PART THREE

Chapter 29: Christmas Confessions

December, Seventh Year, Christmas Holidays

I never used to come to this part of town when I was a kid. It's just the church and a few houses. Once I went to the church with Brittany and Chloe and their dad, but the people there didn't like me much because I kept pointing out that obviously this Jesus guy was just a wizard. Turning water into wine? I could do that spell by the time I was thirteen. It had made for several very interesting meals until the professors worked out that half the Slytherin third years were drunk, and put me and Puck in detention for two weeks straight.

But since about fourth year, I'd been coming here a lot. I'd avoided it as much as I could for the few years after Tony died. It was easier just to force my mind away from the subject - which was hard enough just being at home, without coming near the graveyard. But one day I'd come anyway, because Brittany was on holiday and I needed to talk, and it had helped. I had no illusions that he could actually hear me; I knew I was just talking to a lump of fancily carved rock and some bones. But it was nice talking without having to worry about being interrupted.

I dropped down onto the ground next to his headstone, reaching out to dig into the mud right in front of it. It took a little while of hunting, but finally my fingers curled around something hard and smooth, and I pulled out one of the marbles I'd placed there years ago. Flowers hadn't seemed right – he'd had terrible hayfever – so I'd searched through the attic until I found the box of his things, and the bag of marbles I'd given him for his ninth birthday. I'd had to take the colour-changing spells off them of course so the muggles wouldn't get curious, but they were still essentially the same.

I settled down with my back resting against his headstone, closing my eyes and rolling the marble in my fingers. I wished I could make some bluebell flames, but again that would cause issues with the muggles. They could be oblivious to magic most of the time, but right when it was most inconvenient they'd notice. I settled for tugging the zipper of my coat right up to my chin, but I still shivered as I spoke.

"Hi Tony."

It was always kind of awkward to start with. I never knew what to say, and I always got a bit worried that someone might come near and think I was crazy. Today it was even harder. I knew what I wanted to say. I had the words ready in my head, repeating over and over. He wouldn't react badly - how could he? - but I was still scared.

I tried to imagine how he'd react if he was sitting in front of me now, but how could I know how he'd react? He was ten the last time I'd seen him. He'd be sixteen now. A completely different person.

I wondered if he'd still have that stupid hairstyle. If he'd be any good at quidditch - I bet he would have been on the house team, he'd never fallen off his broom when we visited our cousins. What house would he have been in? Probably Slytherin - but maybe not. Maybe he'd have been a Gryffindor, or even a Hufflepuff. Our parents would have loved that. He'd have come to me, asking how he was supposed to explain it to them in a letter, worrying that they'd be upset. I'd still be compared to him, but he'd be compared to me too and we could complain about it together.

The sadness hit me suddenly like it normally did, even though I really should have been expecting it. I sighed, opening my eyes to stare at the grey sky.

Would I have told him this already? I had no idea. I had no idea how a 16-year-old Tony was likely to react. I didn't know that Tony. So I spoke as if I was talking to the Tony I did know; the 10-year-old obsessed with Puddlemere United and Hogwarts.

"You know my friend Brittany?"

I could picture him nodding as he concentrated on rolling his marbles as accurately as possible across his bedroom floor.

"I… I love her."

He'd have turned to me then, confused.

"Not like a friend," I explained to the grave. "Like… like mamá and papá do. Well, like they're meant to when they're not arguing."

Maybe they would have started shouting below us then and he'd just laugh. Maybe he'd have frowned at me and said girls couldn't love other girls like that.

I didn't know. I didn't have a clue what he'd do.

This was stupid. He was a memory – that was it. And I was sitting on top of his bones like that would somehow help me talk to him. Like telling him would somehow make it easier when I went out with mamá tomorrow and tried to explain it to her.

I stood quickly, brushing off the dirt and starting to walk away until I realised I still had the marble in my hand. I turned and knelt, pressing it gently into the mud. Time to return to reality.


Christmas shopping in Diagon Alley was hell. Why had I ever agreed to it?

"Santana! Santana, over here!" my mother called from the other side of Twilfitt and Tatting's. The shop was unbearable. Everywhere there were rich women discussing the latest fabrics and designs, bitching about the inferiority of Madam Malkin's and how just anyone went there, you might even bump into muggles. Sure, I appreciated good quality clothes, but this place was just filled with pureblood fanatics. I'd choose Madam Malkin's any day to avoid overhearing the ridiculous conversations these women had. I wandered to the back of the shop, where mamá was holding up two almost-identical sets of dress robes.

"Which do you think Pilar will prefer, hmm? Plum or lavender?"

I stared at the two outfits for a moment before pointing to the darker one. Honestly, I doubted my cousin would care which one she was given, but telling my mother that would just result in a lecture.

"Yes, you're right, I think it will suit her better. Did your robes fit?"

I nodded, indicating silently which I had chosen by gesturing to my arm. When she was in this kind of mood, it was easiest to keep quiet.

"Oh yes, I liked that one too. Here, add it to the pile and I'll go pay - you can wait outside if you like."

I hurried out of the shop, pausing outside the door to examine the window displays. It was much more enjoyable to admire the robes from outside, where I didn't have to listen to gossip about how the Minister's Undersecretary was having an affair with a muggle.

"Santana!"

Perfect. Just the person I didn't want to see. I tried to act like I didn't hear, but as usual Puck ignored the body language telling him to go away and appeared right next to me.

"Hi Puck." I give him a once-over before returning my gaze to the dress in the window.

"What're you doing here?"

"What do you think I'm doing? It's a few days before Christmas in Diagon Alley."

"You going to be sticking around for long? You haven't been returning my owls recently, maybe we could hang out?"

Did he really have to bring that up now? Wasn't dealing with my mother enough work for one day? I decided to ignore the latter comment.

"We're almost done."

"Great, so do you want to come over to my place? Got some imported firewhiskey," he added with a grin. "Brannwhisky, they call it."

"I can't. I have to help mamá, and I'm going over to Brittany's later."

He moved, leaning against the glass of the window so he was blocking my view.

"Come on, what's up with you recently? You've been avoiding me for months and it's not like-"

My mother's voice interrupted him before he could finish.

"Is there a problem?"

He turned, recognising her immediately and moving off the glass.

"No problem, Mrs. Lopez. Just catching up with Santana."

"Well I'm afraid Santana is busy at the moment. I'm sure you can catch up with her at our New Year's Party."

"Sure," he agreed hurriedly, already stepping away. "See you around, Santana."

It was kind of funny, how easily she could make him disappear.

"Are you dating him?"

I almost tripped over from the shock of the question. She never asked me stuff like this - I guessed it was part of her trying to make an effort thing she'd had going on for a while now. The timing was kind of horrible though - my stomach began to churn with the thought of the conversation to come. I shook my head straight away.

"No. I used to, but not since fifth year."

"Good. You can do much better than him, Santana."

Again, her words surprised me.

"I… uh, how do you mean?"

The crowds jostled around us and I stepped closer so I could hear her better as we walked.

"You should find someone who wants you for more than just your looks, or your money."

"…I have."

I couldn't believe those words had come out of my mouth. I'd had a whole speech explaining things prepared for later, when we were alone, and now I was just blurting things out in the middle of Diagon Alley. Fuck.

"Never mind," I muttered.

She was looking at me strangely. "No, go on."

Get it together, Santana. This is it. She's asking you directly. You can't lie. Just say it.

"Brittany."

It was a whisper, but I knew she'd heard because she looked confused. What have I done? She's going to hate me.

"Brittany? No, Santana, I know Brittany's a wonderful friend but I'm not talking about friends."

I couldn't go back now. I was so close. I wanted to be able to tell Brittany tonight that I'd been brave. I just had to be brave. This was all for Brittany.

"I'm not talking about friends either."

The words came out rushed, tumbling over each other, but she understood. So many expressions were flashing over her face. Surprise. Confusion. Worry.

I couldn't deal with this. I couldn't deal with her questions or yelling or tears - I had to get away. I shouldn't have said anything. I stopped in the middle of the street, turning to run in the opposite direction, but before I could move a hand had clamped down on my arm and was pulling me to the side where it wasn't so busy.

"Calm down, Santana."

I realised I was breathing hard and struggled to calm myself, avoiding her face as I did.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, staring at the wall and trying to stop the rising tears.

"What is there to be sorry for?"

I blinked, turning to look at her properly. She looked sad - not angry.

"You're upset."

"Not at you, Santana. I just… I wasn't expecting that." She sighed, frowning down at me. I had no idea what she was thinking. "I… I need to know, though. This isn't just some sort of… I don't know, some way to get my attention? I do try, Santana, and I know I let you down before, but with the Ministry and your father's work I-"

"No! No, it's not! I love Brittany, mamá. I love her so much. And she loves me too." She could understand that, right? She could understand love?

She gave me a weak smile in response.

"Then I'm happy for you, querida. But… you should know, your abuela is not going to take this well. I can talk to your father, but-"

"Please don't tell them yet," I interrupted. Of course abuela wasn't going to react well, she'd sent me a howler just because she'd heard a rumour at the Ministry. But I couldn't deal with her or papá finding out just yet. "I just wanted you to know. Just you. I know they won't get it. Please, keep it secret?"

She hesitated, but then nodded.

"Of course, Santana, if that is what you wish. Now come, enough serious talk for now. We need to finish this shopping before it gets dark!"


Brittany was waiting in the kitchen when I reached her house. I could tell, because the moment I knocked I heard a crash, followed by running footsteps and Brittany's mum yelling at her to clean up whatever she'd just dropped. Blonde hair appeared around the door a second later and Brittany grinned cheerfully at me, ushering me in then hurrying back into the kitchen. I followed her and found a smashed glass of orange juice on the floor that she was clearing up with her wand. I watched her quietly as she hovered the pile over to the bin, leaving a trail of orange juice behind her. Lord Tubbington followed, licking it all up so when she turned around there was nothing left.

"Sorry I'm late, mamá got a bit carried away with the shopping."

She grinned at me, shaking her head.

"It's fine. I got all the ingredients ready."

She gestured behind her, revealing a counter top covered in eggs, flour, butter, chocolate, fruit and apparently everything else she had found on her mum's baking shelf.

"Are you sure your mum's okay with this?" I asked quietly, stepping closer to survey the mass of food.

"It's okay, Santana, I fireproofed the kitchen," she reassured me as she suddenly appeared in the door. "Just call me if you need anything, okay?"

"Thanks!" I called after her, turning back to the food and starting to sift through it. "So… uh, what exactly did you want to make out of all this?"

"I don't mind," Brittany replied cheerily. "Maybe fruit cake? Or ginger biscuits- ooh, or fudge!"

I found a recipe book buried under several bags of chocolate chips and pulled it out, opening it up. I could feel Brittany move closer, looking down at it over my shoulder with her hand resting lightly on my hip.

"I think it might be best to start with something simple," I commented, flipping to the back of the book for the kids section. Years of supervising Brittany in Potions - and of course the Christmas pudding incident - had made me wary of doing anything with her involving recipes. I flipped through until I came to a page with a very short recipe labelled 'Rice Krispie Cakes'. That looked simple enough, and the Pierces always had that muggle cereal in the cupboard. "This look okay?" I asked.

She nodded eagerly, her chin bumping slightly against me.

"I'll get the rice krispies!" she declared, knocking against the table as she hurried across the room to the cupboard by the door.

I sorted through the ingredients on the side until I had found chocolate, butter and syrup, dropping them onto the table just as Brittany returned with the giant box of cereal.

"What else do we need?"

"Um… scales, a bowl, a couple of spoons and a saucepan," I read aloud from the book, wincing a little at the crash that met my ears when the saucepan clattered onto the floor.

Finally everything was set out on the table, and I gestured her over to look at the book with me.

"Look - we need to melt the chocolate first. Then add the butter and syrup, and when that's done we take it off the heat and mix in the rice krispies, then just leave it to cool down. See? Easy."

Brittany nodded dubiously, suddenly uncertain with the recipe in front of her. I bumped her hip lightly.

"It'll be great, okay? I'm here to help."

She smiled back at me, then looked down at the book with more confidence. "Okay… so first, we need to boil water. In a saucepan, right?"

"Exactly!"

"Aguamenti," she said, pointing her wand at the saucepan as I walked over to the oven. Luckily it was gas, not one of those weird muggle electric ones. "Watch out," she warned from behind me. I turned, and stared as she carefully carried across a saucepan full to the brim with water. I stayed quiet until she'd placed it carefully on the hob.

"Not that much water, Britt, we need to put the bowl on top of it," I explained, carefully siphoning some of the water off with my own wand and sending it in a stream towards the sink. I grabbed the glass bowl and balanced it on top. "See? It can't touch the water."

"Well why don't they say that?" Brittany complained, returning to the book to frown down at it. "They never explain things well enough. If you weren't here I'd have ruined it already…"

I walked over to her, glancing at the door before wrapping my arms around her from behind.

"Well that's why you asked me to help, right? It's your first time cooking, Britt, you're allowed to make mistakes. Come on, we need to melt the chocolate. Maybe we can eat some of it while we're waiting for it to melt," I suggested. That cheered her up straight away, and she reached out to grab the bar of chocolate. She turned before I'd pulled away properly to drop a soft kiss on my forehead.

"Thanks Santana," she whispered, brushing past me to return to the oven. "Do we need to like, break up it up or something first?" she asked, the chocolate unwrapped and hovering over the glass bowl.

"Exactly what we need to do," I replied. She grinned victoriously, snapping apart the pieces and dropping them into the bowl one at a time. I reached behind me for a spoon and approached, flourishing it in front of her when she was done with the chocolate. She took it happily and began stirring with enthusiasm. "Not so fast, Britt. Just need stirring slowly, so it all melts."

"Slowly, okay."

Her stirring sped down considerably. I probably should have been watching the bowl more to make sure she was doing it right, but it was much more pleasant to just look at her face, especially when it brightened at the sight of the chocolate melting.

"It's working, Santana!"

Watching her smile reminded me of the other news I had to tell her. I hadn't let her know I was planning to tell my mamá today, just in case it went wrong or I chickened out. I glanced at the door again, but I could hear the distant buzz of the television in the other room.

"I've got some news, Britt."

"Yeah?" she asked, not looking away from the bowl. Her face was a mixture of concentration and delight.

"You know how I promised to work harder, to do stuff by Christmas?" I reminded her tentatively. I didn't want her to bring up Puck just yet - I still had to work out a way to make him stop bugging me.

This time she looked at me properly, with a wide smile.

"You have, Santana. Sam, and Mike and Tina. You even told Matt yourself. It's great, we don't have to pretend around them."

"Yeah, I know, but… that's not what I was talking about." I reached out for her hand, holding it tightly as I smiled up at her. "I told mamá."

Brittany's smile lit up a thousand times more. "You did? Santana that's amazing!" she squealed, dropping the spoon suddenly to reach forward and wrap me up in a tight hug. She pulled back suddenly to stare down at me with concern. "What did she say? Was she okay with it?"

I bit my lip as I nodded, trying not to smile too widely, but that plan disappeared when Brittany scooped me up again, laughing. Her lips were on mine without warning and I kissed her back enthusiastically, only pulling away when a familiar smell wafted towards me.

"Brittany, the chocolate!"

Her hand dived back into the bowl to grab the spoon that had fallen in, picking up half the melted chocolate as she did so. She hit the knob to turn the gas lower and began to furiously whisk at it, scraping at the bottom where the burnt chocolate had stuck. I tried not to laugh, but the shocked expression on Brittany's face made it too hard not to. I bumped into the table behind me and doubled over when she stuck her tongue out at me, sliding down to the floor. The back of my head rested against the table leg as I laughed, hearing a click as she turned off the gas, and a moment later she had joined me, straddling me while her chocolate-covered hand covering my mouth.

"Don't laugh, you're meant to be helping me!" she protested, but with a look in her eye that told me she was trying not to laugh as well. I grinned back at her with my eyes, sticking my tongue out to lick up some of the melted chocolate. She gasped at first, then giggled and moved her hand slightly to give me better access. I licked again, teasing her as I drew one of her fingers into my mouth and sucked at it lightly.

"You're being mean, Santana," she murmured as she leaned in, pulling her hand away to my neck to tilt it up so she could lean in and kiss me. She pulled back before I'd even got to return the kiss to whisper. "You taste delicious."

"Don't I always?" I responded with a smirk, leaning forward to meet her halfway as she moved in to kiss me again.

I kissed her slowly, the chocolate mixing in our mouths and making Brittany taste even sweeter than she normally did. My head rested back on the table leg as I settled back and she leaned in further - until the soft pad of footsteps reminded me of who was just across the hallway. I pushed at her with both hands and she broke away with a sigh, looking supremely unconcerned.

"Britt, your parents," I hissed. I tried to glance towards the door, but her hand on my neck stopped me.

"Can't we tell them?" she whispered back, looking straight into my eyes, pleading. "You told your mum. My parents won't care. I want them to know."

I hesitated, but it was so hard to argue when she was looking at me like that.

"But what if they talk about it? What if papá or abuela finds out from them?"

"No, they won't. We can explain you want it kept quiet. Please, Santana."

This was Brittany's family. She knew them better than I did, but what if they hated me for it? What if they tried to stop us seeing each other?

It wasn't my choice, though. Brittany hadn't told them up till now because of me, but she'd wanted to. It wasn't fair for me to make that decision for her.

"O-okay," I muttered, with a quick nod. She smiled widely, scrambling off me and pulling me up from the floor. Then she leaned in to kiss me one last time.

"You're being so brave, Santana. Thank you," she whispered against my lips.

I shrugged, slightly uncomfortable under her confident gaze.

"You're the brave one, wanting to tell everyone, not being scared."

"Nu-uh, it's you. Because you're scared, but you're doing it anyway. For me. And you're amazing for it," Brittany whispered. There was silence for a moment, then she spun quickly and grabbed my hand, pulling me around the kitchen table and towards the doorway.

"Wait- what? Brittany, now?" I hissed, trying to squirm my hand away from her, but she was holding on too tight. "But- Britt, your face! It's covered in chocolate!" I objected even quieter as we entered the hallway, then I went completely silent as we stumbled together into the front room. Her mum and dad turned to look at us and I tried to yank my hand away again, but couldn't.

"We've got some great news!" Brittany enthused, clutching at my hand tighter.

I took a little step back under the curious gaze of her parents. As much as I wanted to be happy that Brittany was happy, I was too busy being worried about their reaction.

"Santana's my girlfriend!"

I cringed, but I should have guessed she would tell them straight out. Brittany didn't really sugar-coat things. My eyes flicked between them. They looked mildly surprised, and glanced at each other.

"That's… that's great, Brittany," her mum started. "But… hasn't she been your girlfriend for a while?"

Fear ran through me and I turned quickly to Brittany, but she just looked confused.

"Well there's the constant holding hands under the dinner table. And you were kissing under the mistletoe in Brittany's room the other day. Wasn't that… we just assumed…" Her dad trailed off, looking between us again. "Is this a new thing?"

Brittany shook her head, and I was glad she was up to responding because I had no idea how to react to this. They knew, they'd worked it out for themselves… and they were fine with it? They just 'assumed'?

"No, it's been… uh… I guess just over a year, properly," Brittany replied. "But Santana didn't want people to know," she explained, glancing back to offer me a gentle smile. Her parents were nodding understandingly as well. Understandingly? Was this really happening? "But not everyone knows yet. So, can you not tell people please?"

"Of course. Santana, you don't have to worry about us saying anything. Your secret is safe with us," her mum assured me. Her dad nodded, drawing a zipper across his mouth with twinkling eyes that were so similar to Brittany's.

I nodded, in a daze as Brittany said thanks and pulled me out of the room, back into the kitchen.

"You… they…"

I wasn't even sure what I wanted to say. She was smiling again - not a massive smile like before, but restrained, like she knew I wasn't ready to laugh about it yet.

"I told you they wouldn't care," she said quietly, opening her arms to me.

I let out a long breath I didn't know I'd been holding as I slumped against her, the stress of the day catching up with me. She stroked my hair lightly, leaning in to whisper in my ear.

"Thank you."


Briiit: The reason for the time jump was because from the start I wanted to show their entire time at Hogwarts, but I realised that I wouldn't be able to do that without long stretches of nothing particularly exciting happening. So I decided to split it into 3 parts with time jumps between them so I could tell the story from beginning to end, but only focusing on the important aspects of their story. I wasn't originally intending to have the interludes, but I thought it was a good idea to bridge the gap a little, particularly between parts 1 and 2.

Drawing to go with this chapter can be found here:

laurasfantasia. tumblr. com
/post/26313166371/kitchen-table