Dear Diary,
Christmas came and went, and the wedding is approaching quickly. Like today, Genta, Nellie, Nattie and I were shopping for frocks. Cosmo was there too, but he was just there to him and give advice and shit. I found a cute one that was labeled maternity, and we all found similar ones. They went down to everyone's knees, but Nell could not stand that. She had Cosmo hem it when she bends over, she flashes people. Genta just made her get some undies that matched.
"How does this look?" Genta ran out, Cosmo in tow.
"You're going to rip the dress!"
She stopped . "This is my dream dress, I don't want to rip it." It was over the shoulder, with a blood red ribbon around the hips. It matched our bridesmaid frocks, except ours had a black ribbon around our hips, and the body was red. Her dress body was white, which was unusual here. Well, in clothing anyway.
"Than let he make this one last alteration, and..." He ducked under her dress, and we could hear him humming. Nattie and I giggled a little, Nell was checking herself out in the mirror, and Genata blushed. He came back from under her gown. "Done!" Magenta hugged him.
"Ow! Fuck! G- Get me something so it doesn't drip! Hurry!" Cosmo sighed, and got her a loose scrap of fabric to cover the bleeding prick that the needle poked.
"You're beautiful, but get that off." I walked to Genta, and almost on cue, Nattie walked up to Cosmo, and kissed him.
I got into the dressing room, and we slipped Genta's dress off, making sure not to mess with the pins. "I love this, but I don't know?"
"About what?" I looked up from some of the bridal magazines, and she sighed.
"About... Marrying him in public. Because I know my parents will be there... Well, not my father. Maybe my mother, and her sister. They were always okay with us. Well, most of the time. Except, my mother didn't really like it when we kissed, but she was okay with holding hands. And saying I love you and shit. If I even looked at Riffy while dad was around, he would smack us both. I mean, the people know we are sibling lovers, but it still seems like I'm an outcast. Like highschool all over again."
In highschool, It was pretty good for me. I dropped out of school, and went on tour with one of Eddie's favorite bands. He told me them, when I called him last, and I listened to their music, and I was in love. I could pull off as eighteen, so I went backstage, after I bought a pass with my stolen money my aunt left. She was my only source of money, so she gave me some rather illegal money.
"Cole, right?"
I said, as I entered the backroom, as I was lead in by a tall blonde. "That's me."
Life was easy on the road. I tapped for their entertainment, which I knew a little from when I was younger. Sure, they were pedofiles for sleeping with me at fifteen, but they loved it. Until they got drunk one night, and they were always mean when they were, but that one night, they pushed me over the edge. They screamed at me, we were in the bus, but I got off anyway. I was walking on the road for about two days, and it was early spring, so it was cold at night. In the early morning of the third night, I was awoken by a car. I was fairly away from the road, so no one could hit me. "Lady?" I jumped up, frightened. "Do you need a lift?" I was backing away now. "Listen, I won't hurt you." I noticed his accent, and smiled.
I walked up to his car slowly. "Hello. What's your name?"
"My name is Frank. Come in." I rounded the other side of the car, and I got in. All I had was my bag, which I managed to cram a little water into it when I ran. I got to the car, and he smiled reassuringly. "What is your name?"
"Laura Campbell." I thought for a while. "Columbia. Columbia Campbell. Excuse me, at first, I gave you my fake name.
"I see you notice my outfit."
"It doesn't really affect me, I've seen a lot weirder people on the roads."
"Really? How old are you?" We were driving now, and it was smooth, not like the bus, where I swear the driver hit everything he could.
"Well, I didn't celebrate my birthday, but I'm sixteen. I told then I was eighteen, but they said I had the face of a twenty-five year old."
"Sixteen? Well, you'll fit in well here."
"What?" He looked at me.
"I'll explain later." He drove up to the gate, which had a sign that said "ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK" painted on it big, black letters. We drove up the medium drive, and I got a look at the breathtaking castle. It was the early morning, but the sun was starting to come up. I'd say it was about six. "My staff is about your age, but they look older. I am a little harsh, I will admit, but not harsh enough that the poor twenty year old should be balding. I don't think they eat. You will be rooming with the maid, I apologize for that, but I don't think that will be a problem, she is usually not in there. And, I hope you ll spend some time in my room, too. I'm twenty, but I will treat you right." He picked a bit of my hair. "We might need to fix that. He parked next to the big stone doors, and I saw a balding, blonde man.
"What's his name?" I had opened the door, and Frank walked to catch me.
"Raft something."
"Riff Raff, master. Is this your newest... Toy?"
"No. She is not. This is Columbia." But the question wasn't aimed for him, it was aimed for me.
"Can he go get the maid?" I turned to Frank. "I would like to make sure that she won't kill me in my sleep or something."
"If she killed you, I'd kill her." But he turned anyway. "Go get Magenta." Riff walked in silence, and came back with her.
"What do you want I told you I had to dust the-" But she stopped when she saw me. "Hello, Miss. She curtsied. Are you one of Frank s new groupies?"
"Yes!" I was bouncing up and down now. "I'm Columbia!"
"Well, it's nice to know we won't be alone as your staff, Frank."
"But, you will be. She will be rooming with you, Magenta, but not helping around the house. It's lonely here, since you won't let me into your pants. And I'm sure that you will like having a part where you don't ultimately have to expose your breasts at every moment." She snarled and backed to Riff Raff. "Don't be so uptight. And he can't protect you all the time." He turned back me.
"So, Genta, looks like I'll be rooming with you. But are there anymore staff?"
"Ooh, Genta, I like that. I'm sure we can explain over dinner, right Genta?"
"Yes master." She said through clenched teeth, and Frank obviously noticed.
"But please, take her up to her room and fit her with hygiene products... Dark pink, or bright red, whichever we have more of. Oh! Mix them together, see what that color is."
"Yes master." She grabbed me by the hand, and led me in the door. She led me up the stairs, but the lift was right beside us. "Excuse me, Frank says we can't use the lift unless he is with us or we have visitors. I know that he wouldn't approve of me using it now, so we are to take the stairs." We made our way up, her showing me Frank's bedroom, the zen room, the dinning room, the lab, and our room. "The bathroom is over there, let me get you a chest." The chest had body wash, face wash, shampoo, conditioner, hair dyes, makeup, and a bunch of other shitty items like colored contacts."If you need help, call me on the video monitor. And don't use your contacts, they are the same color as your eyes. He loves that color. Consider yourself lucky." I didn't really know what the color of my eyes were, but I just nodded. After about two hours, my hair was a different color, and Magenta had cut it short, like Frank told her to. I had a short pixie cut, and I was pink all over, because I had been waxed and scrubbed all over. I had shed a few layers of skin, and about a foot of hair. Magenta put my make-up on carefully, and explained that when a new groupie came, it was the maid's job to fix her up. I got into my outfit, a sequined buster, striped shorts, and a gold tail jacket and top hat. I also had fishnets, which my mother had introduced me to when I was younger, so it wasn't anything new. "Perfect." She stepped back, and admired her work.
I couldn't even tell what dinner was, so I just cut it into smaller bites. "I believe you would tell me why they are here?" I looked up at Frank, and he dropped his cutlery.
"Does she know?"
"No, I haven't told her."
"Why not!" Frank said, getting in Genta's face, who was standing behind him.
"How am I supposed to tell her? 'I hope you don't mind but we are aliens!'"
"Yes." He said, sitting down.
"Miss," she said sitting down beside me, ignoring the glare from Frankie. "We are... Aliens. From Transexual, Transylvania. If you notice how he dresses, that's the norm. Well, not exactly norm, but you see a lot of people there dressed like him."
"So... You guys... Are aliens?"
"Yes. I hope this doesn't bother you."
"No, it bothers me that your staff refers to me as Ma'am, or Miss."
"Genta. Riff Raff. Call her Columbia."
And that was it about aliens, until Frank met Eddie, he knocked him out, and stole his brain.
I had to learn my lines to the floor shows, and my solo in their anthem, the Time Warp. For Brad and Janet, I just was sad when I sang when doctor Scott did, but the floor show, I knew it by heart. This went on for what... Four years? I don't really know...
-Collie
