A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)
Thanks to bananas-rule-2015 for beta-ing:)
QueenIcelandia-Yes, it does get better in this chapter.:) I said 'happy ending' and there's no happy ending with no Elsa.:)
CieloFede-I PMed you, so...I won't make you reread everything here.:)
raven678-I promised a happy ending, remember.:)
Guest-Just read on.:) I said 'happy ending' and you can't have a happy ending with no Elsa.:)
mctiffanygamingmc-Elsa's okay.:) She'll be fine. Promise! And yes, there's going to be a sequel:)
Mandy-I just didn't think it was believable if Elsa randomly recovered from being so sick. She has little to no immune system to help her get better.:/ And no, that's not the end for Elsa. She gets to choose.:) No, I've never had an experience like that in my life, but it's what I would imagine it to be like. Anna is angry at her parents right now because she knows the main reason Elsa couldn't recover from her illness stems from being isolated from people for so long. And yet she does know Elsa is all right...she just misses her big sister badly and wants her back.:/ Well, one reason Elsa wrote so much is because she knew she wouldn't be able to say all of that verbally since she was sick; and the other is that she wanted Anna to have something from her even after she was gone. In my mind, Agdar didn't know what to say to Elsa and therefore said nothing. He knows Elsa being so ill is pretty much his fault.:P Yes, there's a sequel!:) Thanks for not being mad! I guess I could say 'You're welcome', but that sounds pretty silly, considering the seriousness of what you just said:) You're welcome anyways, though.:) Thank you for sticking with the story:)
Elsa Tomago-Well, Elsa is a good writer...probably better writer than speaker.:) Also she was ill and knew she wouldn't be able to talk much when she wanted to tell Anna those things.:/ Thank you:)
Karl The Wizard-I'll say right now Elsa's coming back even though it's a spoiler because I will NOT permanently kill off Elsa or Anna. Ever. They might get hurt or something, but I won't kill them off. Besides, how can there be a Frozen story with no Elsa?!:) And yes, coming back means Elsa willingly puts herself back somewhere where she needs to seriously recover both inside and outside. Also, she wants Anna and she can't unless she goes back. I kinda feel bad for putting Elsa through so much, and yet I'm just rooting for her to win 'cause I know exactly what will eventually happen in this story and its sequel.:)
Dragonheart35-Sorry?:P I know the last chapter was really sad, but this one is happier!:) Thank you! I'm so glad you liked it, even if if it was sad and kinda depressing.:P (Although not as depressing as it could have been since we know Elsa is all right.:))
badbloodkiller1-Thank you!:) Thanks for reading all those chapters within about a day or so like that.:)
On to the story!:)
"We gotta get back!" Olaf said excitedly as Marshmallow lumbered quickly back to Arendelle, holding him and Rania.
Rania had realized that the three of them had their own life Elsa had given them, but it was derived from Elsa's magic. So…couldn't they heal Elsa if one or all of them sacrificed their own lives and gave Elsa hers back? That was what the snow beings were hoping, anyways. "Elsa died," Rania said suddenly, sensing that Elsa was missing. "She's gone."
"MARSHMALLOW STILL HELP ELSA?" Marshmallow asked.
"We're gonna try, of course," Olaf announced, ever hopeful. All three of them knew their plan might not work, but they were willing to risk it.
"ANNA OPEN WINDOW!" Marshmallow demanded, looking straight into Elsa's room from outside.
Agdar's eyes went wide. "Why are those things still alive if my daughter isn't?!" he demanded. Elsa is really gone. She's gone, and I never once told her I cared about her or loved her or anything. She died thinking her father didn't like her. He awkwardly touched Elsa's platinum hair and strode out of the room without looking back, his own eyes beginning to tear up.
Anna opened the window, still clutching Elsa's letter in her hand. "Marshmallow, Elsa is gone. She's dead. Please just go," she said quietly.
Rania hopped down into the window seat and stared straight at Anna. "We think we can help. Bring Elsa over here. Please."
"You don't understand! She's dead, Rania! What part of dead do you not understand?! She's gone and she's not coming back!" Anna shouted tearfully.
"I GO FIRST," Marshmallow rumbled. Knowing Olaf was the most precious to Anna, Marshmallow had decided he would try to help Elsa first. If it didn't work or wasn't strong enough, then Rania would try. Then, and only then, would Olaf attempt to help if he needed to.
Anna obliged and scooped Elsa's body up and carried her over to the window, but she was sure this wasn't going to make any difference. Her eyes grew big when she realized what Marshmallow was doing. He's…sacrificing his own life to try to help Elsa…
"If this works, don't let Elsa even attempt to revive us until she is completely better," Rania ordered. "'Cause I think we can give Elsa her life back, but we can't really heal her."
Marshmallow's huge ice hand-claw?-gently touched Elsa's lifeless body as Marshmallow sent all of the magic ingrained inside him back into Elsa. Soon Marshmallow was just a pile of snow in the courtyard, and tears ran down Anna's cheeks all the more. Rania did the same, and Olaf was just about to do the same himself, when Anna noticed a bit of color was coming back to Elsa's face.
I wish to go back. Elsa suddenly felt herself leave this wonderful place where she was at the moment, and she knew she was back in Arendelle in her own physical body.
Where she belonged. At least for a while longer. Back with Anna. Back in her country. Because my country and Anna need me for some reason.
"Olaf, no!" Anna shouted. "Look at Elsa! I think…I think she's…she's alive?" Anna's face lit up when she felt Elsa stir ever so slightly in her arms. "Elsa?" she whispered, almost afraid to believe her eyes.
"Water?" Elsa asked weakly. Her blue eyes slowly flickered open and focused on her little sister. Anna…I see Anna! "Anna! Anna…I'm back…I'm back!" She did not believe for one second that what had happened wasn't real. It was clear as day to her, and it had not been a hallucination.
Anna screamed for joy and hugged Elsa close. "Mom! Dad! Come quick! Elsa! It's Elsa! She's…she's alive! She's right here and she asked for water! I heard her!" She stood up and grabbed the glass of water off the nightstand; then held it to Elsa's mouth and supported her head so she could drink it. Anna scowled the second Elsa was finished drinking her water. "Now that I know you're okay, what the heck were you thinking?!" she shouted. "Writing that I'd be better off without you and that you don't belong here?! You're an idiot, Elsa! A big fat idiot!"
Elsa gave her little sister a lopsided smile. "You get your dead sister back and the first thing you do is yell at her?" she asked, half giggling. "You're a stinker, Anna."
Anna plopped back down in the comfy chair in the corner and frowned and just hugged her big sister tightly. "I just…I'll never be better off without you. You do belong here…I lost you, Elsa! I thought you weren't gonna come back…you were dead. You weren't breathing and you didn't have a pulse, at least I don't think so, and-"
"I'm okay, Anna," Elsa interrupted, fiddling with the bandage wrapped around her hand and wrist. "I might need you to help and take care of me 'til I'm completely recovered, but I'm okay. You have that damaged little girl back, for better or for worse. And she's not leaving again. Not anytime soon." Elsa smiled, remembering what she had heard and seen. I should tell Anna… "Anna…I was floating somewhere…I saw you. I'd have been able to see you if I hadn't come back. Something fixed me, too…my leg worked properly again and that scar on my left wrist was gone and I didn't hurt inside anymore. There was this shining gate, but I didn't get to go through it 'cause I decided to come back…" She looked up at Anna, her expression both elated and sad. "If I'd been able to have you there with me, I would have stayed, I think. I know it's selfish, but…"
"You came back because of me?" Anna asked. Why would she pass up staying in a place like that? And I know Elsa isn't telling stories…I think she saw heaven or something. She had to have!
"Someone told me I wasn't finished yet. That my country needed me, which meant you needed me too. I didn't actually see anyone, but…but that Someone loved me. I don't even know how I know; I just do. He s-said…said my powers were a gift." Elsa closed her eyes as happy tears ran down her pale cheeks.
"Elsa, you should have stayed. You deserve to be happy more than anyone." Anna gently brushed Elsa's tears away as she frowned at her sister's happy expression. Elsa is so happy because she was told her powers were a gift. Of course they are! Elsa's perfect. Absolutely perfect. Just like she is.
Elsa's big blue eyes gazed earnestly at her little sister. "No. I did the right thing. It isn't the same, and I'm still going to hurt inside sometimes; but Snow Queen Elsa belongs here right now. She's a damaged little girl inside, but she's also the reigning monarch of Arendelle and she has a job to do. I don't know exactly what danger Arendelle is in, but I will defend us. I just need your help, I think." She paused before adding happily, "So you did get the necklace!"
The power crystals Pabbie was talking about! That's something only someone like Elsa could defend Arendelle from if something happened. Anna decided to withhold that knowledge until Elsa was completely better. Elsa's back here safe, but she's also weak and she needs to recover. "I'll help you any way I can…and you aren't defending anything until you're completely recovered. And don't use this hand right now, 'cause I'm afraid you're going to hurt your wrist more," Anna said firmly as she gently held her sister's bandaged hand, making sure she didn't hurt Elsa's wrist. "Elsa…when I read what you wrote on this necklace, I somehow just knew you were all right. And it was true! You were in the bestest place that was more than we could even imagine." Then she went as fast as she could down the hall to her parents' room, still carrying her sister. Elsa's alive! She's right here and she's going to be okay! At least I think so.
"Too hot," Elsa complained, trying to wiggle out from the blanket still wrapped around her. "Anna…where are you taking me?" She finally freed her good hand from the blanket and made it snow over her own head; then giggled at the face Anna made.
"Yeah, I think you're gonna be just fine," Anna announced, hugging her sister tightly. Elsa seems weak from being so sick, but she's fine. Definitely fine since she's feeling too hot and dumping snow on us.
Elsa giggled a bit and leaned her head against Anna's shoulder. She didn't feel ill at all anymore, just rather weak and tired. That and Anna's voice sounded…a bit far away to her, like it was muffled, even though she knew Anna was right there. Well, except for when Anna had been yelling at her. I shan't tell Anna that unless I have to. Anyways, I'm at home and I'm safe with my baby sister.
Anna frowned as she asked her sister the same question for the third time. "Elsa, I said, how are you feeling?" she asked loudly.
Elsa blinked in confusion at her sister. What do I say? "Tired," she said finally. She bit her lip as she realized her parents were right there in front of her. "I didn't hear you come in," Elsa added, not realizing what she was saying.
"Sweetie, we've been right here for the last thirty seconds or so," Idun said quietly. "We're so glad you're…alive." She gently took Elsa from Anna and just held her close. I don't know what happened, but Elsa's here, and she's very much alive. Elsa's alive! She's here and we have her back. She's my sweet little girl. What a wonderful Christmas present…a day late. It's the 26th already.
Elsa looked puzzled at her mother, not having caught most of what Idun had said. "Could you repeat that? I didn't understand," Elsa said, her own voice sounding not quite right to her. Well, maybe that will go away. I know that's not always a permanent aftereffect.
Agdar scowled and stalked out of the room, but not before touching Elsa's hair and then giving her arm a gentle squeeze. Elsa might have dangerous ice powers, but she definitely doesn't deserve that. She's back home in Arendelle safe, but she's not sound. Literally. Why is there something wrong with her ears now?! That is not fair.
You weren't fair to her for all those years, Agdar. You have no room to talk. You locked a little girl in her room and she's still hurting because her own father abused her. You didn't hurt her on purpose, but it doesn't change the facts. Anna had shown Elsa's 'last words' letter to both her father and her mother. Agdar had read it and instantly been horrified. Elsa wouldn't have written all those things if they weren't true and then some. He knew Elsa did not like talking about her feelings, and her emotions were all over that letter, both positive and negative ones. Go back and talk to her. At least just stay in the room with her so she knows you want to be with her.
Elsa doesn't want me with her…but wait a minute. She does. I know she does. She told Anna to give Idun and me hugs from her in that letter.
Agdar turned and strode back towards his family.
"Mama, I can hear you, just…not as well as normal," Elsa explained. "Let's just not talk about it. It might not even be permanent anyways…I mean, it's pretty obvious it's just from me being so sick. Besides, magical powers didn't make me sick, so if it ends up being permanent, Rapunzel can easily fix it next time we see her. Very simple." Elsa felt more awake now, and she contentedly watched her signature snowflake hover over her palm. I'm home with my family. I'm fine. Elsa abruptly dissolved her snowflake when she saw her father. "Hi, Dad."
Agdar frowned and awkwardly held his hand like Elsa had been doing. "No, do…whatever it is you were doing, Elsa," he said a bit louder than usual so Elsa could easily understand. "Just…keep it away from me."
Elsa just stayed where she was, curled up on her mother's lap in one of the big soft recliners in her parents' room, feeling self-conscious as she held her hands close against her chest. Maybe I understood wrong. Dad couldn't have told me to go ahead and make my signature snowflake. He hates my powers. She hesitantly held out one shaky hand and made her snowflake again, hoping she was doing the right thing. Is this what I'm supposed to do, Dad? I'm not sure.
Agdar took Elsa's good hand and looked her straight in the eyes. "You are not a freak. You might be defective physically, but you are perfect inside. You have a heart of gold, Elsa."
Elsa hadn't quite caught everything, but she heard enough to understand. Dad cares about me. He said I wasn't a freak… She impulsively tried to jump to her feet, only to fall to the floor.
Agdar's expression crumpled, and he grabbed Elsa's arm, roughly hauled her to her feet, and then shoved her into Anna's arms before leaving the room as fast as possible. He would not show tears in front of Elsa.
Anna stuck out her tongue at her father, not caring she was being rude. Then she moved so she was simply supporting most of Elsa's weight so she could stand up rather than leaving Elsa half-slumped to the floor.
Elsa hung her head as her blue eyes filled with tears. "What did I do wrong?" she asked, rubbing her arm with her other hand. "Didn't Dad say I could make my snowflake? Did I hear wrong?"
"No, you did not hear wrong, sweetie," Idun told her, simultaneously shaking her head as she spoke so Elsa would still understand whether she heard the words correctly or not. I think he's just upset and doesn't want Elsa or anyone else to see that…
"What date is it?" Elsa asked. "Anna, did you read that letter?"
Anna nodded and just picked Elsa up. "December 26th and yes. Do you want to go get dressed and fix your hair and whatnot, or do you want to go back to sleep?" she asked.
Elsa closed her eyes, feeling disgusted with herself for having to really think about what her sister had said to understand. At the very least, Rapunzel can fix that the next time I see her. I'll be fine. And it's already better than it was. I can tell. Elsa was used to her sharp hearing from all those years in her room listening to what was going on outside of it, and she felt slightly lost without that. She finally took a guess as to what Anna had said, and replied, "I would like to go find my ice-dress, please."
Anna just smiled at Elsa and carried her back down the hall. She could tell the whole thing was bothering her sister, so she decided she would talk out loud as little as possible to Elsa and just spend time with her instead. Maybe they could go play chess or something. And Anna knew Elsa would love her Christmas presents. I don't care what happened to Elsa's ears; she's still my sweet big sister and I have her back. And even if they don't get better on their own, I know Rapunzel can heal them for Elsa whenever we see her again. 'Cause it's because she was so sick, not 'cause of magical powers.
"I can put on my dress by myself, thank you. Go away, Anna…just for a few minutes. I'll call you, I promise," Elsa told her sister a minute later. "Please?"
Anna nodded and went out into the hall, but she also announced loudly, "If you aren't through in ten minutes, I'm coming in anyways."
Elsa giggled. She had definitely understood that properly. Elsa quickly fastened her brace on her leg and slipped on her absolute favorite dress-her original ice-dress; then managed to brush out her hair before simply falling asleep sprawled across her bed on her tummy. While Elsa didn't feel ill anymore, she became tired very easily.
When Anna tiptoed into the room a short while later, she was first alarmed to see her sister lying on her bed; then realized Elsa was just fast asleep. That stinker made herself so tired she fell asleep. Bad Elsa! Anna eyed Elsa's long thick hair falling loosely down her back and immediately remembered something she had planned to give Elsa for Christmas. I think I'll give them to her now, actually… Anna ran off down the hall, came back with a medium-sized box, and shook Elsa's shoulder.
Elsa blinked sleepily at her sister. "Anna…?" Oh. Oh yeah. I must have fallen asleep without even finishing getting ready. She slowly sat up and brushed her loose hair away from her face.
"May I pretty please do your hair?" Anna asked in a slightly louder voice than usual.
Elsa smiled and nodded as she tried to stand up; but her tired body felt too weak to do so and she just plopped back on the bed. She closed her eyes and just sighed; then said quietly, "I can't stand up right now…I'm sorry." It's no big deal, Elsa. You're just home safe with Anna.
Anna didn't even reply; she just gently scooped her sister up and set her down in a chair in front of the mirror before handing the box to her. I don't care what Elsa needs; I'm going to help her recover. She's my sweet big sister and I will not lose her yet again.
"Blue ones," Elsa said promptly as she peeked in the box, which was full of hair ribbons in a myriad of different colors. Elsa had a few hair ribbons already, but not many. "Thank you, Anna. They're all so pretty!" She twisted partway around and watched her sister start a small fire in the fireplace and heat up a curling iron. "Anna…I don't think I want that thing near me," she said hesitantly. Elsa had never curled her hair in her life; not only had she never really thought about it, now Elsa was quite sure she did not want a hot piece of metal touching her hair.
"Can we try it?" Anna gave her sister a pleading look. "I think you'd look so pretty with curls. I promise we can stop immediately if you don't like it."
Elsa tilted her head to one side, trying to decipher as much of Anna's words as she could, despite her temporarily damaged ears. "I didn't catch all of that, I don't think," she said finally.
Anna went back over to her sister and repeated her words. This time Elsa understood, and she nodded. "Okay. Sounds fair," Elsa agreed.
Elsa flinched when she felt the intense heat nearing her, but she trusted Anna not to burn her…well, at least not on purpose, anyways…so she just clasped her hands together in her lap and just sat stiffly, trying her best not to flinch at the too-hot thing so close to her.
Anna gently took a small section of her sister's hair and began curling it. Anna was very impatient if she tried to curl her own hair-she usually just did pigtail braids and left it at that-but she immediately decided curling Elsa's thick platinum hair was much more fun than curling her own. Elsa's hair is so pretty. I don't understand why she doesn't like it. It's not weird; it's just dramatic. And she has a lot of hair, too. Silly Elsa.
Elsa smiled a bit when she glanced up at her reflection a few minutes later. "I like my curls," she told Anna. I still like my single braid best, but this is a nice change-up. Since Elsa's hair was so long, she just had a lot of loose ringlets tumbling down her back and over her shoulders.
Anna grinned and grabbed two dark blue ribbons from the box. She carefully pulled back the front part of her sister's hair and tied a ribbon on either side of Elsa's head to keep her hair away from her face. Elsa looks absolutely...cute. I should not tell her that, either, 'cause she won't like it.
Elsa scowled in annoyance at her reflection, thinking having her hair fixed this way made her look even younger than she did ordinarily, but she didn't take the ribbons out. Anna had taken the time to fix her hair; the least she could do was leave it alone. "Thank you, Anna," she said finally.
Anna's expression fell. "You don't like it?"
Elsa had understood that, so she answered, "Only because I look about eleven or twelve like this. I love the ribbons and the curls, just not…together. But I want it to stay like this for today. Just for you." Anna, please don't be upset…
Rather than verbally answering, Anna just picked Elsa up and plopped down in the comfy chair in the corner, still holding her sister close. I have my sweet big sister right here with me. She's alive. Really, truly alive. I love Elsa so much. Anna decided right then that she would let Elsa out of her sight as little as possible. She'd lost her entirely once; that was not going to happen again. And that wasn't even including all those years when her big sister had been isolated in her room hurting so much. She wondered what Elsa would have been like if she had grown up actually being treated properly. Probably she'd be exactly like she is now, except…Elsa wouldn't hurt inside. She would have more self-worth than she does now. She'd be a…a grown-up version of her eight-year-old self… Anna blinked rapidly to keep tears from trickling down her cheeks as she looked down at the contented girl in her arms.
Elsa looked almost vulnerable right now; her eyes were closed and she was curled up in Anna's arms, her braced leg stretched awkwardly in front of her. Right now Elsa didn't care what she looked like; she was safe in her little sister's arms and nothing was going to hurt her. Wait a minute…I'm happy right now, but Anna isn't. She looked up at Anna and immediately threw her arms around Anna's neck, ignoring her sore wrist. "Anna, please don't cry. What's wrong?"
Anna just shook her head and didn't say anything, not wanting to put Elsa through trying to hear what she was saying and then getting frustrated because she couldn't. She just hugged Elsa tightly.
"You do know I can still hear you, just not properly," Elsa said quietly, knowing exactly why Anna wasn't saying anything. "Just talk a bit louder than usual and I'll be able to understand just fine."
"I…I was just thinking what you might be like if Mom and Dad actually treated you properly after the accident…it's not fair! I love you just like you are, but you're still hurting inside, and you never, ever did anything wrong. Nothing! It's just…just…I miss the little eight-year-old Elsa that actually valued herself and wasn't hurting inside. Elsa, do you even realize all the things you wrote in that letter?"
"I think so…do you still have it?" Elsa asked, wondering what exactly she had written that she might not have remembered writing down.
Anna pulled it out of her pocket and handed it to her sister. "And don't tell me you didn't mean those things, Elsa. You somehow got your emotions out all over that letter…"
Elsa's blue eyes filled with tears as she read through her own letter. She remembered writing most of this, but not all of it. I hadn't wanted to say some of this…not the suicide part and not the feeling useless part, either. I don't feel like that all the time, actually not nearly all the time, but I do sometimes… "I'm sorry, Anna, so, so sorry," Elsa said softly. "I…I didn't mean to write some of this…I just…I don't know…" She just put her face in her hands in shame and tried her best not to cry. Elsa's slender body shook all over as she pressed herself closer to her little sister. Don't cry, don't cry. I don't want to make Anna upset…except I don't think it matters. She already knows.
Anna had no idea what to say; not only would Elsa probably not even hear her through her distress, she knew there wasn't really anything to say. Elsa couldn't force her heart and mind not to hurt anymore. She could force her emotions to stay locked inside, but that just made it all the worse. I wish I hadn't said anything at all. Now Elsa feels bad for making me upset when it's not even something she can change. We can't change the past, but…wait. We can change the future. It's just…nothing can erase what happened to Elsa when she was little. She grew up being emotionally abused by the two people that should have loved her the most. She has emotional scars inside, and I don't think they're ever going to go away entirely. "I just love you so much, Elsa…I hate knowing you're still hurting, even if you're loads better and perfectly happy most of the time."
"I just didn't want you to know!" Elsa cried. "You…you take care of me all the time…does that mean there's something wrong with me that I can't just completely forget about those things? I don't like hurting….not one little bit. I wish it would go away and never come back. I'm fine now with you and Mama and Gerda; I know I am. I'm not going to be chained in the dungeon again. I'm not going to be locked in my room 'until you can at least appear to be a normal girl'. Or be trapped in my closet for hours…"
"WHAT?!"
Even to Elsa's ears, that had come out as an angry shout. "Um…I almost forgot about it 'til just now. Let's not talk about it. Anna, can we go play chess or something?"
Anna scowled. "Not 'til you tell me what happened," she said firmly.
Elsa sighed. Why do you even want to know? "I was ten, and I'd asked Dad if I could say something to you through the door. I was mad when he said no, so I purposely iced the floor and started skating around the room. Then I heard you knock, and I was just going to start adding jumps when I thought 'Anna! I hurt Anna with my ice! I shouldn't be playing with it! Bad girl, Elsa. Very bad girl.' I fell and hurt my ankle, and I guess you went to get Dad 'cause you heard me say ow or something…Dad l-left me trapped in the closet for icing the floor. That's all." Elsa buried her face in her sister's shoulder and refused to move. That's the past, not the present. The past, not the present. I'm here safe and sound-oh, wait, not sound… She found herself bursting into giggles at that thought; the joke was on her, so Elsa thought it was funny.
"What on earth is so funny?!" Anna demanded. "And did Dad just leave you in the closet with a hurt ankle?! That's horrible!" So he didn't even get Elsa taken care of physically properly? Elsa was just a little girl…she was probably hurting more inside than because of her ankle. Why would anyone do that to someone like Elsa?! And…and Elsa tried to get permission to talk to me? Anna realized something else that she'd forgotten about: no wonder Elsa still seemed like a little girl sometimes. She was. That little girl had been conditioned into believing so many lies about herself; no wonder twenty-one-year-old Elsa had problems dumping them. Elsa had grown up physically, and she was far older than her age regarding politics and things like that; but her heart, her emotions, her inner self? Those were all still that of a traumatized child. She was much better at dealing with her emotions now, but Anna thought her big sister still tended to either completely clam up or let her emotions come tumbling out and change very quickly.
"I was just thinking 'I'm here safe and sound', trying to remind myself that was the past, not the present, and, well…I'm not sound. I can't hear right, and…" Elsa's voice trailed off when she realized Anna did not think that was the least bit funny. "You don't even get it, do you? Never mind…and Anna, to be fair, Dad didn't even know I had hurt my ankle. I know he didn't. He was just so mad he didn't notice. Dad wasn't trying to hurt me," Elsa said firmly. What Dad did was wrong, but I know he wasn't trying to hurt me. And he hurt me inside, not on the outside.
Anna sighed but said nothing, and just held her sister tightly. First she makes a joke that picks on herself, and then she's defending Dad. Why?
Agdar had been listening to the two girls' conversation in the hall, and now he rapped on the door. Elsa just tried to defend what I did to her. Why would she do that?! "Elsa, come out here now, please," he said firmly.
Elsa looked to her sister for help; she had heard her father's voice, but not his exact words. Actually, I think my ears are already better. Maybe I just need to 'clear my head' so to speak, and they'll be completely back to normal in a little while. Makes sense, anyways… When Anna repeated their father's words to her, Elsa just flinched and clung to Anna. I don't feel scared, exactly…I just don't want to talk to Dad about that. I only told Anna because she asked me.
Elsa looked curiously at her father as Anna carried her out into the hallway. While Elsa felt much, much better, she wasn't strong enough to walk by herself yet, even with her brace. That's temporary. I know it is…it's fine, Elsa.
"Elsa. You…you defended your father locking you in the closet when you were ten. Why?" Agdar asked.
"Because I believe you genuinely didn't know you were hurting me for some reason," Elsa replied instantly. "You dislike my powers, but you don't dislike the rest of me. Besides," now Elsa gave her father a lopsided smile, "ten-year-old me did disobey. Perhaps it wasn't fair, but I did disobey."
Anna stuck out her tongue at Elsa, which made her giggle. Elsa dropped several large snowflakes on her sister's head, her blue eyes twinkling in amusement.
Agdar gave his elder daughter a quizzical look. "Whose actions do you consider wrong, then, in that incident? Yours or mine?"
Elsa's giggles vanished and her expression turned serious. "Both of us, Dad. Think about it, please. A father instructs his ten-year-old daughter to keep her uncontrollable abilities inside her. The ten-year-old gets angry and ices the floor on purpose and hurts herself. The father comes back and finds the mess, becomes angry, and leaves the child in the closet as punishment for disobeying, genuinely not knowing she's hurt. I don't think either is good," she said quietly. That seems logical to me…
"And I think you gave Elsa some weird abused kid syndrome that we don't actually have a name for," Anna spat, which made Elsa flinch. Why does Elsa think that's half her fault?! She was just a little girl! Elsa wouldn't have been out of control at all if she'd been cared for properly in the first place.
Does Elsa really have something like that wrong with her? She's absurdly smart, but she isn't being logical right now… Agdar glanced at Elsa's present expression; she just looked puzzled. "Elsa, you don't think a parent should notice their daughter has hurt herself because he or she is angry?" he asked carefully.
"I didn't say that; I said it was understandable and neither was good. Dad, you never physically hurt me. I fell. That isn't the same thing. I don't think you should have put me in the closet, but I shouldn't have purposely iced the floor then, either." Elsa wasn't sure what to say; she genuinely believed both she and her father had been in the wrong.
"Do you remember what happened after that?" Agdar asked.
Elsa nodded and her pale face twisted in pain. I remember only too well… "Gerda found me and bandaged up my ankle…you…y-you told me it was my own fault the next day and that maybe that would teach me to keep the ice in and 'conceal, don't feel' better…" And it hurt. My ankle hurt and I hurt inside, too…
Anna had finally heard enough. She turned partway away, glaring at her father as she protectively shielded Elsa in her arms. "Dad, how dare you say things like that to her!" she exclaimed. "Why would you tell a little ten-year-old girl it was her own fault she got hurt?! From simply playing with something that's a physical part of her?!"
Agdar's face went completely neutral, and he just pressed a letter into Elsa's hand. "Anna, I was not finished talking," he said firmly. Then he awkwardly touched Elsa's head and added, "Your curls look pretty, Elsa," before abruptly striding off down the hall.
"Anna, you hurt Dad's feelings," Elsa said softly. "Could you please carry me wherever Dad went off to? I'd like to finish talking to him." I can tell Dad feels guilty for what happened and just has no idea how or doesn't want to apologize. Probably both… "Actually wait. I want to read this letter first."
Anna went back into Elsa's room and plopped down in the comfy chair in the corner holding her sister. Elsa unfolded the letter and held it so they could both read it at the same time.
'Dear Elsa,
You asked about your name. I am rather sure this will explain other things that have nothing to do with this. Elsa, your great-great-great grandmother had ice powers just like yours. As you might guess, her name was Ingrid. Your mother and I named you before we found out you had those powers. I suppose we should have been suspicious the second we saw your hair. No one in our family lineage has platinum hair like yours except for your great-great-great grandmother Ingrid.
I can see you now wondering why we wouldn't have wanted to tell you about Ingrid, since she's 'like you'. I shall tell you. Ingrid never learned to control her powers, Elsa. You scared us because we were afraid you would end up like her. That special cell in the dungeons was something she constructed for herself to keep the public from wanting to kill her.
It kept the public from doing so, but it didn't keep her from doing it to herself. She lived in that cell until she committed suicide. This is why no one told you or Anna about Ingrid.'
Elsa paused in her reading and sent a horrified glance at her little sister. "Anna…that could have been me. That was almost me. If you hadn't rescued me…" Elsa's voice trailed off as she held Anna's hand tightly as she continued reading. No wonder Dad acted so weird when I asked him about Ingrid!
'I can see now that while you still have the capability to be dangerous and actually are to some extent, you've managed to get those powers of yours under control with your sister's help. I should have allowed you and Anna to talk to one another after the accident. Perhaps Anna would have solved the puzzle rather quickly and you two could have grown up together. I am sincerely sorry, Elsa. You did not deserve that life, no matter what might be wrong with you. Your heart has always been in the right place.
I think you always appeared strong on the outside, Elsa, and so I never realized how much you were hurting inside. You are half tough as nails and half a fragile child in pain. The tough as nails part is what you wear on the outside to keep everyone from knowing your other feelings. You 'conceal, don't feel' too well. I am sorry for foisting that on you. You said to me that that phrase was only good in a political situation or a fight where someone might take advantage of you.
Well, I daresay you were correct.
Your father,
Agdar.'
A wide smile spread across Elsa's face as she slowly folded the letter back up. "Anna, what d'you say this is Dad's version of an apology?" Elsa fully understood why her father hadn't said any of those things verbally to her face; she wouldn't have wanted to explain, either. "I feel really bad for Ingrid," she added softly. "She just needed someone like you to fix her, just like I needed you." That could have been me…but Anna gave me hope. She gave me a reason to live when I didn't have anything else… Elsa looked hopefully up at Anna. "Do you think Dad will let me have a hug now?"
Anna hesitated and just hugged her sister tighter. "I don't know, Elsa." I can't just say 'yes' and risk Elsa getting all disappointed again…
"Well, I hope he will; I just shan't let myself be too hopeful," Elsa decided. "Anna…I'm so glad I got to come back to you," she added. "Being free of pain or sadness felt wonderful, but…but here I have you. I feel like…like you erase those things. You can't 'fix' me entirely from hurting inside, or erase this" Elsa held up her left wrist, exposing the nearly invisible scar there, "or heal my leg completely. But you do make it so those things don't matter. You healed that little girl from believing no one could love or care for her. I still don't understand why you love and care about me, but I do know and trust that you won't…abandon me or hurt me." She paused as she gave her sister a hug herself, and then abruptly tried a stifle a giggle. "And yet you don't treat me like a pitiful kicked puppy, either! I think I wouldn't mind that sometimes-you kind of had to treat me that way right after the Great Thaw-but you do let me do things on my own. Well, you do most of the time."
"Stinker." Anna lightly bopped Elsa on the shoulder, which made Elsa drop a tiny piece of ice down her sister's back…which made Anna hop up squealing and drop Elsa right onto the floor.
Elsa propped herself up on one elbow and covered her mouth with her other hand in a very unsuccessful attempt to hide her giggles. "You look like you have ants in your pants!" she teased.
Anna gave her a rather superior look. "I am not wearing pants. I am wearing a dress," she announced loudly.
"Well, 'dress' didn't rhyme," Elsa replied, still giggling.
"You know what, Elsa?" Anna asked as she plopped down on the floor next to her sister. "I didn't really want to celebrate Christmas 'til you were completely better, but-"
"But let's go ahead and have Christmas now," Elsa interrupted, smiling. Elsa's face suddenly crumpled when she realized she didn't have Christmas presents for anyone. The time I would have spent buying or making Christmas presents was when I was sick… "I don't have presents for you or anyone else," she mumbled.
"Yes, you do! You. You're a present. The best present ever," Anna told her as she gently scooped her sister up and held her close. "We all lost you, Elsa. And we got you back. That's the best present you could ever give."
A/N: So Elsa's back! She's still really weak and she needs to regain her strength, but she's back.:)
Yes, Marshmallow and Rania sacrificed themselves to give Elsa her life back. It was the only logical way I thought Elsa could come back, really.:P
Now we know about Ingrid and why Agdar didn't/doesn't like Elsa's powers.
Last chapter coming soon!:)
