The Art of Conversation and Silent Words
~ Some things are more than what you say, they're what you do. Some things you say because there's no other choice. (Shonda Rhimes)
Brooke slowly opened her eyes to the sunlight that bathed them through the window, turning away from the light as she snuggled closer to her fiancé's still sleeping form. Fiancé. For so long she never thought she'd have that, the promise of a future with the only man she'd ever really loved. It still felt unreal to her, like some dream she'd conjured up on her own but as she looked around at what used to be her old bedroom as a teen and the slumbering blonde beside her, she knew she hadn't made it up.
"Good morning," Lucas smiled groggily, his squinty blue eyes adjusting to the light before gazing up at her lovingly. "How'd you sleep?"
"Like a baby," she leaned over to kiss him softly on the lips, lingering to suck on his bottom lip gently before murmuring against his lips, "Good morning fiancé." She sat up, grinning happily as she held her left hand up and admired her ring as it glistened in the sunlight. "I love the sound of that."
"So do I," he sat up as well, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer. "I hope you're not disappointed about the ring."
"Lucas, it's beautiful." She turned to look at him. "And red's always been our color," her eyes looked at him curiously. "What's there to be disappointed about?"
Lucas breathed out deeply, hoping she really was as pleased with it as she said. "I know that you remember some things that were said to you in the hospital and I know you said you remember my mom talking to you," he watched her nod. "My mom told me she mentioned during one of her visits…"
"Oh," she interrupted, realization dawning on her. "This is about Karen telling me she wanted you to give me Keith's ring. Luke, its okay," she shook her head. "I understand if she doesn't want to part with it."
"It's not that," he shook his head as well. "If I were going to give my Uncle Keith's ring to anyone, it would be you. He loved you so much and so does my mom…"
"Luke, you don't have to explain." Brooke reached over to take his hand.
"I want to," he sighed before his deep blue eyes meet her hazel green. "I had two reasons for giving you this ring. You see, when I jumped into other relationships, it was like I was trying to recreate someone else's story: Whitey and Camilla's, even Nathan and Haley's at times. I didn't want that for us, I didn't want to recreate my mom's and Keith's love story. I wanted us to have our own and a ring to represent that." He paused briefly. "And I thought about Lily. I had Keith to raise me and I got to witness them together; I got to be a part of the love he shared with my mom. I got so much from them and I thought Lily should have something too."
She inhaled deeply, her dimples in full force as she smiled softly. "I think Lily should have the ring too, she deserves to have that and I think Keith would be happy with that too."
"I do too," he nodded. "And I think you and I deserve our own story. I don't want to be anyone else, not with you; I just want to be…"
"Brucas," she tilted her head to the side, her eyes lighting up as he smiled at her interruption.
He laughed. "Where do you come up with these names Crazy Girl?"
"What?" her face dropped as she gave a small pout. "You don't like it?"
"No," he shook his head in mock seriousness before a wide grin took over his features. "I love it," he cupped her cheek. "I love you." He brought his lips to hers in a deep kiss.
"I love you too," she said once they parted. "But don't you have to meet Nathan and I'm supposed to..."
He put a finger over her mouth, halting her words. "The rest of the world can wait for a little while, at least an hour," he replied with a grin before placing kisses down her neck. "And we've got an hour." He took her giggle as a yes when his mouth reached a sensitive spot just under her collarbone, leaning her back before his mouth sought hers in a heated kiss.
Peyton walked down the street, the breeze blowing through her hair as she made her way towards her favorite coffee spot now that Karen's Café was gone. Her brisk walk came to an abrupt halt when she saw the man sitting at one of the tables outside.
"Good morning to you too Peyton," Julian grinned up at her.
"Wow, you're just ubiquitous," she huffed. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"I am having breakfast," he answered in a smug tone. "It is the most important meal of the day."
"Not right here," she pointed at his table. "I mean what are you doing here," she motioned with her arms all around her, "in Tree Hill?"
"I thought I'd made that clear the other night," he replied, settling back into his chair. "I'm here to make a movie." He shrugged. "Why don't you join me?" He looked around. "You seem to be causing a scene."
Peyton looked around at the looky-loos before rolling here eyes and sitting in the chair across from him, crossing her arms over her chest. "If this is just some twisted plan to get me back by using Lucas' movie, it's not going to work."
"Peyton, you know me better than that." He gave a dark chuckle. "I've never stake my reputation and career on making a movie just to get some girl's attention, no matter how hot she is, especially not over the book we broke up over."
"We broke up over a lot more than a book," she spat out.
"What does it matter to you anyways," Julian shrugged. "I thought Lucas had moved on to his other lead unless I was mistaking and you're back together."
"I'm not with Lucas," she replied. "I'm with Jake."
"Jake?" He was silent for a moment before he began to laugh. "Oh this is rich, the indie album guy who's CD you bought every time you came across it just like with Lucas' book." He shook his head. "Tell me something Peyton; do you buy all of my movies too over and over?"
"Go to hell Julian!" she stood up, no longer caring that there were people around.
"Look, I'm sorry." He held his hands up in the air in surrender, giving her the puppy dog eyes and the grin that used to make her melt. "I'm really just here to make a movie."
"That better be all your after here Julian, I mean it." She pointed her finger at him. "Whatever other reasons, whatever you're up to, just stop." Her green eyes looked at him in pleading and he seemed to physically recoil from the look even though he hadn't made a move.
"Peyton," his eyes were now soft, devoid of the humor they held only moments before.
She just shook her head, stopping him from saying anything else before she turned away from him and stormed off.
Owen stood in the doorway, gazing at his daughter and her mother as they slept. He'd never imagined himself as the kind of guy who'd have a family, who could actually handle having one, but as he looked at their two sleeping forms he suddenly wanted to be that for them; a family man. He almost chuckled out loud at the thought. A child had scared him away from Brooke and another child had brought him closer to Rachel. The funny thing was that it was Brooke who'd been right all along, that it was his past that could make him a good father. It was ironic now that he'd discovered that, he was faced with the fact that he may not have the chance to be that father.
"Owen," Rachel blinked a few times before running her hands over her face, seemingly wiping away the sleep.
"Hey," he smiled. "I was just watching the two of you sleep…"
"I understand," she whispered before kissing her daughter softly on the forehead and crawling out of bed. "Let's not wake her," she took his hand as she led him out of the bedroom, leaving the door ajar as she plopped down at the top of the stairs. "I couldn't bring myself to leave her last night; I keep thinking what if tomorrow is our last night with her."
"That's not going to happen Rach," he was surprised at how confidant his words sounded given the thoughts that had been running through his mind before she woke up. "It's just a temporary custody hearing."
"Where she could go back to my aunt," her chestnut eyes looked up at him, her head shaking in frustration. "That bitch is not getting my daughter again. I'll run if I have to Morello."
"You won't have to," he countered, sitting down next to her and taking one of her hands within his own. "You and me, we're going to win this together."
She sighed. "But…"
"No buts Rachel," he interrupted, his voice firm. "I know I wasn't there for you then but I am now. We're going to fight this together and if by some chance your crazy aunt gets temporary custody, we'll fight and get her back permanently, I promise. Ori belongs with us," he gave her a small smile. "The judge will see that. And if all else fails," he shrugged nonchalantly, "we'll run right?"
She scoffed, knowing he wasn't serious about the last part but appreciative for him saying it nonetheless. "Thank you," she said softly. "I really don't think I could do this without you."
"You'll never have to," he wrapped his arms around her. "Come here," he pulled her closer as she snuggled into him, placing a soft kiss near her hairline. "We'll get through this."
Haley practically ran up the stairs to Tric. She'd been thinking about her album being released all night and could barely sleep because of the anticipation. Part of her was nervous to share her music again. She'd changed quite a bit over the years and she wondered if people still felt what she had to say was relevant and if there was still a place for her kind of music and genre. Yet even through the nerves she was excited about pursuing her dreams once again and re-finding a part of her voice that she'd lost some where along the way.
She practically bounced into the office of Red Bedroom Records, feeling some of Brooke's personality had rubbed off on her but deadpanned when she saw it empty and dark, the smile falling from her face. She looked around and noticed there were still messages on the answering machine, signaling that Peyton had most likely not made it in.
"Hi Haley," Mia waved from the doorway as the brunette turned around. "I was waiting to see when you'd show up; Peyton gave me a call and said she wasn't feeling well."
"Oh," Haley forced a small smile but it didn't reach her eyes.
"Disappointed huh?" she said as she made her way to the desk, turing on the lights as she went. "If it's any consolation, she sounded really bad."
Haley nodded.
"Sorry if I'm not that great of a fill in," she shrugged.
"Oh no, it's not that." Haley said. "I couldn't sleep and I expected Peyton to be here but I'm glad you are. It's just during the recording of this album, there were times when I just wanted to give up but she didn't let me; it just feels incomplete without Peyton."
"I understand," Mia walked over to the computer and began typing. "But I think I have something that'll cheer you up," she turned the screen towards her friend. "Take a look at these numbers."
"Oh my God," Haley's eyes grew wide, her emotions bubbling over. "That can't be…"
"It entered the charts today at #28 Haley and the sales are still rising," Mia said excitedly.
"Oh my God!" she screamed as Mia came around and hugged her, both women jumping up and down like little kids. "I can't believe it," she couldn't stop the wide grin that had taken over her face.
"Well believe it Haley James-Scott," Mia replied. "You just became a Rock Star again."
"Tell me again why we're doing this?" Nathan said as he searched through yet another box.
"Because I'm stuck at the shooting and I need to write it right for Uncle Keith," Lucas said before rubbing his hand against the back of his neck. "I guess I just need to know if there was something human about Dan."
"Of course there was," Nathan answered honestly. "But I think that part of him died long before he did. I mean," he paused, exhaling deeply, "there were times, moments I thought I saw glimpses of it but now I think it was just a ghost of the man he used to be or wanted to be a long time ago."
"I'm sorry," Lucas said as he turned towards his brother. "I know this must still be hard for you; he was your dad."
"He was your dad too," he shrugged.
"Yeah, but never the same way," Lucas replied. "I mean he started off being a real dad to you; he never really wanted that with me…"
"I'm sorry too Luke," he looked in his brother's eyes, seeing a different yet familiar kind of pain. "I still miss him sometimes, the ghost traces of the dad he was. I don't know if that makes sense."
"It does," Lucas nodded as he searched through another file while Nathan moved to the desk, both falling into another silent lull.
"Hey, there's a metal lock box in here." Nathan finally spoke again, placing it on top of the desk and blowing the dust of it.
"Is it locked?" Lucas put down the file he was looking through and came to stand by his brother.
"Not for long," Nathan smiled as he used two paperclips to rig the lock open. "There," he flipped the lid open.
Lucas squinted at him. "Do I want to know why you know how to do that?"
"What?" he held his hands up and then shrugged. "You know who I used to be better than anyone, sorry about some of that by the way." He laughed.
"Just some of it," Lucas shook his head. "What-is that…"
"It's you," Nathan said as he took out picture after picture. "It's like a Lucas box. There's newspaper clippings in here too, MVP?" He looked towards the blonde. "I didn't know you played football."
"That was junior high," Lucas's voice was soft.
"Did you know about this?" Nathan asked.
"I saw it once before but…" he shook his head, trailing off. "That's an article on my book, and another one, and… wow…"
"Yeah," the brunette agreed, "wow." He looked up at his brother's now cloudy eyes. "Are you alright man?"
"Yeah," he shook his head. "I saw this once before but it was before the whole ledger thing; I didn't think he was still… collecting things."
"The ghost glimpses," Nathan said solemnly.
"Yeah," Lucas looked down at the drawer the box had come out of, picking up a small book and flipping through it. "It's a journal."
Nathan sighed heavily. "I guess we found what you were looking for."
"Yeah," Lucas said, no longer sure he wanted to find it. "I guess we did."
"Something smells good," Skills stood near the counter, watching as Deb stirred the mayonnaise mixture into the cubed potatoes and eggs. "Mmm," he wrapped his arms around her from behind before placing a soft kiss on her jaw line and nuzzling into her neck. "The food doesn't smell bad either."
She gave a throaty laugh before pushing him back. "Don't distract me; your parents are going to be here in a half an hour and I'm still finishing up." She turned around in his arms. "Did you straighten up the living room?"
"You mean the one you cleaned twice after we cleaned it yesterday?" his brows lifted in disbelief before nodding at the look she sent him. "Yes," he placed a soft kiss on her lips. "Would you stop worrying?"
"They weren't exactly pleased when you told them you were dating me and your mom looked like she was having a coronary when we told them about the baby," she shook her head. "And now look what we're springing on them."
"Hey, don't worry." He rubbed her arms up and down. "I know they were expecting this after we announced we were having a baby."
"Really?" she pulled back, raising her eyebrows incredulously. "They were expecting their only son to marry a grandmother?"
"A nanny," he corrected jovially.
"Antwon, I'm serious." Deb shook her head. "They're going to hate me more than they already do. I don't know how I let you convince me eloping was a good idea, although I don't know if that's a wedding they'd even want to come to."
He laughed. "You are so hot when you're nervous."
"This isn't funny," she shook her head.
"It kind of is," Skills replied. "Look, I don't care what anyone else has to say about this or us…"
"They're your family," she interrupted.
"You and our baby girl," he placed his hand on her stomach. "You are my family now so relax; stop trippin' and everything will be okay."
She nodded. "I hope you're right," she turned to scoop up some of the potato salad on the spoon. "Taste this?"
He leaned over and accepted it. "Damn, that's good."
"Well at least the food will be good," she shrugged as he stepped back. "Whoa," she grabbed the counter, feeling a little lightheaded.
"You okay?" he asked concerned, rushing to her side.
"I think it's just the heat from the stove," she said nonchalantly.
His chocolate eyes were not convinced. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah," she smiled easily before placing a soft kiss on his lips, tuning in his embrace at the sound of the doorbell. "Looks like our guests are here," she sighed.
"Let's go get 'em tiger," he laughed before taking her hand and walking towards the door.
Peyton sat in the dimly lit living room of her new beach house, flipping through the scrap book as tears rolled down her face. After the run in with Julian and given the anniversary it feel on, she just couldn't deal with being at work so she came home and sat, only taking a moment to text Brooke before she turned off her phone.
"Peyton, are you done yet?" Julian called from the other room. "We need to leave soon."
"I can't get my suitcase closed," she stood over the bulky bag, looking down at it in defeat. "Maybe I should just meet you there; I don't want to make you late."
"Don't be ridiculous," he shook his head as he walked into the room, making his way to the suitcase. After shoving things around in it, he found the item that kept getting in the way of the zipper. "Well, it looks like I found the culprit." He held the book in question up.
"Julian," she sighed.
"Exactly how many times are you going to read this stupid book?" he threw it on the floor. "I'm sure you should have it memorized by now."
"I just thought I could read it on the plane," she said, her voice exasperated.
"If that were true you would have put it in your carry-on," he shook his head in frustration. "I think you were trying to start a fight so you wouldn't have to go."
"I never said I didn't want to go," the blonde looked up at him, shaking her head in frustration. Things had been tense between them the last two months and she really didn't want to have another fight.
"You didn't have to," Julian replied, his voice elevating. "What were you going to do Peyton, play some indie boy on the way to the airport too just to piss me off?"
"His name is Jake," she corrected, "And of course not."
"I don't care what the hell his name is," Julian yelled. "What I care about is the fact that you can support your ex's books or music but you can't support your current boyfriend's work. I know you're upset but don't you think it's time you…"
"Don't you dare say get over it!" she screamed frantically. "I am doing the best I can here Julian, just because you didn't…"
"I don't want to hear it anymore Peyton, I'm tired of having this same argument with you," he interrupted her. "You know what, stay here and do what you have to do; just be gone by the time I'm back."
"Julian," her eyes began to fill with tears. "I'm sorry, look we can work this out."
"I'm sorry too; I'm sorry I couldn't make you stop being the saddest girl in the world," Julian's voice was now calm and solemn as he picked up his bag. "Goodbye Peyton." He turned towards the door.
"Julian wait," she watched as he stopped momentarily before turning the knob and walking out the door. "Julian," she cried as she fell to her knees on the floor, the tears running down her face as she clutched the bottom of her shirt.
"Peyton," a familiar female voice called out into the darkness. "Oh honey…"
"Brooke," her tear filled green eyes looked up at her best friend in desperation.
"It's okay; you don't have to say anything." Brooke hurriedly sat next to her, wrapping her arms around the skinny blonde and pulling her close. "Everything's going to be okay."
Nathan looked down at the woman in his arms, pulling her closer to him on the sofa as he lazily stroked her hair while her new CD played. It was her best work, he could tell that by the first song, and he found himself extremely proud of her and all her hard work. "You did great Hales."
"Thanks babe," she replied before turning up to look at him. "Hey," she looked up at him. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," he nodded. "I was just thinking…"
"About your dad," she supplied. "Nathan, it's okay to still be upset about losing him; it's okay to miss him."
"It's not like he was even a part of my life the last few years," he shook his head. "And it's been months Hales but sometimes it just feels like, I don't know, like he's everywhere."
"Nathan, he was your father your whole life," she exhaled deeply, looking up at him with nothing but compassion and love. "True, your father did some really awful things but he loved you Nate, as much as he knew how to love anyone. It's okay to miss the relationship you wanted to have and to mourn that loss," she reached her hand up to touch his cheek, "for that little boy you once were to mourn his dad."
His ocean of blue stared into her warm caramel depths for a moment, taking in the silent strength she offered. "I love you Haley," he spoke after a moment. "There were so many times in my life before I meet you that I felt so alone. I don't know if I tell you enough, but I am so grateful for you and for our son. You always know what I need to say."
"I know the feeling," she smiled softly. "I feel the same way; you and Jamie, you're my home." Haley leaned over to kiss him tenderly.
"Momma, Daddy," Jamie jumped up on the couch on top of them, squeezing in between. "I got it." He held the DVD case up proudly.
"Thanks squirt," she hit him on the nose before grabbing the case and getting up to turn off the radio, before heading to the DVD player. "You know most singers who just released an album would be having some sort of album release party in a club." She laughed as she stuck the DVD in the player. "Instead I'm about to curl up on the couch with my two favorite guys and Horton Hears A Who!"
"Because you're cool momma," Jamie beamed at her before leaning forward to grab the bowl of popcorn from the table.
"That's right," Nathan agreed. "Only the coolest Rock Stars know that Dr. Seuss is where it's at."
Haley laughed as she sunk back on the couch, lifting Jamie up on her lap as she snuggled closer to her husband. Nathan wrapped his arm around her and glanced down at his son who grinned excitedly as the previews started, happy that they were his home too.
Brooke walked outside to the deck, looking back through the glass door to see her friend sleeping on the couch. She'd sat there with her as she cried and cried, the emotions overwhelming the blonde and bringing her to a point in time where she'd cried for the better part of six months. Brooke had rushed to her side in LA then, almost a year before they decided to come back to Tree Hill.
She breathed in the night air, watching the waves crash against the shore from afar before pulling out her cell phone and dialing the well-known number.
"Hey Pretty Girl," a familiar male voice answered.
"Hey Luke," she smiled at the sound of his voice. "How'd it go; did you find what you were looking for?"
"I think so," he answered, looking out into the grassy distance. "I found a journal of Dan's and he kept that box I found at the dealership before…"
"The one that had pictures and stuff of you?" she asked, leaning against the railing.
"Yeah," he nodded. "Apparently he was still collecting…" he let the sentence trail off, unable or unwilling to try and explain it. Honestly, even he wasn't sure which one it was.
"Are you okay?" the concern in her voice was evident.
"I will be," he replied.
"I was going to stay here with Peyton," Brooke glanced back in at the slumbering blonde. "But if you need me…"
"I'll be okay," he replied. "Part of the reason I love you so much is that you're always there for the people you care about, saving us." He gave a small laugh. "Just don't forget to take care of yourself and tell Peyton I hope she feels better," he paused briefly, "but make sure she knows she can't have you forever."
"I'll be home first thing in the morning," she replied with a small laugh. "I promise."
"I love you," Lucas said. "Make sure you say goodnight to doodlebug and sweetpea for me."
"I will," she said as she rubbed her expanding belly. "I love you too Lucas; goodnight."
"Goodnight," he replied before hanging up the phone and sticking it back in his pocket.
Lucas walked slowly through the grass, the moisture from the dew dampening his shoes as he continued up the small hill clutching a small bundle of lilies. Once he reached his destination, he quickly cleared the few stray leaves from the top of the granite stone before placing the white flowers in front of it amongst the other bundle of colorful flowers and sitting down.
"Hey Uncle Keith," he spoke quietly into the breeze that suddenly washed over him. "It was beautiful day out today; the sun was shinning but it wasn't too hot, just the kind of day you use to take me out driving when I was little and then we'd go to the lake and spend all evening catching fireflies." He sighed. "I miss those days and I"m sad that Lily will never get to experience any of that with you. She's good though; really funny and full of energy. Mom's good too."
Lucas paused as his eyes once again focused on the date of his uncle's death. It had been the anniversary of the school shooting today. "I'm sorry I wasn't here earlier; I was with Brooke and then I was with Nate, trying to figure out how to write about that day." He exhaled deeply, "I wondered for a long time what went through Dan's mind and even after I've read the words, I still don't understand; how he thought the fire was you, how he justified doing what he did, how he wrote about the guilt yet pursued my mom with no remorse." He rubbed the back of his neck out of habit. "I wonder what you'd do if you were here, what you'd tell me to write about that moment." He looked up at the darkening sky, seeing the sparse twinkling lights slowly appearing in the night sky. "I will do you justice though, I promise you that." He nodded into the air before letting a few beats of silence pass.
"Oh, and I should tell you I asked Brooke to marry me," he smiled. "She's really amazing, I know you'd be proud of her too and of me for finally fighting for her. They say third times a charm right?" He shrugged as he felt a calming breeze blow across him, closing his eyes momentarily to take it in as he felt his uncle's spirit. "Thanks Uncle Keith, I promise to get it right this time." Lucas smiled as he looked up to the sky as if to say he missed him before he stood up, touching the stone gently and walking away.
Shonda Rhimes wrote, "At the end of the day, there are some things you just can't help but talk about. Some things we just don't want to hear, and some things we say because we can't be silent any longer. Some things are more than what you say, they're what you do. Some things you say because there's no other choice. Some things you keep to yourself. And not too often, but every now and then, some things simply speak for themselves."
