Chapter 29: Animal I Have Become (3 Days Grace): Somebody help me through this nightmare, I can't control myself. Somebody wake me from this nightmare, I can't escape this hell. So what if you can see the darkest side of me? No one will ever change this animal I have become. Help me believe it's not the real me. Somebody help me tame this animal I have become.

000

This was who he'd stolen her from.

Except...this wasn't the guy he'd heard of, he didn't appear to be anything like they'd made him out to be, but somehow he knew why. He knew how easy it was to feel invincible when she was in your arms. How the problems of the world seemed like nothing more than specs of sand on the beach as long as she was walking alongside of you while you were on it. They both had known that feeling but the difference between himself and Panther was that he'd taken her for granted...something that the vulpine would never do.

He'd lost her to him and had become this. Defeated. Humbled. Left with nothing in his life but the friends and happiness that his money could buy him...and judging by the looks of things even that had failed. Now he knew why the cat had said it was impossible to fix his problem, and he had to agree. Krystal would never again share any aspect of her life with him, not while the vulpine still had a breath in his body to love her with. She was his and his alone now, and even though he didn't want this guy to kill himself over the vixen he knew he'd be happy to do the honors if he dared to step between them.

"Fox McCloud." he finally muttered, holding the vulpine's gaze with a dark look in his eyes. "That's your name isn't it?"

"Panther." he answered after nodding, already feeling the static that clashed between the two of them as they both allowed the realization of who they were facing to sink in. "Caroso."

Here they stood, two guys who loved the same vixen more than they did life itself. One of them had ruined his chances and wanted nothing more than a second try, while the other had every intention of keeping her his and his alone now that he finally had her...and overall, both were willing to do anything it took to keep true to their objectives. For months they had been on each others thoughts, though no face could accompany the body of the one they hated for having her. But that hate, that disdain, anger and envy, it was felt towards the other almost constantly in the back of their minds. They didn't have to know each other to have those feelings, it just came natural with loving her.

But now that they had met...now that they were finally face to face and able to do something about it all...those feelings had a chance to escape.

He had no idea what Panther would try to do, but he wasn't worried. To fight against someone in this state would be pitifully unfair. He was out of shape, sleep deprived, exhausted from lack of food and rest, and soaked to the bone. Only one of those factors applied to the vulpine and he knew he could adapt to it if needed. Fighting was in his blood, perfected by the military, and enhanced significantly when it was in the name of the sapphire fox that he loved so crazily.

If this guy wanted revenge, if he wanted to take out his anger on Fox for his own mistakes, then he'd be ready. Honestly he'd been wanting to face off with Panther since day one, knowing that he had a good ass kicking coming for treating not only Krystal so badly, but everyone else he had come into contact with over the past few years. It didn't matter how much he'd changed since she left him...those scars still remained and that debt needed to be paid for. He'd hurt her too many times.

Seconds passed but he found it impossible to count them, choosing instead to relax himself and hold onto the cat's gaze through the easing rain. He knew Panther was weighing his options, and was probably just as aware that he had no chance in hell at besting the vulpine now...or ever. And perhaps it was that realization that finally broke the silence between them, the cat holding his line of sight a few seconds more before letting out a sigh and looking away.

"Is she happy?" he asked suddenly, taking him by surprise.

Another clap of thunder rocketed over their heads but he ignored it, still doing his best to get a better read on Panther's face. Part of him expected the cat to try and lull him into a false sense of security, only to strike out in an attempt to get the upper hand. But another part of him just didn't see that happening. Yes, for a second there had been a look of hate in his eyes, and the intention to hurt the vulpine had been there just as well...but it had faded, if only a little.

Just answer him for now.

"Yes." he said calmly, loosening his stance, "And I intend for her to stay that way the rest of her life."

Once again he was surprised by Panther's reaction, this time the cat allowing a smile to tug on the corners of his mouth as he took in the vulpine's words. Whether or not he believed them, he wasn't sure. But they were the truth, of that he did know. And if the day ever came when she wasn't happy then he'd waste no time doing whatever it took to change that.

"I guess..." the cat replied softly, opening his hands and looking down at them as they caught the rain, "That's all I ever wanted for her."

Is...is he okay with it?

After saying it he clenched his fists, causing the vulpine to stiffen in preparation as he watched them shake in what could have either been anger or despair. What it was that would happen he had no idea, but he was ready. The night had gone to hell and back, and that he'd be out here talking to this panther, and telling him these words...it seemed more than farfetched, but he was still ready for it. He'd take whatever was served his way, regardless of how easy or hard it was, if only to finally get everything in his life back on track.

Panther had been ready to kill himself minutes ago and that still proved something wasn't right. To be in that desperate of a shape, for his mind to be in that type of condition at this point, it meant that anything could happen. The vulpine had already pegged the cat as mentally unstable simply based on what he'd been told by Katt and everyone else, so with Krystal leaving him and cutting his whole world down to size...it had to have put him on the brink of insanity.

He looked down as the cat released his hands, just barely being able to make out the blood that dripped from them in the darkness.

I guess not.

"But who are you..." he spoke up, turning and meeting the vulpine's gaze, "Who are you to take her from me?"

"I didn't take her from anyone." he replied calmly, faintly noticing that the rain had all but stopped as the sky started to clear off, "Especially you."

The look of disbelief on Panther's face lasted only a second before he allowed a small, twisted smile to tug on his lips. It was then that he was able to confirm his previous assumptions about the cat. There was something wrong with him. Had he been even halfway normal before all of this it was nowhere to be seen now, and the vulpine was barely able to refrain a shiver of discomfort as he thought about what could be running through the mind of the animal before him.

"So she's still mine then." he answered, turning around and putting his hands behind his head. "That's great."

"Not in this world." the vulpine spoke coldly, issuing a low growl afterward for emphasis.

If he thinks there's a chance in hell she's still his then I'll waste no time in proving him otherwise.

"What about my world then?" the cat retorted, still looking off into the ocean and allowing the blood to run from his hands and down his neck. "Can I have her there? Or are you going to ruin that too?"

"I didn't ruin anything."

"You took her from me!" he yelled, turning around and clenching his fists again, "She was mine and you stole her! You had no right-

"I didn't steal her." the vulpine answered sternly, allowing his right leg to slide back a little as he took precaution. "You just lost her."

"Lost her?" Panther asked with a faked expression of humor, "I didn't lose her! I know exactly where she's at every second of the day! I can find her any time-

He was unable to stop what happened next. He was barely able to hold himself back from beating the hell out of the cat right then and there, but he could not prevent the deep growl of hate and protection from escaping his throat, the cat's eyes slowly narrowing as he turned back around and met his gaze. It was obvious he'd crossed a line by saying something like that. To him it had been more than a threat, it had been reason enough to kill him. Panther had basically just implied that he'd been stalking his mate, his vixen, his property...and that was something you just didn't do. She was his to protect, the mark on her neck proved as much.

And after another second, as the look in the cat's eyes slowly began to hint fear and regret, the vulpine knew he'd figured that out.

"What are you going to do...kill me?" he asked, cracking a smile as he heard the growl grow more intense. "You wouldn't let me do that a few minutes ago. Why the sudden change of heart?"

"You stay away from her." he muttered coldly, his voice dark and filled with malice, "Or I will kill you."

"What's wrong?" the cat asked, unfazed by the vulpine's threat, "Did I strike a nerve? Is Foxy mad?"

The growl grew even sharper at this and he found himself cracking his hands open in anger, the knowledge that came with fighting like a soldier leaving him, only to be replaced with the instinctive beast-like power that resided deep within. He knew what Panther was doing...just edging him on, and for two possible reasons. The first was to blind his judgment, to cause him to lash out and do to the cat what he'd been trying to do to himself earlier. To kill him. That was one possibility.

The other was that Panther thought the angrier he could get him the better his chances would be at besting him right here and now. But that would also end horribly for him, of that he was sure. The more the cat talked, the more he grinned and acted like he was untouchable, that he could still do anything and everything to Krystal that he wanted...the more of that he heard, the more it made the vulpine's blood boil. Now he knew that Panther had never loved her as much as he did, for if he had then he would have been in a similar state the second he thought he was going to lose her.

Don't let him get to you. He's just trying to piss you off because you're the only one he can blame his fucked up life on.

It was all fake. It seemed that Panther was just one big lie, never showing the real side of himself. Even when he was hurt it was never what it seemed to be. Minutes ago he had been humbled, willing to accept his mistakes and atone for all he had done. He'd realized it was all his fault that things turned out the way they did, that he had no one to blame but himself. He had been ready to kill himself for losing her, and even though it would have ended his life, it would have at least been on a slightly better note than what he'd once shown.

But no sooner had he realized just who it was that had kept him from killing himself did all of that change. After learning that he was face to face with Fox McCloud, the guy who'd replaced him in the vixen's life, who'd taken away his happiness, his whole world, he turned right back into his old self. Now there was someone else to blame it on. Now there was a way to vent, to get some of that pain out of his system and reflected onto another body.

Onto Fox.

"C'mon, kill me!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands over his head and grinning, "It's not like I've got anything to live for anyways. You took all of that away from me."

Don't do it. He's messing with you.

He knew better than to give in to the game, but it was still hard not to oblige to the cat's request. For saying what he had earlier, it still made the vulpine shake with rage. He'd threatened her! It wasn't direct, but it was there. And that he'd done that, that he'd said such things...and the vulpine knowing that it was probably true, that he did know where she worked, where she lived, what time she left on each day...and that he couldn't be there to protect her the whole time...it left his mind with only one real solution.

How could he ever leave her side again without knowing Panther might be watching from a distance? How could he ever get anything done at work, or even leave her to take a shower, without worrying constantly that this guy wouldn't try something?

The answer was simple.

Kill him.

Had he been in a perfect mindset he would have called the idea outrageous and crazy...but he wasn't. Right now, with every word Panther spoke, with the smug look on his face and that glare in his eyes, it kept the vulpine as what he was. An animal. Krystal was his. Not Panther's.

His.

She belonged to him. She was his property. It was his mark on her neck, and hers on his own. It was his scent that had bonded with hers and told everyone that she was taken, that she had a mate; one who was willing to rip anyone and everyone to shreds, to kill as many as necessary, to do whatever it took, just to make sure that his vixen was safe.

Panther had never felt that way for her, but if things didn't change soon then he'd be experiencing the effects of it.

"If you don't..." he went on, lowering his head and smirking, "then I'm just assuming it's okay for me to try and fix things. I'll just find her and-

Before he could finish the vulpine had his hand around the cat's throat, his claws digging into the dark fur until they nearly drew blood. But he didn't stop there. They had been at the edge of the beach, on the sidewalk and the buildings that along it. Without hesitation he turned and slammed the cat into the side of one of them, the look of amazement, fear, disbelief, and even slight satisfaction evident in Panther's gaze as he looked down at the animal beneath him.

What he saw told him his life hung in the balance then, but he didn't feel much fear from that realization. This was what he wanted after all. To bring forth the beast that was inside of the vulpine, to cause one final act of pain before he ended the tragic play that had become his life. He knew he'd never get her back, regardless of what went down tonight, and that in the end he'd die one way or the other. But there was still a way to take this guy down with him, to make him hurt and suffer for stealing her from him.

Murder was murder, regardless of the circumstances. Saying he was 'angry' in front of a jury wouldn't justify killing someone.

And judging by what he was looking down at right now, he figured death wouldn't be but a few more sentences away.

"C'mon..." he choked, grinning and looking down at the enraged fox before him, "Kill me. Kill me or I'll go after her. I'll get her. She'll be mine again, she'll-

The cat gasped in desperation as the vulpine's hand pressed even harder against his throat, cutting off what little air he could still manage to breath in. But he didn't struggle against him, he didn't fight against the hand on his neck, not because he knew he wouldn't win, but because this was exactly what he wanted.

He wasn't Fox McCloud anymore, that personality had disappeared the second he'd heard him threaten her. But what he'd turned into since then...he wasn't sure.

Just thinking about Panther holding true to his word, of him watching and stalking her at all times of the day, planning to do something when the vulpine wasn't there to protect her...it triggered a feeling inside him he'd never felt before. Simply the idea of this cat hurting her, in addition to how much he already had, it brought forth a change in the vulpine...

"I'll...have her." he choked, still grinning down at the fox, "You can't stop me. I'll get her...I'll-

By now all rational thinking had seemingly left him, his heart and mind choosing instead to let the protective beast that was taking over his physical appearance also control the mental aspects of him. Before this he would have considered himself to have had more self control than most...and concerning any other aspect of the world, he did.

But when it came to her...when Krystal was the center of it all...it got his full attention and he held nothing back.

"I'll steal her back..." the cat coughed, still crazily smiling at the transforming creature before him, "You'll never...have her...again...

His eyes were all but completely white now and his fangs were bared and ready to tear into Panther's throat at the smallest of orders from his distraught mind. His claws had seemingly grown longer and sharper and his entire body coursed with unbelievable strength as he felt the veins in his neck pulse into his arms and down through his legs, his muscles tightening and flexing more than they'd ever had. His physical appearance was one of raw power and emotion, and he grew closer and closer to his instinctive animal side with every thought that was battled out in his head.

He knew what he was turning into, he'd heard about it happening to others before. Out of anger, out of sorrow, or in this case...out of love. They were all beings of a domesticated animal based race, but that didn't change the root of it all. Domesticated yes. But animals all the same. Creatures able to resort to their basic instincts, to kill and protect what needed killing and protecting, and casting away rational thought in the middle of it.

That's what was happening now. It wasn't that he couldn't stop himself from killing Panther...he just didn't want to. To him, this was a threat to his property, to the one he loved with every fiber of his being. And if that was the case, if it was possible for this animal to hurt her...then he had to be removed.

"I...can't live without...her." he managed to gasp, somehow forcing that same smug grin, "I've...got...to...have her...or die...

But as he pressed even further at this, knowing that the satisfying 'crack' that came with snapping one's neck was growing closer and closer with every second, he managed to pull one last strand of rational thought from his beast-like state of mind. Somehow realizing just what he was about to do and the repercussions that would ultimately follow...and who would come out on top in the end, even if they were dead.

No...stop...don't do it!

KILL HIM! BREAK HIS NECK! SNAP IT IN HALF!

It's what he wants...don't fall for it!

HE'LL HURT HER. NO ONE HURTS HER! SHE'S MINE! I'LL KILL ANYONE WHO TRIES TO HURT HER!

He's messing with you.

AND IF HE'S NOT? JUST DO IT! LOOK! HE WANTS TO DIE! BREAK HIS FUCKING NECK! WIPE THAT GRIN OFF HIS FACE FOR GOOD!

If you do this it will ruin everything.

I MUST PROTECT HER! THIS WILL FIX IT ALL! KILL HIM!

Please...

JUST CLOSE YOUR HAND...

Fight it...

...AND RIP HIS FUCKING THROAT OPEN!

You'll destroy everything.

KILL ANYONE WHO WANTS TO HURT HER! KILL HIM! KILL HIM! KILL HIM!

You'll destroy her.

The last piece of rational thought that managed to combat the animal inside of him just happened to be the one that sparked the change. For that one moment, after hearing his own mind tell him that, he pictured the vixen...alone...after being told what he'd done and what would become of him for it. He imagined living the rest of his life without her, he saw the tears that would run down her face and felt the pain that came from knowing he was the one responsible for them.

What's the point in killing him if it means losing her?

But if I don't kill him...

We can protect her.

If he's still alive...

She'll be safe. As long as she has us to be there for her.

For another few seconds he battled it out with the beast inside of him, his outward appearance having already started to display the victor of his thoughts. His eyes slowly reappeared from behind the curtain of whiteness that had arrived along with the animal he'd transformed into, while at the same time his claws seemed to retract and lose their edge, remaining around Panther's throat for only a moment more before he threw his arm back, allowing the cat to fall to the ground and gasp in pain.

His whole body felt hot and he only faintly noticed the rips on the edge of his shirt and shorts from where his muscles had stretched the stitching past it's limit, only justifying how powerful of a beast he could become when it came to this...when it came to Krystal.

His breathing was still fast and irregular though it was slowly beginning to calm and return to normal, but the same couldn't be said for the headache that now consumed his skull, or the pain he felt in the paw that had been free while going through all of this. Slowly he turned it over and opened it up, using the light of the full moon that had made itself known in order to look over the blood that dripped from his palm.

What happened to me? That thing talking...telling me to kill him...was it in my head? Was that me?

The sound of a pitiful cough drew his attention back around and he found his gaze resting on the cause of all this. Not just what happened tonight, but for all the trouble the past few years had brought upon them. Looking him over the vulpine realized he had come far too close for comfort, the marks he had left in the cat's neck with his beastly claws having been more like gashes as they continued to drip blood onto the cold, wet cement.

I had been ready to kill him. I was really going to do it wasn't I?

He'd known all along he'd go this far for her, but that he'd actually have to prove it, that such a situation would actually be brought up...and so soon at that...it only made all of this harder to take in. Here he stood on the edge of the beach in the middle of the night, one paw covered in his own blood, the other dripping with that of Panther Caroso, all the while the cat lay before him on the ground gasping and sputtering in an attempt to get over the injury he'd just suffered at the hands of the vulpine. This shouldn't have happened. Things shouldn't have gone this way...not tonight...not ever.

But now that they had, now that fate had played it's hand on him, he knew he had no choice but to move forward with it. Just as he'd done his entire life.

"C'mon..." the cat managed to say, spitting up blood as he struggled up into a sitting position. "Finish what you started...end my pain...so yours can begin."

This time it was his turn to allow a grin to overtake him, only getting a look of defeat and hate in return from the wounded animal below him. The moment had passed. What had happened earlier was...an accident. He had let his emotions get the better of him and take control, just long enough to let Panther's words get inside and rattle the cage of the monster that resided within. He'd allowed the love and obsession he had for Krystal, for his mate, to cloud his common sense. It was all for her, to make sure her life was safe and she was protected and alive.

But sometimes being alive wasn't always the best outcome...not if the one you loved wasn't there to share it with you.

I realize that now.

"As much as I'd love to..." he finally spoke, looking up at the full moon and narrowing his gaze, "I think I'll pass."

Did I really turn into that...thing? Was that real?

I really do love her that much then.

"Fine!" the cat yelled, half crazily while at the same time coughing up another spot of blood, "But that means I'll still be here...watching...waiting...

It's passed now...all that matters is it's over. That thing...that monster I almost let out...it's gone.

The vulpine closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath of the ocean breeze that followed the storm and allowing his mind to bring up the memory of the day he and the vixen had been out in that very same water, holding onto each other, fighting back the pain and enduring the love they felt while they left their mark on each other.

And he smiled.

"I told you I'd keep going after her. Every day...

He remembered the look in her eyes after they'd done it, the image having been burnt into his mind for life as it was perhaps one of the most beautiful things he'd ever seen. Her smile, her gorgeous smile...her body up against his own, holding onto him...all the while the blood trickled down her shoulder and into the water...it was unforgettable.

"You won't be able to sleep...you won't be able to eat...

He could almost feel her tongue now, running softly and tenderly up his neck as she licked the wound clean, never stopping until she was sure she had taken care of her mate. Then...after it had all been said and done...she looked up at him once more, allowing a smile to come over her as she placed a paw on the side of his face, trusting him to keep them both afloat as she leaned forward and kissed him as she had so many times before.

And he realized, as another gust of wind brought that same scent back to him, that he wanted to feel that.

Now.

He started to turn away, only stopping to think over one last idea as he heard Panther's voice in the background.

"Day after day...night after night...I'll be there...I'll-

The vulpine once again smiled to himself as he heard the sound of the cat's head smacking the ground, calmly lowering his foot back to the pavement before falling to one knee and admiring his kick.

K.O.

He didn't know what would end up happening, but he figured there might still be one chance at some good luck coming their way out of this. He pulled out his phone and used the light from it to look over the marks on the cat's neck, once more getting to admire the work he'd done to him while under the influence of the animal he could become.

What he found was fortunate. Panther would live, though he'd have trouble breathing right for a few days. But more importantly there were no signs of the vulpine's presence as a result. He continued to look over the cat's body, finding no stray hairs or specs of blood that he knew were his own, probably thanks to both the rain and soaked condition of them both. He looked over the surrounding area and once again counted his blessings, noticing the wet concrete had done an amazing job at hiding any and all traces of what had went down.

Without waiting any longer he grabbed the cat by the back of his jeans and the collar of his shirt, hoisting him up and making sure not to rub against him as he carried his body a good twenty yards down the sidewalk before dropping him. Then, saying a quick prayer and sighing relief as it was answered, he reached into Panther's shorts and found his phone, composing a mental message before dialing the number.

"Cornerian City dispatch, what's your emergency?"

"Some guy, a panther, tried to kill himself out on the pier! Then he tried it again out on the sidewalk by the beach."

"Sir what's your location and how badly is he injured?"

"I followed him from the pier down to Ron Jon's. That's where he's at now, and it looks pretty bad. What should I do?"

"Stay there sir, I've got help on the way. Is there anyone else hurt? Are you okay?"

"Yes I think so. I'm just shaken up...this guy...he tried to choke himself to death...I didn't know what to do..."

"It's okay sir, just stay put. Help is on the way."

"Okay, thank you. Thank you so much I can't tell you-

Figuring he'd said enough the vulpine snapped the phone shut, hoping they'd assume the call was dropped or something of the sort. He turned and started to run down the sidewalk, knowing he needed to get out of sight, and fast. What would happen now, he didn't know. But based on what the officials knew, and the evidence he'd planted already, it would be hard for Panther to escape this one. It was as he passed a trashcan that the vulpine pulled out the cat's phone, taking a second to break it in half before throwing it away.

I didn't kill him, and because of that I have no idea what he'll try to do to us. But I do know one thing. We can survive it. I'll protect her. I'll keep her safe no matter what.

Even if I have to let that monster out of me again.

In the distance he could hear the nearing cry of an ambulance, and even further behind that came the siren of a squad car, but at this point he was well enough out of view. He still had a good twenty minutes of walking time ahead of him before he reached the apartment, which seemed like an eternity after all of this. Though it had only been two hours at most, it felt like a week since he'd been there...since he'd gotten to see her and hold her in his arms.

Whatever ended up happening to Falco, he honestly didn't care at this point. Part of him figured the bird-brained idiot had literally went out and bought a wedding ring for Katt just as he'd promised...and that wouldn't surprise him in the least. Another part of him thought it possible that he could still run into the bird somewhere out here despite what Krystal had told him. Knowing her she could have just been worried about him and wanted the vulpine to return to the apartment.

Well I'm on my way now, and when I get there I don't know if I'll ever leave again.

It hadn't lasted more a couple of minutes...but what had come over him back there was something he'd never forget. Truthfully he'd always thought it was a myth thought up by parents to scare their children, but now he knew otherwise.

All it had taken was a few words from Panther, just him indicating that he'd find Krystal, that he'd hurt her and take the vixen from him...after hearing that there was no going back. He had been fortunate that his mind had regained control for if that animal had been allowed to do what instinct told it to...there's no telling how bad things would have looked.

I know what type of animal I can become, but if it's for her then will I always be able to stop it?

It's over...just forget about it. Get back to her now, before anything else goes wrong.

000