"Forget your personal tragedy.
We are all bitched from the start and
you especially have to be hurt like hell before you can write seriously.
But when you get the damned hurt,
use it-don't cheat with it."
~Ernest Hemingway~

Yellow diamonds in the light
And we're standing side by side
As your shadow crosses mine
What it takes to come alive

It's the way I'm feeling I just can't deny
But I've gotta let it go

We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place

Shine a light through an open door
Love and life I will divide
Turn away cause I need you more
Feel the heartbeat in my mind

It's the way I'm feeling I just can't deny
But I've gotta let it go

We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
~Rihanna ft Calvin Harris~


"So, this is the illusive room of Antoinette Swan?"

Illusive? How does that word belong to his vocabulary?

Could you please be quiet - I no longer need your input.

Your living with vampires - you need my input.

I bit my lip, leaning against the frame of the door and I nodded reluctantly - looking around the mess of a room and I wondered how I could have ever let it get this bad. It looked liked it belonged to a teenager whom was mentally damaged.

Not to far from reality, really.

I ran a hand through my hair, watching with wide eyes as he stepped through the doorway of my bedroom and he sat down on the messy bed, looking at me with a small, longing smile. "What are you doing right over there?"

I shrugged, jumping onto the bed and he smiled, wrapping a warm arm around my shoulders. Leaning into the warmth of his chest I sighed in relief as I basked in what I hadn't experienced in what seemed like months, yet only a matter of days I was deprived of his warmth.

I looked up at him, biting my lip. "I missed you."

He turned to me, a small coy smile tugging at the corners at his lips and he pressed his lips into my auburn curls, and I could almost felt him smiling against my scalp. "I missed you too."

"Of course you did," I murmured, looking up at him with my signature smirk. "Who wouldn't?"

He rolled his eyes. "People with some sanity,"I laughed dryly, looking out to the aluminous grey skies that reminded me where I was, to my disappointment. "Are you okay?"

I bit my lip, jumping from the bed. "Take a walk with me."

His eyebrows furrowed, surprise melting within his eyes. "Why?"

I shrugged. "I haven't been outside in yonks-"

"Wait," He said, grabbing my hand. "What the hell is yonks?"

I shrugged. "A long time, I guess."

He shrugged. "You could have just said a long time."

I smirked. "Where's the fun in that?"

There's no fun in it - your dead inside.

"Jake, when I said walk," I panted, looking at the copper skinned god that stood atop the hill that I couldn't get up and he looked down at me, with a painstakingly mocking smirk that made my toes tingle with anticipation. "I meant go to Port Angeles and go to McDonalds. That's what I meant by when I said walk."

His laugh boomed through the large, defining tree's that surrounded us and I shook my head. "I'm not joking, Jake!"

"You really want to go to McDonalds?" He asked, laughing again as he went over the hill and I rolled my eyes.

"I really wanted a burger." I muttered, following him up the hill as I groaned, my legs painfully aching as I walked over the hill - my eyes coming across a scene that you would usually see in a cheap romance novel.

Jake stood, overlooking the crashing waves that eroded at the cliff that hung over what seemed like the side of the earth. I felt a flicker of a smile overcome my features before Jake turned back, cocking a brow thoughtfully.

"We can go to McDonalds if you like," He said reasonably, his voice sending quivers down my whole body, making each cell erupt with excitement. "I mean, if you hungry-"

I sighed, walking over to where he stood."Don't worry - we can't be away for too long anyway."

Jake's face hardened, as if the mood had been ruined and I cocked my head to the side as I examined the mystery that was Jacob Black. In every way, he was beautiful. Annoyingly beautiful - the kind of beauty you see on a red carpet event that belongs to some guy who's worth gazillions, and that had written a book about his abusive childhood and drug abuse and how he overcome it, while in the end he happened to marry some supermodel that just had a baby yet looked like a fucking goddess.

Fucking celebrities.

Fucking perfect celebrities.

"Your so beautiful," He murmured, his finger caressing my cheek.

I smiled, pressing my lips to his softly and I felt him wrap his arm around my body, squeezing me ever so slightly as I opened my mouth to let him in, our tongues dancing together as the kiss became heated - my heart becoming erratic as I felt my breathing pick up as his hands explored my body.

With shaking hands, I moved them down to his chest - all my energy pouring into him and I felt him push me down gently into the dirt, his scorching hot hands ravaging my body and I gasped as we broke apart, his lips going down to my neck - sucking and kissing every line and crinkle that belonged to my neck.

I laughed as he kissed my jaw line, my hands going to his button up shirt and I felt like superman, or super teenager, a more befitting title, and I ripped his shirt open, revealing his chiselled chest. I felt like a fucking superhero, or some kind of mutated teenage girl that had super strength.

I could be famous.

I could be rich.

I could be fighting crime, in a costume that had a giant A written on it - and people would gaze above in wonder as I flew over them, and little wide eyed children with chocolate framing their mouths would point up with their chubby fingers, and tugging at their parents clothes while saying 'look Mama, it's Anna - the human super machine that's better than everyone else'.

Your imagination is worrying.

I felt my breath hitch again as Jake chuckled against my lips, looking up at me with those dark, alluring orbs that made me shiver with anticipation as I looked down at his coy smile with raised, confused eyebrows. "Excited are we?"

I nodded, laughing as he ravished my slightly raised bosom with sloppy kisses, and I gasped as his hand travelled to my breasts - his thumb tracing the faint outline of my protruding, and erect nipple.

Okay, I was officially freaking out.

Freaking the fuck out.

Right now.

I arched my back in shock, squirming under his fiery touch before I bit my lip - moving away from him to my libido's disappointment. Sitting up, I straightened up my clothes as a blush spread across my cheeks and I looked down at my feet as I wrapped my arms around my knee's, pulling them closer to my chest as I saw Jake sit up - his shirt ripped from my touch.

"I'm sorry about your shirt," I murmured, and he smiled - shaking his head.

"Don't worry about it - it's one of the bloodsuckers."

I begrudgingly met his eyes, biting my lip as I shook my head. "I'm sorry but I'm not rea-"

"I get it," He said, grabbing my hand reassuringly and I sighed in relief. "I can wait. We can wait. We're not in a rush."

I bit my lip, smiling as I looked up - his finger now on my lips, tracing the upturned lines. "Thank you."

He smiled, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and he shook his head. "Your beautiful, you know that right?"

I smiled. "Your just biased."

He smirked. "Of course I am. I'm your boyfriend."

I scoffed. "You haven't even taken me on a date yet!"

His eyebrows furrowed. "You hate dates!"

I bit my lip, flushing. "I wouldn't hate a date with you."

Jake smirked, brushing my hair out of my eyes. "Of course you wouldn't - I am the master!"

My eyebrows furrowed. "Of what?"

Jake looked back at me, his smile gone and I could practically feel his confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, what are you the master of? The Universe? Or Ninja skills?"

Jake smirked, his lips inches away from mine as he tried to entice me with his intoxicating fragrance. "Of course, my Ninja skills."

I rolled my eyes, turning away from him to his disappointment and I ran a hand through my hair, breathing out an exhilarated yet exhausted sigh, in which was entangled with sleep deprivation.

"Tired?"

I looked to him. "No shit."

He raised his arms in surrender. "I was just asking. No need to get snappy."

"You would be snappy if you had to get up at three in the morning to help a pregnant women piss."

He looked at me, wiggling his eyebrows. "You don't know what I do at three in the morning."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, your probably ... Molesting yourself."

Jake shook his head, throwing his arms over his head in frustration. "Fuck, Anna, do you always have to do that?"

I bit my lip. "I'm sorry if I don't imagine my boyfriend at three in the morning doing normal things, or being like me and doing crosswords and watching old re-runs of friends so I can see how many times the vein that pops out of Courtney Cox's head shows itself but my boyfriend is a wolf that has needs that I don't fulfil and can only be fulfilled by his right hand."

Jake smirked, shaking his head as he rolled his eyes as he wrapped a comforting arm around me, pulling me closer to his body. "Your a freak."

"So says the wolf."

He's right, you are a freak.

You know what to do with my self esteem, don't you, conscience?

It's not my fault your self esteem's shit - it's not my problem.

Aren't my problems your problems?

No.

I'm just the commentator.

I know that.

You've been commentating for my whole life.

It's quite depressing, really.

Your whole life's depressing.

Your getting annoying.

"Do you think Bella's going to die?" I whispered, my voice not any louder for the fear I wouldn't be able to et the words out from my lips, my eyes focused on the green moss that was growing on the bland grey of the rocks that surrounded us so I would not have to see the face of my boyfriend, and the man whom once dedicated himself to everything that was Bella.

Once?

Or still?

I felt Jake stiffen against me, and I turned to him - cocking my brow, debating with myself if I should ask him the dreaded question that seemed to be plaguing my mind for the past couple of days.

The question, in itself, should have been easy. I should have been able to say it - I would have before I met Jake. I would have.

Yet I couldn't.

It was like my lips were glued shut, forbidden to say what my conscience was nagging me to.

Just say it, you wimp.

And then I did.

In my ever so subtle way.

"Do you want to fuck Bella!"

Fuck.

Oh.

Holy.

Shit.

Are.

You.

Fucking.

Serious?

Did.

You.

Just.

Ask.

Your.

Werewolf.

Boyfriend.

If.

He.

Wanted.

To.

Fuck.

Your.

Pregnant.

Cousin?

I give up. Your on your own.

Forever.

I'm ignoring you.

Good.

You can fuck up your life without my help.

He sprung up from where he was sitting, a look of absolute horror overcoming his perplexed features as his mouth sat agape, shock overcoming him as he frantically shook his head like a dog who was trying to get water out of his ear.

"WHAT! THAT'S DIGUSTING! SHE'S PREGNANT WITH A VAMPIRES CHILD, WHY WOULD I - URGH, DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK I COULD EVEN, NOT WHEN I HAVE, URGH - WHY CAN'T YOU GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK HEAD!"

He didn't deny it.

Your boyfriend wants to fuck your pregnant cousin.

Maybe you'll have to buy a farm and become the epitome of a red neck, and then maybe this situation might seem normal.

This situation will never, ever be normal.

He turned away from me, shaking his head as he ruffled his hair in what I'm sure was frustration and I bit my lip. "So that's a no?"

"Yes, it's a fucking no."

I nodded, sitting back down, looking back up at him. "Okay."

He turned back around, furious. "Why would you even think that? I'm with you, Anna, no one else."

"Then why are you like that with Bella?"

His eyebrows furrowed. "What do you mean?"

I shrugged. "I mean, you act like I'm not there. That I'm not your girlfriend, and that Bella isn't dying."

He scoffed. "Your imagining things."

I narrowed my eyes, standing up. "I'm not imagining everything, Jacob Black."

His jaw locked, and we lapsed into one of the most uncomfortable silences that had ever befallen me.

"I'm sorry." I muttered, and I knew he heard it, yet he still remained in the stance of anger. "But you don't know what it's like watching your boyfriend look at someone else the way he does, while knowing that he once loved her. It's unnerving, and fucking annoying."

Jacob shook his head, chuckling darkly.

Chuckling darkly?

How can someone chuckle darkly?

Is it kind of like 'mwahhhahah' rather than just a normal 'hahahahahaha'?

I'm ignoring you.

"Yeah, I don't know what it's like watching my boyfriend look at someone like that."

I rolled my eyes, throwing the first thing my fingers could grab at him.

It happened to be a rock the size of my fist.

I think we need to join you up to some anger management classes.

Your dangerous.

So, so dangerous.

Your going to kill someone one day.

If you already haven't.

Are you keeping something from me?

I looked back down to the floor, running a hand through my tangled mess of hair. "One day I'm going to kill you."

"I don't doubt that," He muttered, sitting back down with me and I sighed, leaning back into his chest as I felt my anger dissolve. "Your still mad?"

I nodded. "Well your not helping the situation."

"I didn't think I was."

I shook my head, chastely kissing his cheek and I felt a blush spread across my cheeks. "You can be so annoying, sometimes."

He smirked. "That's what makes me great."

"That's what pisses me off."

We sat in silence for a moment, before he turned to me. "I have to tell you something."

I raised my eyebrows. "What?"

Jake exhaled a rattled breath. "You know how I'm a wolf, right?"

"WHAT!" I exclaimed, a mocking smile on my face. "When did this happen?"

He rolled his eyes. "Okay, listen - I'll explain it differently. Well, do you know how Emily and Sam are together?" I nodded. "Well, do you know how Emily is Leah's cousin?"

I nodded. "Where is this going, Jake?"

"Just listen, woman. Anyway, a couple of years ago before Sam phased, he was with Leah."

My eyes went wide. "Betrayal! What a douche! So what happened?"

"If you'd stop interrupting, I'd tell you." He said impatiently, rolling his eyes and I sighed, dejected but I shut up. "Leah and Sam were sure to get married, and I'm pretty sure Sue had started planning a non-existent wedding. But Sam phased and because he was the first one, he had to rely on the Elder's advice, which was all based on Legends. And one day, Leah's cousin - Emily - came to La Push, and he imprinted on Emily."

My eyes widened in confusion. "Wait, like penguins?"

"Kind of." He said, before ruffling his hair. "When a wolf imprints on someone, it's like everything stops. Like gravity's no longer holding you here, but she is. Imprinting is finding your soul mate, and you basically can't control it. Your tied to them forever."

"So Sam imprinted on Emily?" I asked, and Jake nodded. "What happened to Leah?"

"Well, Sam had to break up with her. The bond with Emily was too strong, and that basically turned Leah into a royal bitch. Emily and Sam were, and are meant for each other - they couldn't ignore it."

I hit his chest, shaking my head. "I swear, if you ever did that to me I would become a royal bitch before cutting your balls off."

He nodded. "I don't doubt it."

"You don't doubt stuff when violence and me are involved, do you?"

He shook his head. "I learnt to do that when you beat me with a baseball bat."

"Not when I hit you with a car?"

He smirked. "I thought that was accidental."

"It wasn't. It was apart of my master plan."

He smiled. "When are you going to tell me about tis master plan?"

I shrugged. "When the time comes, young one."

"I'm older than you!" He protested and I rolled my eyes.

"So what happened to Emily's face then?"

He looked down at me, meeting my eyes with confusion. "That's really what you want to know?" I nodded and he ruffled his hair. "Sam got angry, lost control, and phased in front of her. She was too close."

Serves her right.

Karma's a bitch.

Chicks before dicks - it's the universal law among women.

She should have stuck to it.

I bit my lip. "That's ironic."

He looked to me, shaking his head in disappointment. "I can't believe you just said that."

"I can't believe Emily did that. To Leah, of all people."

"Sam imprinted on her - they couldn't help what happens."

I shrugged. "That's just how I feel. They could have given Leah the respect of waiting a few months before getting together."

Jacob sighed. "You and Leah share the same brain."

I shuddered. "I just don't like what they did. I'm sure a lot of people wouldn't agree with what they did, even if Sam did imprint - it was still wrong. It doesn't mean we've got the same brain."

We sat in silence for a moment before I sighed, looking back at Jacob. "So can all wolves do this, or is it just the alpha?"

"All of the wolves." Jake said.

I raised a brow. "Who has?"

"Sam on Emily, Paul on Rachel, Jared on Kim, and Quil on Claire-"

I shot up, disgusted s my stomach churned at the thought of Quil in love with the tiny little girl. "What!"

Jake shook his head, pulling me back down to where he was sitting. "It's not what you think. The wolf is anything that the imprint wants him to be. A lover, a friend, a brother, and in Quil's case - it's a babysitter. He doesn't nor won't think of Claire like that for years. I've been in his mind, and I know he doesn't think of Claire like that."

"That's still weird," I muttered, and Jake smirked.

"When has anything ever been normal?"

I gnawed at my lip, before asking him the dreaded question. "Have you imprinted on anyone?"

He was about to open him mouth when a howl pierced the air.

Fucking Wolves.


Here is another chapter for you all!

I know, I know - don't kill me, but I was at my best friends for the week and then after that I had the biggest and most severe case of mental block that was intertwined with work and my renewed Harry potter fanfic obsession. (I never stopped being obsessed, I was just preocupied.) I also really wanted to ask you guys a favor, since were in the post christmas spirit.

Please, please check out my other story - the tale of two hogwarts lovers. It's a story about Scarlett Grindelwald, the daughter of the famous an ddreaded Gerllet, whom memory she's had to run away from her entire life while living a dreaded exsistance with her Aunt, Bathilda Bagshot. The story starts in her first year, where she befriends Lily Evans and hates Sirius Black.

I know, I know - sounds generic, but it is actually quite suprising. I love that story, and yes, most of it I wrote on my Iphone so it's got alot of grammar errors but I will be fixing that.

Please, you guys would be doing me a huge favor.

And I know, this chapter isn't my best. Like I said, I have had major writers block and I couldn't decide on some things, so this was what you guys get. Yeah, I know - don't hate me for it.

Oh, and by the by - do you like the fact that I have now changed the rating to M? Hmmmmmm, that could only mean one thing...

Seth and Jacob are finally going to realise they're feelings and get together!

How did you guys know!

Anyways, I just wanted to give in to the fact you were all asking for some private time between the two and I was getting there, slowly, I'll admitt - but I'm sticking to the story line. Also, just wanted to tell you but I can't remember if I told you in the last chapter, but this story is going to stick to everything.

Apart from Jake imprinting on Renesmee.

Everything will be revealed in due time.

Oh, and how was your New Year everybody? I hope it was great, I didn't have a good one. But that was because I was around drunk idiots who wanted me to join a conga line.

It was a family event, I'll admitt that much.

Anyways, just thought I should give you a chapter that you wanted and have been asking for. And by the way guys, can you believe that we've got 355 reviews? That's INSANE!

JHBHBJHASBJSBVHFBVJHABFHBHBDB BFJKbjkbjkfbbfavbabhv

That's how insane it is.

It's making my head hurt.

Anyway, do you guys realise how kind you have been to me? It really is surprising. Mind blowing. It's huge. So, I thank all of you. I bow to you!

So I hope you guys have a safe and happy rest of your holidays, but I hope you still:

REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!