It was another two weeks before Bess was fully upon her feet and had regained her health. Luckily for the gang, and unluckily for anyone who pursued them, the town was little known and the men rarely left or told tales to outsiders, it had become quite the safe haven.
Bess sat outside on a risen plank of wood that served as a crude bench, she was a little thinner and paler but she felt fit and well within herself and soon they would all be heading back to Fort Sumner. Bess found herself looking forward to seeing the town again, it had been one of the very few places she had called home and really meant it.
She pulled her shawl around her shoulders as the bitter December wind gave another gust and she shivered slightly. The ground beneath her feet was frozen and although she knew they'd try to make it an easy ride for her she did not relish the prospect of getting back on a horse.
She glanced up to her left and was not surprised to see Dave sulking some way off, snatching glimpses at her as he pretended to be engrossed in cleaning his guns. This had become a daily routine ever since she had started to venture outside to take the air. She ignored him as best she could but it was difficult, as if his presence forced the memories of that night back into her mind, causing her pain and remorse.
Dave had tried his best to visit her at her sick bed and at first the men who cared for her would not permit him entry but as she gained her strength they let it be her decision and she had refused to see him even once. She did not hate Dave, or at least didn't want to hate him, but in her eyes he had played a part in her misery just as much as she had. She couldn't forgive or stand herself so Dave had a slim chance of leniency from her in any respect.
She tried to shake the gloomy thoughts and turned her attention to Charlie and Tom who stood a little away from her. Charlie was trying to teach Tom how to twirl his gun. She laughed quietly to herself as another failed attempt was made on Charlie's part; she knew as well as anyone that Charlie was no expert himself.
Her attention was distracted as she saw Doc walking towards her; she raised her hand in greeting. He smiled and sat beside her causing the make-shift bench to creak slightly. They both watched the two men before them who continued practicing.
Doc laughed as Charlie dropped his gun to the dirt. "Maybe Tommy will end up teaching him" he said, grinning at Bess and squinting a little in the winter sun.
Bess smiled and nodded. "Maybe" she said quietly.
"You still feel alright?" He placed a hand upon her brow and she grinned at him. He hadn't stopped fussing over her for days now.
She brushed his hand away. "Like I told you yesterday, I'm just fine." Her tone was forceful but bore a hint of teasing within it.
"Alright, alright" Doc said with a chuckle.
Bess glanced at him and then away, unsure if she should ask, it seemed she'd asked the same question every day.
"How's Billy?" She tried to make her voice casual but found she could not meet his eye as she spoke the words.
Doc returned to watching Charlie and Tom, his smile fading slightly.
"Fine."
Bess felt her heart sink, she could never get more information from any of them and she felt she had no right to press. She had not seen Billy since the night he had walked away in the rain. Although Tom had told her that he had visited her while she was sick she could not remember seeing him and the feeling of loss broke her heart. His absence from seeing her did not bode well and she knew this fact only too well.
She smiled bitterly and then turned to Doc, not wanting to dwell on such thoughts anymore in case they drove her out of her mind, it was a subject she avoided dwelling on, it seemed better that way.
"How about a drink Doc?" she asked, smiling.
Doc studied her for a moment, his eyes searching.
"Ok, just one, you still need to get your strength back and drinkin' won't help."
She nodded and giggled, poking him playfully. "I promise, just one."
Doc rose and offered his hand to her, which she gladly took, and he pulled her to her feet. She winced as the pain in her foot shot through her leg; she grimaced and then regained herself, her legs felt stiff. Bess grasped Doc's arm and with his aid they set off for the saloon.
The place was more like a large shack than any saloon Bess had seen. The floor was dirt covered and stained with used chewing tobacco. It was half empty as it was after noon and most men had gone to work the mines. They picked a table and Doc went and purchased both of them some cheap and rather bad looking whiskey.
He handed Bess her glass and sat down.
He sipped some of the liquid and pulled a face, causing Bess to laugh. He encouraged her to taste it with his hand.
"Go on then, see if you can resist tellin' the world how bad it is" he grinned.
Bess took a sip and screwed her face up, it was foul, the worst whiskey she'd ever tasted. She opened her eyes and looked at Doc who smiled smugly back at her. They both laughed.
Doc's look became serious and he stared down at his glass a moment before meeting her eyes.
"When you were sick," he began. His hair threatened to flop into his eyes and he pushed it back, "you talked a lot…" He paused and glanced at her.
Bess smiled, a little amused, "An' what did I say?"
Doc looked at her, his blue eyes meeting hers. "About your daddy."
Bess stared at him dumbfounded, her mouth agape. She quickly tried to regain herself.
"Huh," she scoffed, "I did huh?" She took a drink, actually glad of the foul taste; it distracted her for a moment.
"I ain't gonna talk about it unless you want..."
"I don't" Bess said flatly, not letting him finish.
Doc looked down at his glass and then at her once more.
"I'm sorry Bess," he whispered, his eyes taking in her features, "that things ain't worked out for you."
Bess smiled sadly but her heart felt warmed by his words. "Well," she said as brightly as she could, "I only got myself to blame for that."
Doc shook his head and his hair fell into his eyes, he pushed it back.
"You should'a had a better life."
Bess studied him, unsure what to say. Finally she smiled.
"I'll be just fine." She paused, "Don't you worry about me Doc."
Doc tried to smile but it was a little pained as though he did not believe her. He reached out and covered her hand with his own.
"I know what it's like to get caught up in the moment."
Bess knew he spoke of White Oaks and Jane.
Bess nodded, hoping that was enough to reassure him, she could offer him no more in her current state.
Doc squeezed her hand. "You're so young Bess, an' well," he sipped a little of his drink, "I was thinkin', maybe you should come with me East, stay with Yen and me." He smiled warmly, "Get a new start." He paused, "We'll spend a month in Fort Sumner and then ride away from New Mexico, bounty hunters, and all this god damn death."
Bess bit her lip, wishing she could say yes, but slowly, she shook her head.
"I'm more than grateful for the offer Doc, I really am… but I can't."
Doc furrowed his brow.
"Why? What ya got here Bess, apart from bad memories?"
Bess lowered her gaze, knowing him to be right, but still… the tiny part of her that hoped would not die and she could not leave.
Doc's hand covered hers again and Bess looked up, meeting his gaze.
"Don't stay for him Bess, please." He paused, "You'll just carry on getting' hurt."
Bess bit her lip once more.
"It just don't feel right to go Doc."
Doc seemed like he was going to argue but his features relaxed and he gave her a half smile.
"Well my offer will always stand."
Bess smiled at him, her eyes conveying her thankfulness.
"Thanks." She paused, "Does Billy know you're leavin'?"
Doc rubbed the back of his neck. "Not yet."
Bess looked at him, unsure by his sudden change in mood.
"You're not goin' to tell him, are you?" she said quietly.
Doc met her gaze. "Bess, I'm tired, tired of this life, of runnin' and… him." He sipped some more of his drink as if needing the liquid to continue. "I want a wife, children… a normal family." He paused, "All I'm gonna get if I stay is a pine box and an early grave."
Bess stared at him, for the first time seeing not the gunfighter she knew but the man who wanted peace.
She smiled, "I understand Doc, I'd want that too."
Doc smiled and nodded as if silently telling her she could have it, if she went with him.
A door ahead of them opened and a Dove stepped out. She was pretty, in her mid- twenties, and by the look of her figure she ate well and often. Bess watched her as she got a bottle from behind the bar and laughed sweetly at something the bartender said. It reminded Bess of Jane, and Bess was surprised to find she was thinking of her fondly and whether she was alright.
The Dove turned and began to make her way back to the room but before she reached it an arm was slung around her neck and she was pulled half out of sight into a kiss. Bess smiled as the Dove laughed, she pulled the man forward out into the bar, they were both in high spirits. Bess' smile dropped and a cold feeling snaked quickly up and through her body, sending the fine hairs on the back of her neck on end. It was Billy's arm that was draped around the Dove and Billy who had just come out of her bed chamber.
Doc's expression dropped just as Bess' smile had and he looked back at Bess, as if waiting for something awful to happen. Bess managed to glance at him and realised he was concerned as to what her actions would be. Slowly she tore her gaze away from the scene before her and focused on her drink. She reached out her hand and, her fingers trembling, she picked up the glass and downed the liquid in one go. Doc continued to stare at her as if waiting for her to run… or worse.
Instead Bess sat as calmly as she had been just a few moments ago.
Billy and the Dove had not noticed anyone about them, too wrapped up in themselves, and soon the Dove had pulled him back into her room, amid promises of a pleasurable time. The door shut behind them, to Bess' ears the sound was a sickening thud.
Doc's eyes were drawn to the sound but he soon turned back to Bess, Bess' eyes were fixed upon her empty glass.
"Bess?" he ventured.
Bess' eyes fluttered as she tried to regain her composure and a single tear slid down her cheek.
"I'm just fine Doc" she managed.
Doc placed his hand over hers once more and Bess found no amount of trying would hold back her tears.
She tried to stifle a sob as Doc got up from his seat and crouched before her, wrapping his arms around her shuddering frame. She clutched at his jacket, lost in the sorrow as she sobbed bitterly.
Finally her tears abated enough for her to regain herself and she pushed herself away from Doc, wiping at her eyes with her palm.
"I'm okay" she croaked. It was a lie; anyone could tell that by the look on her face, it was heartbreaking.
She gritted her teeth and told herself she deserved this, it was her punishment. She wanted the stars and instead the sky had fallen on top of her.
She took a deep breath, trying to make herself accept the fact that she had lost him, it was hard and the pain felt as if it were physical.
"I need to rest" she stated, getting to her feet. There was no pain this time as her foot touched the ground, or at least she did not feel it.
Doc caught her hand.
"Bess..."
"I'm fine, really, I'm okay." She smiled weakly, the effort near impossible.
She glanced down at the ring on her finger and slowly slipped it off. It glinted slightly in the sunlight that invaded the saloon. She laid it gently upon the table, touched it once and then turned, willing her feet forward and trying her hardest to not give in to the urge to fall to her knees and scream.
--
Billy whistled off-key as he dealt the cards out to himself and Doc.
"You seem in a good mood" Doc said sourly.
Billy grinned, "That I am, we're leaving next week, an' I'm getting' tired of this place." He paused and his eyes glinted, "I wanna go back home."
"Fort Sumner ain't gonna be safe Billy" Doc stated, picking up his cards.
"Sumner's always safe Doc" Billy replied matter-of-factly, and picked up his own cards, his blue eyes studying them. "Maybe they stopped looking anyhow." He grinned cheekily and Doc sighed.
"I doubt it."
They played a few hands as they drank in near silence. Half way through their fourth game the pretty Dove Doc had seen two days before came over and draped her arms around Billy's shoulders. She whispered something into his ear; Billy smirked and brought her hand to his lips, kissing it quickly before beating Doc at cards once more.
Doc glanced at him distastefully.
"Hell Doc," Billy said with a grin, seeing his friend's expression, "don't be sore cause I keep beatin' ya." He laughed and the Dove laughed with him.
Doc placed the rest of the cards he still held down upon the table and shook his head slightly.
"That ain't the reason Billy."
Billy looked at him questioningly.
"Here" Doc said. He reached into his breast pocket and pushed something across the table towards Billy; it made a soft metallic scraping noise as he slid it over. Doc moved his palm revealing a small gold ring.
Billy stared down at it for a moment.
"Don't try and tell me it ain't what it looks like, I saw the engravin'" Doc stated, putting a cigarette between his lips and lighting it. He took a long drag and blew out a cloud of smoke as Billy watched him, his eyes flashing a slight warning.
"You done wrong" Doc stated, giving his friend a knowing look.
Billy furrowed his brow, anger tingeing the corners of his lips, "She done me wrong."
Doc brought his fist down upon the table, rattling the glasses.
"God dammit Billy, she's your wife!" Doc hissed.
Billy leaned back in his chair his body casual but his eyes dangerous, he remained silent.
"Does that mean nothin' to you?" Doc hissed.
The Dove seemed to sense the tension and potential danger in the situation and quickly retreated to the bar.
Billy stared at Doc a moment. "She broke our vows." He sounded a little childish.
Doc glared at him, his anger rising.
"She's seventeen! You save her, marry her… claim to fargin' love her!" He sat back in his chair as if regaining himself from the anger. He took another long drag and exhaled "What are ya doin'?" Doc said studying the younger man before him.
Billy regarded his friend with a cold expression.
"Think Billy," Doc said, his voice had now fully regained its smooth calmness, "don't ya think all this death and danger might make any girl lose her head."
Billy remained silent.
"I seen the way you treat her sometimes, like your god damn horse..." Doc sensed that these words were ill chosen and bowed his head, knowing if he carried on Billy would lose his temper.
He looked back at Billy his gaze near pleading. "She regrets what she did Billy; you can't say you never made mistakes."
"Careful Doc..." Billy's voice was icy.
Doc became silent, sensing Billy's mood and not wishing to rile him further.
Billy sighed, "She gave you this?" he asked, indicating to the ring.
Doc shook his head. "She left it behind after seein' you with that Dove."
Billy's head snapped up, his eyes meeting Doc's.
"Yeah she saw," Doc stated dryly, "two days back."
Billy looked down at the ring.
"She thinks it's over…" Doc paused, not really wishing to speak of Bess' feelings, it was not his place. "I know you ain't happy…" he ventured. "You were happy with her and I think you were yourself, not the front you put up for everyone."
Billy flinched as if the words had struck him but he did not look up, his face bore a serious pout.
Doc rose from his seat and let out a heavy sigh.
"I'll see ya tomorrow" he said, and without looking back he made his way out of the saloon.
Billy picked up the ring carefully and placed it into his pocket.
It was mere moments before the Dove was back to hovering beside him. She slipped her arm about his neck and kissed his cheek. Billy slowly yet forcefully removed her arm and gestured for her to leave him be.
