|* Jenny, are you still mad at me? ó_ò I had to leave ... I know this chapter isn't the perfect to apologize - but you're still my best friend and I love you!
Hey, everybody else!
This chapter is ... well I can't say that I like it very much. As I read it after I finished it, I was like - whaat and why? but since I wrote it down - let's see how to manage it again!
x aida *|
Kurt is staring out of the window.
You didn't do anything evil! You just spent some time with your best friend.
Intently, Blaine watches how Kurt averts his gaze.
"You found very quickly a replacement for me," he mumbles, while his voice sounds reproachful.
This isn't happening right now.
Kurt closes his eyes and lets out a heavy sigh.
As he opens them again, Blaine still stands in the door frame, angry but teary-eyed. His arms are crossed and Kurt realizes that he waits for Kurt to do something. Kurt looks around and fetches his notebook. He takes a pen and wants to write.
But what?
He knows that Michelle is just a friend.
Should I say sorry?
But I didn't do anything wrong ...
I don't get your point. We just hung out.
Blaine rolls his eyes and laughs. This expression sets Kurt in hysterics.
He laughs at me.
"You know how I feel about her. And you know that -"
Blaine walks to Kurt and tries to calm down.
"You know that I don't trust her."
Kurt shakes his head and writes into his book.
That doesn't matter. It always takes two to do that and you can trust ME.
Hesitantly, Blaine guides his gaze away from Kurt's note, to his face.
"I can?"
Badly hurt, Kurt drops his gaze and bursts into tears. His shoulders are trembling and he hopes that Blaine just bends to him and hug him. That he would stroke his back and say 'sorry'. But he does none of those things.
"It almost seems to me, that you invited her, because you knew what it would do to me."
Eagerly, Kurt shakes his head.
I needed someone.
"You wanted to revenge you on me for what I said this morning."
Kurt's stomach starts aching again.
I would never hurt you deliberately ...
"Since when was she here? I bet since I left. And what did you both do, the whole day?"
He thinks about the laptop which is on the bed. On-screen, one can see the font 'for Blaine'.
"Did you just lay on the bed and snuggled a bit, what I saw ... or -"
Now, Kurt stands up, scribbling something.
How can you think so badly of me?
Blaine shrugs his shoulders.
"I don't know. Until now I also thought that this wasn't possible."
Again, Kurt drops his gaze, still sobbing.
Didn't want to hurt you ...
I was lonely and heartbroken.
And where have you been the whole day?
Who comforted you?
Sighing, Blaine turns around and steps to the window.
"Silly me! I thought -"
Kurt looks up, heavy breathing. Blaine stares to the night sky - It got dark briskly.
"I thought ... maybe you would have prepared something for me."
Suddenly, Kurt regards the laptop, with the screen to the wall, so that Blaine can't see the font. Slowly, Kurt drops his gaze again.
You were also mean ... you still are. Why should I prepare something?
What about you? ... Just say sorry, then I'll show it you.
"And well, you prepared something. Not what I expected, but ... something very meaningful. I can't get that scene out of my mind."
Blaine blinks back his tears.
"Guess it just doesn't work between us," he whispers with a wobbly voice.
What?
In horror, Kurt looks up to his boyfriend.
What do you mean?
Blaine watches the note and sighs.
"I mean what I said."
Kurt only feels his pulse in every inch of his body and the pain in his stomach, while he writes something down. Nervously, Blaine watches him as he does so.
No matter what we're doing, I always have to wait until you wrote into that damn notebook.
But we can manage it again!
Blaine averts his gaze.
"I'm not convinced of that anymore," he whispers.
Kurt gasps for air and guides the pen across the paper, being watched by Blaine.
Take your time ...
You don't break up with me!?
Blaine sighs, turns away and hears how Kurt is writing.
"You wanna know what really pisses me off? I always have to wait for you. Wait, until you wrote something down. And in most cases the note isn't helpful for the situation, so that I have to sit there and watch every of your expressions, in order to see whether you are happy or sad ..."
Angrily, he turns to Kurt again, who stares at Blaine with widened eyes.
"When it would be helpful to have your opinion you don't write it and when it's inappropriate you do. That damn notebook ..."
Blaine takes it away from Kurt, rips out a few pages and rips those apart. Then he throws the book away.
My notebook.
The only way to express myself.
"I thought I became good in watching your movements and reading your mind ... and thinking of today ... first you were bitchy, then you slapped me, we had a dispute - but I never thought that you would be that cruel and lie in bed with that whore ... just to hurt me. And I call her whore as often as I want to!"
Blaine doesn't recognize that Kurt is trembling.
"Maybe I ... I was in love with another person."
Kurt stares into the distance and hears Blaine's voice like he'd be underwater and Blaine far away.
"I guess I was in love with the person I saw in you, or I thought I would see ... But I don't see that person any longer."
Suddenly Blaine turns around and leaves the room, followed by the fearful and tear-streaked Kurt.
"I don't want you to run after me! I'm serious. It's over!"
Over?
Blaine runs down the stairs, so Kurt also starts to walk down, hesitantly.
"No!"
Blaine turns around. His angry expression gives Kurt another stitch into his stomach.
"We're done!"
He turns to the door and leaves.
