Hello faithful readers,
I have gotten so much amazing support from everyone regarding my last author's note in December of 2015. (Wow it's been a while!) I occasionally get emails from reviews of readers asking me to continue the story. Before I get to that part of things, let me update everyone on what happened. (You can skip these next 2 paragraphs if you don't want details on my past 2 years.)
For those of you wondering, yes, I really did get raped 3 times in 2015. There's this really weird statistic about survivors being more likely to be victimized again, which makes sense because the body tends to react in a way similar to how it did the first time. For me, I experienced something called tonic immobility. This means the body freezes when it experiences fear. I was afraid and the only way my brain found a way to protect myself during the assaults was to freeze up because my brain thinks it is safer for me. After the first rape by a stranger, I was assaulted by a best friend who I had trusted. He took advantage of me when I was intoxicated and he was sober. The third assault happened when I began dating again that year and he had assaulted me when I was unconscious. That was a lot for me, and that was why I stopped updating this story. I had chapters half written but my mind was too scattered to focus on my writing, and school was beginning to get difficult too. I needed some time to cope with everything that had happened to me. I was hurting at a level I did not know was possible. I had been diagnosed with PTSD, Panic Disorder with Agoraphobia, and Major Depressive Disorder. It took a lot of willpower to push through everything that happened to me.
But I have good news! I no longer have the severity of the symptoms I used to have. I feel at peace with myself. I used talk therapy, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, a therapy technique), and meditation to find myself again. I found a way to push forward and I even graduated college with a bachelor of science! Recently I was just offered a full time job at a hospital. I am dating again and I no longer have trust issues with men, however I am careful due to what has happened to me in my past. I had a lot of great support in my healing journey, especially from those reviewers who kept checking in on me.
Once again I would like to thank everyone for the kind words. I have grown a lot in the past few years. My writing back then was a bit different than it is now, but I still have every intention of finishing what I started. Yay! The only problem is: I forgot a lot of what I wrote! So here is the game plan! I will be rereading my old work over the next few days and will begin writing again once I recall the direction I was going. I have a couple of half written chapters that I can finish up and post. Expect an update in the near future! I cannot promise when I will have them ready to begin posting again, but I can say it will be SOON!
Thanks for your patience and much love!
Merissa
