Chapter 29

Closing the bedroom door behind him Brandon's eyes fell on his wife's slender form curled up into a ball in their bed her back facing him. Even without seeing her face he knew it was covered with tears and he also knew that no matter what he was going to say, it was going to be wrong.

Moving forward he sat on their bed resting his hand on her shoulder. "We have to go, Kelly." He spoke softly.

"I'm not going." Came her muffed reply.

"Kel...Ruby's our goddaughter. All our friends are going to be there, it will be good for all of us to get out of this house." He tried to reason with her, but as expected his words had the opposite effect on her as intended.

"Felix was our son." She said accusingly turning around her eyes red, her cheeks stroked with tears and her face pale, Brandon's hand slipping down from her shoulder on the white sheet. "Should I just pretend nothing happened for the sake of you and our friends?"

"No. That's not what I'm asking you to do. But you can't keep doing this to yourself...and to us." Brandon spoke softly.

"What am I supposed to do? Smile and joke around and pretend we haven't lost a son ten days ago? That's what you want me to do Brandon?" Kelly questioned him and he could see a new streak of tears on her face.

"No." Brandon let out having a hard time to fight his emotions as well. "I just thought that being around your friends could cheer you up a little. But I'm obviously wrong again."

"Being still pregnant with our son, could cheer me up a little. But that's obviously not going to happen."

"Kel..."

"Just go Brandon. Go, and have fun with our friends." Kelly cut him short turning her back to him.

Brandon closed his eyes briefly trying to keep his emotions in check. "I miss Felix too, Kel." He said softly before standing up and leaving the room.

When the doors closed behind him he rested his back against it. He knew his last words set of another flood of tears for her and finally allowed the tears to flow down his cheeks as well. When Andrea told them they lost their son, he never expected to stand by and watch as he was slowly losing his wife as well.

He stood there for what felt like hours, but in reality only few minutes passed. Hearing his mother's and daughter's voices from downstairs he quickly brushed away the remains of tears from his cheeks and descended the stairs.

Just one look and subtle shook of his head and Cindy understood. "I'll stay here." She told him, handing him Thea who was babbling happily her chubby little arms outstretched to her father.

"You don't have to mom. Maybe Kelly really needs some space and we should leave her alone." Brandon said looking upstairs with a worried expression on his face.

"She'll have as much space as she needs to." Cindy assured him, handing him a box wrapped in a pink paper and guiding him towards the front door.

"Thanks mom!" He kissed her cheek quickly. He knew there was no point in reasoning with his mother and deep down was glad that she offered to stay.


Not even two hours later Brandon found himself sitting on the end of recliner in Silver's perfectly maintained backyard watching Thea as she played with her cousins. He knew everyone meant well but the afternoon was turning to be much more mentally exhausting than he anticipated. At this point he was almost ready to admit that Kelly was right and staying at home away from everyone and everything was the right thing to do.

He heard steps and someone sitting down on the other recliner but didn't bother looking up. He was tired, feeling down and not ready for another pointless conversation that still couldn't change the fact that he'll never watch his son grow up.

Drowned in sorrow the deafening silence was disturbing him more than any words could and he finally looked up seeing Dylan seated there. "Are you going to ask me how I feel?" He questioned him an ironic undertone in his voice.

"No. Not unless you want me to." Dylan replied with his typical calmness.

Brandon nodded relieved, taking another moment before he spoke. "I don't know what to do. She's drifting away from me. Every day she's drifting further away and I don't know what to do, what to say. I don't know how to stop it and how to make her feel better."

"Just love her."

"That does not feel like it's enough." Brandon let out his eyes moving from Dylan to his daughter and felt sorry for her as well. During the short year she's been on this world she'd always been the centre of her mother's universe. Now Kelly could barely look at her daughter without bursting into tears and the little one couldn't understand why her mommy was not around.

"When I lost Antonia, it felt like all the love was gone from this world. At that moment there was no one in this world who could love me the way she did. You've lost your son, but you still have each other and your precious little girl. Together you're going to make it through. Just love her and know that no matter how much she's hurting now, she loves you too."

Brandon nodded his head softly trying to absorb everything that Dylan just said.

"Look. I know that grief is a beast and it can caught up with you anytime. Whenever you feel like talking, I am ready to listen." Dylan said looking at his friend. "And if you're thinking when you can finally get out of here and go back to your wife, that time has already passed. Everyone will understand if you leave now."

"Thanks." Brandon let out the first hint of smile appearing on his lips.