Disclaimer: I only own Alex.
A/N: A HUGE thank you to everyone who read and reviewed, I love you all! I hope you like this chapter for many reasons. The flashback is italicized. Enjoy & review!
The tears blurred her vision as she walked on, her Pointe shoes in hand. Going off on Wade like that had really hurt her, but there wasn't much else she could do. She felt herself slipping even further for him and felt the need to stop it. Coming into contact with Phil again was making her rethink the past and made her realize that she wasn't any good for Wade. Especially, since he had been so good to her lately.
"Alex!"
Hearing his voice made her ache, but she kept walking. Alex was well past her breaking point and couldn't handle much else. Talking wasn't going to solve anything, only make her worse. She had said what she needed to say to him and she was done. It hurt her, but she truly meant that it was over. There couldn't be anymore of what they were doing.
"God damn it, Alex, will stop and listen to me?" Wade snapped, catching up to her. "All I want to do is be there for you. Why are you so hard headed?"
"Listen to me, Barrett, its done. We can't do what we do anymore. I don't deserve to have you in my life for any purposes." Alex kept her eyes down, not even casting a glance at him. "You don't know who I really am and who I really was. I'm not doing this to hurt you or to be a bitch. I'm doing it to protect you. This is so I don't hurt you."
None of that mattered to him. He was already in too deep with her and the thought of losing Alex frightened him. Whatever it was that she did that she thought made her a horrible person he didn't care about. That was in her past and clearly she wasn't that person anymore. Looking at her and he couldn't even detect a bad bone in her body. Even if she did, they appeared to be all gone. In recent weeks he had seen nothing but a sweet, confused woman who still held onto girlish tendencies.
"Forget about protecting me, Alex. Erase all of that from your mind. I don't want to hear that from you ever again. You attempting to throw me out of your life is hurting me. For it to actually happen would kill me. I don't care about anything that happened in your past. Whatever happened doesn't bother me. All I care about is that you're still in my life."
"I can't, Wade."
"You're still with John, aren't you? The only reason why you're doing this it to make him happy." He pieced together, placing his hand under her chin, bringing her gaze to his. "Am I right?"
"I ended things with him last night." She whispered, her chin quivering. "This is something I'm doing on my own."
"Do I have a say in if you get to stay in my life or not?"
"No." Alex stepped away from him. "This is for your own good, Wade. Sometime in the near future you're going to be thankful for this day."
"Alex!" He called after her.
She stopped in her tracks, keeping her back towards him. "Its over, Wade! I don't want to see you again."
His anger got the best of him and he just snapped. He just couldn't comprehend why she was acting the way she was. This wasn't the Alex he got to know over the last few weeks. A completely different person was inhabiting her body.
"Life got a whole lot easier for you, I'm going to Smackdown as of today!" He shouted across the way, then walked off in anger.
Now the tears were coming at full force. Having him away was something she wanted, but not being able to see him from a distance would kill her. It seemed as if nothing could go right anymore.
X
The following week dragged for Alex. Word made it around fast that she ended things with John. Of course, everyone's first response; she left him for Wade. That couldn't be further from the truth. Eyes were following her and people were wondering. She did nothing to confirm or deny the rumors going around. All she did was become even more introverted and barely spoke to anybody anymore.
"Come on, Shorty." Heath nudged her shoulder. "We're due out there for another one of Punk's initiations."
"I'm not going out there." Alex muttered, taking the armband off. "I'm done being in this group. Otunga's a moron. Husky and Mike don't really say much. Wade is gone. Its not the same anymore."
"What are you saying?" Justin wondered, his eyes never leaving hers.
"I'm leaving the group." She whispered, then tried to joke around. "Consider me being another short lived Nexus member after Daniel Bryan."
Heath and Justin chuckled at her lame joke. It wasn't to make her feel better, but rather because it was the first time they had heard her crack a joke in a long while. Ever since the week before, she had gone into an even deeper depression.
"All jokes aside, let's get out there." Heath repeated. "They're probably waiting on us."
"You guys go ahead, but I'm not going." She got up, grabbing her duffle bag. "I'm really leaving Nexus."
"Phil's going to be pissed. He's going to do serious damage."
"He can't damage me anymore than he already has." Alex shrugged. "Consider me an ex-Nexus member boys."
They watched as she left the locker room, not saying another word. Shock and fear had gripped them inside and out. They understand her words, but felt they needed to find out more. Alex had become more than a friend to them, but rather a sister. Seeing her this upset and hurt made them worry. They knew that her break up with John and Wade leaving had something to do with her depression, but it was almost like a big chunk was missing. What was it?
"Phil can't damage her more than he already has?" Justin wondered, looking at his red headed friend. "I wonder what she meant."
"Do you think Wade knows?" Heath questioned.
"I talked to him the other day and he did not mention her. Anytime I brought her up he kept changing the subject. I noticed that she would do the same thing. Something happened and I think its all finally catching up to her."
"There's got be someone who knows what's up."
"There's only two people I can think of; John and Randy."
"No, not a chance in hell!" Heath exclaimed. "After what John did I don't want to ask him for anything."
"Randy it is then." Justin proclaimed, then exited the room.
Sighing, Heath grabbed Alex's Nexus band and placed it in his bag. Next time he saw Wade, he would give it to him. As sick as it was to him, he knew Wade would appreciate the small gesture in having something of Alex's.
"The shit we do for them." Heath said to himself, then went to go join his Nexus members.
X
"Really bold move in leaving the group tonight." Phil sarcastically commented. "I especially like that you told Heath and Justin, but not me."
Alex rolled her eyes, not really appreciating this little moment with him. Ever since they had gotten into contact with each other she had seen him everywhere. Whenever she turned around he was there. If she was crossing the street, then he was right there. It got to the point where she felt like she would find him in the bathroom.
"What difference does it make? I want nothing to do with you so the only logical thing to do was to leave." Alex mumbled, walking further away from him.
"Maybe you wouldn't have to run away had we talked about everything. Alex is too hardheaded. Of course, you wouldn't realize that this would be closure for you. The slightest mention of anything and you're jumping out of your skin."
"We are never going to talk, Phil. Drop it." Alex stepped in the elevator only to have him follow. "Must you follow me everywhere?"
Now it was him who rolled his eyes. "I'm not about to walk twenty-two flights of stairs because you don't like me within ten yards of you. Your happy ass can keep quiet until one us leaves. Okay, diva?"
"Yes, dickwad." Alex sarcastically smiled.
For the next few seconds no other words were spoken. Alex took to one corner of the tiny elevator and Phil took the other. The former couple each had their arms folded across their chests, their gazes staring straight ahead. All that could be heard was their frustrated breathing.
A sigh of relief escaped from her lips when she realized they were about hit the seventeenth floor. She would finally be free of him for the rest of the night. No more having to worry about running into him. It would be smooth sailing from here.
Just like that, the elevator light flickered on and off, then jolted, getting stuck between the fifteenth and sixteenth floor.
"Fuck." Alex muttered, closing her eyes and sliding down to the floor. "Fuck."
His eyes fell to her as he watched her bring her legs up to her chest. Her arms wrapped around her legs and she rested her chin against her knees. Light sobs were reaching his ears and he automatically felt ill. He remembered that she was claustrophobic, having a terrible fear of elevators. Sometimes, he wondered why she even set foot in them if she was scared.
"Relax, Alex." He got down on his knees, crawling the short distance to her. "Just breathe. Everything will be fine."
She didn't say anything, only continued to ignore him. This time it wasn't out of her usual hatred for him, but rather to get herself to forget about her predicament. She wasn't expecting her night to go like this.
The elevator came to a screeching halt and a seven year old Alex lightly screamed. Nothing like this had ever happened before. Come to think of it, the possibility of such a thing happening had never occurred to her. Usually, she felt safest in an elevator. Now that this happened, not so much anymore.
"Auntie Linda, is the elevator going to crash down to the floor?"
Linda looked down at her niece and smirked. "Of course and soon the room is going to get smaller."
A horror stricken face made itself known on the young girl's face. That could really happen? Blinking back her tears, she looked to her left and then to her right. The walls were closing in! Something bad was going to happen.
"I'm scared." Alex whimpered, getting closer to her aunt. "The room is getting small."
"Hush up, kid." Linda demanded. "We'll get out soon."
Her heart began to race and she felt herself starting to get sweaty. Tears were streaming down her face and she felt like she was going to throw up. Clamping her eyes shut, Alex let out a shrill scream.
"Alex! Alex! Alex!" Phil said, softly shaking her by the shoulders. "Calm down!"
He could see her body shaking in fear. Her eyes were clamped shut and he could see the tears fighting their way out of her eyes. Feeling like he should do something other than tell her to relax, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, brining her closer to him.
"Shh, relax." He whispered, rocking her back and forth. "Say something, Alex. Please?"
Alex counted to three and opened her eyes, hoping to see this was all a nightmare. Disappointment flooded her when she saw that she was in the dark elevator. Not to mention, she had Phil near her, way to close for comfort.
"Get off me." She muttered. "I'm a big girl."
"Yeah, that's why you were just screaming." Phil commented, still holding onto her. "I'm not letting you go until we're out of here. Your body is shaking too violently for your own good and the last thing I need is for you to go completely apeshit in here. So, for your sake, I really need you to relax."
Alex risked looking at him from the corner of her eye and she could see that he genuinely cared. Sighing, she rested her head against his shoulder took a deep breath. He was right; she really did need to relax.
"Talk to me, Philly." Alex said, after a few minutes of silence went by. "Clearly, we were meant to hash everything out. Might as well do it now, right?"
He smiled at the use of the nickname she used for him. When they first met she had called him that and he hated it. Of course, she was doing it to annoy him. After a while, he grew use to it and even fell in love with it after they broke up.
"I'm sorry about everything. I'm sorry about how we ended. For months after we got the marriage annulled, I wish we hadn't. I loved you and letting you go was the worst mistake of my life." He admitted. "The entire time we were together we played Maria like a fiddle. You were pissed at her and I was pissed at her. Our anger for someone is what brought us together and when we got what we wanted from that anger we burst at the seams. A relationship built on hate and anger never lasts. We should have realized that. Both of us should have known that using each other was a bad idea. Somewhere along the line we were blinded and got married."
"You put me through hell." Alex whispered. "We really were naive to think we would last. I should have known-we should have known that everything would come back to haunt us."
"Everything really came to a head when you were put in that storyline with John."
"It came to a head long before that." Alex muttered. "Using each other is what hurt us. We built a relationship on paranoia and it eventually followed us into ours."
"That shouldn't have meant I lay my hands on you or see other women." He whispered. "I know it happened once and never again, but everyday after we ended, I was glad. Not because you were gone, but because you helped stop me from becoming a monster. I'm grateful that John and Randy came for you that night. God knows what else could have happened."
"Do you ever regret having anything with me?"
"No." He said with no hesitation. "The only thing I regret is how we went about it and touching you in hateful manner. She pissed me off with her decision to do Playboy and I took that out on her by going to her enemy."
"When she started that rumor about me I got mad. At that time my best bet was to go to you and fuck with her emotions." Alex teared up. "The hell I put her through. Stealing her boyfriend and her push; I feel horrible."
"You were defending yourself in the way you thought best."
"I did a good job defending myself." Alex smirked. "All I did was make myself look like a jackass. I got what I wanted. She was miserable and I got my first push. Looking back on my first title win, it didn't feel as good. By my second run with it, I felt good because I earned it, I did it on my own. Had my life gone a bit differently, then I wouldn't have felt the need to sabotage her life. My grandparents raised me to be better than that, but my aunt just messed a few things up for me. Having somebody do what she did to me just messed with my head."
"I got my revenge when she found out about us. When that happened she really distanced herself from us."
"Not that I blame her." Alex replied. "I just never thought that you and I would suffer so much."
Phil tightened his hold on her, not wanting to let her go. Her body had stopped shaking and he felt like if he did let go she would freak out again. One time he had read that holding people, like he was holding Alex, would ultimately calm them down.
"It was karma, babe. What comes around goes around. Life kicked us in the ass." He rattled off, smiling when she giggled. "Pick your favorite cliche and run with it."
"Getting married was our problem. We thought we were in love and just did it on impulse."
"Getting married while I was still with Maria was our problem. Not to mention you were still with that guy back home." Phil pointed out. "I think that's where our insecurities laid. I was afraid you were still with Ronnie. You were afraid that I would go skipping out on you as I did."
"We were doomed from the start." Alex muttered, her eyes on her shoes. "Did we ever press the help button?"
"No." Phil laughed. "I'll do it right now."
"Philly, you're gonna have to let me go if you wanna press the button." Alex smirked, pressing herself closer to him.
"No, I don't." He smiled at her using the old name again.
"Yes, you do."
"Watch me."
He stretched his leg the semi-short distance between them and the elevator call buttons. With a tiny push of his foot he was able to push the button. Seconds later they got a call saying that someone was on the way to correct the problem.
"For what's it worth, I really am sorry about everything. I'm not sorry about being with you or even getting married to you. I'm just sorry about how I treated you after we got married. Never should I have done what I did."
Casting a glance at him, she lightly smiled. He was genuinely sorry and so was she. Fore, she wasn't the only who suffered. She always made it a point to push him to the brink when they fought. He gladly accepted, she just never thought he would lay his hands on her.
"I'm sorry too."
"For what?"
"I'm just sorry." Alex whispered. "You guys could have worked something out had I not made myself known. Also, I shouldn't have egged you on in those fights. I think that is also what made you snap and myself too."
"Friends?" He smiled.
"Friends." Alex smiled, snapping a kiss on his cheek.
"Does this mean we're friends with benefits?" He joked, wiggling his eyebrows.
"Phil." She smiled, a playful tone in her voice.
"Okay, okay, friends."
The lights flickered on and they continued moving. Smiling, Phil let go of her and got up. He outstretched his hands towards her and helped her off the ground.
"Night, Philly." She whispered, making her way out of the elevator.
"For the record, I did love you when we were together and I still do love you because you opened my eyes." He smiled, pulling her back. "Us getting back together will never happen, I think we both know that. Just know, I'll always love you and I'm glad you're in my life."
"Ditto." Alex tugged away from him. "See you."
When the doors dinged closed, Alex turned on her heel and started towards her room. A whole new weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She felt a little lighter and little happier. Getting trapped in an elevator with her ex was for the best, she thought.
"Is that why Wade left pissed today?"
A low shriek resounded from Alex, causing her to nearly stumble into the wall. "Jesus Christ! Must you sneak up on me guys?"
"We just saw you with Phil." Heath replied. "Is that why Wade was mad today?"
"Phil has nothing to do with why he was pissed." Alex admitted, her eyes on her friends. They knew Wade before her, so she knew that their loyalty was with him. "I'm having a tough time as of late. Too much has built up recently and it just brought out a lot of thoughts. I came to the conclusion, that I didn't deserve Wade in my life. I was a cold hearted bitch before and-"
"He doesn't care about that." Justin cut her off. "He only cares about you and how you're doing. We're going to Smackdown too. Come with us. You guys can talk and everything will be better."
"I'm staying here." Alex lightly smiled. "A little break is needed and to be honest it feels good being on my own."
"What about, Phil?" Heath wondered. "Earlier tonight you were avoiding him."
Alex sighed. "We had some problems in the past that we got through and now we're friends."
Heath nodded his head and walked off, leaving Alex in the middle of the hall with Justin. She was still hiding something and so was Randy. He had refused to talk when he and Justin found him.
"Please, come with us?" Justin pleaded. "He's going to be miserable without you and vice versa. There's something there between you guys. You shouldn't waste it."
Of course, Alex knew he was right, but she couldn't budge on her decision. Just because she had talked things over with Phil, it didn't mean she could be with Wade. Not only was there still John to contend with, but there was also the thought of telling the handsome Brit everything. That was something she would never be ready for and something she wanted to avoid.
"I can't, Justin." Alex teared up. "Its for his own good."
He blocked her door when he saw she was ready to go inside. "Wade hasn't always been the greatest guy either and when you showed up something in him snapped. He's doing things he has never done before. Wade was constantly checking his phone to make sure he hadn't missed anything from you. He even traveled to see you when he heard your voicemail. The second he picks up on any trace of worry from you he drops what he's doing to see you. He would never do this for anyone."
"Don't do this, Justin." She pleaded.
"He's in love with you." He spelled out for her.
"Stop!" Alex screamed. "I can't do this, Justin."
Sighing, Justin walked to her and pulled her into his arms. Watching over her would be hard while he was on Smackdown, but he promised to do his damndest to make sure she would be fine. One way or another, he would make sure she stayed in one piece. His plan of attack didn't work tonight, but there was always another option.
"I'll miss you, kid." He smiled, looking down at her. "Call me if you ever need me. Heath and I will always be there."
"Thank you, Scruffles." Alex cried. "Please, watch Wade for me. I don't know what he's capable of in moods like this."
"That makes two of us." The South African admitted. "I'll call you tomorrow?"
"Please." She broke away from him. "Tell Heath I'm sorry."
Justin nodded and walked off. She still cared, he knew she did. Otherwise, she wouldn't have asked him to look out for Wade. Even she knew that he could be dangerous when angry. This was something she caught onto after three months. It was then and there that he realized no two people deserved to be together more than them.
Alex waited until her friend disappeared around the corner and frowned. He was right about so much. She wanted nothing more than to be happy with Wade, but that couldn't happen. Saying that he didn't care was a hard thing for her to accept because he knew nothing. If she told him anything, then he would be quick to run in the other direction.
"Wow, you're just everywhere tonight."
Pressing her forehead against her door, Alex whimpered. Why was she seeing everyone in the free world tonight?
"Not now, John."
"Just in the area and decided to say hi." John smugly replied.
"Goodnight." Alex unlocked the door and shut it behind her quickly.
She was emotionally exhausted and needed to get to sleep. This had been a hell of a day and one she wanted to end. Changing, she snuggled into bed and did what she could to fall asleep. Worst case scenario; if she couldn't sleep, she would dance, hoping to have Wade show up again.
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