Author's Note:
OMG OMG OMG! I've received such different responses for the last chapter! I'm overwhelmed by all of your reactions, positive and negative!
O ye, of little faith!
I promise you, I won't turn Finn gay! But his brotherly over-protectiveness will have him confused for a very short time! This is important for the plot, even though it may not look like it now. But you're allowed to hate me a little for this. I like things to be complicated. ;)
Refuse to be the victim
Kurt was looking through the racks, losing himself in the row of accessories, trying to find something Finn could wear, like a scarf or a leather cord necklace, something that was manly enough that Finn wouldn't freak out about it being an accessory.
He had fooled himself into believing going shopping with Finn would help him to forget about everything for a while, but there was always something reminding him of Blaine. Like the coffee shop where Blaine and he used to drop by during an intense shopping afternoon. Or the shirt that would just look amazing on his boyfriend.
Or someone walking by and looking just like Blaine, making Kurt's heart skip a beat and his feet step towards the doppelganger until he finally catches a proper glimpse at the person and realizes it wasn't Blaine. Actually there wasn't even any resemblance apart from dark curly hair, but Kurt's subconscious wished so hard for it to be Blaine, that his eyes were playing tricks on him.
And how could it be him? Blaine wasn't here.
And maybe he wouldn't be back for a long, long time.
Kurt closed his eyes and his hand tightened around a scarf he was holding until his knuckles turned white. He wished for nothing more than his phone to ring and Shane's voice telling him Blaine was out of the facility today and already on a plane back to Ohio.
He imagined getting in the car and driving all the way to the next airport, waiting for Blaine in the gangway and calling his name the second his boyfriend emerged admist the crowd of passengers and the beautiful moment when their eyes met Kurt would start running towards him...
"Alone?"
Kurt jumped at the sound of the deep husky voice close behind him and turned around. He was confronted with a letterman jacket and a black shirt with an ugly tribal print that was out of fashion for at least two years, but what could one expect from one David Karofsky?
Looking up Kurt met the intense gaze of his former tormentor.
It was the first time they were face to face since Kurt had left McKinley and Kurt hated how just the sheer presence of Karofsky caused his stupid heart to start panicking in his chest. Kurt stepped back, putting distance between them, because he couldn't handle being this close to him.
"Hi Kurt," Karofsky said, his voice level and his face expressionless but his eyes were piercing right into Kurt's. "How's it going?" Casually the jock dug one hand in his pocket, the other one resting on a rack.
It seemed like ages since Kurt had last heard this detested voice and an avalanche of memories crashed down on him.
What's up, homo?
You dress all freaky and then you rub it in everybody's faces!
Girl's locker room is next door!
You want a piece of The Fury?
If you tell anybody, I'll kill you!
Kurt took another step backwards, away and out of reach.
"Why didn't you call me? I know you got my note," Karofsky talked on, "because I saw you, you know? I parked a little down the street and went back on foot to see if you'd come out to pick up my note, so I know you did."
"Are you stalking me now?" Kurt asked, his voice an embarrassing squeak. He cleared his throat.
"No," Karofsky replied, but shifted from one foot to the other uncomfortably. "But I heard someone else does. Abusive texts and stuff? You alright?"
Kurt shook his head, but more in disbelief of Karofsky's concern than in answer to his question.
"I haven't told anyone about your secret, so just leave me alone, okay?" Kurt stepped further away, not truly thinking that Karofsky would attack him in the middle of a shop surrounded by people, but then again he used to shove him into lockers in crowded hallways and no one even cared. His eyes darted out of the shop windows, looking for Finn, but his brother was nowhere to be seen.
"Hey, don't walk away from me," Karofsky said with a growl. "I just wanna talk to you."
"But I don't want to talk to you!" Kurt retorted and left the shop in a hurry.
Karofsky followed him, grabbed his arm and yanked him around. "Geez, I said don't run," he hissed through clenched teeth. "There's no need for you to run."
Kurt froze at the unexpected touch. He wanted to struggle free, but he didn't dare to. With just one knock of Karofsky's fists he could be send to hospital again.
All he wanted to do was escape. He didn't want to speak with Karofsky and face all his fears. He wanted to shout for help, but then suddenly he heard Blaine's voice inside his head.
You can refuse to be the victim.
He had tried this once before and it had kind of backfired. He had called Karofsky out, confronted him, but it didn't work out the way he'd planned. Karofsky had not been impressed by his little act of braveness. Instead he'd threatened to kill him.
And then he realized he'd done it all wrong. He was still acting like a victim. "Courage," Kurt told himself under his breath and closed his eyes for a moment.
"Let go of me!" There was a slight tremble in his voice that betrayed his bravery, and yes, he was still scared of Karofsky after all, the guy had nothing better to do than stalk him. But they were in the mall, surrounded by people, he couldn't hurt him here. They weren't in the hallways of McKinley, this wasn't his terrain.
He took a deep breath, looked up at Karofsky with a stern gaze and repeated his words loudly and with a fierceness that surprised himself.
"I said let go of me!"
Karofsky blinked and then released Kurt's arm, looking at it with surprise like he hadn't been aware he'd been clutching at it all the time.
"I just wanna talk to you," Karofsky repeated, sounding annoyed.
"But I don't want to hear what you have to say and I have nothing to say to you," Kurt replied, putting up his best bitch manner. "No, actually I've got a lot to say to you, but you're not worth my breath and you wouldn't understand anyway."
"Don't be such a prick!" Karofsky scowled at him.
Kurt raised his eyebrows. "Insults don't get you anywhere!"
He could see Karofsky getting exasperated and he knew he shouldn't be pushing him. He looked around and saw Finn across the passageway, sitting on a bench, talking to Puckerman.
"I really have to go..." Kurt turned away.
"Geez, stay for a second, will ya?" Karofsky hissed angrily and gripped Kurt's arm again, this time harder, and at the sudden pain and fear searing through his body Kurt called out, "FINN!"
Karofsky followed his gaze and saw his fellow footballer darting over, closely followed by Puckerman. Both boys had a fierce look on their faces.
"Hey! Let go of him, asshole!"
Karofsky dropped his hand, quickly. Then he leaned forward and spoke fast, "Kurt, about what happened to you on New Year's... do you know anything about it? About who attacked you, I mean."
"Why?" Kurt's eyes widened, but his voice was no more than a whisper. "Do you?"
"I don't know," Karofsky shrugged and somehow he looked lost. "Maybe."
And then Finn was all over him, shoving him hard. "Stay away from Kurt, Karofsky!"
Karofsky held up his hands in defeat. "We were just talking."
"What are you doing, stalking him, huh?" Finn demanded to know. "Parking in front of our house and stuff?"
"Calm down," Karofsky told Finn. "Nothing happened."
"Are you alright?" Finn asked Kurt over his shoulder.
"I'm okay," Kurt confirmed and stroked one hand over his bangs in his usual habit. His arm was throbbing where Karofsky had grabbed him and his heart was still racing, but more irritating was the fact that Karofsky talked about knowing something about New Year's.
Puckerman casually draped his arm over Kurt's shoulders and drew him to his side. Kurt was irritated by this sudden protective gesture but let Puckerman be.
"Get lost, Karofsky!" Finn spoke in such an angry voice Kurt had never heard before. "If I ever see you bother Kurt again..."
"I get it," Karofsky said and with one last glance at Kurt he turned and strolled away.
Kurt fought down the sudden urge to call him back and ask him about what he knew. Somehow Karofsky had sounded genuinely concerned...
"Get off of him!" Finn barked at Puckerman and made both of them flinch.
"Come on, Kurt, we're driving home."
On their way home Kurt was pondering about how easily he let himself get into the role of the victim and how weak and pathetic he was acting ever since Blaine had disappeared.
And he didn't want Blaine to see him like that, thus he had to delete the Total Eclipse video off Rachel's youtube account. If Blaine was ever to see the videos, he shouldn't think Kurt was drowning in misery. Although to his own shame he was.
From now on the pity party was over.
Kurt got his phone out, but the number he wanted to dial wasn't saved in the list. "Shit!"
"What?" Finn looked over at him.
"I forgot to swap phones with Dad," Kurt sighed. "He's still got mine. Do you have Rachel's number for me?"
"Take my phone," Finn handed it over. "What do you wanna talk about with her? You don't want to excuse yourself from the party, do you?"
"No, I just need to ask her a favor." He dialed and waited for Rachel to answer.
"Hi Finnbear!" Rachel's cheerful loud voice penetrated his ear a second later. "I'm glad you're calling! Can you run some errands for me for the party? Do you have something to write with? I need three boxes of..."
"Hey Rach, it's Kurt," Kurt interrupetd her. "I'm using Finn's phone. Listen, I need you to delete one of my videos off your account!"
"Oh, sure, but it'll have to wait til tomorrow," Rachel replied. "My PC is dead since Wednesday and my dads didn't have time to check it before they left for San Fran. But they promised to fix it when they come back tomorrow. But, hey, you have my password, so why don't you log in and delete the video yourself?"
"Oh, okay, right, I can do that. Thanks, Rach."
"You're coming to my party tonight, don't you?"
"Yeah, I'll be there."
"And Kurt..." Rachel hesitated and Kurt closed his eyes. Now she would ask him about Blaine and tore at his already bleeding heart... "Can't wait to see you. We'll have a laugh!"
"Yeah, we will." Kurt exhaled the breath he wasn't aware he'd been holding.
When he logged into Rachel's account half an hour later, he instantly erased his 'Total eclipse' video. He should do a new one, something less pathetic and more up-lifting, something to tell Blaine he was still hanging on and hopeful...
He was about to log out again, when he noticed a message in Rachel's in-box. There was a video clip attached to the message. Kurt debated with himself whether or not he should take a peak at it. Who knew what kind of videos Rachel's friends sent her? But then again, no, he wouldn't invade her privacy. He contemplated about calling her and telling her about the message, she might tell him to open it and tell her what it was. But then he would have to deal with an excited or upset Rachel and he really wasn't in the mood right now. So he left the message untouched and logged out.
Poor girl hasn't uploaded new videos for over a week. He told himself not to forget to give her the camera back. But he would have to delete his stupid 'No air' performance first. It would be too embarrassing for anyone to see that.
Blaine was pacing his room restlessly, willing his headache to fade away. Gabriel hasn't shown up again today. The same guy from yesterday had brought his breakfast and another one of those dreaded pills which had caused him to lie in bed dead to the world for the past hours.
As long as Gabriel had been around Blaine had somehow felt safe in a strange way. But now he didn't know what was coming at him and he dreaded another picture show or anything of those horrible things that Gabriel had hinted was going on in this facility that Blaine, so far, had been lucky enough to be spared from.
So Blaine's heart sank even deeper when the door opened around lunch time and yet again it wasn't Gabriel coming in. The new orderly stayed in the threashold and held the door open for him.
"Come with me," he instructed, but Blaine stubbornly crossed his arms in front of his chest.
"Where do want to you take me?"
The guy looked him up and down as if sizing him up before he replied, "Visiting lounge."
Blaine's heart sped up. "Why?"
"Because you got a visitor! Duh!"
Blaine was out of his room faster than the Speed of Night. He wanted to talk to his dad or his mom or whoever it was that came see him. Whoever it was, this person had to get him out of here. He'd do anything!
"This way, Speedy Gonzales," the guy called after him as he was heading in the wrong direction. Instantly Blaine turned around and followed the guy who was walking agonizingly slow. As soon as Blaine recognized the corridor at the end of which the visitor's lounge was, he quickened his pace until he reached the glass door.
Glancing inside, he saw the blonde curly head of Valerie. She was sitting on one of the white leather couches, flicking through a magazine just like the last time she'd come to see him.
But she wasn't alone.
Another person was there, pacing up and down the room, twisting his fingers nervously.
Blaine's eyes teared up and he yanked the door open.
"Shane!"
Next chapter:
Shane! And Valerie...
.
Give me some love?
