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"Ms. Porter, Ms. Porter!"
I almost didn't hear the cries of little Jimmy over the clicking of my high-heeled shoes against the linoleum floor. Immediately, I stopped and turned around, swinging my bag of files down from my shoulder.
Jimmy was one of my favorite students, and most adorable. He looked like a cartoon character with his striped shirts and cute, little khaki pants. His bright blonde hair was bouncing on top of his head as his little legs ran towards me down the hall. A smile spread across my face and I crouched down to reach his height as he got to where I was standing.
"Ms. Porter, my mommy wanted me to give you a congratulations card," he said, breathing heavily.
I gave him a playful glare. "Jimmy, you said you would practice."
He rolled his eyes. "Do I hafta?"
I laughed. "Of course you do!"
Jimmy sighed but lifted up his hands. And slowly, but surely, he said the sentence over again in complete sign language. I watched carefully for any mistakes and made sure to guide his hands. Once he was finished, he beamed at me, and I smiled back at his toothless grin.
"You're getting much better, Jimmy," I reassured him.
He scuffed his foot. "Aw, but the rest of the class is a lot better than me."
"That's because they need to know it more than you. You still have some time before—." He stared up at me. "You know…before—you have to know it."
"Yeah," he said. And with that he twisted the knobs on his hearing pieces up a notch so as to hear me better. "I guess you're right."
"I know I'm right," I teased, gently poking me in the chest.
He smiled again.
"Well, I should go, Jimmy. And so should you! Your mother's going to be here soon!"
He put his hands to his head. "You're right! I have to get my backpack."
I laughed. "I'll wait for you right here while you go get it."
He signed "Thank you" to me in sign language and then ran back down the hallway.
"Poor Jimmy," I thought to myself. "He doesn't even understand what's happening to him."
But I did.
Jimmy's mother had told me at the beginning of the year that an infection was taking over Jimmy's hearing. It started when he was born, and it begun to spread to his ears. The doctors informed Jimmy's mother that he would need hearing aids for the beginning years of his life, but by the time he was six, he would be permanently deaf. Hearing aids would not be able to help that.
At that, I looked down at the card Jimmy had given me. It was hand-made by him, clearly, and I smiled down at the picture.
It was of a scribbled bride and groom, standing before the altar, hand-in-hand. The hands were boxes with little lines coming out of them, representing their fingers. The bride was wearing a white dress with purple scribbles across it, her dark, brown hair in curls on top of her head. The groom was comically taller than the bride, his suit much too short for him, which happened to match the purple of the bride's dress. Jimmy had randomly drawn flowers throughout his picture.
I opened the card and on the inside Jimmy had written, "Congrats on your engagement, Ms. Porter! Love, Jimmy!"
As I closed the card, Jimmy came running back to me from my classroom. "Okay, I'm ready!" he cried out.
"Okay!"
And he grabbed my hand as we walked out the front entrance of the school together.
I was sitting in the coffee shop, my head in my sign language book. I had been fluent in sign language for three years, but every so often, I liked going back to the intermediate level to remind myself of certain words.
After DePaul, I had gone to New York to get my Master's Degree in teaching. I went to school for two years, got my degree, and then applied to various schools for the deaf in New York to get a job.
I was truly blessed when I got the job at a school for grades kindergarten to sixth grade that was only a couple blocks from my apartment. I loved my job; I never got sick of it. The kids were what kept me going every day and I loved every single one of them. It was hard not to feel terrible for them, but at the same time, all of them were so strong and willing to learn all that they could. It had been two years since I was first hired.
"Corie!"
I looked up from my book.
"Mike!"
I stood up and held my arms out for my fiancée.
His short brownish red hair glowed in the sunlight of the restaurant. Dressed still in his work clothes, his tall, skinny frame was enough to make my heart stir. Without looking at anyone around him, he scooped me up into his arms and kissed me firmly on the lips.
After we parted, he stared me in the face, and I lightly touched the freckles on his cheeks. "Hi, babe," I whispered.
"Hi, beautiful." He kissed me once more and then set me on the ground.
"You're late," I chastised him jokingly as we took our seats in the armchairs.
He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, okay. And you're the most punctual person ever?"
I scoffed. "Excuse me? I am never late!"
"Bullshit!"
We both started laughing. "I can't believe I'm marrying you. You are the biggest ass in the world."
"Come on," Mike said, "that's why you love me."
I rolled my eyes. "Exactly. That's how you swept me off my feet two years ago."
"The best day of your life was when you met me at that bar. Don't even try to deny it."
I laughed, but I got quiet very quickly. A flash of a memory crossed my mind, and I tried my hardest to ignore it.
"You okay?" Mike asked, the smile still on his face.
A flash of swaying trees in the wind. A whisper: "This is the best day of my life."
"Corie?"
I looked up and saw that Mike was no longer smiling.
"What?" I nervously chuckled.
"Are you okay? You got all spacey there for a second."
I shook my head, as if to get the memory out of my head. More importantly, I did not want it to go any further, in case I saw a specific face.
"Yes, I'm fine. I just keep thinking of the wedding."
Mike laughed again, and I felt immediately better. "Corie, I told you. You don't have to stress so much over it. Maggie said she's got it all covered."
"I know!" I protested. "But I feel like two months is not enough to get it all done."
"Okay, what else do you have to get done?"
I held up my hand to count off. "Menus, table cards, table assignments, gift bags, printed directions, toasts-."
"All right, so maybe that is a lot, but like I said, Maggie has got it all covered." He leaned back in his chair. "Come on, Corie, you told me yourself that the maid of honor is responsible for almost everything."
"I know," I sighed, "but I just like making sure that everything is accounted for."
He reached across the table to grab my hand. "That's because you're a perfectionist." He squeezed my fingers. "And I love that about you, but you really have to calm down. Everything's going to be okay. I promise."
And as I looked into his eyes, I knew that he was right. I always over thought everything, and that was a really big problem of mine. Two months was a long time, and I was positive that my sister was going to get everything finished in advance.
I heaved a sigh and leaned back in my chair in relief. "You're right," I breathed. "You're always right."
"I know." He grinned at me.
I looked around the shop and observed the different couples there. All of them seemed ordinary, holding hands, chatting quietly. I wondered what Mike and I looked like to everyone else. I suddenly realized that I didn't want people to call us "ordinary." I wanted to be an "extraordinary" couple.
I suddenly leaned across the table and kissed him hard on the lips. I grabbed the back of his head and pulled him closer to me. He responded to my kiss, but after ten seconds, he began to laugh.
"Corie…Corie," he said, lightly pushing me. "What the hell are you doing? People are looking at us."
"Well let them look." I pushed my lips against his again.
He laughed as he pushed me off again. "What's gotten into you? Let's at least wait until we get home, huh?"
I glanced around us and saw that there were a lot of people looking. I still didn't care, but when I looked back at Mike, I could tell he would not keep kissing me no matter how hard I tried.
"Sorry," I whispered, leaning back in my chair. "I don't know what's wrong with me."
"You're nervous for the wedding," Mike said. "I can see it in your eyes everyday. Your mind is always lingering around it."
"That's not true," I said quickly. "How can you tell?"
"I just can. Even when you said yes to my proposal, you had that look in your eyes. You always put doubt before everything, Corie. Well, listen to me." He leaned across the table and took my hand. "You have nothing to doubt anymore. You are going to be my wife, and I am going to be yours for the rest of your life. You love me, and I love you. Just remember that, and you have nothing to worry about. Okay?"
I smiled at him, which seemed like enough for he sat back in his chair, but my mind flashed back to when Mike had proposed to me.
"Is it me or do you always want to take walks in the rain?" Mike asked me.
I giggled, pulling his arm closer to me so as to have more cover from the umbrella. "You're hogging this!"
He scoffed. "Well, sorry! Geez, Ms. Bossy!"
Giggling again, my heels clicked against the wet sidewalks of New York City. It was a strangely quiet night for the city. There were not many cars out and very few people passing by us. I looked at my watch and realized that it was dinnertime. Many families were indoors, sitting at their dining tables, eating cozily among hushed conversations. The thought made me smile, and I held on tighter to Mike's arm. The rain was fairly light, but both of us could hear the rumble of thunder in the distance.
"If you want, we can go back to my apartment soon, Mike," I said hesitantly. I always loved being caught in storms. Not too many people knew that.
Mike said, "There's somewhere I want to go first." And with that he steered me sharply to the left along a darker path.
"Central Park?" I asked, realizing where we were headed. "I thought you said Central Park was overrated."
"Ehhhh, sometimes. But tonight there's something special happening."
My heart buzzed with excitement. "A concert?"
"Nah, not a concert."
"Then…what? What could possibly be happening tonight in a rainstorm? Is a movie set up?"
"Nope."
"Mike!"
He laughed. "Just wait! Dammit, you're impatient."
So I stayed silent as we walked through the twisted paths of the park. I knew right away that we were going towards the main lawn because I had always loved walking through that way. Mike never wanted to go with me.
"I don't want to be another one of the 25 million visitors that walk through here. There's nothing special about it," he had always said.
But I disagreed.
The way the park changed with every season was exquisitely beautiful. It was like it was its own personal wonderland. It gave me the chance to see the trees, which had always been my favorite thing in nature. I loved seeing their bright, vivid colors in the fall, to their supportive branches sparkling with icicles in winter, to the budding flowers in spring, to the lush, green leaves in summer time.
As Mike and I walked along the path, I glanced up at the trees that acted as a shelter for us from the heavy rain. Leaves were just starting to sprout from the buds on the branches. Every so often, soft petals would flutter down from the wind of the storm. I stared at one pink petal in particular as it landed near my foot.
A flash of a memory had crossed my mind.
His hand was on my knee. Petals were falling around us. His hand was on my face. He whispered for the first time, "I love you."
"Corie."
"What?"
I looked at Mike and saw that he had stopped. "We're here," he said cheerfully.
Looking at our surroundings, I saw that he had taken me to the middle of the central lawn. It was absolutely beautiful. I felt like we were the only two people in the city at that moment. The rain was pounding on the umbrella but sounded soft on the trees in the distance. I glanced at the buildings over the trees and felt warmth at the bright lights glaring on the windows.
I voluntarily shook the memory of the petals out of my head and looked directly into Mike's face. "This is perfect," I whispered.
His face lit up, and he grabbed my hand. "Kind of like you."
He was looking down at our clasped hands, and I immediately noticed his nerves. "Mike," I said, "what's wrong?"
Slowly, he lifted his head, as if he was regretting the decision. But when I looked into his eyes, I could see the true confirmation that he really loved me. My heart skipped a beat.
"I have to tell you something," he breathed. I almost didn't hear him over the rain.
My heart rate increased. "Okay."
"You know I am so in love with you," he said in a rush. "I love you more than anything in the world. I have told you countless times that you're the only girl I have ever felt this way with."
I was holding tightly to his hand now.
He continued. "I know we joke around a lot, but I'm serious when I say I want to be with you for the rest of my life. We've dated for so long, you're my best friend, my friends and family love you, I never get bored of being with you, and I can honestly say that I will love you as long as I am alive."
I let out a sob, and my eyes started watering. "Mike," I whispered.
He nodded at me, his eyes wide. "I love you, Corie. I always will."
"I love you, too."
He nudged the umbrella towards me. "Hold this for a second."
I grabbed onto the end, feeling anticipation.
With that, he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out the ring. It wasn't even in a case. That was Mike's way though. He always had a dramatic effect with everything he did. He wanted me to see the ring right away, so I could have no time to react. And just as quickly, he was down on one knee.
"The only thing that could make me happy is you telling me that you want to spend the rest of your life with me," Mike said. His eyes were watering now, but were still nothing compared to how hard I was crying. I could barely see him kneeling before me through all of my tears.
"Please marry me, Corie," he whispered.
"Yes!" I cried out instantly. I did not have to think about it for more than a second. "Yes, of course I'll marry you."
He flew up from his knees and had me in his arms in a second. The umbrella flew from my hands, and the rain was pouring freely onto us, soaking almost every inch of our skin. He spun me around and around, and I was laughing and crying at the same time. His laughter mingled with mine, and he held onto me as tight as he could.
And then it happened. And it only happened for a second.
I was sixteen again. And I was being spun like I was in present time. But it was a completely different person. He was taller than Mike and broader in the shoulders. His hair was much longer and had sunny streaks in it.
It was Sky.
And as much as I wanted to eject him from the happy moment occurring between Mike and me, I couldn't. He was there, holding me as if he was truly spinning me in his arms. The laughter continued, but it was for a different reason. It was because I was back in Neverland, in the arms of the boy I would always love. I had no idea what he looked like now; I didn't even know if he was dead or alive. However, it was as if I had never left him. He was holding me and loving me as much as I loved him.
When the second with Sky was over, I continued to laugh and smile, but I felt strange. I still felt as if his touch was lingering on my skin, and I could still hear his husky laugh in my head. And I still felt years younger.
I immediately told myself it was because of Mike. Mike was the reason I was acting so giddy. The illusion simply happened from a random memory in Neverland. It was really no big deal.
However, I never told any of my best friends what had happened when Mike spun me. I told my family and friends of the proposal and how perfect it had been, but my hidden memory with Sky would always be my little secret.
After Mike and I had left the coffee shop, he went back to his office to grab some documents. He promised to meet me back at the apartment in an hour, so I took that time to walk through the park.
It was around dusk; it was still light out, but the glow of the sun seemed to only remain on the leaves of the trees and the reflections of the city windows. Everything else that surrounded me seemed dark and nightly.
The memory of the proposal was still loitering around in my head. I only thought about it when the nerves of the wedding truly got to me.
I loved Mike, I really did. He was honestly perfect for me, and I could see myself with him for the rest of my life. Everything about him made me smile, and I liked whom I was when I was around him.
But the memory of one boy remained in my head since the day I had left him.
Sky was in my everyday thoughts, especially when Mike and I were together. I wanted to hate it, but I loved seeing his face in my mind. I loved knowing that I would never forget the almond shape of his eyes, the freckles sprinkled on his nose, the look he had when he told me he loved me. I figured I loved seeing him in my mind so much because I would never physically see him again.
My heart clenched, and I tried to think of something else:
The wedding.
I still had so much to do. I knew Mike was still preparing for his miniscule duties, such as his speech and his possible vows. We still hadn't decided whether or not we were going to repeat the words of the priest or write our own vows. We had some more time to pick, but I had been contemplating which one to choose for a while.
I came across a bench and sat down. The wedding was really getting to me. Maggie and I had planned on meeting soon to get more things done, but that was not all I was nervous about.
What if…what if…what if this is a mistake? Can Mike tell when I'm thinking of Sky? Is it clear that my heart belongs to someone else? I really loved Mike, that was no doubt, but I loved someone just as much as him somewhere else, if not more…
My thoughts were stirring, buzzing around in my mind, that I hardly noticed the moon was beginning to shine brightly down on me. I had been sitting on the bench for hours and hadn't even realized it. When a mosquito landed on my leg, I jumped and swatted at it.
"Oh!" I gasped. "What time is it?"
I looked at my watch and saw it was 9:00. I was supposed to be back at our apartment to meet Mike at 7:30.
I sprung up from the bench and began to walk out of the park. Mike never got upset when I was late, nor ever called me to see where I was, so there was no point looking at my phone to check.
There were few people walking on the path now, but I could feel someone very close behind me. Chills popped up on the back of my neck. I knew that he wouldn't attack me in front of other people, but how far would he follow me for?
"Corie, you're overreacting. He's just going on a walk too. Just like you!"
I wanted to listen to my self-conscious, but it seemed strange that I hadn't seen the man until I began walking. However, I made sure not to turn around, in case that showed my fears.
The click of his shoes matched the click of mine, and he cleared his throat every so often. I picked up the pace slightly but not too much. I wasn't too panicked yet. I thought about calling Mike, but if I got my phone out, the man might think I was calling for help. That might spark him to make a quick move on me.
So the two of us kept walking through the park, one heart beating much quicker than the other's.
I looked ahead and saw the bright light of the street ahead. Once I was there, the man could make no move. There were cars passing by at every second, and many more people were walking on the sidewalk. I would be safe once I was out on the street.
It was as if the man could hear my thoughts because I then heard him quicken his pace. My heart gave a huge spasm, and the alarm that took over me was tremendous. It almost sounded as if he were running.
I didn't care about looking strange anymore; I, too, began to run. The street was about fifty feet away. If I just kept running as fast as I could, the man would have no way of attacking me. However, I was carrying a large purse and high heels. How was I supposed to get away?
It took about five seconds for his running to outmatch mine, and he grabbed onto my arm.
As I let out a cry, the man flung me around and caught onto my shoulders. In my panic, I did all I could to fight him off. I flailed my arms at him, tried to scratch his face, kicked at every part of him, but it was no use; he was holding onto me with the tightest grip.
"Help! Help!" I screamed out, and he quickly put his hand over my mouth.
I finally looked at the man's face, the one who was sure to attack me any second, and my heart stopped.
It was as if everything around me disappeared. My eyes were glued to the face of my stalker. His round, bright eyes were gazing down at me in disbelief. His shaggy, blonde hair was ruffled from the struggle. His freckled face was tan and beautiful. I noticed then that I was craning my neck to look up at him; he was much taller than Mike. But what shocked me most while staring at him was the look of familiarity he had on his face. It was as if he couldn't believe whom he was holding in his arms, and it was the same for me. This had to be a dream—I had had too many of these. But his touch felt so real. Memories of all of our embraces came rushing into my mind. I couldn't think, and I for sure couldn't breathe properly.
His one hand went from his shoulder to my face. He pressed his hand against my cheek, and I automatically leaned against his warmth.
A vivid memory. My last night with the love of my life. Tears were pouring down my face, my heart was broken.
"I love you forever," I whispered.
The phrase was heard by no one but me and quickly stolen away by the other night sounds outside. I turned back around and walked out of the tree house.
I was drawn back to the present time where this well-known stranger was holding me as tightly as he could. It seemed as if he were afraid I would leave him—once again.
Sky finally opened his mouth. "Corie?" he said in a hoarse voice.
I couldn't say anything. My mouth was trembling—my entire body was trembling. I still wasn't fully aware of what was happening.
Suddenly, Sky reached into the pockets of his worn jean and took out a slip of paper. The minute my eyes fell on it, I knew what it was:
The letter I had written for him as I left the tree house. Amazingly enough, my teardrops were still visible as they stained my handwriting. I could feel the same heartbreak I had felt when I had written that note.
Without warning, my world went black. The last thing I remembered was Sky's arms around me, catching me from hitting the cement.
