Chapter Twenty-Nine: By Any Means Necessary

When they regrouped at the SPK headquarters that night-with Gevanni and Rester now on guard duty at the hospital-the entire group was tired, frustrated, and in some cases, completely depressed.

"We didn't find anything," Aizawa said, "Shinta wasn't at his apartment-which was only to be expected-but the neighbors said he hasn't been there in the past several days, so it's likely that he cleared out altogether."

"And, taking that information into account, Naoki is the only person who can help us find him," Amity said, "As previously mentioned, Shinta will undoubtedly attempt to kill him before he can tell us anything. Therefore, at this point in the game, we have no time to waste. I am retracting my agreement with Matsuda."

"What?" Matsuda asked.

"I'm going to talk to Naoki now," Amity said, "If you refuse to cooperate with me, Lidner can and will restrain you. I am determined to make Naoki tell me what I need to know…by any means necessary."

"Well, then, I'm going with you," Matsuda said, "You'll probably kill him."

"Matsuda," Aizawa said.

"No!" Matsuda exploded, "I will not listen to you, so you might as well just shut it! You remember what L's version of interrogation was, right? Now tell me I can't go. Go ahead. Tell me."

Amity shook her head.

"I will not kill him, Matsuda. However, if it will please you, you may come along. I suspect that Naoki may be willing to tell you things he would not tell the rest of us."

The girl glanced over at Aizawa. In the end, he was responsible for Matsuda. If he said that the young man had to stay behind, then that was the end of it.

Aizawa sighed.

"Fine," he said, "Go with her, but be careful. She shouldn't be alone anyways."

"So you send me off with him," Amity thought, "After he has just proven himself to be incredibly insecure. Clever, Mr. Aizawa. Very clever. Could it be that you are overestimating Matsuda's ability to cope…or have you simply given up trying to protect him from himself?"


After Matsuda and Amity had left, Aizawa turned to the remainder of the group. Sayu, Mogi, and Lidner were all watching him expectantly…but Callie was sitting alone in the corner of the room.

"Mogi," he said, "I need to talk to you."


Mogi was not overly surprised by Aizawa's request. After all, Callie's usual sunny disposition was noticeably absent.

He followed the other man a short distance away from Lidner and Callie.

"What's wrong with Callie?" Aizawa asked.

Mogi sighed.

"She's upset…about Naoki. He tried to apologize to her earlier, and then she hit him and ran away. It took me a few minutes to track her down…but not too long. She's fairly hard to miss."

"Yes, I imagine anyone would notice her, with hair that color," Aizawa said. "Is there anything any of us can do to help her out?"

Mogi looked over at the red-haired girl, unable to keep a worried frown off his face.

"I don't know," he said, "I'm going to take her home in a little while…but I don't know what to do for her."

"Well, that makes two of us," Aizawa muttered. "Except for me, it's Matsuda. And that's a completely different thing, if you know what I mean."

"We are not going there," Mogi thought, "This conversation is ending."

He turned away, but, just as he had expected, Aizawa stopped him.

"Sorry, Mogi," he said, "I didn't mean anything by it."

"I know," Mogi said, "Its fine. Don't worry."

But he only said it because Aizawa looked tired. Worn and hurt. He looked almost like an old man.

"You should get home," Mogi said, "You need to get some rest."

"I'll be fine, Mogi," Aizawa said, "I have to stay here until Amity and the others get back, but then I'll go home."

"I could stay," Mogi said.

"I'd feel better if you took Callie and Sayu home," Aizawa said, "I hate being in a car with teenagers."

"They're not teenagers," Mogi said, and left the conversation at that. It was clear that Aizawa would not be talked out of staying there.


For once, Matsuda was actually driving as he and Amity headed for the hospital.

"Can you even drive?" he asked.

"I assumed you would enjoy being allowed to drive," Amity said, "Aizawa does not seem to place much faith in your driving skills, but I am finding that you are a fairly adept driver."

"Well, thanks," Matsuda mumbled.

"You are welcome," Amity said.

Matsuda tried to concentrate on the road, not wanting a repeat of his near car crash that morning, but he couldn't exactly ignore Amity.

"Matsuda," Amity said, "You should know that I would not have physically injured Naoki unless I had no choice."

"Yeah, well, I don't believe you," Matsuda said, "You seem a whole lot like Near and L to me, and they would have skipped right to the injury part."

"I do not believe that you know Near well enough to comment on that," Amity said. Her voice was unexpectedly tense.

"Maybe you're right," Matsuda admitted, "But, still…"

He didn't want to admit that Amity might be different. Or even that Near might be different from L. Not after Amity had suggested hurting people-namely Naoki-who had fully atoned for anything that he might have done wrong. Well, in Matsuda's opinion, anyways.

"At first I kinda thought she was different. But now I'm not so sure."

"Matsuda," Amity said, "You are about to miss the entrance to the hospital."

"Oh, sorry!" Matsuda said.

Once they were safely inside the hospital, they quickly made their way to Naoki's room, where they found Gevanni and Rester on guard duty.

"You're early," Gevanni said.

"Gevanni, Rester, and I will wait outside," Amity whispered to Matsuda, "You may speak to Naoki alone, but…"

The girl reached into her pocket and pulled out a small object. Then, she reached up and attached it to Matsuda's shirt.

"Uh…what are you doing?" Matsuda asked.

"Microphone," Amity said matter-of-factly, "It's just a precaution."

And with that, she left, along with Gevanni and Rester, leaving Matsuda alone with Naoki.

"Why'd she bring you here?" Naoki asked.

"She just wanted me to ask you some questions," Matsuda said, "It's okay. Don't worry about it."

"Haven't I betrayed enough people?" Naoki asked. "Everybody hates me already, you know. I might as well just let Amity do…whatever she plans to do with me if I don't say what she wants to hear."

"I don't hate you," Matsuda said, "And neither does anyone else."

"Callie does."

Matsuda paused.

"I didn't sign up to be a counselor…but I think…Amity's stupid interrogation can wait."

"Callie doesn't hate you," he said, "She's just upset because she overestimated your ability to be the hilarious-and, quite frankly, perfect-young guy that you seemed like. You're gonna disappoint people-it's life. People will disappoint you. Callie didn't think you would betray anyone. You didn't think Shinta would shoot you. We all overestimate people's ability to be perfect. You can't be hilarious and lovable all the time."

"That's how you are though," Naoki said, "That's how people see you. So you never did anything like this."

"Yeah, I did," Matsuda said. "I just didn't tell. You're braver than me, Naoki. You've got the truth out in the open. You were ready to risk losing your friends so you didn't have to live a lie. I'm not like that. I…I guess I'm crazy."

He paused and looked over at Naoki. To his surprise, the young man actually looked like he was still paying attention. His dark eyes were still sad…but at least they weren't devoid of life.

"I'm crazy," he repeated, half to himself, "I'm completely insane. Why did I think I could keep it a secret and live with it? Why does anything…why is the world…"

He had no idea what he was trying to say. But the desperation and helplessness he felt-both for himself and for Naoki-was overwhelming. Almost without realizing it, he sank to the floor, his hands clutching at his head, tearing at his hair.


Outside, listening through her headset, Amity contemplated Matsuda's statement.

"What's he talking about?" Gevanni asked. Apparently, the young man had been listening in, and had caught a fragment of conversation. "He's not crazy."

"Hush, Gevanni," Amity said, although she agreed with him.

"Matsuda is not crazy…and it is time that someone told him so."


Naoki stared at Matsuda. He almost couldn't believe what he was seeing and hearing. Matsuda seemed…well…somewhat irritable at times…but he had taken Naoki under his wing, so to speak, and made sure that the others didn't throw him off the team for being annoying. He had even managed to talk Aizawa out of massacring Naoki. And now he was protecting him form Amity-or so Naoki suspected. The truth was that he was starting to feel the same way about Matsuda that the other young man felt about Aizawa-the guy's annoying, but in the end, he always shows up when you need him.

"Shinta's headquarters is in an abandoned warehouse just outside Tokyo," Naoki said, "I can write down the directions, or take you there myself. Anything else you want to know, Amity?"

He knew she was listening. She was always listening, it seemed.

As he had expected, the door opened, and Amity walked calmly in.

"That will do," she said, "Thank you, Naoki."


It was on the way back to headquarters that Amity surprised Matsuda once again. They were almost there, and Matsuda was struggling to concentrate in the road, when Amity made a surprising statement.

"Matsuda," she said, "You're not crazy. In fact, I believe you are completely normal."

Matsuda nearly lost control of the vehicle altogether, barely regaining his composure in time to avoid colliding with a brick wall.

"'No, you're not crazy. You're normal.'

'I'm sure that on some level, Kira knows what he's doing is evil…'

'That's right. I am Kira!'"

"Matsuda," Amity said, "Why did you nearly crash into a building just now? This is extremely dangerous behavior."

"Because…" Matsuda said, "The last person that told me I was normal…just so happened to be the man I shot and probably killed. It just so happens that the last person who told me I was normal…was Kira."