelfish and the shark, the baby seal and the killer whale? Couldn't it create both our kinds together?"

"Let me get this straight—I'm the baby seal, right?"

"Right." I laughed, pressing my lips to her soft hair.

Her head twitched slightly, like she wanted to turn to face me but changed her mind. I didn't like that. I wanted her to face me, I wanted… I wanted more than for her to face me. I prepared myself, flexed my self-control.

"Anna?"

She turned her head and I agilely moved my body slightly on top of hers, careful not to crush her under me. One of my hands moved to her cheek and the other rested at her waist. I could do this again. I tried to keep my movement slow and controlled as I leaned forward and pressed my cold lips to her warm, soft lips. Her pulse instantly quickened, and her arms wrapped around my neck with halting excitement. She ran her hands through my hair, catching strands between her fingers and it triggered some deep, animalistic urge inside of me; a low growl of pleasure escaped my throat. Anna was becoming more relaxed, more urgent, and I was matching her. Suddenly, she pulled herself away from me, panting softly. She gazed up at me, her eyes wide and hungry. I could see the reflection of my own, frenzied, hungry expression in the silvery pool of her gaze.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked, confused, my voice husky.

"Not at all," she breathed, "I need a minute this time."

I smiled, "Are you ready to sleep?" I worked to calm myself down. "Or do you have any more questions?"

"Only a million or two."

"We have tomorrow, and the next day, and the next….," I offered and she smiled euphorically at my words.

"Are you sure you won't disappear?"

"I won't leave you." It was a vow, a promise. Nothing could force me away from this girl.

"One more, then, tonight…" she blushed, the heat radiating off her skin.

"What is it?"

"No, forget it. I changed my mind."

"Anna you can ask me anything."

But she didn't answer, and I felt that familiar swell of frustration, intensified by her sudden quiet.

"I keep thinking it will get less frustrating, not hearing your thoughts. But it just gets worse andworse."

"I'm glad you can't read my thoughts." She retorted. "It's bad enough that you eavesdropped on my sleep-talking."

"Please?" I begged, using my most persuasive voice.

But she shook her head.

"If you don't tell me, I'll just assume it's something much worse than it is," I warned. "Please?" I pleaded.

"Well," she began, tentatively.

"Yes?"

"Okay… Umm…" She fidgeted, nervously. Her pulse was quickening. "Wow, this isn't easy." She took a deep breath. "Okay, so, you said that Royal and Emmett have been a couple for a long time… right?"

"Yes…" I said slowly, confused.

"They've… gotten married?"

"Yes." I repeated, still utterly lost by her train of thought.

"They've…" she struggled for another moment with her words. "Had wedding nights?" she finally asked, and the sudden understanding made me laugh.

"are you asking me about sex Anna?"

"Well, I didn't want to just ask in a gross way." She shifted.

"Yes, I suppose it's much the same. I told you, most of those human desires are there, just hidden behind more powerful desires."

"So, you never… before you became…" she trailed off, blushing furiously.

"No, I didn't. There was never anyone before you." I told her honestly, tenderly.

"Oh," was her soft reply, "good to know."

"Was there a purpose behind your curiosity?" I knew there was, I knew her well enough by now to know that.

"Well, I guess I did wonder… about you and me… someday…"

My body tensed, I froze. My mind raced at the thought. I had considered it once before, when speaking with Emmett. I knew it was, theoretically, possible. But how could I risk it? How could I be so irresponsible as to risk her very life for pleasure? That would be despicable of me.

"I don't think that… that… would be possible for us."

"Because it would be too… difficult for you, if I were that… Close?"

"That's certainly a problem. But that's not what I was thinking of. It's just that you're so soft, so fragile. I have to mind my actions every moment that we're together so that I don't hurt you. I could kill you quite easily, Anna, simply by accident." I spoke softly, moving my palm to her hot cheek. "If I was too hasty… if for one second I wasn't paying enough attention, I could reach out, meaning to touch your face, and crush your skull by mistake. You don't realize how incrediblybreakableyou are. I can never, never afford to lose any kind of control when I'm with you."

And my control was always at risk when we were any sort of… intimate. Even a simple kiss, I was fighting to keep myself in control. I couldn't imagine—couldn'tfathom—how I could possibly keep my control if we were anymore…I had to calm myself down.

"Are you scared?" I asked anxiously when she didn't respond.

She seemed to consider the question for a moment. Then, when her heartbeat had slowed again, she spoke, "No, I'm fine."

As relieved as I was to hear her words, a gnawing curiosity ate away at me. "I'm curious now, though. Haveyouever…?" I trailed off, feeling ungentlemanly saying the words.

"No I haven't." she flushed scarlet. "I told you I've never felt like this about anyone before, not even close."

"I know. It's just that I know other people's thoughts. I know love and lust don't always keep the same company."

"They do for me. Now, anyway, that they exist for me at all," she sighed.

"That's nice. We have that in common." I was unable to hide my profound satisfaction.

"Your human instincts…," she began. I waited, barely breathing. She continued. "Well, do you find me attractive, inthatway, at all?"

I laughed, tousling her nearly dry hair.

"I may not be a human, but I am a woman," I assured her.

"Oh?"

I grinned wickedly, repining her arms above her, leaning in and brushing my lips against her ear, her heart began to race.

"Believe me." I growled the words into her ear and a shiver ran down her body.

"I do." The words came out strangled, her heart still beating against her chest.

"I'm not sure you do," I pressed my lips against her ear. "Shall I tell you all the things I find attractive about you?"

"No, you don't have to." She breathed.

I decided I would tell her anyway. After all, any chance I had to extoll on her subtle perfections…

"It was your eyes first. You have beautiful eyes, Anna, like Glass and diamonds. Utterly captivating."

"Er, thank you…"

I chuckled softly. "I'm not alone. Nearly everyone noticed your eyes first."

"I think you're making that up." She argued.

"Hardly," I brushed my lips against her ear. "Next was your nose," I raised my hand and gently touched the tip of her perfect nose, "and your chin." I caught her chin between my finger and thumb. "I could go on and on if you let me."

"You don't have to keep going on." She blushed.

"Mmm…" I breathed into her ear again. "I must tell you, it took me quite by surprise to realize that not only did I find you delicious, but also intelligent, fascinating, and beautiful."

I thought again of that reckless angel that had formed Anna. The subtle perfection with which she was formed. I would forever begrudge that angel for thrusting Anna into such danger and be forever grateful to that angel for Anna's creation in the first place.

Her face burned in the darkness, I enjoyed the sensation as the heat radiated from her and warmed my own cold skin.

"Oh, and I didn't even mention yourhair." My nose brushed through her hair, inhaling the scent.

"Now you're just being over the top."

"I'm truly not. Did you know that your hair is precisely the same shade as a mahogany inlaid ceiling in a monastery I once stayed at in… I think it would be Cambodia now?"

"Um, no, I did not." A yawn escaped her lips.

I grinned, "I've answered your questions, now you should sleep."

"I'm not sure if I can."

"Do you want me to leave?" I offered, releasing her hands and slowly pulling myself away from her. It tortured me to even consider leaving, but if it was what was best for her… I would force myself to do anything that was best for her.

"No!" She said too loudly, reaching out and hooking her arms around my neck, pulling me back into her.

I laughed, and all too happily settled back next to her, wrapping her in my arms. I began softly humming her lullaby again.

After a moment, she relaxed completely, and before long she drifted off to sleep in my cold arms.