It had to happen eventually. I'm not sorry.

Okay, maybe I'm a little sorry.


Bonus Episode: Unnecessary Tags (AM)

"Look we are on TV!" Neptune exclaimed.

"We are always on TV." Noire replied with a shrug. It came with the job description.

They were sitting in front of a TV in Planeptune Tower's living room.

"Someone sat down on the replay button at Nepstation! They replayed our wedding like a gajlllion times." And that was still an understatement. Nep put her arms behind her head and whistled. "They really got my hot bod from all the right angles in that fancy dress~"

Purple Heart was currently shown on screen holding a flower bouquet and wearing a gorgeous dress. The official wedding had been a spectacular event. An open air ceremony with all news channels in the world present.

"…" Noire had no way to deny Neptune's words. That dress looked bombastic on Purple Heart. She had to gulp every time she saw the recording.

"You see something you like, my honey?" Neptune grinned knowingly and poked Noire's defenseless side.

"S-stop calling me that. It just sounds silly coming out of your mouth." Noire huffed and flicked Neptune's poking fingers away.

"Neppu?! We are tied by the rings of fate now! You can't deny the truth; I even got the certificate nailed to the ceiling above my bed!"

"Why would you do that?!"

"So I can go to sleep every night knowing I didn't just dream it." Nep said smoothly and leaned her arm on Noire's shoulder.

"All of Gamindustri would be under a huge hallucination then." She said with one closed eye and pushed the off button on the remote. The TV shut off in the middle of the wedding speech.

"But but! Spouses gotta give each other pet names! It must be in the instruction leaflet or whatever." Nep brought back the previous topic.

"You already keep calling me by this butchered version of my name, don't you?" Noire argued.

"Nowa is Nowa, that's just normal."

"Nothing is normal about that! It's just two syllables, don't get them wrong idiot!"

"You never call me anything… special." Neptune pouted. She retracted her arm and turned away.

Noire felt helpless all of a sudden and raised her hands indecisively.

"I-it's not like I am doing it on purpose because I am t-too embarrassed or anything!" She stuttered.

"D-a-r-l-i-n-g~" Neptune sang the letters.

"….you can't be serious." Noire covered her face with her right hand.

"It's that or dearest sweetheart soulmate hunhun sugarplum!"

Noire shook her head vehemently. She couldn't say it!

"I got a new one for you! How about: Magical Noirina?"

"Please stop it darling!" Noire screamed in the hopes to drown out the horror!

"Ohoho~" Nep snickered into her hand.

"W-what?" A red-faced Noire inquired.

"That sounds totally wrong coming from you!" She burst into laughter.

"Why youuuuu!" Noire pushed Neptune down and they playfully wrestled for a while.

Eventually they were lying flat on the couch in exhaustion. But being pressed against each other while recovering was rather pleasing too.

"Is something wrong?" Noire asked while they just listened to the birds outside the Basilicom.

"Wha-" Neptune was caught off-guard.

"Don't act so surprised. A wife always knows how her spouse feels… i-it's only natural." Noire said and flicked her twintails aside.

"Nowa has leveled up her sensitive soul perk?" Nep looked actually shocked.

"I've always been sensitive! Wait no, I mean I always knew how to be sensible-"

"My sensitive honey ~" Neptune teased.

"Stop distracting." Noire pinched Nep's cheek.

"Owowow! Domestic violence!" The purple haired wife tapped out immediately.

"You fought with Histoire, right?"

"Neppu?!" Twice now. She really was out of it today.

"I saw her sulking in the office when I passed by." Noire sighed and rose up on the couch. She pulled Neptune up by her hood. "Admit it. You skipped work again."

"That's assassination of character! Histy and I never would have a real fight over some boring paperwork." She crossed her arms.

"That boring work is your job you know?" Noire rubbed her temples. "Then why did you fight?"

"It wasn't… a real battle…" She was still dodging.

"I don't care whether it was a practice match or an all-out war. Just tell me what happened." She didn't like to see those two on bad terms.

"It was a total overreaction on Histy's side. I swear on my last pudding!" Nep stared Noire down.

"That means a lot to you."

"Yup!"

"Or it would if you hadn't already eaten it." Noire shrugged with a cold smile.

"Geh!?"

"Nepgear asked me if we wanted any snacks. When she went through the fridge she mentioned that all the pudding was gone." Noire explained triumphantly.

"Sweet Nep Jr., how could you backstab me so?!"

"Leaving that aside, that means it was something worth getting angry over."

"Pah!" Nep was cornered now so she gave up. Instead of retreating she pushed all the way back immediately. "I asked if we could grow [classified] with Share energy."

"….." Noire's face turned to stone.

"She was soooo hysterical." Neptune shrugged.

"Aababa…. Y-you… what?" Noire's throat was so dry she could barely talk.

"Don't act as if you never thought about it before." Nep said with a sardonic grin. "As if you didn't wanna know who would be the pitcher and who the catcher-"

"STOP!" Noire pushed her hands into Neptune's face to silence her. "H-Histoire was right to shame you! H-how crude! Who would want something like that?!"

"I mean toys are fine too, it was just a thought-"

"AHHHH! Stupidtune!" Noire jumped off the couch and ran out of the room at crazy speeds. She was beet red.

"Ehhh?! That's not the kind of pet name I wanted!" Nep looked after her disappearing wife with white eyes.

Noire was simply too pure for this world.


Nepgear walked towards the living room while humming. She had prepared something special for her sisters. Hopefully they would like it!

Just as she turned to face the door it was suddenly flung open and Noire ran past her! She accidentally brushed against Nepgear's shoulder and made her lose balance on the tray.

"I hate you Stupidtune!" Noire yelled and rushed down the stairs.

Nepgear was so in shock that she didn't immediately notice the felled chiffon cake on the floor. But when she did her mouth turned square-shaped.

All that work wasted on the floor!

She shakingly scooped it up and put it back on the tray. At least the soda hadn't spilled from the glasses somehow.

"Waaaaait Nowaaaa! We don't need to skip so many levels! We can do it at your paaaace!" And that's when Neptune burst out of the living room as well and basically tackled Nepgear out of the way.

"Gyaaah?!" Nepgear was flung out of the way.

"Sorry Nep Jr., honeymoon emergency!" She apologized with one raised hand, but didn't even stop her sprint towards Noire's descending back.

Nepgear landed on her butt and watched as the soda inevitably spilt all over her chiffon cake.


"Just what were they doing?" Uni sighed as she patted Nepgear's desolate back.

Planeptune's CPU candidate was depressed. She was facing the ruined cake on the kitchen counter.

"I wanted to bring cake to Histy and Sis so they could make up." She mumbled. Clearly she had no idea what they had fought over, but apparently Noire was now in on it as well.

"…" Uni stayed quiet for a while and watched her girlfriend. Then she suddenly turned determined.

"Huh? S-stop it Uni, it's all gross now!" Nepgear snapped out of her down state when she saw Uni put a fork into the mushy chiffon cake.

"You put so much effort into it…" Uni brought the soggy piece to her mouth and ate it without regrets. "I love Nepgear's baked stuff." She said without even twisting her face!

"U-u-uniiii!" Nepgear was moved to tears and hugged her with all her strength.

"H-hey! If you crush me like that I will drop the cake again!" She complained to hide her embarrassment.

"I will make a new one just for you!" She sniffled and then smiled widely.

"Maybe soda flavor isn't so bad with chiffon actually." Uni uttered thoughtfully between bites.

"You want to make a new creation again?" Nepgear was positively excited. They hadn't done something like that ever since they made the specialty together that combined Planeptune's pudding and Lastation's dark chocolate. The recipe had become somewhat famous on the net by now. It was especially popular after the wedding of the CPUs. A symbol that brought the two nations closer together.

"I'm not sure this one's going to be a hit." Uni chuckled. But she finished the cake anyway.


A bit later they moved to Gear's room and played a few games together.

"Big sis is still not back." Uni looked at the clock. It had become rather late.

"Maybe they are arguing somewhere right now." Nepgear put the controller down with a sad expression.

"Just what was that about anyway?" Uni played with her hair.

"I'm not entirely sure. I overheard Histy and Sis arguing before, but it didn't make much sense."

"Really? What did you pick up?" Now Uni was curious.

"I only heard them say 'pregnant' and 'artificial [classified]." Nepgear innocently explained with a finger on her chin.

Uni spat out her soda with the force of a typhoon.

"G…th… they… preg-?!" She was coughing as she tried to force out the words.

"Deep breaths." Nepgear patted her back and wiped soda with a handkerchief.

"T-they want to have kids already?" Uni finally recovered her voice. They weren't ready for that yet! Uni wasn't ready to be an aunt!

"I am not sure. I don't think that was the point somehow." She shook her head softly.

"I-is that even possible… for CPUs to have children?" Uni played with her thumbs and shut the console down to distract herself.

"I think it should be possible with sufficient Share power." Nepgear nodded. Her technical interest had been awakened. "To make sure it's a child of the two CPUs in question we would need to ascertain it is a transfer of Share DNA somehow. So I could build a tube that shoots the energy straight to the core of the mother's..."

Uni pushed her finger so hard against the off button that the console broke into two.

"…for maximum efficiency we could strap it to the other party's body somehow. Maybe around the waist area…"

While rapidly raising her head Uni banged it against the desk close-by, which promptly made its legs burst to pieces.

"…going into an HDD state would increase the chance of success immensely. It has to be a strong burst of Shares directly transferred from one body into the other after all…"

Without control over her movements Uni held her ears shut and rolled all over the floor.

"…insertion might be painful, so we should make sure it will be a smooth entry-"

"STOOOOP!" Nepgear's in-depth analyses was giving Uni all kinds of improper thoughts! She stood up and urged her to stop with both hands.

"Eh? You don't want to make children?" Nepgear looked up to her with a tilted head. Those innocent infinitely cute eyes were looking at her without a clue.

POOF.

Uni's brain just went bye-bye.

"Nepgear you duuuummmyyyyy!" She ran out of the room teary-eyed and with hands on her face.

"Not you too!" She stretched out her hand after her in shock.

Uni was too pure for this den of madness!

FIN