Sorry this one is so long, just couldn't find a good spot to break it up at without it being awkward
It had been a couple of hours since Rick and Booth had left and Nikki was starting to stir again. Brennan watched Nikki closely as she woke up. She had been concerned as Nikki had been crying in her sleep. Nikki's eyes looked around the room and came to rest on Brennan.
"How are you feeling?"
Nikki shrugged, "About the same." She whispered
"You were crying in your sleep." Brennan said as she poured her some water.
Nikki looked at her for any signs if Brennan knew what she was crying about. "Oh?"
"You were looking for Steven." Nikki closed her eyes and put her hands over her face. "Are you okay?"
"Rick knows Steven shielded you." Brennan offered, "Last night when we got here they were talking about the bullet being slowed down and Booth said that it probably hit Steven first." Nikki looked at the ceiling shaking her head.
"Rick said he always knew that no matter what happened Steven would protect you."
Nikki looked at Brennan, "I love my husband, don't doubt that."
"But you love Steven the most." Nikki looked at her in shock; she didn't seem like the type that would pick up on feelings. "Booth said Steven was the one you loved the most."
Nikki nodded. "Very perceptive of Agent Booth."
"I am not sure how you could love someone like him, he was not very nice."
"Dr. Brennan, Steven wasn't always like that. What you saw was a way of dealing with something that was out of control." Brennan furrowed her brow.
"Steven and I meant when we were both hired by the sheriffs department. We were pretty much inseparable for the next 3 years. We were one heck of a team, and then I wanted more. It scared him and he left. I had known Rick and we started having coffee, he picked up the pieces after Steven left. Over a year, I healed somewhat and was moving on. I was starting to be happy again. Then I got a case we needed to bring the FBI in on. That is when I found out where Steven ran away to. He was the agent they sent to my case."
"I felt like someone had ripped my insides out when I saw him step out of that black vehicle. At first we did okay, strictly professional, just like working with a stranger. Until the day he saw my engagement ring." Nikki stared out the window of her hospital room, so many images going through her mind. "He pulled me aside while we had agents doing a grid search and asked me about it. Dr. Brennan it had been over a year, he had left me when I told him I wanted more and now he was upset that I had found someone that loved me." Nikki started to turn her wedding rings around on her finger. "He wanted another chance. He wanted me to end my engagement and give him another chance. I thought about it and I finally came to the decision that he only decided he wanted me when I was no long attainable. So I turned him down, I hurt him."
"My whole engagement he continued to try to win me back. Flowers, chocolates, notes, cards, you name it he tried it. I told him to stop and he said I was still fair game until I said 'I do'. Once I got married, that is when the Steven you saw emerged. For the last 3 years, my agency has dealt with the FBI more than we did for a whole decade before. And of course it never failed I was the one stumbling across whatever it was that needed the FBI. I was beginning to think I was cursed." She laughed, but it had a sadness to it. "So while I had a year to heal, he never got a chance, we were pushed together repeatedly and the bickering started, then it turned to arguing. Guess it was easier for him to work with me if he was mad at me. Anger can keep you going."
"I love my husband he is a good man and he loves me a great deal. I am a very lucky woman."
"But you settled, you didn't marry the one you loved the most."
"No I didn't settle, I married the one that was right for me. Sometimes the one we love the most isn't the right one at that particular time."
"How do you know who the right one is?"
"You just know and you feel it deep inside. Even when there is doubt you feel it."
Brennan sat on Nikki's bed for a long time just looking out the window. Nikki watched her and could tell she was trying to make sense of something in her head.
"Dr. Brennan love does not make sense. What you feel for Agent Booth can not be explained with science. You can try, but your science will pale in comparison to what you feel inside."
"I still don't understand how you know you made the right decision. I watched you cry and tell Steven you loved him, I watched you here dreaming and trying to find him."
"I do love him, I can't and don't want to change that, because loving him made me a better person when I chose to become Rick's wife. Looking for him in my sleep, maybe it is my soul mourning his or maybe my way of coming to terms with his death, especially since he died protecting me. I don't know."
Brennan went silent again staring out the window. "Dr. Brennan, tell me what you feel deep inside about Agent Booth"
"Booth loves me and I love him. He is the marrying type, as you know I believe it is an antiquated ritual. But when I think of it with him, it doesn't seem so barbaric. And while I don't believe in loving just one person for your whole life, again, I see it might be possible with him."
"You had the answer right in front of you this whole time."
"I do not understand."
"Yes you do. He has made you change you whole way of thinking. Giving yourself to him in a marriage doesn't seem like such a bad idea. Telling the world you love him and want to spend you life with him doesn't seem so impossible. Belonging to someone doesn't seem so archaic as long as that someone you belong to is him, yet you still trying to use science to hide from what you are feeling."
"I will admit that over the years, Booth has taught me a lot about human interaction and trusting your gut, as he would say."
"Dr. Brennan if you woke up tomorrow and were given a choice, you had to proclaim your love for Agent Booth for the world to see and marry him or lose him forever. Never hearing his voice again, never see his smile, and never see the playfulness in his eyes. What would you choose?"
"That is not something that would happen…."
"Dr. Brennan" Nikki cut her off, "what would you do? You only have two choices tell the world you love him and become his wife or never see him again. Those are you only choices."
Brennan stared at Nikki for what seemed like an eternity. Nikki's eyes never wavered, never showed any doubt as to what Brennan's decision would be. "I would proclaim my love and marry him. The thought of losing him forever would cause me considerable pain."
"See, I told you, you understood. You have had the answer all along."
"So how do I tell him?"
"I think you know how to do that too. Just because you figured it out doesn't mean you have to hit him like a tidal wave with it. I would suggest dropping hints; Agent Booth seems like a bright boy he will pick up on them."
"What if I am not a very good hint dropper?"
"Call me, I will give you ideas." Both women smiled at each other, just as Rick and Booth came into the room. Both men froze as the girls turned and looked at them and smiled knowingly at each other.
"Booth, I think we walked in on them plotting something." Neither man took their eyes off the girls.
"Hi Bones, Hi Nikki, Should we leave and come back later?"
Nikki smiled, "No that won't be necessary, we finished our plotting." She rolled her eyes at her husband.
"Nikki, I am sure you need some rest and would like to spend time with your husband and I would like to steal Bones for a few hours if you don't mind?"
Nikki smiled, "You can have her only if you take her out dancing."
"I can do that."
"Dr. Brennan come here," Nikki pulled Brennan down and whispered in her ear. Both women were looking at Booth and smiling. "You two have fun now."
"What did she say to you Bones?"
"Agent Booth, you don't need to worry about that." Rick just laughed as Booth and Brennan left the room. Rick was happy they were not plotting about him. Rick pushed her morphine button and kissed her gently on the forehead.
"Rick you will pay for pushing that button when I can get off this bed."
"I know." He smiled at her.
Booth and Brennan got off the elevator in the lobby and headed for the front doors. She slipped her arm through his and rested her head on his shoulder. There was something different about her, something more at ease, like she had made a decision. He wasn't going to ask, he knew she would tell him in her own time. When they got to the SUV, Booth opened the door for her and he took her elbow to help her in. She stopped and turned towards him, putting her hands on his chest and leaning into him.
Looking up into his eyes, she raised herself up enough to lightly kiss his lips, "I choose you Booth," and then she turned around hopped into the passenger seat of the SUV and pulled her door closed, leaving Booth standing mildly stunned next to the vehicle.
He turned slowly and started to walk around the back of the SUV a smile sliding across his face, he isn't sure what Nikki said to her, but he had to remember to thank her later.
