The Heroes Parody Project

Author's Note: Nothing special to report this time.

Disclaimer: The Heroes Parody Project a fan fiction based off of the show 'Heroes'. It is copyright NBC and Tim Kring, and I am not affiliated with any of the cast or crew. Reader Discretion is advised.

Niki runs to the front door as someone is knocking on it.

Claire: Hey! Niki….thanks for inviting me over for Girls Movie Night.

Niki: No problem….I have to hang around Peter, Mohinder, and Matt all the time so a little break is nice….come on, the movie is about to start.

Niki and Claire head into the bedroom where Peter is digging into the popcorn.

Niki: WHAT THE!? Peter….you're not invited to our girl's night! Now SHOO!

Peter: Oh, come on! I want to watch the movie too!

Niki: It's a Lifetime movie……I like it because the man is a villain….

Claire: That's every Lifetime movie!

Peter: I'll be good! Promise….

Niki: Ugh….fine….just don't eat all the popcorn.

Niki puts in the tape…..

Claire: It's not a dvd?

Niki: Nope….I'm not 'with it'…..

Claire: Well, that's okay I guess.

The movie begins to play….before cutting to….

Where's Waldo: The Movie….

Peter: Awesome….

Claire: I'm lost already….

Niki (pissed): …..MATT!!!

With James Woods as…The guy who knew where Waldo was.

James Woods: He's over there!

Waldo waves.

THE END

Niki (writing Matt's eulogy): Matt was a good man…though very stupid. He met his end at a young age because I bludgeoned him to death with a…

Niki looks around.

Niki: Peter….hand me something blunt-y.

Peter hands her a bowling pin.

Niki (writing): …with a bowling pin. Thanks for coming. Refreshments will be made available in the dining hall with musical guest…

Niki thinks…

Peter (whispering): ....Taylor Swift.

Niki: …ugh….fine…..with musical guest, Taylor Swift.

Peter: Sweet…

Niki: That will do nicely. Well, I'm off…..

Niki grabs the bowling pin and heads to Matt's room.

Claire and Peter listen from the bedroom.

Matt: Oh, hey Niki! What are you going to do with that bowling pin? AHHH! Help! I'm being bludgeoned to death!.....You better have Taylor Swift perform at my wake…EEK! OW!

Claire looks at Peter.

Peter: I'm telling you, I can read the guy like a book.

Matt: Previously on Heroes….OW! OOF! OWW!

The video of Claire healing after her fall from the hospital roof is seen by millions of YouTube viewers. There was also a video of Peter, but nobody cared about that one.

Peter: HEY!

Jax (talking to a kidnapped Claire): You have to get in there and stop this. Something bad is going to happen.

Claire (to Peter): Your place is bugged! Munroe isn't dead! Get out of there.

Niki (and others at the sleazy motel): How did this happen?!

Peter: Don't worry, I got this all under control.

Peter and Claire emerge, dressed in tights, totally ripping off a storyline from the 'Remnants' arc.

Peter: That was a dream, I told you!

Noah: Something needs to be done.

Elle: Leave everything to me.

Elle mows down Claire in the street, The Haitian was filming the scene, proving Claire doesn't have abilities. She now has to be punished for her crime.

The Queen Of Hearts: OFF WITH HER HEAD!

Elle: Wait, she wasn't here last time!

Peter: I'll save you Claire!

Peter (about to get mowed down by a bus) gets pulled out of the way of the oncoming bus. He fails to see who rescued him.

Hiro pops in to disrupt the fake Niki/Matt wedding, teleporting everyone out of there. He is back in the hospital, in a weakened state.

Noah opens his phone to find a video of Micah, Monica, Ando, Hiro (passed out), and Sandra trapped in an elevator.

Noah, after watching the video on his phone, gets up and walks out of the bowling alley.

-A few hours ago-

Micah and Monica are making their way into the hospital.

Monica: I'm glad you could tag along, Micah.

Micah: It's the weekend. I could use a break.

The two of them board the elevator, Monica hits the 'up' button. Micah looks up above the door where there a digital reading of what floor they are on:

Chapter Twenty Nine "29"

Micah: How original.

Up in Hiro's room, he gets a visitor.

Sandra: Hello! Hello!

Ando: Mrs. Bennet?

Sandra: Hello all, I just wanted to stop by.

Hiro: Did you come to visit me? That's so nice.

Sandra: No, I was going to visit Nathan, but he already checked out.

Hiro: Oh.

Sandra: But I bought a gift!

Hiro: For me?

Sandra: No, it's for Muggles. It's a jewel encrusted collar. I got it in the gift shop.

Hiro: Oh.

Sandra: Well, bye.

She walks off.

Ando: Why did she even come in here?

Hiro: I…don't know.

Hiro notices she left her gift bag on the counter.

Hiro: Mrs. Bennet! You forgot your….

Hiro hops out of bed and grabs the bag.

Ando: Hiro, what are you doing?

Sandra is waiting at the elevator, which opens, Monica and Micah are standing there. Sandra makes her way in, followed by Hiro and Ando, the door closes.

Monica: Well, hey guys….we were supposed to come visit you. But I guess this will work too.

The electricity shuts off.

Monica: Oh figures!

Hiro: Mrs. Bennet forgot her gift.

Sandra: Oh, I did! I can't believe that….Mr. Muggles would be so mad, he would never talk to me again!

Monica (whispering to Micah): Just so we're clear…that is the dog, right?

Micah: That is correct.

Monica: Just making sure.

Micah: Well, no worries…I can get things up and running again.

Micah is about to put his hand on the console…

Voice: I wouldn't recommend that, Mr. Sanders.

Micah slowly turns to look up at a camera in the elevator. The screen showing Micah is being watched by Munroe.

Hiro passes out.

Ando: OH COME ON! Seriously?!

= = = The world's gonna turn, the world's gonna turn, nobody turns…like the world turns….I don't know….HEROES! = = =

Noah Bennet is still in his office, he gets on the phone and dials Peter's number.

Meanwhile, still at the sleazy motel.

Peter (answering): Helloo?

Noah: Peter, it's Noah. I need you to do something for me.

Peter: Wash your car again?

Noah: NO! NO!....No…please god….it's clean…it will never get dirty again.

Peter is sitting on top of Bennet's car in his swimsuit, holding a cheeseburger.

Peter: Okay, hit it!

Matt, who is assisting, turns on the water hose. The blast, which shoots Peter square in the face, flops him backwards, crushing through the windshield rear end first. Accidentally flinging his burger in the air.

Peter: OW!....AHH! MY CHEESEBURGER!

Noah, who has been standing off on the side watching the spectacle, gets plopped in the face with the cheeseburger.

Peter: I'm stuck….

Matt: Just like Winnie The Pooh in the honey tree….at least it's not me this time.

Noah: No….we are making our move on Munroe, we know his location.

Peter: How did you figure that out?

Noah: That doesn't matter. Get the group over here….and hide Claire. I don't want her involved in any of this mess anymore.

Peter: Where am I supposed to hide her?

Noah: I don't care, just get it done!

He slams the phone down….shortly before realizing it's a flip phone…..in which he closes sucking out any tension or drama from that last scene.

Noah: Whatever!

Peter: Hmm….Matt!

Matt: Sup?

Peter: We need to hide Claire somewhere safe….it looks like Bennet wants us on another mission.

Matt: Leave everything to me….

-5 minutes later-

Niki: YOU DID WHAT!?

Matt: Peter wanted me to hide Claire…aaaand I kinda misunderstood him…aaaand I kinda sorta….locked Claire into her own nightmare.

Niki: Oh, I am ever so pissed!....Well, wake her up!

Matt: I can't! It'll kill her……I think.

Niki: Fantastic……Now what?

Matt: All she has to do is figure her way out of the nightmare and learn a valuable lesson….those are the stipulations of getting out of one of my nightmares.

Niki: UGH!

Meanwhile, at the school, Samson Gray is looking over some notes. It is the weekend and nobody is there. Except for someone knocking on the door to his office.

Samson: Must be the cleaning crew. Come in……Wait, I don't have a cleaning crew, I make the kids in detention clean up. What the?

Samson stands up to Sylar, who enters his office and sits down.

Samson: Hello, Gabriel….

Sylar: Hello.

Samson: Allow me to put on some music to coincide with the dramatic tension of our confrontation.

Samson walks over to his record player and drops the needle onto the record:

Do your ears hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow?....

Samson lobs his record player across the room.

Sylar: …..

Samson: Forget it, I'll do it myself. Please….begin.

Sylar: Okay….I came to see you…

Samson: Duhn! Duhn!....Dooooo….Deeee…Doooooo….Dooooooooo…Dummmmmm

Sylar: Please stop that.

Samson: Sorry.

Sylar: Why were you so adamant to suggest to me the plot to marry off those two idiots?

Samson: I already told you…it was the only way to lure out the Mayor, was it not?

Sylar: It was, though I was skeptical about your help. You see…..Hiro Nakamura swooped in to save the day. Neither the mayor, Niki, Matt, or anyone else was killed.

Samson: Hmm….Hiro…..who is that?

Sylar: The time traveler.

Samson: Never heard of him.

Sylar: He's on your payroll!

Samson: Oh….him…..

Sylar: You don't act too surprised that he showed up….seeing as how you told him.

Samson: I told Hiro to stop the wedding I suggest you set up? That doesn't make any sense.

Sylar: It does when it all revolves around your quest for retribution. Retribution against me for leaving you to die and not sharing any of my healy cheerleadery powers with you.

Samson: You can heal and cheerlead?

Sylar: That's not what I meant!

Samson: Ah…

Sylar: The wedding, the mall, the jewel heist, every job I have done has been a complete failure.

Samson: I'm pretty sure the failed heist was your and Claire's fault…maybe I'm mistaken.

Sylar: However, all these failures are connected. I don't know where it's going to lead you, but I know where it began.

Samson: And where is that?

Sylar leans in closer.

Sylar: Your predecessor.

Samson: Stiles?

Sylar: Yes. After leaving you for dead, you wanted to get back to me. Your doctor pal, Munro was more than able to accomplish this ironically with the same blood that I once had, why else would he know to shoot Claire Bennet, making her fall against his car, spilling some of her blood. When you learned that Stiles was in prison for extortion, you made him a deal to get him out if he could pull some strings and get you the new job as principal. Though that is kinda odd in itself seeing as how the school board would hop on hiring a principal for a junior high who was a out of work taxidermist based upon a recommendation from the previous Principal who just went to jail. But semantics aside….

Samson, bored, rips open some bon bons.

Sylar: I'll take one.

Samson: No.

Sylar: WHAT!? You're supposed to offer me one, it was in the preview of the last episode.

Samson: Well, keep talking your nonsense, and we'll see.

Sylar: Anyway….once Stiles was able to get you the job, you befriended Micah…so you can get closer to Molly, and find out where the hideout for the Syndicate was. And here we are today, you sending me on wild goose chases….for what reason, I don't know.

Samson: I thought you said it was retribution?

Sylar: Yes….that….well, not anymore. Your plan stops here! Good day.

Sylar storms out of the office, then peeks his head in.

Sylar: Can I have that bon bon, now?

Samson: I ate them all…ha ha!

Sylar: GRR!

He slams the door shut.

Sylar (his shouting fading off): Why even bother having previews for the next episode when you aren't even going to stick with them. ARGH!

Samson: Bleh….I forgot…I don't even like bon bons.

Sylar: THAT MAKES IT WORSE!

Samson goes back to his work, a loud noise is heard.

Samson: Huh?

Samson gets up and tries to open the door, but a large filing cabinet is blocking the outside.

Samson: Doors that open from the outside…that's idiotic.

Suddenly, smoke starts seeping through the bottom of the door.

Samson: Oh dear.

Outside…Sylar, and his lackey, Tiny, watch as the school burns to the ground. They both leave.

Back in the elevator. Monica and Micah are playing tic tac toe with her lipstick.

Monica: So we're stuck.

Micah: Yup…..aren't we wasting your lipstick.

Monica: Nah, I never wear it. I just keep it for emergencies….

Micah: Uh….riiight…..

Monica: So, what's stopping you from firing up the elevator again.

Micah: It has 10 stacked failsafe devises, if any one of them are altered in any way, it will detonate a mechanism that will cut the elevator cable.

Monica: Can't we use our phones?

Micah: There's no signal in the hospital…I can get a signal but we're being watched….if we're caught, Munroe will cut us loose.

Monica: That sucks!

Sandra: My poor…poor Muggles, all alone….if I miss another NCIS rerun, he'll never forgive me.

Monica: ….she is still talking about the dog, right?

Micah: You already asked me that.

Monica: I know….I just can't tell sometimes.

Ando smacks Hiro in the face a few times….

Ando: No luck.

Micah: I can't believe he would pass out like that.

Ando: I can….if Hiro can actually use his powers freely with any trouble, the entire series would be done with one episode. What's the fun in that?

Micah: Good point.

Claire wakes up….she looks around.

Claire: Where…where am I?

She tries to walk around a bit….it looks similar to a grocery story…but this place has low, low, prices.

Claire: Oh crap! Wal-Mart!.....Dammit! Did Parkman trap me in a nightmare……but why here? What's so scary about….

Behind her…in the camping and sporting goods department…Sylar pops his head out of a tent.

Sylar: Claire! Hey, buddy! Come on in. Got some hot dogs burnin on the grill.

Claire: ….are….you…FREAKING KIDDING ME!?

Sylar: Oh fine, bring some marshmallows….hmm….I probably shouldn't have this fire going on inside the tent.

Claire: I wonder if I buy a gun if it'll carry over back to the real world…..eh…worth a shot.

Meanwhile….

Noah: Okay group.

Peter, Niki, Mohinder, and Matt are in the briefing room.

Noah: Thank you all for coming.

Niki: You made us come here.

Noah: Anyway….we need you all to get to the hospital and stop Munroe. He has Hiro, Ando, Sandra, Micah, and Monica trapped in an elevator.

Niki: WHAT?! Micah's up there?

Noah: Yes, so timing is very important if we want to get my wife, your son and niece out in one piece…..oh, and Hiro and Ando too.

Peter: I would like to say something.

Noah: Ugh…what is it, Peter?

Peter: Somebody took my burrito out of the fridge. It had chicken, steak, rice, beans, cheese, jalapenos, salsa, and guacamole. I know it had to be one of you three….Mohinder.

Mohinder: For the last time, Peter. I didn't eat your lunch.

Peter: I'll get to the bottom of this case…..I will find out who the culprit is. I'm just cool like that.

Noah: Can we get on with it?

Peter: Fine….but whoever ate my burrito, I want it back!

Matt: Uh….how would that work?

Niki: I'm for moving on.

Peter: I bet you would like to move on…Mohinder.

Mohinder: I didn't say anything….nor did I eat your stupid burrito.

Peter: Uh huh….

Noah: MOVING…ON…..

Noah shifts through some papers…

Noah: First thing's first….Where's Claire?

Peter: I thought you didn't want me to bring her! Jeez! Make up your mind already!

Noah: ….Niki?

Niki: She's safe…..at my sisters.

Noah: Wha….uh…huh…what?....Sister's?

Matt: OH MY GOD! JESSICA! AHHH!

Matt tries to jump out the window but…

Matt: Hey, this window's painted on! What gives?

Noah: More cost effective with you around.

Matt: You're learning!

Niki: Yes, my sister Tracy is in town. We're keeping her there for a while.

Noah: …….

Mohinder: ….

Matt: …..

Niki: ….what?

Noah: So….guess she's in the show now?....Good for her.

Niki: Well, it took her long enough to gain enough trust to come back after Matt tricked her into morphing into a snow cone and eating her!

Matt: The defense rests, your honor….it was a very good snow cone.

Mohinder: I'm lost….

Peter (raising his hand): QUESTION!

Noah: What is it this time, Peter?

Peter: I just wanted to inform you all that I have to wrapper the burrito was in….I want it analyzed for prints. To the urology lab!

Noah: NOBODY IS TAKING PRINTS OF ANYTHING…..Back to the mission. I….

Matt: I have a question!

Noah flings his papers in the air.

Noah: By all means! Share it! We have all the time in the world!!

Matt: I believe that Peter has the legal right to find out who took the burrito. We can't set this aside.

Peter: Thanks, man.

Matt: I'm behind you 100 percent on this! We'll find that fiend.

Niki: I took it, now will you all shut up?

Peter: Mohinder, you don't have to fess up just yet….or do you?

Mohinder: I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!

Noah (slamming his fist): SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

Everyone: ….

Noah: Thank you…......These are the schematics for the hospital. Munroe's office is on the top floor. Get there, bring him back….ALIVE.

Everyone: AWWWW!

Noah (pulling out some dvds): We need information out of him. I'm a little rusty on the torturing skills so I have plenty of shows to brush up on like 24, Prison Break, and…Antiques Roadshow?!

Everyone looks at Mohinder.

Mohinder: What?....It's educational.

Peter: Yes, the perfect show….for eating a burrito too.

Noah: I'm firing you all after this mission…..

Claire is stuck in her nightmare….in a tent…in Wal-Mart…with Sylar.

Claire: This sucks….

Sylar (with a guitar): Sing with me, Claire….My bologna has a first name…it's S-Y-L-A-R!

Claire: You named your bologna after yourself?! That's stupid.

Sylar: Well, what else am I going to name it, Claire?

Claire: O-S-C-A-R?

Sylar: Who the hell is Oscar?

Claire: Forget it….

Sylar: I'm really glad you're with me on this trip Claire….it's like we're brothers…

Claire: I'm a girl….just saying….

Sylar: Can you make another one of those delicious smores?

Claire: Fine….why are you so nice, anyway…..you know that always ends up a disaster?

Sylar: I've just had time to redeem myself and my actions….it's made me a better person. It corrected me to be a more established member of society.

Claire: You just compared Wal-Mart to prison. I hope their lawyers don't hear about this.

Steve (one of the Wal-Mart lawyers, slamming down a phone): DEFAMATION OF CHARACTER! We have a case!!!

Bob (head lawyer): Okay, men. Time to sue! GO! GO! GO!

All the lawyers slide down a pole to their Law-Mobile, driving away to the writer's homes.

Claire: UH….

Sylar: Well, you've been here as long as I have….it tends to make you a better person.

Claire: How long have you been here?

Sylar: 40 years!

Claire: You don't look 40….and not only that you're a manifestation of my memory…the real Sylar is out there doing something stupid….

Sylar: It'll feel like 40 years here….but when you get to the outside, it'll only be hours.

Claire: Well, that's just fantastic…..

A van zooms by, en route to the hospital for the final battle with Munroe. Mohinder is driving, while Peter navigates with a treasure map he ripped off the back of a box of Captain Crunch.

Peter: Too bad it rips up the roof of your mouth when you eat it though. It feels like gravel, but it tastes like heaven.

Mohinder: I'd watch what you say about the cereal companies, Peter.

Captain Crunch Lawyers: LAWSUIT!!!

The lawyers slide down a pole to their own Law-Mobile and drive off to the writer's homes.

Niki is in the back with Matt, who is pointing his finger at her.

Niki: What are you doing?

Matt: What are you talking about?

Niki: I get it. It's one of your extra annoying days. We'll I'm not going to let it bother me. My therapist told me to find my center.

Matt: But I'm not touching you.

Niki: You're talking and breathing on me, that's bad enough.

Matt: But I'm still not touching you….(starts moving his hand around)….up here…..or around here….or over here…..or down here.

Mohinder slams into a speed bump, Matt accidentally plunges his finger into Niki's nose. SPLORK!

Niki: AHHHHHHHHH!

Matt: Uh….

Niki (covering her nose) Matt, have you lost your ever lovin mind?!

Matt: It was an accident!

Niki: Oh my god…you just violated my face!

Matt suddenly realizes he has a nice, green, present on his finger.

Matt: EWWWWWWWWWWW!!! BOOOGER!

Niki: What, now?!

Matt: Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!

Niki: Stop flicking it! You're so gross!

Matt: AHH! The Germs! The icky germs!

Niki: It's your own damn fault….ow…I think my nose is bleeding, how far did you cram it up there….oohhhh….

Mohinder looks into his mirror at Niki and Matt, both screaming bloody murder.

Mohinder: Don't get involved, Mohinder….eyes on the road.

Matt: Uh oh…I lost it.

Niki: WHAT?!

Matt: I flicked it, and I guess it flew off somewhere?

Niki: Oh god, I hope it's not in my hair…..

Matt: I think it is.

Niki: AHHH!

Matt: AHHH!

Mohinder: Will you two shut the hell up?! For crying out loud, it's just a booger! Grow up…..ugh…I'm surrounded by children…..

Peter: Hey, Mohinder, what's that on your hand?

Matt: Hey, Peter found it. Good job, buddy!

Mohinder: AHHHHHHH!!!!

Mohinder lets go of the wheel, the van plummets through the front window of the flower shop.

Mohinder, Niki, Peter, and Matt: ………………..

Peter: …..Actually…..(wipes the blob off Mohinder's hand, examines it, then licks it)……it's Guacamole……..GASP! Mohinder! YOU ATE MY BURRITO! I KNEW IT!

Mohinder: Okay, I did! Allright!? I was going to replace it but I forgot……

Niki: I'm going to throw up.

Back in the elevator on Level 29…..Monica is lying on the floor of the lift.

Monica: So….hungry.

Sandra: Oh, I might have something for you.

Sandra hands her a breath mint.

Monica: Thanks……ugh….it tastes like plastic.

Sandra: Did you take the wrapper off?

Monica: I'm not stupid! Of course I did.

Sandra: Hmm….then the mint was probably a plastic one.

Monica: Who the hell buys plastic mints?!

Hiro is still passed out, Ando is still trying to wake him, Micah can't do anything. They're pretty much screwed, next scene.

Micah: HEY!

45 minutes later, the van (after being pulled out of the flower shop) finally pulls up to the hospital and breaks down.

Niki: We're here! I'm finally off this death trap!

Peter: At least we made it in one piece.

Matt gets a call from Noah.

Matt (answering): Sir!

Noah: What is your status?

Matt: Mohinder finally confessed to eating Peter's burrito. Though Niki's booger is still at large….

Noah: WHAT?!

Niki: Let me talk to him!

She swipes the phone.

Niki: We're at the damn hospital.

Noah (in the car): About time….okay, you need to split up into two groups, A and B. I'll be there shortly.

Niki: Why are you coming along?

Noah: I have my reasons. Put me on speakerphone real quick.

Niki turns on the speakerphone, everyone gathers around.

Noah: Now, Team A will make their way into the main circuit room in the basement and switch the power off, that will only give you a 1 minute and 30 seconds to get everyone out of the elevator. When the electricity comes back on, a large group of failsafe protocols that even Micah can't touch will go off, letting go of the car. Team A will need to rush to the level they are on….

Niki: Which is?

Noah: Don't know yet.

Niki: That's great, how many levels are there?

Noah: 30.

Niki: Wonderful.

Noah: Team A will need to search every floor with the minute and a half they have.

Niki: Which is impossible.

Noah: ….find the right floor, get everyone out of there.

Peter: What about the other team?

Noah: Team B…..go get Munroe.

Peter: I'm on Team B.

Noah: Yes….Peter and Mohinder, I want you 2 on Team B….Niki and Matt on A.

Niki: Uh….I'm like, 1000 times stronger than Matt and Mohinder, shouldn't I be on Team B? Kicking Munroe's butt?

Noah: No, Parkman is better with electronics. And I need you to protect him.

Niki: Uh….no he's not. We've been through a thousand toasters…..and me…protect him?

Matt: Then who is going to protect me from Niki?

Niki: He's right….who will protect him from me?

Noah: We wasted enough time, move out!

Noah hangs up…shortly before his phone rings again.

Noah (answering): What is it?

Munroe: I see your lackeys coming into the hospital….pretty bold move.

Noah: Of course those morons would use the front door…..

Munroe: That's okay, none of that matters. I see Peter….where is Claire?

Noah: She's not a part of this.

Munroe: You already sabotaged my plan last time….I will have things go more smoothly this time around.

Noah: I know you released the video of Claire….why?

Munroe: Well….to be honest, that wasn't all my idea.

Noah: You're working for someone?

Munroe: ….you don't need to know who I'm working with….all that matters is that you bring Claire. You have 10 minutes.

He hangs up.

Claire and Sylar are walking through Wal-Mart. They reach the front door.

Claire: The front door.

Sylar: Yes, I would one of these days like to go through that door.

Claire: How long have I been here?

Sylar: 2 days…..but those days will turn into weeks….months….years…….but it'll all be worth it….just for a chance to open the door.

Claire steps on the door mat, which electronically opens the door.

Sylar: GAH!

Claire: Hmm…..yay!

Sylar: How did you do that….what was the lesson you learned from your time here?

Claire: That Matt and Peter in the same room will always lead to disaster……and no matter the crime, if a person is truly sorry and wishes to redeem themselves, it can be done……and I'm out of shampoo and should get some the next time I'm at real Wal-Mart.

Sylar: Good enough, bye Claire! See you soon!

Claire (waving goodbye, walking out): Not looking forward to it!.....Later!....

Claire wakes up, sitting in an upright position…she cannot move…since her legs are missing.

Claire: AHHHHHHH!!! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!

Voice: Ahh! You're awake!

Suddenly, Tracy Strauss, one of Niki's identical twin sisters, comes charging in, holding both of Claire's legs…which are apparently frozen.

Claire: …..Okay….Niki…what's going on?

Tracy: Hi, Claire…..it's actually Tracy….but that's okay…..well, Niki and the others dropped you off for safe keeping, I was carrying you inside and accidentally froze your lower half. Haha….

Claire: And you broke my legs off.

Tracy: Accident! Anyway, all we need to do is position these like so…..and I'll grab my hair dryer…..and we'll be right as rain!

Claire: ……didn't you turn into a snow cone and get eaten by Parkman?

Tracy: I did….he's not all there……but I made it out okay….….all things pass eventually.

Claire: Ew.

After 10 minutes of thawing, Claire's legs attach themselves back to her body.

Claire: Ahh….much better.

Tracy: Great! Another crisis averted.

Claire: I need you to drive me to the hospital.

Tracy: Well…..they wanted me to keep you here.

Claire: But….

Tracy: Well, I never though of it like that…..Okay, I'll take you.

Claire: What?

Tracy: Hop in my car. I paid off all my speeding tickets so I can get you there real quick.

Claire: I don't think they work like that….

Claire looks up sees someone….she double takes and the person is missing.

Claire: Huh….that….was odd.

Meanwhile, in a lesser subplot….Elle is sitting in prison, counting away the tally marks.

Elle (with a long, grey, beard): Oh….prison sucks…..ooohhhhh

Cellmate: You've only been here for a day! Quit whining…..

Guard: Miss Bishop….we're letting you go.

Elle: Wh…what? But….I ran over Claire Bennet!

Guard: Your bail was paid….you are free to leave.

Elle: I thought I was going to be here for life?

Guard: The person getting you out pulled some strings and talked to the judge. You are free to leave.

Elle rips off her beard and exits her cell. She makes her way to the main lobby of the police department to find Nathan standing there.

Elle: Oh, hey Nathan. Could you move? You may be standing in front of the guy who got me out of…..it was you wasn't it?

Nathan: That's right.

Elle: Why?

Nathan: Well, I think in our 'circle', we all know you didn't kill her. So I thought I'd use some of my mayoral power to get you off the hook. I mean….you did save all of us from being exposed…..though you used an odd way of doing it….anyway…this is to show my thanks.

Elle: Your welcome….so……is that it?

Nathan: Actually…..I came to offer you a job.

Elle: What? As your receptionist?

Nathan: Well…she did quit, she got tired of answering to the press all the time. But you would be more of an…assistant.

Elle: Isn't your mom doing that?

Nathan: Not anymore….I had to….put her to out to pasture.

Elle: You killed her!?

Nathan: NO! I meant….let her go.

Elle: Why?

Nathan: Well, I haven't been mayor for long, and my affiliates are pulling out left and right because I'm not doing so hot….especially with news stories like these

EXTRA! EXTRA!:…Mayor of New York gets slaughtered in local bowling match, by his own Mother! The people lose faith!

Nathan: Can't have that. So….what do you say?

Elle: Sorry, Nathan…I already have a job.

Nathan: Really….working for a man who has not only put you on the sidelines to make way for his new 'dream team' but was responsible for your banishment to Egypt and didn't even attempt to get you out of prison after saving his Claire Bear. He didn't even ask Tracy Strauss to pose as your aunt!

Elle: That's true….

Nathan: He still hasn't even given you a real gun yet….

Elle pulls out her gun and fires, the BANG! flag shoots out.

Nathan: You deserve better……what do you say?

Elle: ………I'll do it.

Back in the hospital. Niki and Matt reach the basement.

Niki: This is impossible, how are we going to know what floor they are on?

Matt: Beats me.

Niki: There's no signal so can't call anyone.

Matt: Let's assume it's on a floor that's probably near the top. If the car was going to fall to their deaths, the first few floors probably wouldn't do too much damage.

Niki: That's true. Okay….it's a long shot. But I'll start running toward the top, give me 5 minutes…then hit the switch.

Matt: Got it.

Niki runs over and takes an emergency stairwell.

Peter and Mohinder walk up to a set of double doors.

Peter: That must be his office….I can tell since it's the double doors and all.

Mohinder: Yup……Ready when you are.

Peter: Yeah…….

Mohinder: Well…..

Peter: Right.

Mohinder: What are you afraid of? He doesn't have any powers!

Peter: I'm not afraid of anything. I can go.

Mohinder: Then go….

Peter: What's stopping you?

Mohinder: I…uh….would rather you go first…..I'll back you up.

Peter: Great.

Niki is charging up the stairs….she makes it to the 30th floor, she runs up to the elevator and bangs on it.

Niki: Micah! You in there?....No…damn….guess I better start working my way down…..I thought Noah was coming? Oh well…..

Back in the basement, Matt switches the trigger, the electricity goes off in the entire hospital.

Munroe, in his office, is looking around.

Munroe: They cut off the electricity to everything…dammit!

He slams the console with his fist.

Peter kicks in the double doors…..

Peter: The show is over….uh…..huh?

They are in a storage room.

Mohinder: Oh….his office must be down the hall.

Peter: Well, that was anti-climactic!

Niki runs up to the Level 29 elevator door and bangs on it.

Micah: Huh? Who is that?

Niki: Micah? It's me! I'm letting you out!

Micah: Watch out, mom! He'll cut the cable!

Niki: We're fine for a little bit longer.

Niki grabs onto the doors and starts to pry them open.

Niki: We only have a few seconds! Everyone, get out!

Micah and Monica jump out. Sandra crawls out as well.

Niki: Hurry, Ando!

Ando: Coming, Internet Stripper!

Niki: Don't call me that!

Ando tries to pick up Hiro and carry him. The lights come back on…the cable snaps, and the elevator falls. Monica gasps.

Niki: Oh crap!

In the falling elevator:

Ando: AHHHHHH! CRAP! CRAP! CRAP!....Hiro! Wake up!....Come on! We're about to be crushed.

Hiro (conveniently waking up): ….oh Ando…..it's you…..I had the craziest dream…..

Ando: Don't care! Get us out of here!

Hiro: But I'm not supposed to….wait….where am I?

Ando: We're in a falling elevator about to die in a matter of seconds!

Hiro: Then I must do what is right. For it is my duty…..to boldly go where no man has gone…

Ando: HURRY IT UP!

Hiro grabs Ando's arm and teleports as the car makes a loud crash from the impact of the ground floor.

Niki: Hope they made it….oh well, time to go! This way!

They run off, Monica doesn't get too far when a hand comes out of the shadows and grabs her from behind.

Monica: URF!

Off in a hallway, Monica is still held captive.

Voice: You've been getting rusty with your power, haven't you Miss Dawson?

The assailant lets go….Monica spins around.

Monica: ….Principal Stiles?

Stiles: Surprised to see me? You didn't think I was going to let the whole 'you getting me thrown in prison' thing slide, did you?

Monica: …….

Elsewhere…

Micah: Uh oh!

Niki: What?

Micah: We lost Monica!

Niki: She better not be in a warehouse cause I'm not falling for that again!

Micah: We need to find her!

Niki: Okay….stay close.

Niki, Sandra, and Micah look for Monica.

Peter and Mohinder break down Munroe's door….he looks up at them.

Tracy's car pulls up to the hospital. Claire hops out, thanks her for the ride, and runs inside.

The crushed elevator shaft is on the bottom floor, noone is in it.

Firefighters have finally managed to douse the flames of the burning school. One of the firefighters says they found a body.

Sylar walks into Jax's room, he motions to come with him. Jax gets up and follows him out.

Elle and Nathan leave the station.

Elle: Actually, I do need to help my old boss with something before I start working for you.

Nathan: Sure.

Elle: ….Think….you could give me a lift?

Nathan: …..sigh……just this once.

Elle stands behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist.

Nathan: I really need to start charging for this.

Nathan takes off soaring into the air.

Noah is driving, he slams on his breaks in front of Angela's house. He gets out, concealing a gun, and makes his way inside. Angela watches from the window.

To Be Continued.

The final chapter of the volume/2nd book, hopefully should be up by this weekend.