.

Gravity was pounding down on her from every angle. It was booming in her ears and throbbing in her head and sending streaks of red across her eyelids. It was an oddly disconcerting feeling; her body didn't feel her own, merely a heavy sack attached to her neck that proved no use in allowing movement or feeling.

"Rise and shine Sleeping Beauty!" she heard through this vacuum, the sound shimmering unpleasantly in her peripheral subconscious.

Christ. Of all the things she felt like right at that instant, a 'beauty' was definitely not one of them.

Yet the cheery sound did achieve one other effect; the sound pierced through her crushing vacuum and caused a rippling sensation to swim through Naomi's body. It travelled up her deadweight legs, surged through her heavy arms and eventually reached her neck muscles, causing them to shift and thus allowing her throat to release an agonising "Ugh" of pain from her cracked lips.

The vacuum shuddered further and things suddenly became clearer in her aching brain – she was hungover. Seriously hungover. Her breath was sitting stale in her mouth and her lips were dry and chapped and her limbs were numb and her head was burning with pain. And despite all this, she could still distinguish the noise of someone bustling around the room.

This thought in mind, she – very grudgingly – cracked open an eyelid, trying not to wince with the pain that ensued.

A whirl of golden blonde hair was the first thing she saw, followed by bountiful colour. As the seconds passed and her vision cleared even further, Naomi eventually made out the buoyant face of Pandora grinning down at her from over her bed.

"Whizzer Naomi, you're awake! Thought we'd lost you for a while there, we was getting worried" she said cheerfully, plonking herself down at the end of the bed. The movement caused Naomi's limp body to bounce slightly, causing even more pain to stab through her head.

She groaned loudly. "No Panda, I'm alive" she just about managed to murmur, although it was said more-so to her pillow. She let her other eyelid flutter open. The vibrant colour she'd noticed previously was in fact coming from the dress Pandora was wearing. Its intense design of blues and reds and pinks pricked at Naomi's stinging eyes. She deflected them instead to the girl's face; Pandora was observing her with concern etched across her almost childlike features.

"Jeepers Naomi...you look rubbish" she said bluntly. Her words made an impetuous chuckle erupt from Naomi's dry lips. It shook through her sensitive head in the process. She quickly stopped but let a smile linger on her face anyway.

"Cheers Pandora, guess I can't rock the 'just rolled out of bed look' then, eh?" she replied light-heartedly. She shifted her body whilst Panda giggled; she figured that now she was returned to consciousness she might as well get up. She rolled around and unsteadily raised herself into a sitting position, leaning herself against the headboard.

"You feeling any better?" Pandora asked next, albeit with caution. Naomi understood why – there were two answers to this question. She ignored the lingering flash of red that danced behind her eyelids and answered the easier one.

"Kind of. Still a bit shaky though, y'know?" she said tiredly and the girl nodded. They both heard someone's footsteps then and they glanced towards the bedroom door. Seconds later and the proverbial figure of Effy appeared in the doorway, a coy smile stretched across her pale face and a glass of water in her hand. Despite the throbbing in her head, Naomi couldn't help but softly smile back.

"Hey" the brunette said in a gentle voice, her blue eyes gleaming and still as penetrating as ever.

Naomi disregarded the intent in her gaze. "Hey yourself" she simply replied, shifting awkwardly against the headboard.

A moment of silence passed between all three of them while they all averted their gazes ineffectually, before Pandora suddenly shot to her feet. "I'll let Tommo know you're awake then Naomes. He can make you breakfast – he makes a whacker full English, lemme tell ya!"

Naomi ignored the unappreciative gurgle that her stomach emitted just then at the thought of a big, fatty fry – feel fucking queasy already – and instead smiled politely up at Pandora. "Yeah sure, thanks" she answered. Pandora then happily strode past Effy and out of the room, leaving just Naomi and her notoriously cryptic friend alone together.

They both remained silent and unmoving for a minute or so while Naomi's brain continued to throb and she struggled to regain some clarity. Eventually Effy stepped into the room.

"Rough night?" she joked, sitting down gracefully at the side of the bed and raising a teasing eyebrow.

Naomi grinned and shrugged. "You could say that" she said evasively. Effy handed her the glass of water along with two tablets. Naomi downed both quickly and wiped clumsily at her mouth before placing the empty glass on the nightstand next to her. The water immediately relieved the desert that was her throat and mouth. Effy observed her while she raised a hand to wipe at her eyes, only to lower it a second later to see a big black smudge on the back of it. It was clearly from her leftover eye make-up. Maybe that was why her eyes felt so heavy and prickly. Another thought came to mind at this. "How long was I asleep?" she asked cautiously, almost afraid of the answer.

Effy bit her lip and confirmed Naomi's suspicions when she let out a long sigh. "A day" she said frankly.

Naomi choked on her breath. "A day?" she repeated in a strangled voice.

Effy nodded. "You were gone. Comatose. Although Pandora told me last night that while I was at work yesterday, you woke up to throw up on the floor at one point before falling back asleep again–Oh, don't worry, she cleaned it up!" she said, abruptly changing tack at the embarrassed look that crossed Naomi's face. "Other than that, you were dreaming like a baby. A drunk baby" she continued on candidly, an amused smile overtaking her face.

Naomi was pretty sure her expression had contorted into horror.

"Fucking hell" she breathed, rubbing her clammy forehead with her hand. "I'm sorry. I don't normally get that bad when I drink" she said quietly, cursing herself at the pitiable excuse.

But Effy simply chuckled and rolled her eyes in amusement. "You drank a whole bottle of rum by yourself, Naomi. And I'm pretty sure you hadn't eaten anything beforehand either – you're just lucky you didn't need to have your stomach pumped" she replied wryly, to which Naomi scoffed.

They both fell quiet again then and Naomi looked down at herself. She noticed for the first time that she wasn't wearing what she had on...that night. Instead, she was wearing an old t-shirt. Curiosity getting the better of her, she pulled the covers up and surreptitiously glimpsed her legs. She seemed to be just in her knickers, and without needing to check she could also tell she was still wearing her bra – she could feel the sore spots from where her bra had clearly dug into her ribs whenever she had lain in an awkward position.

She smiled to herself. She felt a bit sorry for Effy and Pandora – she couldn't remember much of the other night, even now when the hangover was starting to make itself scarce and hunger was quickly beginning to wrack her body. God knows she must have been out of it, which meant they would've had to have dragged her up and into bed and wrestled her lifeless body out of her clothes. And it wasn't as if it was her own house either. Actually, looking around the room now, she could clearly deduce that it was Effy's from the knowledge of her previous visits. But...if she was sitting in Effy's bed...this bed, then...

"Where did you sleep?" she asked suddenly, catching Effy off-guard.

The brunette smiled and cocked her head to one side. "With Panda. We kicked Thomas out. He slept in the living room. It was fun, I haven't had a girly sleepover in a while" she replied dismissively, almost coolly. Effy then looked down at Naomi's hand lying motionless on the covers and reached out tentatively to grab it. The hesitation and warmth of the gesture struck Naomi for any further words.

She then slowly looked up; both pairs of eyes locked and searched for answers. "How are you?" Effy asked softly, the blue in her gaze soft and understanding. She accompanied it with a soft stroke of her thumb across Naomi's hand and it made the blonde's heart swell and clench at the same time.

But then she sighed harshly, scratching ineptly at her neck. "Pretty fucked up, Eff" she admitted honestly, her tone monotonous. Effy paused, clearly expecting her to continue. When Naomi didn't, she reluctantly spoke again.

"Thomas talked to Katie. She said that you both were pretty upset. You and...and her" she murmured, eying Naomi furtively.

Naomi cleared her throat, her eyebrows scrunching together in confusion. "When was I talking to Katie?" she asked, refusing to acknowledge the main subject in her friend's words.

Effy smirked. "Just one of the many thrilling conversations you partook in on Friday Naomes" she replied smugly. Naomi blushed. She had absolutely no recollection of what she might of said to the twin, which worried her to no end. As if sensing her discomfort, Effy squeezed Naomi's hand a bit tighter. "Don't worry, you didn't say much" she said softly. "Just enough for Katie to know that her sister screwed up big time".

The blonde tensed at once. Her eyes darted away from Effy's as her heartbeat suddenly doubled in velocity. But Effy didn't give her the chance to be overcome by her grief again; Naomi felt a cool hand brush through her hair and she got an incredible sense of déjà vu all of a sudden. She didn't know why.

They both sat like that for several minutes, enveloped in a terse silence, before Naomi eventually brought her sheepish gaze back to Effy's face. The brunette was watching her with an odd combination of resolution and sympathy etched into her expression.

A small smile tweaked at her lips. "I know I'm no expert in this department but...do you wanna talk about it?" she asked hesitantly, her eyes flickering back and forth between Naomi's skittish ones.

Naomi shook her head meekly, like a child when they're in trouble. "Not particularly" she mumbled, trying to push down the lump that had now formed in her throat. An image of Emily – defeated, broken Emily – from the other night had inadvertently flashed across her mind and now it was all she could see. It made her stomach clench. The hand brushed through her hair again and Naomi's eyelids fluttered closed.

Next thing she knew however, she was hearing Effy murmur out some indistinguishable words. Her eyelids popped open again and she eyed her friend quizzically. Effy merely smirked and sighed, locking eyes with Naomi once more. "I said, 'Il y a seulement un bonheur dans cette vie, aimer et être aimé' – 'There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved'" she recited in a throaty, if slightly broken, French accent. It did nothing to quell Naomi's bewilderment; her eyebrows rose halfway up her forehead.

"Since when do you speak French?" she asked disbelievingly, struggling not to scoff or grin. Effy indeed looked a little bashful now, but it quickly disappeared to be replaced by her enigmatic aloofness.

"Thomas told me that one. It's a quote from some French Romantic writer or something. Thomas is quite poetic like that, believe it or not" she said wistfully, her eyes losing focus for a moment. Naomi wordlessly implored her to continue by tugging at their still interlinked hands. Effy smiled pensively. "It's actually been a bit sickening living here. I mean, Tommo and Panda – they're like the epitome of that saying. They're still so in love. It's almost disgusting".

The bluntness of Effy's statement made laughter bubble deep in Naomi's stomach. It left her lips as a low chuckle, to which Effy quickly joined in. We're such cynical old fuckers, Naomi thought in amusement and it was then that she realised how much she had missed Effy. They shared similarities on many things – opinions, cynicisms, humour, beliefs, views on love. Being around her again made Naomi feel inexplicably warm, considering how frozen her insides felt.

She wasn't alone.

But then the laughter stopped, and Effy unexpectedly caught her eye again in a hard stare. "My point is, Naomes, that...they've made me face it. They've made me face myself. What I've been running from". This unexpected turn in Effy's mood caught Naomi off-guard; the blonde slowly pulled her hand away, her gaze flickering back and forth between Effy and the walls of the room. But the brunette wasn't stopping. "They didn't mean to. I couldn't get away from it, from them, because I'm living here. It was unintentional. But...watching them, studying them – I see how much they really do love eachother. And after everything they've been through I'm now, for the first time in a long time...happy for them. Like, accepting of what they have." She paused and took a deep breath and Naomi felt her adrenaline start to race. "I'd been spending so much time resenting others for what they have, who they have and what I'd lost...that I...I lost myself in the process instead." Naomi met her gaze squarely then, astonished by this omission.

Was she actually getting an insight into the enigmatic mind of Effy Stonem?

When Effy didn't continue though, Naomi found herself pushing. She wanted to push. "You've been through a lot Effy" she said in a cooing tone. "You're allowed to be confused, you're allowed to be angry. Because...love is unfair" she said, and was surprised by the honesty in her voice.

Effy's eyes flashed then and Naomi was worried she might've said the wrong thing. But no – an unexpected grin stretched over Effy's pale face, causing a glint to light up her empyreal blue eyes. "I don't think I'm the only one that speech pertains to, Naomi" she said ingenuously, almost arrogantly. Comprehension swept across Naomi's face and she blanched. Effy had once again caught her in the snare of her omniscience.

Touché.

Now knowing she couldn't avoid the topic any longer – an eye for an eye – Naomi exhaled harshly. She was trapped by this. In more ways than one. "She hasn't forgiven me, Eff" she whispered in a soft voice, diverting her gaze to her hands. She saw Effy's hand dart into her eyeline and watched as the girl entwined their fingers once more. Naomi bit her lip apprehensively. "I didn't want to admit it but...deep down, I knew she never had. There was always something pulling her away from me. Herself. Her mind. She'd be there with me, loving me...yet not be there at the same time. It's like she's torn in two". She sighed again and let her eyelids slip closed, moistness brimming and threatening to pour forth. "I just couldn't take it anymore. It, she, was suffocating me. I've given her so much and...and I know she loves me but...it's not enough. For both of us, anymore". A tear spilled from underneath one of her lids then but once again showing an uncharacteristic spell of concern Effy reached out delicate fingertips to wipe it away. Naomi let this gentle moment drift on for another minute or two before she let her eyes flicker open again; they met Effy's curious and understanding blue ones and she felt a coy smile pull up at her lips unbidden.

She was about to say something else upon regaining some solidity in her thoughts, but something in Effy's expression stopped her. It looked conflicted, like she wanted desperately to admit something but couldn't or didn't know how to. Didn't know if she should. Naomi was about to press her on this, when–

"NAOMI! BREAKFAST'S ALMOST READY!"

They both winced at Pandora's loud and obtrusive voice sounding from downstairs. They glanced at eachother and grinned, both giggling awkwardly. The moment was gone and Naomi knew it, but she was almost slightly relieved – the word 'breakfast' had made her realise just how hungry she was; her stomach gurgled in an aching way. Her head still felt immensely heavy too, although she knew she'd probably feel better after some food. She was now surprisingly looking forward to Thomas' greasy fry.

She shuffled to the side of the bed and Effy took it as her cue to get up as well. "You want me to bring it up here? Breakfast in bed?" she asked in a caring tone.

Naomi shook her head fervently, which she regretted a moment later when her vision shook as well. "Nah, I've spent long enough in bed" she said, scoffing. Nevertheless, Effy gripped a steadying hand under Naomi's upper arm while the blonde shakily rose to her feet. The motion caused her head to swim even more uncomfortably. "Whoa" she breathed out when she stood fully upright.

Effy chuckled. "Bit of a mess there, eh Naomes?" she said frankly and Naomi gasped in feigned offence.

"Nonsense! You only wished you looked this chipper after a night out" she retorted jokingly and Effy rolled her eyes. The humour didn't linger on Naomi's tongue for long though – a few steps toward the door and she rapidly realised how weak she really was. Her body was spent of any energy. Effy clearly noticed too; she still had her fingers clutched under Naomi's arm and could feel every one of her sluggish movements.

"Bathroom maybe?" she suggested tentatively.

Naomi mulled for a second. "Yeah, okay. But mostly just to take this shit off my face – it feels like someone rubbed a bunch of crayons on my face and I've slept on it for two days".

Effy laughed throatily just as they approached the bathroom door down the corridor. "Funny, 'cos that's exactly what it looks like too" she said teasingly. Naomi snorted and stumbled into the doorframe. She turned back towards Effy, who was wearing an amused yet affectionate look on her face.

"Tell Panda I'll be down in a minute. And to save me plenty of sausages" the blonde said, taking a few wobbly steps towards the mirror. When she finally glimpsed her reflection however, she didn't even attempt to stifle her gasp of horror; her pale face looked worn and drawn, with absolutely none of her foundation left anywhere and her eyes so smeared and smudged that it looked like she had been given two shiners. Similarly, her hair was tangled and greasy looking. "Holy fuck!" she exclaimed several seconds later, the shock catching up to her. She heard Effy giggle and Naomi whirled around on her, the blue in her eyes flashing and electric. "Effy, how did you even talk to me seriously when I looked like this?" she squealed, now internally agreeing with Effy's previous statement. "I look like something out of a horror movie. Or a clown" she mumbled, watching as Effy's laughter doubled up and the girl rolled her eyes. She turned back to the mirror, raising a shaky hand up to her face and running her fingers slowly down her cheek.

"Relax babe, just wash up and you'll be back to normal after your fry". Effy reached out towards the door handle and pulled it towards her, clearly aiming to give Naomi some privacy. Just before she shut it however, whilst Naomi was running frantic hands through her disgustingly matted hair, she hesitated and let out a drawn-out sigh. "This isn't your problem anymore Naomi. It's hers. Emily's" she murmured. The use of the redhead's name made Naomi involuntarily flinch. She abandoned her hair for a moment to look dubiously at Effy. The brunette shot her a soft smile. "So just...give her some time. Give yourself some time. I thi–I know that, despite what you might think...she knows she's in the wrong here. You've chased after her, you've given as much of yourself as you can give". She paused for a moment, eyeballing the blonde closely. Naomi didn't say anything; the tiles now felt inexplicably cold against the soles of her feet even though the rest of her body had suddenly caught on fire. She could see red again. Feel it. Taste it.

"I know..." she found herself whispering, much to her surprise.

The soft smile grew crooked across Effy's face while she pulled the door those last few inches towards her. "So let her chase after you this time. It's her turn to give herself to you. Again". And with that she shut the door with a soft click. Naomi stood staring at it for several more seconds, almost as if Effy were still there. Still there blowing her mind.

"Christ" she muttered in exasperation to herself, spinning around unsteadily in order to face the mirror again.

Yet even when Naomi's face was fresh and clean a few minutes later, her skin tinged pink from the hot water and her eyes still bloodshot but now a lot brighter, she could still feel an odd heavy feeling gripping at her chest. A heaviness that was nothing to do with her hangover or her weak state. Because deep down, she knew Effy was right. She knew she had been right when she'd walked out on Emily, despite how much it had broken her heart.

A new fear had gripped her now while she stared at herself in the mirror. Her azure blue eyes gazed openly back at her; bright and clear yet trying to hide a sense of loss and disappointment that Naomi could physically see right there. She wanted Emily. So much. Yet...she couldn't help but wonder; would Emily rid her of this fear, this loss, this crushing disappointment? Would she release her of this loneliness and pain with her bright, beaming smile and her dark brown eyes and her rich red hair? Would she want to?

Would she try?

Naomi swallowed and closed her eyes, shutting off the view of her reflection and thus blocking her of the sorrow blinking back at her. And then, not for the first time, a prayer ran across her mind. And not for the first time, Naomi prayed for Emily to be brave and to want her back.

.


.

It is entirely possible to be very very ill with a hangover in bed for 24 hours. I unfortunately experienced that last week *shudders*, so I can relate to Naomi. And wow. I actually wrote a chapter that's relatively short instead of a behemoth. That's quite an achievement on my part, you have no idea!

Okay, but on a serious note, I'm going to have to be the bearer of bad news when I say that this story is soon coming to its end. I don't know whether people may have already gathered that from the direction I was heading in, but yeah – I'm almost done.

Not yet though, don't worry. I reckon there's another three/four/five chapters left in this bad boy, but I can't be too sure. Knowing me I'll inadvertently drag it out! We shall see how things pan out.

But once again, thanks so much for all of the support and reviews and faves etc. They've really kept me going and it makes me all the more determined to finish this fic off properly. You guys really are brilliant!

Hope you enjoyed this one and leave a review! x